A London Thoroughfare
by NikkylovesBD
Summary: His wife was dead and all he could do was run. There was nothing keeping him in BH any longer. He ran to the only person that could save him, the only person who could help. Brenda and Dylan in their hot and steamy 3 years they are together offscreen in London. A little bit of back home and a little bit of BK. Sort of follows the timeline of the actual show at times.
1. Chapter 1

_**A London Thoroughfare.**_

Chapter one

2 A.M.

 _They have watered the street,_

 _It shines in the glare of lamps,_

 _Cold, white lamps,_

 _And lies_

 _Like a slow-moving river,_

 _Barred with silver and black._

 _Cabs go down it,_

 _One,_

 _And then another._

 _Between them I hear the shuffling of feet._

 _Tramps doze on the window-ledges,_

 _Night-walkers pass along the sidewalks._

 _The city is squalid and sinister,_

 _With the silver-barred street in the midst,_

 _Slow-moving,_

 _A river leading nowhere._

 _Opposite my window,_

 _The moon cuts,_

 _Clear and round,_

 _Through the plum-coloured night._

 _She cannot light the city;_

 _It is too bright._

 _It has white lamps,_

 _And glitters coldly._

 _I stand in the window and watch the moon._

 _She is thin and lustreless,_

 _But I love her._

 _I know the moon,_

 _And this is an alien city._

I looked out the window, London looked as sad as I felt. It had been raining the few days I had been here. I had been traveling around with nowhere to go for 1 month.

Beverly Hills was now a memory, Toni was gone, the gang far from my everyday life. I came to London intent on passing through to France at least that is what I told myself

when I jumped the train. The truth was, I knew I wasn't passing through. I continued to look out the window. London was an alien city but the moon looked the same, familiar,

it reminded me of her. She was here and I needed her desperately. She always had guts. She always surprised me too. She never did what you expected her to do. When we

got back together before she left for London, I can't lie I was disappointed she didn't return. Was I shocked? No, she had guts to move away and to get the training she had

dreamed of. Even if it meant leaving me behind. I was proud of her. _Even with an ocean between us, I will always love you._

I walked over to the bed and sat down taking my head in my hands. Something had to give. I couldn't do this anymore. There was a part of me that was nervous what I'd

come to find here in London. Maybe thats why the 3 days I had been here I had been holed up in this hotel room. It's not that I worried she would be with someone else. I

didn't deserve loyalty from her. I didn't even have the balls to tell her I was getting married myself. The idea I wouldn't be welcome with open arms did sting and hung deep in

my heart. Then the other part of me didn't give a shit. She was family, she was one of my best friends. I'm sure by now she had heard what had happened to Toni and that I

had left. I hadn't talked to anyone and surely they didn't know where I had been these last 4 weeks. I had left Beverly hills because there was nothing there for me anymore.

Here I am in the city that Brenda has lived for the past two years. I sit in this hotel room, watching the cabs, the cars go by wondering what she's doing. If that ocean wasn't

between us, would she still love me? The truth was I didn't have much else to lose. Only the most important first love of my life. Oh the irony.

It was 2am, I found myself walking towards where I knew she lived. She had wrote me letters after staying here in London. Her telegram confirmed she hadn't moved at

least as of 4 weeks ago. I looked up at the red brick building. Rain dripped from my hair. Taking a deep breath I slowly climbed the 5 steps up to the front door. Opening it

slowly, I entered the lobby area. It was vacant because of the time but brightly lit. It was lined with a dark orange cough and mailboxes across the walls. I was pleasantly

surprised that it had a lift not having much energy or courage or that matter to walk up 3 flights of stairs. I entered and pressed the 3rd floor. It was a big building, located in

the lively area of London's west end. The ride up was slow, it was an older building and the elevator was loud. The doors clanked open and straight ahead was a long hallway.

There was maybe 5 apartments total lining both sides, the walls pale yellow with dark brown doors. I hesitated long enough for the door to start to close. I quickly shot my hand

out making them reopen. I moved cowardly slow down the hallway reading the numbers and letters as they got higher down the small passage. The last apartment on the end

read 4E. This was it, the moment I had been dreaming of and also dreading for 3 days. My fist came up quickly but hesitated, the dark wood door glaring at me. _Dylan…it's just_

 _Brenda_. I thought. Thump thump thump, the back of my knuckles hit her door. I moved my wet hair from my face and waited. It took a couple full minutes for me to hear

movement in the once silent apartment. I heard the jitter of the doorknob and silence. I looked down quickly knowing whoever was behind that door, was peering at me through

the peep hole. I glanced up and smirked knowingly. She still lived here, I felt her.

"Dylan?" I heard questionably…soft…surprised. I smiled hearing the familiar voice.

The fumble of a lock chain being opened, the turn of a dead bolt, a twist of a door knob. Then the dark wood door swung open as blue grey sleepy eyes, as sad as my own

stared at me. I thought quickly at what to say for a moment but in an instant she was in my arms. Her small arms wrapped tightly around my neck. I buried my face in her hair

and instantly felt relief. Welcome arms was exactly what I received. Four weeks of running away led me here. Far from where I began yet felt more like home in that instant

than ever before. I tightened my hold on her petite frame and heard her exhale. London was an alien city but this, this I knew. This I loved.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Friendship After Love

After the fierce midsummer all ablaze

Has burned itself to ashes, and expires

In the intensity of its own fires,

There come the mellow, mild, St. Martin days

Crowned with the calm of peace, but sad with haze.

So after Love has led us, till he tires

Of his own throes, and torments, and desires,

Comes large-eyed Friendship: with a restful gaze.

He beckons us to follow, and across

Cool verdant vales we wander free from care.

Is it a touch of frost lies in the air?

Why are we haunted with a sense of loss?

We do not wish the pain back, or the heat;

And yet, and yet, these days are incomplete.

I pulled away and looked up at him. His hair wet from the London rain, his dark eyes sad and dazed. Brandon called me and told me what happened to his wife. I had been thinking about Dylan everyday for the last month wondering how he was doing. He never did deal with things in a positive way. When Brandon told me he left L.A. I wasn't surprised. Dylan rarely surprised me. I felt like I knew him better than myself sometimes. Which is ironic because I don't think any of our friends ever did. I gently moved a strand of his wet hair away from his eye. He smiled a genuine smile and looked into my eyes.

"Sorry its so late." he said quietly.

"No I'm glad you're here." I looked down shyly now that the effect of seeing him again wore off. "Oh god, come in. I'm so sorry…your wet." I finally realized I hadn't invited him in yet and he looked soaked.

He strode past me into my living room and started to shake out of his jacket as I closed the front door. He looked around and smirked.

I walked quickly picking up an empty wine glass from the coffee table and an empty bag of chips seeing him checking the place out. "Sorry I wasn't expecting company, with rehearsals I haven't had a chance to clean up."

He chuckled, "Bren its fine…it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you're apologizing to me about your house?"

I swallowed hard and held the wrapper and glass to my chest, "it's so good to see you. Did you just get into town?"

He gave me an shy look and sat down on the couch, "I got to London 3 days ago. I was in Amsterdam before that. I was passing through, on my way to France and thought…" he paused. He chuckled again and shook his head looking down. "Thats a lie." He made eye contact again.

I moved over to the couch and sat down next to him. My thigh hitting his, I set down the glass and wrapper back on the coffee table and set my hands in my lap, "You weren't in Amsterdam?"

He leaned forward setting his elbows to his knees and slowly met my stare. "I was in Amsterdam and I have been in London for a few days but I'm not passing through." I continued to look at his intense eyes waiting for him to finish. And he looked down at his hands continuing, "I came to London to see you. I really had no intention of going anywhere else. I found myself getting on the train and coming here to see you…but it took me a few days and an ungodly hour to build up the nerve to do so." He looked at me again and smiled. I couldn't help but smile back. He was still incredibly sexy. He looked a little older, his hair shorter with more spike than I remembered. His sideburns were also shorter but his face was still Dylan. His stare intense, his sexy crooked smile still made me sigh. _God damn it, I loved this boy, even after all these years. Damn!_

"I'm glad you're here." I said softly.

"You are?" he asked in a tone I hadn't heard in awhile, uncertain like he was nervous.

I smiled, "Of course I am Dylan. I've been thinking about you so much lately. No one knows where you are. Brandon told me about." I paused I didn't want to say her name. "Your wife." I finished.

He took a deep breath and looked at his hands again.

"Are you ok?" I asked and reached my hand to touching his shoulder. I felt him relax and look at me again.

"I'm ok Bren." He nodded to try and reassure me. I continued to caress his shoulder with my thumb. He looked at my hand and before I could pull it away he reached for my hand clasping it in his and bringing it to his lap. "I'll be ok…now" He smiled again. "I needed to see you, I really missed you Bren." he admitted.

I took a deep breath and looked at our clasped hands, there was something about this visit that felt strange. Dylan and I had been friends, close friends after the love. I wasn't sure why he was here but I was so happy he was. His hand in mine felt different. There was a need for it and in that moment I knew he came because he needed me. We stood by each other in rough times before. "I missed you too." I whispered.

He stared at me, those dark intense eyes imploring mine. He let go of my hand and brought his fingers to my cheek, his thumb caressing it. I took a deep breath at the contact and put my hand on his. "I'm here for you always." I whispered.

He smiled and exhaled, "I know." He nodded knowingly, "You have picked up the pieces for me more times than I can count. I am sorry to come over here out of the blue so late." His hand dropped and my cheek felt cold from the loss of contact. "Are you busy, am I keeping you from something." he looked to the hall way by the kitchen as if he realized maybe I didn't live alone.

I laughed, "Yes you're keeping me from sleep." I joked. "God its good to see you." I tried to lighten the mood. "Where are you staying?"

He leaned back on the couch making himself more comfortable, "The Piccadilly."

"So close, thats great, how long are you staying?" it slipped out but I had to know. Here he was back, sitting in front of me. I hadn't seen him in 2 years. I know my decision to stay here in London may have been a shock. We had rekindled our relationship in the week before I left. I had told him to give me something to come back to and then I didn't come back. I always wondered how that affected him or if he really cared much.

He shrugged and smiled, "How long can I stay?"

I laughed out loud, "As long as you want…I'm in between plays, it would be great to catch up. It's been way too long." I wanted to offer for him to stay at my place but I wasn't sure if it was appropriate. "Let me give you the grand tour." I grabbed his hand trying to still lighten the mood. He got up willingly. "So obviously this is my living room." I tugged gently on his hand showing him the kitchen, the hallway bathroom, then my bedroom. I let go of his hand and brought my arm up presenting, "And this is my bedroom." I turned to face him. There wasn't much to my small ass London apartment. I didn't have a roommate and this was enough for me. It was small by american standards, something I had gotten used to living in England.

He put his hands in his pocket and nodded, "I like it." and glanced at the bed.

"It's not much but…"

"No it's perfect…very you." he smiled

I smiled back, "Thanks?"

There was a long silence and we stared at each other. My double bed being a pink elephant in the room. The last time Dylan and I were together, we were in a very physical relationship. We were older and with me leaving in a week I wanted to be with him as much as I could. We had barely left his bedroom. His eyes traveled down my frame and I became very aware I was in my pajamas, a pair of yoga pants and a short shirt that showed my midriff . My arms shot out uncomfortably and hit my thighs as he took a step towards me.

"You look beautiful." his eyes boring into mine. Stepping closer.

I laughed, "You look…." I rolled my eyes keeping my smile before locking eyes with him again. "Sexy as usual." I shook my head.

His smile grew as he closed the distance between us. Both hands cupped my face as he moved closer and brought his lips to mine. They enclosed around mine in a sweet hot kiss. I closed my eyes feeling the familiarity of them. Dylan knew how to kiss. I parted my lips grazing his tongue with mine. He groaned taking his hands from my face and enveloping me into his arms. The kiss was passionate and deep and slowly getting steamier. My hands went to his chest pushing slightly, I looked down, "Dylan." I whispered.

"I'm sorry…just being here, seeing you…god I missed you."

I saw the nervousness in his face. "Are you hungry?" I interrupted.

He exhaled and nodded, "I can eat."

"Come on." I laced my hand with his and dragged him to the kitchen. I wasn't going to lie, there was nothing more I wanted to do then to make love to Dylan. But as good as that kiss was, there were simple truths that I was sadly aware of. Dylan's wife just died 4 weeks ago. By the looks of his sad eyes even though warmer since being here they still remained sad, she must have been something to get a ring on his finger. Two Dylan wasn't ready for the kind of relationship I wanted. Even if we did have unfinished business.

I made eggs and toast and we laughed a lot. We talked about school, my plays, my touring. He asked a lot of questions. He genuinely wanted to know about my life here and I openly told him. Being here with him was like I always imagined. He openly flirted with me, his gazes too long, his simple touches when passing too loving. I needed to keep Dylan at arms length. I wasn't doing the best job, considering after staying up all night laughing, talking and catching up, we finally fell asleep at 6am on my couch in each other arms. This was going to be a lot harder than I anticipated.

 _Sooooo Brenda's point of view and their first night together. Let me know what your thinking and yes I am working on my other stories too. I hope it was sweet enough. :) I totally pictured this kind of meet up. Attraction yet like old friends. I don't know, tell me if you pictured something else._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

 _ **Hey Jealousy**_

 _Is it thy will thy image should keep open_

 _My heavy eyelids to the weary night?_

 _Dost thou desire my slumbers should be broken,_

 _While shadows like to thee do mock my sight?_

 _Is it thy spirit that thou send'st from thee_

 _So far from home into my deeds to pry,_

 _To find out shames and idle hours in me,_

 _The scope and tenor of thy jealousy?_

 _O, no! thy love, though much, is not so great:_

 _It is my love that keeps mine eye awake;_

 _Mine own true love that doth my rest defeat,_

 _To play the watchman ever for thy sake:_

 _For thee watch I whilst thou dost wake elsewhere,_

 _From me far off, with others all too near._

 _by William Shakespeare_

I had moved out of the hotel a week after meeting up with Brenda. After coming and going for a week I just came out and asked if she minded if I stayed with her. I had waited for her to offer, which I sensed she wanted to but maybe thought it would be inappropriate. She said yes without hesitation, I was thankful because I could not stop thinking about her. Every night as I retired to my hotel she was all I dreamed of. She had proven to be a good friend even after our years of separation, even after I married someone else. To be honest I hadn't thought about Toni since arriving here, which maybe wasn't the most healthy thing but I was never a healthy emotional person anyway. Brenda welcomed me with open arms and we caught up. She seemed to be doing really well in London. She had a few close girlfriends, some guy friends too and sadly she was seeing someone who also attended the Royal Academy. His name was Ethan and from my understanding they had been seeing each other for a few months. I knew it was unrealistic to ask Brenda to jump into a relationship with me the minute I returned into her life but I really wanted too. Living with her and seeing each other after the last couple years had been great. The past week we had spent every minute together and I hadn't met Ethan yet. She didn't bring up my short marriage or the death of my wife but I knew it was coming. I also knew Brenda well enough to know that she would insist on talking about it if I wanted to move our relationship to a less platonic status. It wasn't very platonic is you ask me. We cuddled and gave each other the look, the ones we both remember fondly from each other. I stole a kiss every now and then but from what I had noticed Brenda kept me at arms length. I had stolen Brenda's time and affection this past week and a half, and her friends were starting to wonder where she had been. They would call she would say she had a friend visiting from the states and we were busy sightseeing, things of that nature. My alone time with her was cut short though, it sucked.

I watched as she got ready to go out with friends. She had invited me half a dozen times but I declined. I wasn't the most social person in the world especially with new people. Brenda was getting ready to go to a local pub, they played live music and after 10 there was dancing. I was sitting on the couch pretending to read a book when really I was watching her get ready. She came out of the bathroom looking around for her purse. She looked exquisite! She was wearing tight jeans, a tight black top and sexy boots that had a heel. She was a beautiful grown woman now. She was always sexy and perfect but she had a maturity now that I can only imagine came with living on her own and age. I stared as she moved her things into a tiny purse from the normal one she had been carrying around the past week. She felt my stare and she looked at me. Her light eyes blazing into mine.

"You sure you don't want to go?" She looked guiltily at me.

"Nah its ok Bren. Have fun, don't worry about me." I looked down at my book.

I felt the couch dip and when I looked next to me she was there. She set her warm hand on my thigh, "I always worry about you, plus it will be fun."

I placed my hand over heres, "Well don't…I'm fine. You've spend all your time with me this past week and your friends aren't going to like me much if they think I'm trying to steal you away." I smiled.

She playfully rolled her eyes, "Dylan my friends are very cool, they will make you feel like part of the group. I would love for you to meet them, they'll love you as much as I do. Please come." she begged.

I sighed thinking of a new way to say no when the door bell rang. Saved by the bell. I remained quiet and smirked. I motioned my head to the door to give her the hint to get it. She sighed and used my leg to help her up. She opened the front for and there stood five of Brenda's closest friends these days. I eyed them while they hugged and greeted each other. There were three girls and two guys. There was a shorter brunette with shoulder length hair. She had a nice body and a genuine smile. She made eye contact with me quickly and started walking over. I rose from the couch to greet her.

"I'm Laura, you must be Dylan." She smiled and spoke in her perfect British accent.

I nodded a smile and met her hand shake. "Nice to meet you." I knew the name, Brenda had talked about her friends. She was Brenda's roommate for two years at the Academy and her best friend. Third year students didn't have on campus housing so Brenda had told me Laura had moved in with her boyfriend leaving Brenda to find a flat of her own.

"Dylan this is my other half, Eric…Eric this is Dylan." The sandy brown hair guy walked up with a smile. He wrapped his arm around Laura's waist and held out his hand.

"Dylan McKay." I greeted him.

"Eric O'Connell." he replied in a different accent, Irish definitely.

Brenda moved closer to us and introduced the other two females that had entered. Angie, from Texas and Veronica from Toronto. Both pretty girls. Veronica was from a native american background, with tan dark skin, big brown eyes and long straight brown black hair. Angie was also a brunette, with a thick southern accent. She was fair with bright blue eyes. Both greeted me with smiles and curious looks as if they knew who I was or had at least heard of me. Brenda stepped closer to the only male left.

"Dylan this is my boyfriend Ethan Taylor. Ethan this is my close friend Dylan McKay." As she got closer to him he brought his arm around her shoulders kissing the top of her head and then looked at me. As if staking his claim. He smiled a cocky smile and held out his hand. "Hiya, Pleasure to meet you." He was British too. He had medium brown hair, about the same color as mine. Green eyes, thick lashes and dimples. I smirked back giving him my own version of cocky and met his hand. The handshake was firm tight even. My first impression of Ethan was that even coming from me, a straight young male, he was good looking. Fantastic, insert sarcasm! He seemed cocky though and it was obvious he knew who I was. Maybe Brenda and him hadn't been together that long but they had been friends first. When she finally told me about her friends she talked about all of them very platonically. I had hoped that maybe she wasn't seeing anyone but then she came out and told me about Ethan. That they had always flirted and liked each other but she either was seeing someone or he was, their timing was off. Until a few months ago, when I had met Toni, Brenda got her timing right with Ethan.

"Same, Nice to meet you too." Our firm handshake ended and he looked down at Brenda, in which she had looked into his eyes as well. She smiled at him and leaned in giving him a hug, he whispered "I missed you." to only her but we all heard him.

"Dylan, you're going to need a coat. It's Monkeys outside!" Laura smiled and I laughed at her clearly British slang. I imagined she meant it was cold but people in England talked so much different then us.

"Dylan isn't coming out with us. He seems to think reading a book alone on my couch is funner then seeing us get legless." Brenda smiled a gorgeous sweet smile.

"Legless?" I asked trying to be at least friendly. I wasn't a complete asshole, Brenda was important to me and it was important her friends at least saw me as a potentially nice guy. No matter what they actually knew about me.

Angie laughed, "Ya'll stop making Dylan feel left out. She means hammered. We all are getting hammered tonight." she was sweet. A southern belle. "I swear to hell, the first year I lived here, I barely understood what half the people were trying to tell me." she laughed.

"Yes because any of us understood you as well, we were gormless I'm telling you." Ethan looked at me and continued, "Clueless." he put it in American english for me. Dick

"Well…I'm sure seeing you all get hammered is a sight to see but you guys have fun." I did not like Ethan Taylor. That was my second impression of the douche.

"Oh come on Dyl's…please for me." Brenda batted her sexy eyes at me. I smirked at her almost forgetting we weren't alone. She pouted, "Pleeese." she knew what she did to me.

Ethan tightened his grip which was now around Brenda's waist. "He doesn't want to go Brenda, bugger it." she huffed in response.

All of a sudden I guess I was glutton for punishment. Now I wanted to go just because this asshole didn't want me too. "Alright Bren…you win. I'll go." I agreed.

"Yay." she squealed walking away from that douche nugget and into my awaiting arms. I hugged her tightly looking over her shoulder at her boyfriend eying me. "Thank you." she whispered. I hugged her tighter.

"Anything for you." I uttered to her, but loud enough that people heard.

After helping Brenda with her leather jacket I put my own on as well. We filed out of the apartment and stepped into the chilly London air. Ethan found Brenda's hand and kissed it. I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes. I was going to play this cool. It was obvious I bothered Ethan with my presence and that enough was ammunition to be my cool, secure and cocky self. He didn't have to know I was equally as bothered with his presence. Her friends were nice and besides the English slang they did make me feel part of the group so far. Everyone but Ethan but he was still polite and nice enough. No one seemed to catch on to his sarcastic words to me, at least so far.

This was going to be an interesting night. It wasn't easy seeing Brenda in someone else's arms but I knew our connection. I guess part of me needed to see how her connection was with this new guy. Was he competition or just the simple fact Brenda was living a separate live without me. Separate until now.

 _Soooooooo Ethan huh! Let me just say that Ethan is not a bad guy. He knows about Dylan, he knows Brenda is or was in love with him and he is being a cocky son of a gun. Its not that he isn't a nice guy. Thank you all for your reviews, I live for them. Also yes Brenda was not moping around hung up on Dylan. She s dating Ethan, you'll find out about other guys she dated. And she has friends. She has made a good life out there for herself. But hello there is only ONE DYLAN MCKAY! Stay with me. Anyway next up Brenda's POV of the night out. Tell me what you are thinking….pretty please with a Dylan smirk and a wink!_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

 _ **Feelin Love**_

 _You make me feel like a sticky pistil_

 _Leaning into her stamen._

 _You make me feel like Mr. Sunshine himself._

 _You make me feel like splendor in the grass where we're rolling_

 _Damn skippy baby_

 _You make me feel like the Amazon's running between my thighs._

 _You make me feel love_

 _You make me feel like a candy apple all red and horny_

 _You make me feel like I want to be dumb blonde_

 _In a centerfold, the girl next door._

 _And I would open the door and I'd be all wet_

 _With my tits soaking through this tiny little t-shirt_

 _That I'm wearing and you would open the door_

 _And tie me up to the bed._

 _You make me feel love_

 _Lover I don't know who I am._

 _Am I Barry White - am I Isis?_

 _Lover I'm laced with your unconscious,_

 _I will be your Desdemona_

 _By Paula Cole_

The walk over was interesting. Ethan was a nice guy but I knew he was jealous. He was always sweet and nice. Tonight a huge turn off. I had known Ethan for the two years I had lived in London. I was always attracted to him but he always had a girlfriend or I was seeing someone. I had dated a lot in London. No one crazy special but I was young, single and available, why not right? Then a few months ago Ethan and I had finished a play together and it was our time. Finally it just happened. We weren't incredibly serious but I did like him. He was sweet, funny, charming, a good kisser, sexy and he was pretty good in bed if you ask me. I had only ever been with two guys before moving here. Weirdly enough he reminded me of Dylan. He had the same sexy air about him. The confidence yet shyness he would show every so often. He held me, kissed my forehead and treated me right. He made me feel special again. Something I hadn't felt since Dylan. Now Dylan was back, doing the same things I fell in love with. He had much more baggage now but we'd been through hard times before. You couldn't compare my connection with Dylan. Ethan was a great substitute but he was still just that…a substitute. Ethan was throwing little things in here and there. At first I didn't think anyone noticed, until Laura gave me a look and I knew it was painfully obvious Ethan was not happy with the return of Dylan McKay. It didn't help that Dylan looked painfully sexy tonight. He hadn't changed since this morning since his agreeing to come with us was so last minute but even without trying he was incredible. He wore a black t-shirt that was a little fitted, blue jeans his hair done just so and a leather jacket. He screamed cool and I suddenly remembered why I fell in love with him. The week and half Dylan had been in London had been amazing. We were good friends, close friends…too close. The sexual energy that came natural to us and the chemistry was driving me mad. It was getting so hard to do the right thing. I just wasn't myself around him.

We walked into the pub a little after 9 o'clock. The band that was playing tonight was one of Ethan and the gangs favorite. Here it was 1996 and grunge rock was making its way into the London scene. It was better than the house music that swarmed the college bars in the area. Dylan eyed me and would give me a smile every so often. Ethan was abnormally touchy feely. I knew Dylan had a rough year with the drinking again. Here we were about to drink like we always did on nights out and suddenly I felt guilty.

"Sweetie do you want your usual?" Ethan asked while we approached the bar.

"Um…nothing for me, a coke maybe…Dylan you want a coke?"

"You aren't drinking?" Ethan asked me and Dylan, looking between us. "Bloody hell." he replied as him and Eric went to the bar. He looks annoyed.

I sighed and moved closer to Dylan, "I'm sorry about him tonight."

Dylan smirked, "It's ok Bren, I get it."

"Get what?" I asked curious because I had no idea what came over Ethan tonight. It wasn't like him to be rude. English boys were always polite, at least the ones I surrounded myself with.

"Oh come on Bren, he doesn't like me. And besides you can have a drink around me, I'm ok you know."

"Of course he likes you, he barely knows you." I said defensive.

"Look you two are going out, me and you have a past. I just get it. He's jealous and he's being protective of his relationship." He moved slowly closer to me. He leaned in his lips touching my ear, I held my breath, "I understand it more than you know. I'm jealous too." he whispered placing a soft kiss under my ear on my neck. Chills shot through me causing the hairs on my arm to stand up. I exhaled.

"I'm pretty protective of my relationship too." He continued as he moved through the crowd to get his coke.

I stood there weak in the knees, my stomach flipped when he was near.

"Having trouble?" Laura appeared at my side. Her face showing she had seen what just happened. She wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "You were right, he is something I tell ya."

"What am I going to do?" I asked her seriously.

"You're going to have a drink and enjoy your long lost lover being in town. And if your lucky maybe you can tell me if after two years he is still as bloody good as ever after you shag him." she smirked and raised her eyebrows.

"Laura, the man just lost his wife."

"In which he knew for 5 minutes, isn't that what you told me when you found out from your brother he was getting married? Brenda he came here for you." She gave me a knowing look and joined Eric by smacking his butt. This was going to be an interesting night.

The set the band played was over and they started playing dance music. Ethan hadn't left my side all night but I still had my eyes on Dylan. He cooly listened to the music. He made small talk with the rest of the group but his eyes always found mine. The songs slowed down as couples started dancing closely.

"Ya'll I love this song…it's so sexy." Angie said as a new release by Paula Cole came on. The song was maybe a month old. It was a sexy song. When I first heard it a month ago I thought of Dylan. She grabbed a random guy and started rubbing her goodies on him as she swayed with the music. I looked around and realized Ethan wasn't around. I felt him before I saw him. Dylan grabbed my hand and gently pulled me onto the dance floor. His eyes bore into mine. I looked back quickly at my girlfriends while being pulled who had a smile on their faces as they watched us. Approving no doubt. My eyes found Dylan's again as he brought me to the middle of the floor. His arms tightly pulled me into him. His chest against mine, his hot sweet breath on my face. I circled my arms around his neck tightly almost hugging him. He swayed slowly to the music, seductively grinding his pelvis against mine. Dear god! His hands lowering from my waist to my butt. He grabbed roughly pulling me impossibly closer to him. His erection evident as it pressed tightly to me. I exhaled and closed my eyes and for once in the last week and a half, I let myself get lost in Dylan McKay.

After dancing to Nobody knows it but me by Tony Rich Project, Twisted and Nobody by Keith Sweat I was a bundle of horny 16 year old hormones. What the hell was up with the pubs playlist tonight? If I hadn't wanted to have sex with Dylan before I sure as hell wanted to now. I was about to drag his ass to the bathroom and have my way with him when Jewel's who will save your soul came on bringing me back to reality. With a deep breath I separated my bits from Dylan's and grabbed his hand dragging him off the dance floor. I looked around for my friends not seeing anyone. Shit.

"Looks like they left." Dylan pursed his lips together trying not to gloat.

"I see that." I sighed, "Want to go home?" I looked over at him annoyed I let myself get carried away with him.

He smiled liking the sound of it, "Let's go home." he repeated.

The walk home was quiet. He didn't try to hold my hand sensing I was pissed. I wasn't mad at him, I was mad at myself. There were things we needed to talk about. We entered the apartment in silence. I turned watching him take his jacket off and I did my own.

"So…do you want to explain to me what that was about." I flat out asked.

"I don't know what you mean." He responded.

"Really Dylan…why are you doing this?"

Dylan sat on the couch and took a deep breath, "Brenda…I didn't do anything you didn't want to do. I've seen the way you look at me. I feel it in my heart and soul the love we still have. I'm sorry if its bad timing for you and your new boyfriend but its just chemistry baby." I rolled my eyes knowing the quote well. He used it on me before.

"Chemistry my ass. I'm not interested in a pissing match between you and Ethan."

"Then what exactly are you interested in Bren? I'm here…I'm here because of you. The balls in your court."

Calming down a little I walked over planting myself next to him on the couch, "It's not that easy Dylan. We cant just jump back into this. You're not ready."

"Not ready? Brenda please I've been in love with you since I was 16 years old. Two years ago we were back together. I had every intention of trying this again with you. You just came here to live your dream. I"m not mad about it its just the way it was. But here we are again. Your first year in London was so hard for me, I spiraled out of control and I'm sorry if I want to take advantage of being here with you again. I missed you." His eyes burned a hole in mine. His stare was so intense and loving.

"Tell me about Toni." I swallowed hard.

He exhaled and looked down, "What do you want to know Brenda? I met a girl, we got married and now she's dead." he was annoyed.

"But you loved her, what was she like, I want to know about her?" My voice broke.

He took a deep breath calming himself and sat back on the couch. He sat silent for a minute, visibly swallowing before meeting my eyes again. "Toni was an amazing woman. She understood me, she was beautiful and fun. It was hard not to like her. She drew me in quickly, intrigued me and made me feel important again."

"You didn't feel important before?" I asked sad and moved by his words.

He gave me a sad smile, "Not since you." he admitted. "I did love her though you're right."

I looked down the sadness and realization hitting me, I was jealous, which was silly. I closed me eyes feeling his finger on my chin raising it to look at him. "Look at me Brenda, I love you too. I always loved you and the truth is, I barely knew her." He reassured me. "You weren't ever out of my mind Bren, you were just gone. I'm sorry I fell in love and I'm sorry I married someone else. I wish that I had gotten to know her better, that she didn't lose her life but the truth is she's gone. I can't bring her back. The only thing I know is I liked who I was when I was with her, just like I like who I am when I'm with you. The things I loved about her are the same things I love about you."

"She sounds incredible." I said tears in my eyes.

"You're incredible Bren. You opened up your home to me. When this all happened I couldn't imagine anyone else I wanted to be with. I needed you to make me feel in my heart that it would be okay. You're my best friend Bren. My best friend my lover and you're my family. People say things happen for a reason and maybe this is the reason. To find each other again, away from the drama of Beverly Hills, away from everyone. Whatever happened it always came back to you. I love you, I will always love you."

In that moment I didn't need to hear another word. I moved in quickly straddling his lap. I kissed him with fierceness and longing. The pinned sexual frustration and time apart flowing evident between us. We groped each other, we couldn't get close enough. We needed each other. Without thought I felt myself being carried into my bedroom. We hadn't came up for air as my back hit the bed. Dylan kissed me with the passion I remembered so clearly now. He trailed kisses down my neck, my chest, my whole body feeling the heat. Our clothes now a pile on the floor. He entered me in a slowly painful thrust, hot lips on my skin and I was home again.

 _Whew that was hot yes? Intense? So Brenda and Dylan? Tell me what your thinking. Here is the song that was playing at the club. I went a little crazy on billboards top 100 songs of 1996 but I wanted the passion to come through. The lyrics at the beginning are this song. Different that the poems Ive been posting. I wanted there to be a way to connect to them and what better way than with music. Have a listen while reading. It's a hot song HAHA. REVIEW!_

youtu. be / HLJ- Cp2 2JJo (take out the spaces) or just youtube Paula Cole Feelin Love. DO IT!

 _BTW Desdemona is a character in William Shakespeare's play Othello. Shakespeare's Desdemona is a Venetian beauty who enrages and disappoints her father, a Venetian senator, when she elopes with Othello. Ironic huh HEHEHE! Oh Jim!_


	5. Chapter 5

_I'm glad you guys are liking this story so far. I have thought about doing this for so long. Thank you for the reviews. I live for getting those emails telling me one has been added. Just to go over a few things. This is the 3 years Brenda and Dylan were together in London off camera. The beginning is the same, he still married Toni, he still struggled in season 5. I personally didn't mind the Toni Dylan story line I know some BD fans hated it. I apologize but it is what it is, he fell for Toni and married her but she died. They also didn't have a long relationship either. It was like 5 episodes at most LOL Dylan met Toni at school (Septemberish) when trying to find a male tony to find she was a girl. They spent halloween together, then got married and she died. Luke was off 90210 before Thanksgiving, so this is about that time. The gang doesn't find out that Dylan and Brenda are together until Steve's bday party in May. That will stay the same. In my mind they are together this whole time they just don't share it with the others until then. In all honesty I don't picture Dylan and Brenda reuniting in May, announcing they are living together all quickly like that. I feel like its more in character they hooked up like this and it took them and the comfort of those months before breaking the news to the gang. Hope that helps with the timeline. If I messed up please let me know, its been ages since I watched those later episodes. Stay with me, Dylan and Brenda are going to be fluffy and amazing. I wont say it will be perfect though. Lets just say Dylan will see Brenda has done pretty ok without him in London. But all will be ok :) Thanks again._

 _ **Chapter 5**_

 _ **I Loved You First**_

I loved you first: but afterwards your love

Outsoaring mine, sang such a loftier song

As drowned the friendly cooings of my dove.

Which owes the other most? my love was long,

And yours one moment seemed to wax more strong;

I loved and guessed at you, you construed me

And loved me for what might or might not be –

Nay, weights and measures do us both a wrong.

For verily love knows not 'mine' or 'thine;'

With separate 'I' and 'thou' free love has done,

For one is both and both are one in love:

Rich love knows nought of 'thine that is not mine;'

Both have the strength and both the length thereof,

Both of us, of the love which makes us one.

CHRISTINA ROSSETTI

I wrapped my arms tighter around her body. My naked chest against her back. She shifted as if trying to get closer too. Her ample back end against my morning wood. I shifted rubbing against her. The friction felt nice but in return got stiffer. She moaned and giggled causing me to chuckle.

"I see you're awake." she murmured, her voice thick with sleep.

I smiled against her shoulder blades, "Well he is that's for sure." I rubbed against her again.

She turned still in my arms so she faced me, "Good morning." She whispered.

"It IS a good morning, isn't it?" I smirked and brought my lips to hers. Her lips soft and hungry she opened gently allowing my access to her sweet tongue. Touching mine gently to hers I received the most erotic moan from her. My hands grabbing her back bringing her against me. Leaning out I smiled and placed a soft peck on her forehead.

"Can we stay in bed all day?" I whispered as my hand felt her chest. I squeezed gently rubbing my thumb against her hardening nipple. She moaned again. I smiled enjoying that I was effecting her.

She sighed, "I was going to say no but never mind…the bed is where we will stay forever." She captured my lips again with a smile. Things started to heat up and I was frustrated when her phone rang.

"Don't get it." I murmured against her lips wanting to handle this morning wood problem and pleasing her need as well. We continued when it finally stopped, then rang again.

"Uhhhhh." she frowned reaching for it. "Hello." she said annoyed.

"Oh hey, Ethan…yeah I'm awake." She pulled away from me and sat up.

"Oh that's what happened. Yeah Dylan and I left shortly after, no its ok. uh huh."

I rolled my eyes, I knew she had to handle Ethan but I wanted her for myself. I reached up and grabbed her revealed breast again, she pulled away and gave me a look. I smirked and ran my hand softly down her arm, then up to her neck as she locked eyes with me. She mouthed stop and I knew she was serious by her expression.

"Ok…yeah noon. Sure. No I'll meet you there…" she sighed, "Fine we'll meet here 12…see you then." She reached over putting the phone on the receiver. "Fuck." she whispered.

"What did he want?" I asked continuing my grope.

"Dylan…stop for a second geez." shit she was frustrated.

"He was just explaining why they all took off. He said they couldn't find us quick enough and that Eric had gotten into an argument with some guy getting too friendly with Laura, they were escorted out. He wants to meet me for coffee at noon." She rubbed her hand down her face exasperated.

I took a deep breath, "And you're going go?" my tone more jealous than I wanted to show.

She looked at me surprised, "Of course I'm going to go."

"What about us?"

"What about us Dylan, I need to talk to him. It's not like we won't see each other again. We're dating each other. We are doing a play next month. I owe him some kind of explanation."

"So…does that mean you're going to tell him about us?" please don't tell me this was just a one night thing. I didn't think I could handle being so close to finally getting her back. And damn it what play? She looked at me, her eyes staring into mine.

"Is that what you want me to do?" She asked seriously.

I pursed my lips and sat up, my shoulder hitting hers. I looked over at her bringing my hand to her cheek, "This wasn't a one night thing for me Bren, I meant every word that I said to you last night."

She looked down before meeting my gaze again, "I love you…I do…you know I do. I'm just scared. Losing you was the hardest thing I ever had to go through and something is telling me this is just too soon." Her eyes pleading with mine.

I shook my head, "Brenda…how can it be too soon? This is our time. We have both been waiting for this for four years. At least I have." I realized maybe this little fantasy I had of having another chance with Brenda was maybe one sided.

"Dylan…you just lost your wife."

"Bren…I want to be with you. I came here for you and only you. Just think, being here in London, away from our friends, you know how amazing this could be?" I circled my arms around her tiny waist.

She took a deep breath and exhaled, she looked at me and gave me a soft smile. "Yeah…I know it would be amazing…it already is." She whispered grazing her hand upon my cheek.

My hand reached the back of her neck pulling her to me. Our lips connecting in a hot needy kiss. "Come back to me Bren, let me prove to you I'm ready for this." I whispered against her lips.

She responded by bringing her leg around my lap, straddling me. She deeply kissed me, grinding her naked heat against my tamed hard on. "I love you." I whispered between kisses.

"I love you too." She said softly. She pulled away looking into my eyes, "If things get too much, promise you'll talk to me. Promise me Dylan. A new start?"

I looked lovingly into her eyes, I needed her to see that this is exactly what I wanted. "I promise you." Both hands cupped her face, "A new start…just me and you."

She nodded with a smile and kissed me again. She finally let me have my way with her and my morning wood problem solved…for now anyway. I made sure that Brenda was nicely taken care of before her meeting with Ethan. I shouldn't be worried, Brenda was my girl, she had always been. I still wasn't thrilled with the idea but I had to let her handle her situation without involvement.

I watched Brenda get ready to meet Ethan. She didn't gussy herself up but she was quiet and looked beautiful without trying. Brenda tried to meet him at the coffee shop but Ethan insisted on meeting her at the apartment. I had moved my stuff into the bedroom, since before our reunion I had been accompanying the couch. I watched her, she seemed nervous.

"What are you going to say to him?" I asked nonchalantly. I normally wasn't a need to know kind of guy but being here in this strange place with Brenda after all these years, something pulled at my insecurity. I wanted this to work out. Even though I had the impression Ethan and Brenda were just dating and not in love or all that serious, she had made a life without me here. I guess I was sort of worried he had more charm and hold on her then I did. He'd been friends and more with Brenda the last two years where I hadn't.

She sighed joining me on the couch, "The truth." she smirked a sexy closed mouth smile at me, "Are you worried?"

I smirked back and shrugged, "No." she laughed knowing I was lying.

"Dylan, you know I'm an honest person. If we are going to try this again I have to be honest with him. I'll be back in a couple of hours, you want to do something? Just me and you?"

I nodded and leaned in kissing her softly. Things were heading toward full on couch make out which I hadn't done with her in so long when the door bell rang.

She smiled mid kiss, "To be continued." she added getting up to retrieve the door. I took a deep breath to rein in my need for her. Was it always like this. I guess it was but we were different, older less inhibited. I watched her open the door.

"Hey Ethan." she greeted him.

"Brenda, you look lovely" He leaned in for a kiss. His lips hit her cheek as she turned towards me. He eyed her worried and then looked at me.

"Hiya Dylan, nice to see you again." his tone dripped with fake undertone.

"Ethan. How you doing?" I tried to be a nice guy. It wasn't his fault he was about to get dumped.

"Brilliant!" he responded…overconfident.

I nodded, "Well you two have fun." I said sarcastically, alright so the real asshole in me came out. Brenda looked at me and rolled her eyes.

Ethan moved his arm tightly around her, "Oh we will." he responded arrogant. Poor bastard.

Brenda cleared her throat, "Well…we should go." she said uncomfortable. Unspoken piss match it was after all.

They left silently after that. I wondered how things were going to be. With that guy around and Brenda and me. Them doing a play together in a month? I'd have to ask her about that. I wasn't typically a jealous guy but I had waited way to long to get another fresh start with Brenda. Without the drama of LA or the dreaded triangle. I wasn't going to put up with the same old story here in this town. I loved her first. Oh to be a fly on the wall in that coffee shop. I sighed and grabbed a book, it was going to be a long couple of hours.

 _Sooo what do you think? Next up you have an in to the Ethan/Brenda coffee break up. How do you think he's going to take it? After everything Dylan has been through, now in London, do you think he will be the same guy? More clingy? More loner? Tell me what you're thinking!_


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

 _The Truth Will Set You Free_

 _It ended, and the morrow brought the task._

 _Her eyes were guilty gates, that let him in_

 _By shutting all too zealous for their sin:_

 _Each sucked a secret, and each wore a mask._

 _But, oh, the bitter taste her beauty had._

 _George Meredith_

I followed Ethan closely behind as we entered the coffee shop. He picked a table near the window and took my coat as I sat down. I smiled as he connected with his seat. A waitress came over quickly and took our orders. I rested my hands folding them around each other on top of the table. Ethan brought his hands to mine and held them.

"I'm sorry I left last night."

"I know, its ok, it wasn't like I was alone."

Ethan nodded disapprovingly, "Yeah you had Dylan right." his tone was so obvious in his jealousy.

"Ethan." Brenda took a deep breath. "I never meant for him to come back. Im sorry you are feeling like this. It was obvious all night that this is upsetting you and I guess with seeing Dylan again I hadn't thought out how hard this may be for you."

Ethan smiled, "I know Brenda…you know I just get this feeling that this coffee date is something else. Tell me sweetie, are you leaving me?" He came out and asked to my surprise I wasn't expecting it. Tears filled my eyes quickly. I didn't like hurting people.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

Ethan nodded and then looked up at the ceiling before meeting his eyes with mine. "I'm sorry with the way I behaved. It wasn't like me to be rude to him." he took a deep breath and continued, "I've known you for a couple years Brenda and I have never seen you look at me or any one the way you look at him. If you weren't going to break up with me today, I was going to break up with you. I've seen you with men before. When I was single and you were with someone. You've never had that with anyone but him."

I closed my eyes, I knew I liked Ethan for a reason and he was so perceptive. He continued on, "I don't like him…I'll be honest. I think he's a wanker. He has a dodgy attitude…" I opened my mouth to stop him, "But…I can see he loves you. Just promise me Brenda, you will ask questions, get some answers to why he treated you the way he did? I know we just started dating but I had waited years for the right time to get together with you. Seeing you now, I see the guilt written in your eyes. You wouldn't be able to give me your heart because he has a hold of it already. It isn't fair to you…to me, to another bloke you date." He laughed and I did too. "You need to figure this out. And I'm still here as a friend. I'll always be your friend." He reassured me. I was touched, I was scared and nervous but I had said two words the whole time.

"I promise Ethan and thank you. I need your friendship and I love working with you. I wouldn't want this to come between us. I do need to figure this out. And the truth is, Dylan has always been the most important man in my life under my father. And even then they times they were head to head." I laughed, "Thank you. Thank you for understanding." I murmured.

We continued and drank our coffee. We ordered something to share and ate and caught up. The truth was I hadn't spent much time with any of my new friends much since Dylan came into town. We talked about our upcoming play, our tour in 6 months, also the upcoming holidays. I was relieved that things seemed to be pointing in the direction of being okay. At least with this new life I had. The old one that was coming back in was the scary part.

After saying goodbye to Ethan at the coffee shop I walked around. I thought about what the return of Dylan McKay meant. I was afraid it was too soon. He seemed so great though. Affectionate and caring. He wasn't keeping to himself or he didn't seem like he was in a bad place. Dylan did have a point. It would be amazing if it worked out, being here in London and not LA. I mean we were far from over. Me leaving Beverly Hills the way I did, closed the door on us but it was always there, it was never locked. Then finding out from Brandon he was getting married. I had to be honest with myself. It bothered me that he did get married to her but there was something in my heart that I held on too. It should have tore me apart but it didn't. I guess I truly believed he maybe was with her because I wasn't there. Silly maybe. I would find out though. I wasn't going to put myself out there to be hurt by him again without knowing more. Ethan was right. There were questions. I walked around for 4 hours. It was starting to get dark. I made my way up to my apartment exhausted from the walk and the thinking. All I wanted was a nice bath, maybe a glass of wine. I set my key in the lock, it clicked unlocking. Slowly pushing open my door I locked eyes with a worried Dylan McKay.

He shook his head, "Where the hell have you been?" his tone hard. "I've been worried sick about you."

I took my coat off laying it on the chair, "I'm fine Dylan…I was walking…thinking."

"Alone?" now it made sense. Jealous Dylan, was not shy. He didn't come out much but when he did, he made it very known.

I sighed not wanting to fight, "Yes alone."

Dylan calmed down a bit, "How did coffee go with Ethan?" his tone still hard though.

"It went weirdly well." I commented, "I didn't really have to say much."

Dylan looked at me oddly so I continued, "He knew it was coming. He saw it last night. He said if I wasn't going to break up with him today he would have broken up with me."

Dylan eyes went wide in surprise, "Wow…and you're ok? You've been gone for a long time Bren. I don't know this town like you do. I've been sitting here climbing the walls wondering if something bad happened to you."

I laughed, "Like what…you were afraid I was off at Ethan's or something changing my mind." I joked yet Dylan stayed serious.

He moved quickly taking his hands and resting them on the top of my arms, he looked at me with the most serious expression, "If anything happened to you…" he paused so visibly upset that I felt guilty. "I don't know what I would do." he whispered out. My hand went to his cheek, he leaned into it.

"I'm fine baby. It's okay." I reassured him taking him into my arms. He started crying and I was set bak. I hadn't seen this side of Dylan since we were kids. I let him have it out, tears filling my eyes in seeing him like this, he finally let go of me. I looked sadly into his eyes and wiped a stray tear from his cheek.

He took a deep breath and held my hand, "I need to tell you something." he said softly. He pulled me to the couch sitting as I joined him. We sat close and I just listened.

He swallowed hard and began, "I'm sorry I'm so upset. I just cant imagine losing you. It was my fault Toni is dead." I went to hush him but he stopped me, "You know…the way we began was so strange. I was on a mission to find out who killed my dad. I knew about Anthony Marchette and I also did a little research that he had a kid that attended California University. Come to find out Toni Marchette was a she, not a he. I started pursuing her in hopes to get closer to her father, to find the truth and to get revenge on who killed Jack. I was so lost back then, I didn't quite know then but looking back on just a few months ago I was so blind. You're brother knew, he questioned my motives a few times. But I did I fall with her. She made me feel like you do. I was always a better person when I was with you Bren, Toni too. She was understanding and sweet. She was just like you. And the truth is I was always a loner but I don't do well alone if that makes sense. We found out that her father was responsible for Jack's death and we had planned to leave LA and share a life together, we found comfort in each other. Then that bullet that was meant for me hit her. She would still be alive if it wasn't for me."

"You didn't kill Toni Dylan, her father did. There shouldn't have been a bullet to begin with. Don't you know, he's the bad guy, not you." I whispered.

Dylan nodded taking it in. "I'm sorry I didn't have the balls to tell you I was getting married."

Here it was, I didn't have to bring it up after all, "Why couldn't you Dylan, I thought we were friends?"

His hand found my cheek and he exhaled, "God Brenda you are my friend but you were so much more than that. I didn't have guts or the heart to tell you because…" he paused. My hand found his head, my fingers running through his hair urging him to continue. "I didn't have the heart to tell you because it would have broken both our hearts and I couldn't say goodbye, I wasn't ready too. I don't know if I would have gone through with it and Toni and I had made plans. I knew I loved her but something told me if you were there I wouldn't have been with her to begin with." My heart stopped beating for a moment. Air left my lungs I didn't know I was holding in.

"Really?" I breathed out again.

Dylan nodded. He leaned in and gently kissed my lips. The kiss wasn't heated just a gentle affection of love and understanding.

"When you were gone for those hours, I just kept thinking about if something like what had happened to Toni happened to you, I don't know if I could live anymore. When I first was dating Toni I thought we were all too Romeo and Juliet."

I looked at him mocking hurt, "I thought I was your Juliet?"

He chuckled, "Well…I guess you are because here I am, Toni is gone and I'm still here…with you. But if something like that happened to you Bren. I don't think I would be." he was dead serious.

I curled into his embrace, cuddling closely to him. "Why is it never easy with us Bren?" he asked calmly exhaling.

I looked up into his eyes, "Because a love like ours, isn't suppose to be easy Dylan. It's hard work. When two people love each other as much we do things can't be perfect."

I laid my head on his chest and sighed. I closed my eyes taking the day in feeling his gentle hand caress my side.

"This is pretty close." he whispered so low I almost missed it. I felt a gentle kiss on the top of my head. He was right…it sure as hell felt pretty damn perfect this time.

 _Soooooo there it is. Was it what you thought? How bout Ethan, nice guy right? There is a lot of story left but I think its safe to say Dylan and Brenda are together. There will be ups and downs but its going to be good. Stay with me and tell me how you are feeling. To those of you that think this is going to fast. I get it. Don't worry. They have stuff to learn again, new memories to make, things will come up. They'll be a little flawed but all in good ways. Have faith my friends. You know I adore this couple. Hit review! Oh and the holidays are coming. If you have accounts i will try to respond to your reviews as well with a little spoiler action LOL_


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

 _Thank you._

 _You have shown me the way_

 _back to myself._

 _Charles Baudelaire_

I moaned, stretching slightly. My eyes closed, I reached for her like I had been doing every morning since moving in. My hand touched the cold sheets as one eye opened. Propping my self on my elbows I looked at the clock. 7:15 am, that was weird since living here with Brenda we hadn't gotten out of bed earlier than 10am or sometimes later if I had my way. I inhaled as the savory decadent smell hit my senses. It instantly made my stomach growl. Peeling myself out of bed, putting on some clothes I wandered out of the bedroom in search of her. I followed the scent, it smelled so amazing. I stopped in the arch way of the kitchen and admired the scene in front of me. Brenda swayed her hips, her back towards me. The soft rock quietly filling the kitchen. I smirked and leaned against the door way. My head tilting side commending my view. She danced around unaware of my presence in nothing but one of my button downs, singing with the words. She actually had a good voice. My eyes following her frame, the shirt riding higher as she danced about giving me the most perfect shot of her barely covered ass.

"What cha making?" I said softly causing her to jump to face me.

She leaned over turning the radio lower, "How long have you been standing there?" she said embarrassed.

I stalked forward like a cat hunting my prey. Standing in front of her my hands went straight to her waist as my eyes followed her figure again. I pulled her against me, my newly received bulge hard against her stomach. "Long enough for that to happen."

She blushed a gorgeous shade of pink and leaned in and kissed me hard.

She pulled away playfully, "Well that doesn't take long to happen with you these days." she joked.

She was right, I was a bit insatiable lately. I couldn't help it. Everything this woman did drove me crazy and she looked so sexy in my shirt. I was beginning to feel like a 16 year old boy with a walking hard on these days. I shrugged playfully knowing she was right. As she walked toward the stove I slapped her ass. She giggled continuing to reach for a mug in the cupboard.

"So…this doesn't smell like eggs and bacon, what are you up too this early? You missed your morning wake up." I sat on the counter stool facing her.

She smiled and continued to put a cup of coffee in front of me. "Do you know what day it is?"

I reached for the much needed cup taking it to my lips, "Thursday. Thanks by the way." I said referring to my coffee taking a sip.

Brenda tilted her head and smiled, "It's Thanksgiving." she gleamed.

"Thanksgiving…Bren…we're in London, no one celebrates Thanksgiving here."

"I know that…but we are."

I nodded, "Of course we are." Typical Brenda.

"It smells fantastic, how long have you been up?"

"I started the turkey an hour ago should be ready by noon."

I instantly worried she may be inviting people over. "Who's coming over?" I asked honestly.

She smiled at me, "No one. It's just us. I thought maybe we could spend Thanksgiving together." She paused for a moment as her smile faded, "Can I talk to you about something?"

I set down my coffee mug and nodded, looking into her eyes, "Of course."

She moved around the kitchen counter sitting in the stool next to me. I instantly had to touch her as I moved a piece of her now darker raven color hair behind her ear.

"Brandon called me little bit ago..to say Happy Thanksgiving." she looked down nervous.

"How is Brandon?" remembering the last time I saw him.

"He's good, he's seeing some girl named Susan, which maybe you know already. Valerie is attempting to make Thanksgiving dinner for them at the house but Brandon said something about David's mom butting in. I guess the gang is all over there, Donna and her boyfriend Joe, Valerie and David, Steve…Claire, Kelly…" she paused. Oh Bren please. She was obvious in her slip of the dreaded K word.

I smirked knowing she was stopping herself, "Is Kelly's boyfriend Colin going too?" I responded knowingly taking a sip of my coffee. She had to know Kelly and I were history.

She smiled back knowing exactly what I was doing, "No he's in New York, I guess Susan is away too. Brandon was talking about Kelly, feelings and sorts."

I nodded slowly, "Well…you know when the cat is away…"

She glared at me, "I know that song." she replied getting up with a playful huff.

"Oh no you don't." My arms reached around her pulling her into my lap. My mouth attacking her neck with wet kisses as I sucked along it. "What's this about baby?"

She took a deep breath turning her head towards mine now that I was gazing at her, "I didn't tell Brandon you were here…I just think its better if…we keep it to ourselves right now, is that ok?"

I looked at her, was she feeling badly? "Yeah that's ok. I don't care either way. It's not a secret where I am."

"No I know, but." she exhaled, "I just want it to be ours for awhile. It's not that I don't want anyone to know…you know?"

I smirked and nodded "I do know and whatever you want to do, is fine. I like the idea of this being just us…ours for awhile." I said truthfully. Once she told Brandon, it would only be a matter of time before everyone knew and not that it was a bad thing, but she was right. It was ours and I really did like the sound of that.

She smiled leaning in and taking my lips to hers, relief evident in her kiss. Quickly I moved my hands under her butt lifting her easily and setting her on the counter. She spread her legs allowing me to slide between them. I deepened the kiss with a groan noticing the counter was the perfect height as my prominent erection hit her in between her thighs. Kissing her fiercely my hands began unbuttoning my jeans I had thrown on. They fell with a thud as they hit the floor. My fingers found the thin strap of her panties, pulling them slowly down, she raised her butt one side at a time as they were freed to her ankles. Grabbing them in a ball I tossed them to the floor where they joined my pants. I went in and kissed her again, tasting her tongue mix with mine. I quickly started unbuttoning the shirt, opening it so I can get a view of her breasts. Lining myself up by my hand I pushed forward slowly. Her head fell back as I entered her. She giggled and I smiled, knowing what she was thinking. This was a different Thanksgiving for both of us. I fully intended to make love to her on every inch of that apartment. This morning we were taking care of the kitchen counter. Soon to follow hopefully the dining room table.

Brenda was right, the turkey was done at noon. We enjoyed our thanksgiving. I had no idea Brenda was quite a cook, she reminded me of her mother. She brought out all the fixings, turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, dinner rolls, cranberry sauce and yams. She cooked enough for an army, we would be eating leftovers for a week. Honestly I liked London, from visiting when I was younger to now. It was a great city. Full of things to do, culture and different types of people. The one thing that I truly missed was some good food. There were a couple good places around the apartment but this home cooked meal was a blessing.

I wiped my mouth with my napkin and leaned back resting my hand on my stomach, "Well Bren…you out did yourself. Best Thanksgiving I've had in a long time."

She smiled, "Well…thank you."

"What do you say tomorrow, we make plans. Leave to me, I'll plan something romantic and fun. We'll get out of this apartment for a while, we've been meaning to?"

She got up and started clearing the table, "Yeah…we'll see. I have a meet up tomorrow for the upcoming play. About the run of the show and the tour that follows in a few months but after that I'm all yours. Sometimes they can take awhile though." She walked a few dishes into the kitchen. I had been meaning to ask her about the play and this so called tour. Maybe now was a good time. I got up taking the rest of the plates and dishes to the kitchen and set them down besides where she had started the water to do the dishes.

"So…what play are you working on?"

"Spring Awakening." She continued on the dishes.

"Isn't that play about sex?" Great…. "And you play which character?"

"Not sex really, sexual discovery maybe." She looked at me and smiled. "I'm playing Wendla." She was the lead.

"And who else is in it?" I was trying to be aloof about it…it wasn't working.

She looked at me curiously, she shut off the water from the sink and dried her hands quickly with a dish towel. After setting it down on the counter she placed her hand on her hip.

"What do you mean?" The silence thick in the air without the water buffer.

"Um like who of your friends are in it?"

She smirked, "Eric is in it, he plays Moritz, Um Laura plays my mother, and Angie plays my sister". I ran through a short list of people he knew.

"Ethan? He is in the play?"

She smiled wide, "Yep." she said with a nod and turned back to the sink turning on the water.

I walked over and gently moved the water to off. "And…which part does he have?"

Brenda turned smirking as she shook her head. "Dylan, come on. It's a play."

I knew it was being dumb, I thought theater guys were suppose to be gay, what the hell? I stared at her trying to think of the smart thing to say, not the jealous thing.

She laughed, "Dylan its like one make out scene and a pretend sex scene. You know my character dies right." she continued to giggle.

"I actually saw that play on Broadway years ago, it's a pretty graphic scene, I'm just surprised they would do it as a college play, thats all."

"Actually it's not a college play. It's actually running for a month at Theatre Royal, Drury Lane.3rd year students don't spend much time in the classroom. We will be touring with it after that, I know Scotland is on the itinerary." I took a deep breath. Lovely.

She cupped my face with both hands, "Dylan…stop or you'll drive yourself crazy. This is my job."

I exhaled knowing I was being stupid. "I know…just…the thought of you guys doing intimate scenes and traveling together…I mean what if the roles were reversed? What if I was kissing and faking love scenes with someone I was dating up until a week ago? Then I was traveling with her?"

Brenda's hands fell and she wrapped them tightly around my waist, "You're right…I would feel the same." She leaned up pressing her lips to mine. She smiled mid kiss, "I guess I'm lucky I'm not in love with an actor." She giggled. She was being a smart ass. In that moment I bend down quickly scooping her over my shoulder as I smacked her butt. She was going to get punished for making fun of me. I needed to stop this jealous boyfriend act or I would lose her. I knew Brenda didn't find this type of behavior funny or cute. Also she was right this was her profession. There was going to be a lot of plays and a lot of actor friends she'd have intimate or romantic scenes with. Laying Brenda on her bed I got lost in her. Enjoying every inch of her. This had been the best Thanksgiving I have ever had. Who would have thought after the couple months I had, I would have something to be thankful for. I would rein in my jealousy for now, I had too much to lose. My mind went off of Ethan and Brenda's sex/rape scene and back to the real life thing that was laying half naked in front of me. I honestly thought I was ready to settle down with Toni, but being here with Brenda, like this, living together, having this adult relationship with her was more than I dreamed of. It was more than I ever imagined. When we were younger, our relationship was so intense and so grown up at the same time. Now it was ok to feel the things we felt, it was ok to satisfy the physical need when ever we wanted. Coming here was beginning to be the best decision I've ever made. I'd worry about Scotland later.

 _So a little introduction of one of the issues Dylan will be dealing with. It's natural I would guess. What did you think? The first sex scene we actually got to sort of read about. Press review you guys have been so amazing._


	8. Chapter 8

_A little something before you start reading, there is a section in here that Brenda is rehearsing her play. Her character is Wendla and Ethan is Melchoir. Just remember when reading the dialogue. Ok here it is, chapter 8. Enjoy!_

 _Chapter 8_

 _How much are they deceived who vainly strive,_

 _By jealous fears, to keep our flames alive?_

 _Love's like a torch, which if secured from blasts,_

 _Will faintlier burn; but then it longer lasts._

 _Exposed to storms of jealousy and doubt,_

 _The blaze grows greater, but 'tis sooner out._

 _William Walsh_

Thanksgiving had turned out to be an amazing day. I got up early and cooked, Dylan and I made love more times than truly necessary and the food came out great. I was pleasantly surprised that so far we had moved into a relationship quite easily given the time we had been apart. Our relationship felt different this time. Different because it felt as though there wasn't anything standing in its way. The feelings were always there and never a problem but it had seemed like obstacle after obstacle showed up. Always testing us, like fate was making sure we knew what we were getting ourselves into. We'd get to the top then the bottom would fall out from us. That's why I was a little worried, things had been going so well. Communication was open, we shared everything. The intimacy was beyond perfect. We were in sync, it probably helped we were always in the mood but still the sex was fantastic. Better than I even remembered when we were kids. Something had to give right? I mean no relationship was perfect. I kept telling myself maybe the tough stuff Dylan and I had been through was done and maybe this was our time to really connect farther. Maybe this was it. The relationship and life I was suppose to have. I walked to the theater for the meet up and was instantly bombarded from my friends.

"Holy shit…have you left your bedroom long enough to see the light of day?" joked Laura. I had chatted with her on the phone, she knew about Dylan and I being back together. She actually knew before I told her considering Ethan had shared it with Eric.

"Ha ha Laura…jealous?" I laughed.

Her eyebrows shot up, "Yeah maybe." she let out a laugh, "I mean Eric and I hadn't spent a whole day in bed in god knows how long. We are practically an old married couple."

"You guys are fine…I'm sure."

I had to live the beginning of the Eric…Laura romance from the start. I was her roommate we shared a freaking wall. They were soul mates.

"Yeah…I'll keep him." She winked as he approached us. He greeted her with a sweet kiss.

"Hello my girl." he whispered, continuing the kiss. Yeah they were fine.

"Brenda…you're alive and dressed?" he smiled at me.

I rolled my eyes pointing at them, "You know you guys are like a married couple…you even share the same brain." They laughed.

I made my way into the theater further, Laura and Eric following me. We climbed the stage steps where people had began to take seats that were set up in a circle. Ethan approached me.

"Hiya Brenda…long time no see." He leaned in giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey Ethan…I know sorry." Not really getting into why I had been MIA. Can't a girl just bond with her lost long love of her life…geez.

An awkward silence hit us and I was grateful when Aaron Meyers our director came from stage left.

"Hello everyone, take your seats. Cody is passing out the schedule packets. Rehearsals start now. As you know we will run the play here for a month and then start the tour. We have added 3 countries to our itinerary and be prepared to be away from home for 2 months. Opening night is in 3 weeks." Crap I thought as I looked over the itinerary. London one month, Switzerland, Sweden and Scotland. All separated by a few weeks. I would be gone from mid January until the end of March away from Dylan. Aaron spoke up again.

"I would like to read through the script." I hadn't known this was going to be a rehearsal but I went with it.

"Brenda…how do you feel about nudity?" He asked innocently in front of the whole cast.

"Uh…what do you mean?" a little set back.

"Well in the end of Act 1 when Wendla and Melchoir are having their moment. He touches her breast. He also takes off her dress. Now I'm thinking maybe just the top, would you be opposed to showing your breasts?" he was dead serious.

I looked around the group, "Ah…I guess not. " I said softly. I mean I really didn't mind, I didn't know what was making me feel so weird about it. I looked at Ethan who in exchange winked at me then wiggled his eyebrows. Oh great…this guy.

"Let me show you what I mean. Brenda and Ethan take it from the kiss when Wendla pushes him away."

The cast started moving the chairs and I sat on the pretend hay stack joined by Ethan. He sat in front of me and leaned in and kisses me. I push him back.

"Melchoir, no…it just…it's."

"What? Sinful?"

"No…I don't know…"

"Then why? Because it's good?"

I look at him debating.

"Because it makes us feel something." Melchoir says softly.

I consider, then suddenly I reach out and pull Melchoir to me. I kiss him. He holds me close then gently lies me on my back. Here we are completely making out as the boys and girls in the play chant their lines.

Melchoir's hand feels up my side, "Don't be scared." He said in a hushed whisper.

I hesitate, then nod. Melchior kisses me with passion and touches my right breast. He squeezes softly.

"No." I say emotional.

"Please." he begs.

"Don't it…"

"What?" He releases my breast.

After a beat, I take his hand and place it back on my breast. The chorus of boys and girls chant again. I'm wearing a button down shirt. Ethan without direction begins unbuttoning my shirt. We get lost in the acting. We're kissing, exploring. He reveals my right bra covered breast showing the cast. His hand follows down my thigh, then up the inside of it. I'm wondering how far Ethan will go with this, it just being a run through. His fingers graze my jean covered center tickling it.

"Perfect!" Aaron yells! "Yes like that…but instead of a bra you will bare your breast. Is that okay?"

We sat up quickly, as I came back to the theater, not sure where exactly my mind went for that moment. "Yeah…yeah it's okay." I stuttered.

"Ethan and Brenda brilliant work. You two have such chemistry…fire." He smiled. I swallowed hard and looked at Ethan. His fingers grazed my cheek softly, as he winked.

The rehearsal was over after that and I gathered my things in silence. I didn't even wait to chat with my friends as I walked out into the street. I looked up surprised as I saw Dylan, leaning against the railing outside the theater. His arms crossed and a picnic basket sat on the wall next to him.

"Dylan!" I said surprised.

His eyes bore into mine. At that moment I knew he had witnessed that part of the rehearsal. I walked closer to him, hesitating. I took a deep breath, not wanting to get into this now. I looked at the picnic basket, trying to lighten the mood, "What's all this?"

He didn't look into my eyes again, "I made a picnic, with turkey sandwich leftovers. I thought we could take a walk, have some lunch in the park…" his voice lower at the end. "I wanted to surprise you…"

I smiled and walked closer to him. I was surprised, pleasantly surprised. I lifted my hand to touch his face and he backed away from my touch. "Dylan…?" I almost begged. At that moment I don't know whether I was happy at the interruption or annoyed.

"Dylan!" Laura came out of the theater, "Long time no see."

Dylan looked at her and smiled, "Good to see you Laura."

Laura came up standing next to me, she looked at the picnic basket, "Awwww are you guys doing something disgustingly romantic?" Eric joined us. "Why don't you do things like that for me." She huffed and hit him in the stomach gently. He laughed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Thanks a lot Dylan." he joked.

Dylan chuckled but it sounded forced. It wasn't his normal laugh, they didn't catch on, not knowing him like I did.

There was an awkward silence for a second and then Ethan made himself known. Kill me.

"Dylan…hey man. Nice to see you." he was being nice yet his voice dripped with sarcastic undertone and ego.

Dylan nodded and was obvious in being bothered. He didn't say a word.

"Well…we'll see you guys later. Dylan? You ready?" I needed to get us out of here. I felt the vibration of anger seeping out of Dylan as Ethan stood close to me. Dylan stared at Ethan causing Ethan to nervously laugh and look down. I grabbed Dylan's hand, "Baby…lets go." I gently pulled on his hand as Dylan locked eyes with me. It was almost as if he had zoned out and my touch brought him back. He followed close behind me picking up the basket. I heard Laura comment, "What was that about?" as we got farther and farther away. I kept a hold of Dylan's hand on the way to the park. Dylan didn't say a word. He barely made eye contact with me. I picked a spot under the tree turning to face Dylan. He didn't move. I exhaled and took the blanket spreading it out on the grass, reaching for the basket and setting it down. I stared at him, why wasn't he talking to me?

"Are you going to ignore me the whole time?" I said with irritation.

Dylan finally met my eyes and said nothing. He looked pissed…sad and I almost had to look away because it was too much. Then anger came over me. This was ridiculous.

"Dylan, talk to me." I whispered begging him to tell me what he was thinking.

"I saw you two…at rehearsal."

"Yeah so?"

"I don't like it." He responded some what calm.

"Well…it's my job." I said with a little too much sarcasm.

"I want you to quit the play."

I laughed, I didn't mean too and by the look on his face he was serious and I just made it worse. "I'm not going to do that." I responded.

"Yeah…you will." He said stern.

"No I won't." I matched his tone.

He walked up close to my face, again with the anger radiating around him, "Yes…you will." he said through his teeth. I stared into his eyes, who did he think he was? I took a deep breath trying to calm my anger.

"Dylan…lets just have a nice lunch okay? We'll talk about this later."

"Are you going to do this play? With him?" he asked serious.

I stared at him and after a moment I replied, "Yeah…yes I'm going to do this play."

"Then there isn't anything to talk about then." He turned to grab the basket to leave.

"Dylan, are you serious? What the hell is the matter with you?"

He turned, the vein in his neck pulsing, "I just saw my girlfriend, making out with her ex boyfriend. I saw him touch you, your breast, your body." he paused before continuing, "You fucking liked it!"

"That's ridiculous Dylan…I was acting." I raised my voice.

"I saw you!" he yelled.

"Look at me…this is not going to work if you keep acting like this. Again Dylan this is my job. This is why I live here. Just because you're a jealous idiot that's not going to make me not do this play. This is what I've studied for."

"A jealous idiot…really?"

"Yes…you're being unfair."

"Oh cause fair is having to see that shit, when I came to the theater to surprise you with a nice date planned. That's fair?" He was yelling at me. And I wasn't used to it. Dylan hadn't yelled at me much before.

I stared at him, not knowing what to say to him. I didn't know what he saw up there, maybe it was a bit graphic but I was acting. Right?

"Have you slept with him before?" He asked straight out.

"Excuse me?" I replied shocked.

"Have…you…slept…with…him?" he dragged out.

My silence gave him his answer. I didn't know what to say then my anger exploded, I had tried to keep it at bay but I didn't deserve any of this.

"Fuck you Dylan." I yelled, my voice braking from the traitor tears that threaten to spill over.

"Fuck me? Fuck you." he said hurt. He dropped the picnic basket to the ground and stormed off. The contents falling out onto the blanket. I watched him stalk off and I didn't go after him. We both needed to cool off. I didn't want to lose Dylan but he was being unreasonable. The worst part about all this was he didn't know about the nudity and he didn't know about the 2 months apart. Doing this play continually, doing that scene A LOT. Even if we made up from this argument that stuff wasn't going to go away. I reached into my purse grabbing my phone. I dialed and brought the phone to my ear. "Laura?" I said my voice breaking as the tears spilled over. I needed a friend. I needed advice on how to handle this situation. I needed to know how I could keep Dylan and this play. I needed to know what that scene looked like from the outside.

 _Sooooooo…there it was. If you guys have never seen Spring Awakening, its a good play. I saw the high school tame version and I've seen the girl from Glee, that one being more adult and controversial online. This is going to be that version. Please review…what do you think about Dylan? I think this would be a normal feeling, especially because of B and E's history. What do you think Brenda is going to do about this? Is this something you could get over if you were in Dylan's shoes? I mean we all love Brenda, being an actor and in a loving relationship must be tough in real life. You spend a lot of time with people. Maybe why hollywood types never last, who knows. Just some food for thought if you are mad at Dylan right now._


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

 _Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,_

 _And sorry I could not travel both_

 _And be one traveler, long I stood_

 _And looked down one as far as I could_

 _To where it bent in the undergrowth;_

 _Then took the other, as just as fair,_

 _And having perhaps the better claim_

 _Because it was grassy and wanted wear,_

 _Though as for that the passing there_

 _Had worn them really about the same,_

 _And both that morning equally lay_

 _In leaves no step had trodden black._

 _Oh, I kept the first for another day!_

 _Yet knowing how way leads on to way_

 _I doubted if I should ever come back._

 _I shall be telling this with a sigh_

 _Somewhere ages and ages hence:_

 _Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,_

 _I took the one less traveled by,_

 _And that has made all the difference._

 _Robert Frost_

I sat there, the smell of stale beer filling my senses. I stared down at the toxic brown liquid that had never treated me right. I had been sitting at this pub for 2 hours. I had also been staring at this glass for just as long. I lost it. I'm sill losing it. Seeing Brenda with Ethan was eye opening. They were connected and right now I was drowning at the possibility that she maybe had fallen for him and the fact they were going to be making out on a daily basis. I knew it wasn't fair to ask Brenda to drop the play but I asked her anyway. Actually I didn't ask her I told her. What was going on with me? I picked up the glass and brought it to my nose and sniffed. The whiskey stung and made my stomach curl. I was so enthralled in my thoughts I didn't feel him sit beside me. His voice familiar as he ordered a scotch.

"Dylan." he acknowledged.

My head turned towards him slowly, "Eric."

Normal people usually didn't drink like this at noon, "Are you here because of me?" I asked him staring at the inside of my glass.

"Actually I was there when Brenda called Laura." he replied, taking a sip of his poison. "I offered to come look for you. Brenda doesn't know I am here."

I nodded at his honesty he continued, "Well I don't know you very well but I do know you don't drink, so want to explain why you're here?"

I took a deep breath, "Look Eric, you don't know me, so I don't think I really have to explain myself to you."

"True…but I do know Brenda and she seems pretty upset. Actually I don't think I have ever seen her quite like that."

My head fell and I sat silent. If he was bringing on the guilt, it was working.

"Look Dylan, you don't have to talk to me. I don't know you and I don't know your relationship with Brenda. But I do know what its like to love someone with your whole heart. I do know what its like to fear that you may lose that person. I know you lost your wife and that Brenda and you have a long history. I also know Brenda adores you. I also know that getting drunk after god knows how long will only make matters worse for you."

"Why are you doing this?" I looked at him.

He paused and took a sip of his drink, setting it down and throwing some money on the bar. "Ethan is a friend but you have to know you are a hell of a lot more of a threat to him then he is to you. From what I have heard you and Bren, have wasted a lot of years. Don't let this play or his ego of losing her get in between you guys. It's just a play Dylan. It's three months." He got up.

I stopped him, emotion hitting me like a truck, "I can't lose her."

His hand rested on my shoulder, he leaned over and picked up my drink. He brought it to his lips and shot it back. "Then don't." his hand gave me a pat on the back and he left. I stared at my once full glass, now empty it wasn't taunting me anymore. I threw down some money and got up. Walking the short two blocks from the pub home.

When I arrived at the apartment, I slowly used my key to let myself in. As I opened the front door, Brenda sat on the couch. Her face red and puffy from crying. Even at her worse, she was the most beautiful thing I had seen. She looked at me, wiping the tears from her face. I took a deep breath taking off my coat and joining her on the couch. We sat in silence until she spoke up.

"I'm sorry." she whispered.

"I'm sorry too."

"I'll drop out of the play. My understudy can take over…" I interrupted her.

"Bren…I'm not going to let you do that. It was wrong of me to ask."

"Really?" She finally looked at me, tears in her eyes. I turned my body so I was facing her. My hand found her cheek.

"Seeing you together really wiped me out but I know what we have and I shouldn't have questioned it."

"I don't have feelings for Ethan, Dylan. I understand how it could have looked. Laura explained what the scene looked like from the outside. And you are right, I allowed myself to get carried away but I didn't like it, it wasn't intimate, I was acting."

"You are an amazing actress Brenda. It's ok to get carried away. I shouldn't have reacted like that, and I shouldn't have asked you if you guys had slept together. You were dating and moving into a relationship before I showed up on your doorstep at 2am. It wasn't my business. I have no room for talk when it comes to the past and sex. This is just something I have to get over. This is your job and your damn good at it."

"I love you…you know that." her eyes pleading with mine.

"I do."

She took a deep breath and grabbed my hand, she held it tightly, "I have to tell you something." she looked down at out entwined hands before making eye contact with me. "The tour starts mid January, I will be gone until the end of March. Switzerland, Sweden and Scotland. Also there will be partial nudity, above the waist." She looked down again almost ashamed.

"Are you comfortable with that? The nudity?"

She nodded, "I'm nervous about it but I don't think its uncomfortable. My dream is to be a great actress, if the director wants the scene like that, who am I to say no?"

"If you don't have a problem with it then you have my support." I took a deep breath and squeezed her hand, "About the tour, I trust you. I'll miss you like crazy…but I do trust you."

She smiled a soft smile at me, "Thank you Dylan."

I returned the smile and got really close to her. My lips almost touching hers, "You know Bren…I can come visit on tour…we don't have to spend 3 months apart?"

"Really? I'd like that." She closed the distance between us. Cupping my face pressing herself against my lips softly touching mine. She pulled away, "I will limit our talk about this play, I know its difficult…mums the word, you don't even have to come and watch."

I chuckled moving in close to her again, "Are you kidding me? You're bringing my two favorite girls out, besides you." I touched her breasts and she laughed a contagious laugh. "This is my problem Bren, I'll deal with it as long as you're coming home to me." I whispered.

"You know I always do." She said reassuring. "I love you so much Dylan, I don't want my career or this sort of stuff to break us up again, after all this time. This feels right, it feels different."

"I love you too Bren. We'll be ok." I brought her into my arms, cuddling her tight. I made a vow to myself that I would try to be better. I couldn't and wouldn't screw this up. I had waited to damn long to be with her like this. I wasn't going to let some egotistical asshole win. I will not let him intimidate me.

 _Sorry guys short chapter, wanted to get these two love birds back on the road. Thanks for reading…let me know what you think. Things to come, Dylan deals with the play and Ethan. Dylan becomes closer with Brenda's friends. He also find himself a bit more and goes back to his passion. Hit review! Thanks for reading!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10_

 _If all the world and love were young,_

 _And truth in every shepherd_ _'s tongue,_

 _These pretty pleasures might me move_

 _To live with thee and be thy love._

 _Sir Walter Raleigh_

"Cut Cut CUT…guys where's the heat? Where's the longing, sexual discovery? What's changed?" Aaron stopped rehearsal.

I looked at Ethan and then at Aaron. "I'm sorry Aaron, maybe an off day?" I replied hoping that would get him off my back. The truth was it wasn't just today, we had been rehearing this play for a couple weeks and ever since my fight and make up with Dylan rehearsals had been a disaster. I was scared to get heated, I was scared to let go. Dylan had been amazing through this. He accepted my role in this play and my past with Ethan. I knew it bothered him when I left everyday knowing I was going to rehearsal but he kept quiet. He didn't make me feel bad but the truth was he didn't have to make me feel bad, I did anyway. Now it was affecting the play. I needed to pull my head out of my ass and be professional. It wasn't just me, Ethan was holding back too. Whether it was the reality that I was with Dylan now, or whatever it was. It was two sided.

"You know…" Aaron came closer to the both of us. "I don't know what is going on with you guys. But this show opens in one week, fix it. Fix it now." he angrily walked away.

I took a deep breath and walked toward my stuff, picking up my purse and swinging it over my shoulder. Ethan was by my side in an instant, as he sighed. "Why don't we go to my house, rehearse a little?"

I looked at him, "I can't today." I made an excuse. "I have plans." I lied.

"With Dylan?" his tone cold.

"Ethan what do you want from me?" I looked at him annoyed.

"You know what I want? I want to get through this play…damn it. I know it's not just you…but Aaron is right, we have to fix it. This is our job Brenda." he exhaled and walked away. He was right. I just didn't know how to fix it.

I walked home from rehearsal with a million thoughts in my mind. Truthfully I knew the break up with Ethan and the getting back together with Dylan was the reason this was happening. How do you fix it when nothing was going to change? I unlocked the front door and moved through it. Dylan was sitting on the couch, with a notebook on his lap. We locked eyes and he gave me the cutest smirk only he knew how to do.

"Hey baby." he said as he closed his notebook tossing it on the coffee table.

I sighed, "Hey." I tossed my purse on the table and sat next him. I leaned in and gave him a soft kiss.

"How'd rehearsal go?" his tone flat and polite but I knew there was something else in it.

"Honestly? Terrible." I admitted.

He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into him as I cuddled into his warm embrace.

"What happened?" his hand lightly rubbing down my arm.

I pulled out from him and looked into his eyes. "Aaron, ended rehearsal early, he was pissed at Ethan and I over the last couple weeks. Said we lost the connection, the heat." He looked down biting his lip guiltily.

"I'm sorry." he whispered bringing his forehead to mine.

"It's not your fault." I said with my eyes closed. "Thing's are just different now. It's not just me, its him too."

Dylan leaned out taking his hand to my cheek. He caressed it lightly. I glanced down at the table at his notebook, leaning away from him, "What were you doing?" I ran my fingers across the leather bound journal I had gotten him.

He took a deep breath and sat up a little, "I was writing."

"Well…that's great…anything I can read?" I smiled and loved that he was writing again. I had gotten him this journal shortly after him coming here. I thought maybe it would be a nice way to get some feelings out. Something passionate for him to do while I was away at rehearsals. I felt bad Dylan didn't know many people without me here in London. I had lived here for a couple years and had a job. He seemed to be there for me but had yet to find his place here. I felt bad about that. Even though I knew Dylan wasn't Mr. Social but if was a healthy way to brood and sulk plus I found his writing pretty sexy and it seemed to make him happy in the past, even though I didn't have much to do with that side of his life when he first started our senior year. Dylan had a way with words, even in high school he would give me cards for different occasions, love letters. he was good at it whether he knew back then or not.

"I wrote a little something." he shrugged shyly, "Want me to read it to you?" He grabbed the notebook opening it to the page. "I wrote it for you."

"I would love that." I said softly with a smile.

He cleared his throat, "I remember clearly, the day that we met, The words that were spoken, the emotions left unsaid. I remember clearly the excitement that was felt, the way you made me smile, the way my heart would melt. I remember clearly the wonder, the anticipation, the way I was alive with joy and pure elation. I remember clearly all the ways you made me feel, As if it were yesterday. Cause after all this time, I feel that way still." He smiled and looked into my eyes.

My heart beating fast, I smiled back, "It's beautiful." I whispered.

"Thanks." he said shyly.

I leaned in taking his lips in mine, running my tongue softly against his. Sex would definitely keep my mind off this disaster play. I started to get into it more straddling his lap. He smiled and let out a chuckle as I moved my assault to his neck. "Ha baby…what are you doing to me?" he closed his eyes and laid his head back on the couch giving me the access I needed.

"Mmmmm trying to forget how I'm screwing up this play." I murmured against his adams apple, licking up to his ear. He moaned.

Both of his hands cupped my face stopping me, he looked into my eyes deeply. "Not that that doesn't sound amazing. Making love to me isn't going to help the play." I pouted.

I exhaled, "I know…I don't know how to fix it." I said sadly. "Maybe its a lost cause."

"Come on." he lifted me slightly taking me off his lap and got up. I looked up at him wondering why the heck he was turning me down when all I wanted to do was be naked, in bed with him for the rest of the day and night. He held out his hand.

I smirked taking his hand assuming he was taking me to the bedroom but instead he pulled me to the front door. I reached for my purse quickly, "Where are we going?"

"You'll see." he said without looking back, guiding me out of the apartment and to the elevator.

The sound of pins being hit rang out as I stepped through the door. "Bowling…you're taking me bowling?" I laughed confused on how this was going to help me.

"Yes I'm taking you bowling, you need some fun, something to keep your mind off your play. I went for a walk the other day when you were at rehearsal. After seeing the same theaters and bars over and over in West End, I decided to catch a cab and found this place."

I laughed, "I didn't even know this place existed." I admitted, with school and the theater life I hadn't ventured too far it seemed. It was called All Star Lanes, a retro american style place with music, food and bowling.

He raised his eyebrows, "After you." he smiled and I laughed leading the way to the desk to rent some shoes and to have a nice date.

Bowling was actually very fun. We played 2 games where Dylan kicked my ass. That cheater. I didn't have a chance but still even though I sucked it was still a blast. We flirted, we kissed, I had a glass of red wine that Dylan didn't seem to be bothered by. We were happy. I did need this even if it didn't fix anything really. He tried to ruin my concentration by trying to help me with my bowling technique. He came close behind me, one of his hands on my hip. His lips in my ear. He followed my arm back to help guide my ball and then tickled me and kissed my neck as my bowling bowl hit the gutter loudly.

"Such a cheater." I said dumbfounded. Shaking my head.

"What?" he said innocently, "I did nothing." freaking liar.

I laughed at his goofiness, "You thirsty?"

He smiled a wide happy smile at me and nodded. I rolled my eyes still thinking about his bowling cheats as I led him to the bar in the front of the alley. "Hey cheater…get us a table, I'll get you a soda."

"Okay." he agreed with a laugh and left to get somewhere to sit. Nope I wasn't going to let him live it down tonight.

I ordered Dylan a coke and myself another glass of wine. I was happy me having a drink wasn't bothering him, cause sadly I kind of needed it. With both glasses in my hand I looked around for him. I didn't see him anywhere. I saw an empty table in the front and I moved through the people to get it. I set the drinks down and took a seat still looking around for any sight of Dylan. My attention went to the front of the stage as a man came out with a microphone.

"Welcome to All Star Lanes Karaoke night. I'm Jason Haven owner here." the man introduced the start of karaoke with an american accent. Considering this was an american style place I figured he wanted to bring some of home to London. I clapped along with everyone else as he introduced the first singer. Some women came out and sang beautifully, some country song I hadn't heard before. Where the hell was Dylan? I took a sip of wine wondering if maybe he went to the restroom or something. After the pretty girl finished her heartbreaking song, Jason Haven came on stage again.

"Wasn't that great everyone…lets hear it for Miss Claire Hill." The house applauded. "Now to introduce you to our next singer. He comes from sunny California, lets welcome…Mr. Dylan McKay."

My eyes went wide as I saw Dylan walk on stage. Holy shit, what was he doing? I laughed as he looked at me grabbing the microphone. Now Dylan may be a lot of things…a singer is not one of them.

"Well hello everybody." he said in a deep voice, "Now I'm not much of a singer but I have a special song for my number one girl whose been having a tough couple weeks…Brenda…this is for you." He pointed at me and my cheeks must have been 4 shades of red.

The music started to play and I instantly recognized the song. I shook my head, in complete shock Dylan would do this, in front of people mind you. He started the verse but hell no he was no Bon Jovi.

"This romeo is bleeding…But you can't see his blood. It's nothing but some feelings…That this old dog kicked up. It's been raining since you left me. Now I'm drowning in the flood. You see I've always been a fighter but without you I give up." He smiled and I laughed covering my mouth. He sounded sexy yet so terrible and out of tune. People seemed to like the romantic intention because everyone clapped and hooted from around the bar.

"Now I can't sing a love song. Like the way it's meant to be. Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore…But baby, that's just me. And I will love you, baby…always…And I'll be there forever and a day always…I'll be there till the stars don't shine…Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme and I know when I die, you'll be on my mind…And I'll love you - Always."

I shook my head, I was so embarrassed but so happy. Here this in a shell man was up on stage in front of this small touristy bar singing to me. He jumped off the stage and the spotlight came lighting us both up as he stood in front of me. My head went into my hands at being the center of attention in this way. He continued singing so I looked up at him, I stared into his eyes, pushing my embarrassment aside while this verse he sang actually spoke to me.

"Now your pictures that you left behind, Are just memories of a different life. Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry. One that made you have to say goodbye." He looked at me so seriously, he was talking about our past. "What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair. To touch your lips, to hold you near, When you say your prayers try to understand, I've made mistakes, I'm just a man." His hand went to my face as he closed his eyes, bringing the microphone with him and touching my forehead to his, after a beat he leaned out. "When he holds you close, when he pulls you near. When he says the words you've been needing to hear. I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine. To say to you till the end of time."

Oh man, the play. He leaned out continuing to sing the chorus and as I stared into his deep dark eyes, I knew what he was doing. This Bon Jovi song was telling me exactly what I needed to hear. He hopped back up on the stage and sang the rest of the song to me. Telling me pretty much he would always love me. He would do anything for me, nothing would ruin this. That when he watches me and Ethan do this play, he'll wish he was in his place and to treat it that way. Like Dylan was on the stage with me. As he finished, everyone standing clapping and making so much noise. I stood up as he stood before me. I practically through myself into his arms. wrapping my legs around his waist thankful he caught me. My lips crashed with his so hard forgetting we were in the middle of a bar. I felt people pat him on the back the only way I was aware we were still in public. It didn't stop me though. I deepened the kiss as he slowly brought me to my feet. I have to be honest I'm not sure how we moved through that bar so quickly while kissing but I felt the cold London air hit my face and my back hit the brick wall outside the building. My arm wrapped tightly around his neck, he bent at the knees, pushing himself even closer against me. I exhaled in his mouth, my eyes closed as we took a breath.

"Do you feel that?" he murmured, "That pull from your gut." he whispered. "That love."

I nodded, eyes still closed cause I felt it. I felt it everywhere. "Yes." I whispered.

"It doesn't matter Bren what you do on that stage with him. He can't take this away." He looked at me as I slowly opened my eyes. "Let go…pretend its me. I'm not going anywhere. That's not real, don't be afraid." He brought my hand over his heart, laying his hand on top of mine, "This is real." I looked down at our hands, feeling his heart beat against my palm. I kissed him with all the passion I felt in that moment. He was right. There was nothing to be afraid of. The taxi ride home was interesting and sadly we gave the poor driver a show since we couldn't keep our hands off one another. Every moment after that song felt like I was floating in a dream. When we finally made it home and to our bed. He worshipped me, over and over. Sex was amazing with Dylan, it always had been but there was something soul moving about tonight. It was like an out of body experience. He memorized ever inch of my body lovingly as I did to him. When I came he came hard with me. Bodies tangled, breaths in sync. I had never felt more alive. Every nerve ending in my body tingled. Every touch over sensitive. Sweat beaded from our bodies, making us stick together in the most delightful way. I was his and he was mine…fully, entirely, completely, utterly ours.

He rolled off of me, out of breath, "Jesus…" he breathed out.

I giggled with my eyes closed not meaning to laugh but I couldn't take it, I rolled into him kissing his chest. "What the hell was that?" I murmured not able to open my eyes just yet.

"I'm not sure actually." He chuckled.

I opened my eyes moving my chin to his chest. Feeling him breath in and out still catching his breath. "I think you should sing more often." I laughed.

He joined in laughing out loud and kissed my head, "I don't think anyone wants to hear that, I think my singing days are over."

"Mmmm. too bad." I said seductively. I got up still feeling energized even though I was numb. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"Mm kay." he murmured.

I looked at him stopping in the doorway, he laid on his back arms spread to the side, eyes closed. Taking deep breaths, in and out.

"You can join me if you want." I said innocently.

His face moved to the side to look at me. He smiled a sexy grin, kicking off the covers quickly and chasing me into the bathroom I giggled. There was no reason not to give this out of body experience more time to feel it. I was still floating and so was he and by the looks of it that feeling wasn't going anywhere tonight.

 _Sooooo how did you like the newest chapter? Hit review there is more of this coming. Oh Dylan…he sure does know how to fix things. Love you guys and thanks for reading and sticking with me. Sorry about the lyrics, some times that annoys me, but this idea I had really couldn't get across without it. Anyway the song is Always by Bon Jovi. Thanks again._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 _Never seek to tell thy love,_

 _Love that never told can be;_

 _For the gentle wind doth move_

 _Silently, invisibly._

 _I told my love, I told my love,_

 _I told her all my heart,_

 _Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears._

 _Ah! she did depart!_

 _Soon after she was gone from me,_

 _A traveller came by,_

 _Silently, invisibly:_

 _He took her with a sigh._

 _William Blake_

I stretched feeling every inch of my body worked. I smiled and groaned remembering why my body was sore. Rubbing my face with my hands I went to reach for her. My hand was met with cold sheets again, it made me look at the clock. Rehearsal started already. deep breath, Ok I know, I'm a nice boyfriend, I knew this. Because last night was great and she was down on herself. Everything I said to her, everything we felt was true. I knew in the back of Brenda's mind she was holding back in the play because of me. The truth was did I really want her up there making out with Ethan pretending it was me? HELL NO. Did I say it anyway…yes because I was a good boyfriend. Everyday she left for rehearsal, everyday I missed her and everyday I obsessed about this play. I was completely aware that I had become completely dependent on her. Not unhealthy, just this second time around, our relationship had been completely different. I knew I had to be supportive and if that meant telling small lies for her to feel more comfortable, then I would do it. The play wasn't a big deal, it was a small production even with the tour and she was making only okay money, her words, not mine. It was still important to her. If it was important to her it was important to me. I kept quiet about it. So when she came home from rehearsal yesterday bothered about it with no guilt trips from me, since I was on my best behavior, I knew I had to fix it. The night took on a mind of its own, that I couldn't of planned better but she needed to have fun. It worked for both of us. I hadn't laughed and smiled like that in awhile. The sex…holy shit was earth shattering. I know I sound lame but it was something I had never felt before. It was sexual soul mate stuff. I looked down at my impending erection, that's what I get for thinking about the nights activities, that lasted all night to boot. Silently I was mad at myself for sleeping in and not putting him to good use this morning before she left for rehearsal. I slowly got out of bed, pulling on my boxers and heading to get coffee. As I walked into the kitchen, I noticed a note and a pot of coffee had been made, _Thanks babe,_ I thought appreciative. I grabbed my favorite mug from the cupboard and poured myself a cup picking up the note.

 _It was hard to get out of bed today, I could spend all day in there with you. Probably better we give ourself a little break considering I'm walking like a rode a horse all day._

I laughed out loud and continued.

 _Have a good day lover. See you later. Thanks for last night, I think its going to help. I'll be home late…made plans with the gang. Love, Brenda_

 _PS I think we have a new song…Love you Bon Jovi._

 _**Lip stick kiss**_

I smirked feeling a little cocky about the situation. I made an ass out of myself last night with karaoke, that was for sure and I was sober for god sakes. Nothing beat the smile I got from that little performance and nothing beat the thanks I got after ward. Taking my coffee cup to the living room I sat down on the couch. Putting down the mug and picking up my journal, I opened it up where I had left off. I needed to keep busy or I was going to be sporting this boner all day thinking about the night before. Brenda had made plans with the gang. It wasn't the first time she did that after rehearsals and she normally invited me, I always declined because I didn't want to see Ethan. I was holding back and being good at home, I didn't need to add more holding back when it came to him.

I had been writing all day, journey entries and a few poems, it made the day fly by. I stopped myself after I started writing a sex poem and I knew where my mind was going. Taking a deep breath a checked my watch, rehearsal would be done in 45 minutes. I debated back and forth about going to rehearsal, I was a little curious how the scene looked now. To be honest I wasn't that glutton for punishment, so I talked myself out of it. I started writing, trying to get going down there out of my head. When I thought about what to write I came out with this.

 _When you doubt the brilliance of your shine_

 _I will take you through my darkness_

 _I will show you where you shine the brightest._

 _Let me light up your world._

I stared at the words I had written. I didn't want to be without her tonight. I wanted to share stuff with her. After the night we had, I wanted to be with her, support her. I wanted to show her how she lit up my world. I ripped the page out of my journal and folded it sticking it in my pocket. Grabbing my keys I headed down to the theater.

I waited outside, I didn't think I was ready to see it quite yet. I knew I had to see it eventually, there was no way I would miss it to be honest. It was Brenda's play, the first play I was here in person to support. I took a deep breath, yes I would go…but not today. It wasn't too long I had to wait before people started heading out of the theater. I saw her right away, talking animatedly with Laura. She made eye contact with me and gave me the most breathtaking smile.

"Dylan…What a surprise…you been here long?" sneaky little shit, she was checking to see if I snuck in to see.

I gave her a knowing smile, wrapping my arms around her waist. "Nah maybe 10 minutes."

I kissed her deeply, not caring her friends were around. "I missed you…I couldn't stop thinking about last night." I whispered for only her to hear, she blushed a bright pink.

"Me too." she whispered back.

"I don't even want to know what he said to make you blush like that Brenda." Laura laughed.

"What's up Dylan, how you doing man?" Eric greeted me, I liked him. We understood each other it seemed, at least I knew we were both whipped on beautiful women. He shook my hand.

"Everything's good, you?"

"Decent." he replied.

"Are you coming out with us Dylan?" Laura gave me a hopeful smile.

"Actually…I was thinking about it yeah"

"You are?" Brenda looked up at me surprised.

"I am." I kissed her again and smiled against her lips. "Is that ok?" I leaned out from her.

"Hell yes!" she said excitedly.

"So where are we going?" I moved my arm from around Brenda's waist and put it around her shoulder. She leaned into it and it felt so good after being away from her all day, we faced her friends.

"Actually man…Angie has a show, we're going to go see her sing." Eric said with a smile. "She's singing with her band at Half Moon on Richmond, The Who and The Stones played there."

"Whaaaat? That's awesome…what does she sing…let me guess country?" It was a good guess, she was from Texas.

They laughed, "Sort of, more country blues, jazzy sometimes. She is pure soul." Eric described it with passion, he must be a music buff. I was pleasantly surprised, I liked Angie I had no idea she was a singer.

"She is really good, whenever we had musicals at the academy she always got the lead." Brenda agreed.

I all of a sudden got kind of excited, I hadn't really been out much living in London, just the pub that they frequented. I liked the fact that Brenda's new friends seemed to be really worldly and cultural, all from different places. I didn't mind frequenting the pubs in the West end. They weren't noisy clubs like LA and here our little southern belle was a jazz blues singer, pretty cool.

"When does she go on?" I asked interested.

"Eight." Laura chimed in, "Were just waiting for Ethan and Veronica."

Great…I tightened my hold on Brenda's waist involuntarily. I regretted it after seeing her big grey blue eyes look into mine. I smiled an apologetic smile at her and her expression softened. She looked back towards her friends and I laid a soft kiss on her head. Rein it in Dylan, I kept telling myself. Shortly after Ethan finally came over. He didn't really make eye contact with us and I was grateful. I didn't want to deal with him but the truth was, he was still part of Brenda's group so to speak and even though I got the hint things weren't fully comfortable between them either I didn't need to make things worse. I had her, she was mine. We split up in two groups and jumped in a cab. It wasn't far but too far to walk. Plus it being mid December in London, it was the coldest time of year here. Me, being a California boy aside it was in the mid 40's tonight. When we walked in, I took an interest in the photos on the wall, Eric was right. They had the Rolling Stones, The Who, U2…it was a cool little place. Angie had reserved a table for us by the stage and we all took our seats. A waitress came over and took our drink orders. I ordered a club soda, of course being the only one that didn't drink. I was happy Brenda didn't feel bad drinking in front of me. She didn't have the problem, I did sadly. I never really felt out of sorts by it until we did things like this. Still it wasn't enough to bother me. I had seen Brenda drink a beer, mostly wine in the past, tonight she ordered a Jameson and Ginger ale. I smiled pleasantly surprised, my girl drank whiskey, who knew? We all flowed in friendly conversation. Brenda stayed glued to my side which I happily obliged by keeping my arm around her shoulders. She leaned in kissed me, whispered sweet things to me, I love you's, that she couldn't wait to be alone with me later. I was surprisingly having a really good time. This was a new kind of fun I could get used too.

"Brenda?" Both of us looking to her left. A tall thin guy with dark hair stood. His hair sort of sculpted like I used to wear it in high school, with side burns, eerily trying to look like James Dean, original. He was american by his accent. I glanced at Brenda and she lit up in a bright smile.

"Marky?" she left my side and stood up. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "How are you?" she was happy to see who ever this was. They started catching up.

I glanced at the group noticing every single person at the table staring at me. I smiled awkwardly, why were they looking at me? Then I looked at Ethan and he was sporting the biggest dick smirk I had seen from him yet and then I knew something was up.

Brenda finally looked over at me, "Oh Dylan…meet Marky." Yep I was still here Bren.

The guy smiled and tipped his chin towards me and held out his hand. I got up, being polite and met his grip. "It's Mark, this one is the only one that calls me that." he smiled sincerely at her and she laughed.

"Dylan McKay, nice to meet you." I commented bringing his look back to me.

"You want to join us?" I held my hand out to the empty seat next to Brenda's

"Sure…I have a few minutes before we go on." He sat down and we both followed.

"Go on? Are you back in the band?" Brenda turned her body away from me.

"Yeah…actually I've been rehearsing with Angie and the guys again the past two weeks."

She didn't mention it, how strange?" Benda looked down thinking.

"Well…Bren you've been sort of busy." Laura chimed in with a wink to me. I smiled at her.

"Yeah true." Brenda looked over at me finally and gave me a smile. "What about your tour?" Brenda asked interested giving him back her attention.

"Honestly my guitar player ran off and got married." he laughed, "He decided he didn't want to tour anymore and wanted to stay home. He moved back to the mid west. We lost our record deal." he seemed sincerely bummed about that. Brenda moved her hand onto his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Marky, I know how much that meant to you." I picked up my club soda taking a sip looking around the group. Laura's eyes looked sympathetic…Eric looked uncomfortable and Ethan looked knowingly, who the fuck was this guy? I was lost. I put my arm around Brenda and pulled her close to me again. She leaned in without hesitation.

Mark noticed, looking directly at me…bothered, then it turned into a sincere and kind look, "Where did you guys meet?" he brought his beer bottle to his lips, I saw him swallow down the beer roughly.

"Brenda and Dylan were high school sweethearts." Eric said cutting in. He was my new best friend I decided at that moment. I smiled at him saying thanks dude and he gave me a I got your back nod. The unspoken bro language.

"Really?" Mark said surprised.

Benda looked up at me and smiled, I kissed her forehead, "Yep…sad but true. Dylan moved here about, what?" she looked at me.

"Almost two months ago." Ethan chimed in taking a shot quickly. I looked at him oddly and so did Mark. Ethan looked toward the stage and Mark smirked guiltily, taking another swig of his beer. Oh interesting, they didn't like each other. Maybe there was someone that Ethan hated more than me. It gave me a small amount of satisfaction but then the other nagging problem, it seemed like this all had to do with Brenda.

"Hey Bren…Tyler and the boys are here, Dylan mind if I steal your girl for a second? I know they would be so excited to see you." Brenda looked over at me with a sweet smile.

I nodded, "Be my guest." I answered truthfully.

"I'll be right back." She leaned in and gave me a hot kiss and was out of her seat excitedly. I took a deep breath and looked at the group.

"Well…you handled that better than I ever did." Ethan said as he raised one eyebrow.

Laura shook her head.

"What? Who is that guy?" I asked Ethan. He may be the only person that would tell me.

Laura interrupted Ethan as he opened his mouth to speak. "Mark and Brenda used to go out or whatever they did. He's been on tour though. He's a musician."

I looked at Ethan seeking more information. He smiled, "Yeah they went out or didn't go out for a year and half off and on…"

"I'm gonna go get a shot anyone want?" Laura interrupted and got up.

Everyone chimed in and decided to get one. I myself thought about it but knew I couldn't. As Laura got up to go head to the bar. I looked in the distance and saw Mark and Brenda standing next to each other. She was talking with two other guys, smiling being friendly. My attention went back to Eric and Ethan that were looking over in the same direction.

I scooted my chair closer to them, "Something tells me there is more to this story, want to fill me in?" I directed my question towards Eric, knowing he was the only friend at this table, Ethan was probably enjoying this.

Eric looked at me sadly, "Honestly…they went out for a while off and on. To my knowledge they only broke up because he was so concentrated on his music and got a record deal. He started touring and left. Laura said she was pretty upset about it." I knew Eric was telling me this because from what I could see we were a lot alike. He loved Laura, you could tell. He was sweet to her, respectful. He wasn't a young douchy guy. He was one of the good ones. I respected him and the way he had treated me and women in general. I knew he was just as uncomfortable about this then I was. I looked at Ethan who was straight faced.

"Put it this way Dylan, If you ever thought I was a threat."

"I never did." I answered quickly stopping him.

"Regardless." he said with a roll of his eyes. "Brenda and me had numerous arguments about him, we didn't even start having a real relationship until after he took off. We came close, but as long as that guy was around she wouldn't give all of herself to me, he has a way with her. He has a way of taking her away from any guy she was seeing, her friends, herself. None of us like him, not even the girls, probably why Angie didn't mention it to her that he had come back."

I bit the inside of my cheek, looking toward her again. I watched her laugh as Mark wrapped an arm around her and gave her a squeeze, letting go just as quick. He seems respectful. I shrugged and looked at the guys.

"Well…things change I guess." I replied. Eric smiled and nodded in agreement and Ethan laughed. Fucking dick.

The show started shortly after, if I didn't know better, I would say Angie and Mark had something going on. Everything was a duet practically. Angie had a gorgeous voice. I had no idea. She WAS bluesy, with a twang to it. Sadly Mark was just as talented too. He played the guitar and his voice was just as decent. They sounded good together. They sang slow ballads and looked into each other eyes, true performers it seemed. They were really good, great actually. The set changed and I noticed Angie grab a tambourine backing from the front of the stage making Mark the center of attention. He gripped the microphone tightly as his guitar hung from the strap.

"This one is for someone special, you know who you are." He grabbed his guitar and strummed the beginning of the song. Ethan cleared his throat loudly, "Jesus." he muttered and Brenda shot him a look. Did I want to know about this guy? The guy that suddenly made Ethan more uncomfortable and pissed off then me? Brenda looked toward the stage. She looked uncomfortable to be honest, she mouthed the words to the song, so she knew it.

"He has some nerve." Laura said quietly making Eric kiss her forehead to calm her.

The song continued and I was so out of the loop. This being the first time I've heard this band, the first time meeting this guy. They all seemed to have some problem with the guy. If it wasn't as obvious as dislike, like Ethan, it was definitely the fact this guy made everyone uncomfortable, I just wasn't sure why exactly. Then it became all a little more clear as I started actually listening to the lyrics. He looked directly at Brenda and continued singing…like no one else was in that bar.

" _And chances are_

 _You_ _'_ _re sittin_ _'_ _here in this bar_

' _Cause he ain_ _'_ _t gonna treat you right_

 _Well, it_ _'_ _s probably not my place_

 _But I_ _'_ _m gonna say it anyway_

' _Cause you look like_

 _You haven_ _'_ _t felt the fire_

 _Had a little fun_

 _Hadn_ _'_ _t had a smile in a little while_

 _Baby_

 _Blue looks good on the sky_

 _Looks good on that neon buzzin_ _'_ _on the wall_

 _But darling, it don_ _'_ _t match your eyes_

 _I_ _'_ _m tellin_ _'_ _you_

 _You don_ _'_ _t need that guy_

 _It_ _'_ _s so black and white_

 _He_ _'_ _s stealin_ _'_ _your thunder_

 _Baby, blue ain't your color_ _…"_

OH FUCK NO. My eyes went to Eric who closed his eyes shaking his head, then Ethan. At that moment Ethan gave me the most honest look I had ever gotten from him. He knew…he dealt with this shit already. Oh hell no. I looked at Brenda as her eyes stared back at him. She looked uncomfortable, I won't say she looked happy. She was almost stunned but her eyes didn't leave his.

A couple more versus past and the chorus came up again. There he was staring at her, longing after her, looking into her eyes…singing to her, sadly like I kind of did just the night before. But this dick was 10 times better.

 _Blu_ _uuuuuue looks good on the sky_

 _Looks good on that neon buzzin_ _'_ _on the wall_

 _But darling, it don_ _'_ _t match your eyes_

 _I_ _'_ _m tellin_ _'_ _yo_ _ooooo_ _u_

 _You don_ _'_ _t need that guy_

 _It_ _'_ _s so black and white_

 _He_ _'_ _s stealin_ _'_ _your thunder_

 _Baby, blue ain't your color_

 _Blue ain't your color_

He smirked at her, running his tongue across his lips, bringing his lips close to the microphone. "Mmm. No, no, baby." he sang hungrily.

He motioned his head towards him, "Come here, baby."

"Lemme light up your world." His voice deep and rough.

He stole my line…FUCKER, what are the odds? Everybody around us clapped. No one at our table did. They sat shocked, dumbfounded and almost waiting for an explosion, I think from me? Ethan then looked at Brenda, who looked like her dog just died, and broke the silence.

"You know Mr. lover boy should come up with a new routine." he said glaring at her. "What a fucking dick. I hate that fucking song." Ethan was almost talking to himself.

"Ethan…please shut up." she said almost pleading. She didn't look at me yet and I wasn't really sure what to even say. I mean Brenda didn't look like she was comfortable with this at all. And even though the song sounded pretty fucking personal against me, by the looks of Ethan, it sounded like this had happened before.

I brought my arm around Brenda's waist, she slid from her chair closer to me. She looked at me, worry and apology in her eyes. She closed her eyes as my forehead found hers, I closed my eyes too. I took a deep breath, pulling away from her, I kissed her forehead, her nose, then her lips.

"Dylan…I'm sorry…I didn't.."

"Shhhh." my lips were against hers again. She pulled out and smiled at me and nodded, knowing this wasn't the place, she wrapped her arms tightly around me and gave me a long hug, I rubbed down her back glancing at the group who smiled. "Fuck I need a drink." she muttered backing away from me. Laura got up with her and went towards the bar.

I chuckled, "Familiar song Ethan?"

Ethan glared and then shook his head with a laugh.

"He's a fucking wanker douche bag."

Eric laughed as well, seeing it was safe to react.

"Honestly." I nodded, "Who the fuck does that guy think he is?" I said to the guys.

"Dylan…honestly…you are a better man then me. Let's just leave it at that." Ethan said bringing his beer to his lips again. I nodded having a weird understanding that Ethan had dealt with this guy in a shitty way. It seemed dramatic and even now bothered him. We made small talk about how good Angie sounded and about the fact she writes all the songs. She played a few more duets and a solo. I was impressed by her. She was super talented.

We brought our drinks together with a clink, bringing it in for a cheers. For the first time, Ethan and I had something besides our love for Brenda in common, a loathing for Mark. Maybe we could be friends after all. The set finished and people were starting to leave. I had made small talk with the guys and we stopped talking about Mark the fucking wanker douche bag, Ethan's words and had a nice night. I found some common ground with those guys tonight and even though Ethan was still not a friend or my favorite person. We got along and he seemed to get the point that him and Brenda were over. It was painfully obvious he approved of me with Brenda over Mark that was for sure. Which was sort of unsettling.

"You guys ready?" Eric said looking around for Brenda and Laura.

"I am." Ethan said a little drunk.

I saw Laura and Brenda dancing and laughing off to the side. Brenda's cheeks were a bit rosy and she stumbled a bit just standing there. She was drunk too.

"Eric I think we are going to have our hands full tonight." I laughed motioning my head towards the girls.

"Uh…she better not barf in the cab." Eric said getting up. We all grabbed our coats with a laugh getting ready to leave. I led my way towards the bar where the girls were. As I was walking, laughing with something Eric said about trying to have drunk sex with Laura tonight, I saw red.

There 4 feet away from me, Mark comes from out of fucking no where grabs Brenda around the waist spinning her around in a half circle and then he slams his lips into hers, opening his mouth and deepening the kiss. I practically saw him shove his tongue in her mouth. I freeze as I feel Eric's hand on my back. I see Brenda push him off of her just as fast as he kissed her and I jolt forward.

"Mark…what the fuck?" she says wiping her mouth, she's pissed.

And another quick blink and two steps forward, my fist hits Mark's face with force. He falls to the floor. I reach to grab his shirt to hit him again.

"Dylan…stop." I hear Brenda, then feel her pull me back.

I'm semi aware explicit language is flowing out of my mouth but I haven't a clue what i'm saying. I feel strong arms on me, not Brenda's, has to be a guy, maybe two guys. When I'm pulled off of Mark, I see its Ethan and Eric. They continue to pull and push me toward the exit. Until I feel the chill of the London air hit me like ice, they let me go.

"Oh my god…that was awesome." Ethan says quietly to me. "You ok?" he asks, he's happy with these turn of events, I don't answer him a bit out of breath and look behind me seeing Brenda. She doesn't look angry she does look bothered though. I rush over to her. She looks up at me, defeated. "Are you okay?" my hand instantly reaches for her face moving her hair away from it.

She nods, "You?"

I exhale out my nose and nod. I look towards the bar, a small group has formed and security, "Who the fuck was that guy Bren?" I ask her not in an angry tone, just seriously who the fuck was he? My tone was curious and worried, worried about her. She obviously didn't invite him in to kiss her. Who does that shit?

Her hand grabs my arm, she shakes her head, "Let's go home." she says not wanting to talk about it.

"K." I nod wrapping my arm tightly around her, her head finds my chest. We wave to the group and go off to find our own cab.

The ride home is quiet as Brenda looks out the cab window. I make no point in talking and let her regroup. We make it to the apartment and I silently follow her into the bedroom. I watch from the door way as she changes for bed. She pulls down the covers and looks at me. I swallow hard and walk to my side of the bed. Stripping myself down to my boxers and join her. She faces the opposite wall away from me as I stare up at the ceiling. I don't even know what to say at this point. My head turns looking at her back. I reach my hand to her head, playing gently with her hair.

"Come here baby." I whisper.

"Dylan…I'm tired…ok?" she responds but doesn't turn towards me.

Alright this is fucking ridiculous. I'm not mad, she seems to be. I don't feel its towards me. I move on my side, sliding closer to her. Spooning her from behind. I bring my lips to her ear.

"When you doubt the brilliance of your shine…I will take you through my darkness. I will show you where you shine the brightest." I whisper in her ear, leaving the last line out for obvious reasons. I hear her sigh happily, as she cuddles her butt against my pelvis.

"I love you." I squeeze her.

"I love you too." she whispers.

I close my eyes wondering who this guy is, what he did emotionally to my girl and what the fuck he wants from her now.

 _Soooooo there is more about Brenda's past and relationships. I told you she wasn't waiting around for Dylan depressed. Yes good old asshole Mark. Opening night is next chapter and you'll find out in time, maybe next chapter as well, who this douche Mark is or more so what kind of relationship they had. Song is Blue ain't your color by Keith Urban. Also I'm a Nashville fan. Angie's inspiration is Scarlett if you watch the show. If you don't I recommend you tubing Scarlett and Gunnar If I didn't know better. That's how she sings. And good old Gunnar is Mark hehe, not his personality just looks wise..that character is actually nice. HA That song is also the inspiration for Brenda's and Mark's relationship. No this isn't a crossover. Just listen to the words and you'll understand a bit better, he has weird pull on her emotions. Just for a visual. Hit review! Working on the next one as we speak!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Heads up its rated M for mature ;)_

Chapter 12

 _I want to hold you in my arms_

 _close enough to make you feel_

 _what you do to my heart_

 _I want to take your hand_

 _and walk you through my dreams_

 _Just to show you, just to prove_

 _That what I live for is you and me_

 _You're all I need_

 _I love you with all my heart and soul_

 _You are and will always be_

 _The only one for me_

 _Unknown_

Dylan had moved during the night from my side and I was able to turn to look at him. I gazed lovingly at him, he looked so sexy and peaceful. I wish I could sleep like him at this moment. I had been up all night thinking about the show. He had been so great the night before, except for when he punched Mark in the face but he did deserve it. Fucking Mark…I swear to god. This was nothing new. Mark had been my savior, my best friend, my lover, my friend with benefits, my boyfriend and my thorn in my side since I came to London. Mark was the devil in disguise. He was handsome, charming, arrogant, sexy, smooth and it was lust at first sight. He moved here from San Francisco with his roommate Tyler who was originally from Texas…who knew Angie. Angie and Tyler were high school sweethearts and broke up when she got into RADA and he got into the University of San Francisco. There he met Mark where they both lasted one semester and after saving up, moved here. Tyler missed Angie and he wanted to pursue music. I met Mark through her and I'm pretty sure she regretted it ever since because of the roller coaster ride we endured. He was in her band, they made wonderful music, I was attracted to the musician/artist in him and it was instant attraction and chemistry. Mark was my first just sex relationship, I hadn't loved him. I didn't think so now anyway, and he didn't love me but he had a way in the bedroom and way to tug at my emotions. We were addicted to each other. There was one last small detail about my relationship with Mark that my friends didn't entirely know. He was the guy who took Dylan's place in my mind and my life. The main reason I stayed in London, besides being asked to come back that being the obvious. He is what made the decision to stay here, study here and live here easy. I would never tell Dylan that. Especially after hearing about that first year I moved here. I knew Dylan was messed up, drinking again, doing drugs, chasing Kelly but it only brought me closer to Mark. Then the worst part, he was the one that helped me move on from Dylan. I can't say I got over Dylan because I never got over him but being without him, in this new city, without my friends back home was scary. Mark made me feel wanted, loved when we were getting along and quite satisfied, if you know what I mean. I was purely addicted to everything about him. My friends didn't like him. I knew why but I didn't like to admit it. Mark was bad news. We started dating right away exclusively then after a month I walked in on him fucking his back up singer. He looked at me with those dark eyes, smoldering…intense stare, say things like you're the only one, Brenda your my soul mate, my muse, I can change and I would go back every single time. It would be good for a little while, then he would do it again, he'd write me a song, sing to me and I'd take him back. He was a vicious, unhealthy cycle for me that I was well aware of but I didn't care and let go on for over a year. He was talented and suave, and he had a hold on my emotions. There were so many times I'd tell him off, leave him, even start seeing someone new. He'd come around seeing that I was moving on with someone else but all he had to do was give me that look and that sexy smirk and he would see right through it. That's how the song Blue Ain't Your color came around. After the first couple of times of the off and on, I met a guy named Sean that I was excited to start seeing. He was a theater boy, very handsome, sweet and totally unlike Dylan or Mark, too nice really. We went to one of their shows and bam. He stood on stage, named me out of the crowd and he sang that song to me that he had written for me. Sadly every time he sang it to me, it was true because in all those dates and relationships I was missing the fire, I was blue so to speak because I couldn't be with who I wanted. He wrote that song for me and used it to his advantage every single time.

When he sang that last night, looking at me like that, with freaking Dylan next to me, I was so uncomfortable. I knew exactly what he was doing because he had done it so many times before. I looked over at Dylan at that moment, my first love and sighed. I had the real thing here sleeping in my bed. Making love to me everyday, kissing me, holding me, living with me…this was real. He was my true love.

Mark was a good substitute, by his looks and charm. They didn't have the same personality really. They had similarities but Dylan didn't disrespect me like that. Dylan was always a loving, caring, romantic boyfriend to me. Except at the end of course but even senior year when he cheated on me, it was like he was taken over by someone else, I didn't even recognize him. After losing Dylan to Kelly I lost part myself. When I came here, I did so well at RADA. I felt empowered and talented. Then I meet Mark, that says all the right things, looks a little too much like Dylan and going back to my life of the Beverly Hills drama didn't entertain me at all. Sadly Mark was my first boyfriend here in London, and he did the same thing to me, cheated. I didn't want to lose him like I did Dylan, so I forgave him.

Mark being here did complicate things and I knew him well enough that that kiss and even Dylan punching him, wouldn't stop him. My god Ethan hated him so much. Not only did Ethan see how he treated me in our relationship, he actually was one of the ones that told me he had cheated on me, seeing it himself. Sadly when Ethan got the nerve to tell me, I already knew because it wasn't the first time. Mark didn't like the idea of me dating Ethan. To him he was the enemy that obviously had more loyalty to me than any bro code every did. When Ethan and I first started dating, Mark pulled out all the same stops even more so than ever before. I think Mark knew that I liked Ethan. He wasn't just some guy I started seeing in hopes to get over Mark. Ethan had been my friend before we were romantic and Mark worried if there was anyone that could pull me away, it would be Ethan. I remember the night so clearly, We all went to a show, Ethan being my date. Mark charmed me, sang that song and pulled me back in. Ethan was so angry, every time Mark was around we would fight, he would tell me what a user Mark was and tell me to stop leading him on. He made huge scenes, and it wasn't a secret to anyone that Mark was the reason for the drama. Even though everything that Ethan said was true and he was looking out for me, our relationship, I still didn't want to listen. Ethan even caught me in bed with him at a party once. I know, I regret that…especially because I knew how much they hated each other. I'm sure Ethan was thrilled to see Dylan punch him out. He always wanted too, but he always held back because he knew it would upset me. After Ethan caught me in bed with Mark, he broke it off with me. I went back to Mark right away and we took off where we had left off. Then one day Mark up'd and left without even saying goodbye for his tour. I was devastated, I almost wanted to return home to L.A. Ethan talked me out of it and thankfully so because I was doing well in school. I begged Ethan for forgiveness because I really did like him. With Mark gone I think it was an easy decision to take me back. Ethan liked me enough to forgive me and we had been happy for those few months before Dylan came into town. I rubbed down my face dramatically, God I was an asshole to Ethan. I didn't deserve him. He still kept me on a pedestal and loved me even after I left him for Dylan.

"You okay baby?" I heard Dylan's scruffy morning voice breaking me out of thought.

I nodded and gave him a small smile. I knew he knew I was lying so I changed the subject. "You want breakfast? I don't have to be at the theater until 4 for opening night."

He rubbed his lips together wanted to say something but instead shook his head. "I want you." he said with a smirk.

I moved closer to him and gave him a slow kiss. I reached down between us grabbing his boxer covered bulge and he let out a groan. Dylan closed his eyes feeling me touch him. "You're killing me Bren." He rasped.

"That's the idea." I said with a smile as he captured his lips with mine. Running his sweet tongue across my lips. I was annoyed I let my thoughts keep me up all night and I was annoyed at Mark. Taking my frustration out on Dylan, I climbed roughly on top him. I took both of his wrists in my hands and slammed them above his head to the mattress. He looked at me surprised but I gave him my sexiest smirk I had and leaned forward taking his lips to mine again. I kept his hands above his head and I devoured him. I knew I was being aggressive but I needed to show myself and Dylan that Mark was an asshole that I wasn't going to put up with. He had been gone for 5 months. How dare he come back and except things to be the way they had been. How dare he sing that stupid song to me and how dare he kiss me in front of everyone including Dylan.

"Baby…where's your mind at?" Dylan whispered looking into my eyes.

"Please fuck me Dylan." I breathed out, grinding myself to him roughly, sliding my tongue in his mouth.

Dylan moved his hands from above his head and stopped my aggressive attack. His hands came to my face, searching my eyes for whatever explanation he was looking for. "Brenda." He breathed out pleading. He wanted me to talk to him.

"What?" I sat up annoyed.

He was taken back by my tone, "What is this about?" he said harder.

My hands came out with a shrug, "I'm trying to get in your pants…geez?"

Dylan smiled amused now, "I see that, not that I don't like this side of you, its just where is it coming from?"

I dramatically exhaled and swung my leg off him getting up. Dylan grabbed my hand so fast I had no balance as my back hit the bed roughly. "Is this about last night?" he was close to my face.

I looked into his pleading eyes, "No…yes." I whispered the last part. "I'm just so angry at him. I'm sorry."

"Hey…don't be sorry. You did nothing wrong, last night or this morning. I just know you."

My hand cupped his cheek, "I know you do."

"I know who he is. The guys filled me in." Great…he continued, "Do I need to worry about this guy Bren?"

"God no…No." I tried to reassure him. I was telling the absolute truth. "There is nothing between us I swear, I feel absolutely nothing."

Dylan looked into my eyes for confirmation and smiled. "Okay." he gave me a cute nod.

"So where were we?" He grabbed me roughly taking charge. I giggled as I felt him try to bring back some of that aggression I brought to him a few minutes before. "You like it a little rough…huh?" his voice like a low groan.

He leaned up hovering over me, grabbing my pajama pants and panties bringing them roughly down my bare legs. I hurried things along by sweeping my shirt over my head and tossing it to the floor as he pulled his boxers off. His hands grabbed my hips, pulling me to him forcibly as my head slid off the pillow on to the mattress. I liked this. This was sort of new. He leaned forward taking my nipple into his mouth and sucked hard. My back lifting off the bed as to get closer to him. I moaned as electricity shot down my body. His lips trailed down my torso, tongue gliding down my stomach. He looked up at me, hungry with need. His hands were on my hips again as he flipped me over, my abdomen hitting the sheets with a thump. My head turned to the side breathing out loudly. His mouth kissing between my shoulder blades, the back of my neck and ear. I closed my eyes as my body exploded into fire. He shifted easing my legs apart carefully, my stomach still flat on the bed. He entered me in a heart stoppable slam, stilling a moment so both of us to could get used to the sensation. The weight of his body on mine, his lips and breath in my ear, he pulled out slamming into me again. His mouth taking my ear lobe into it moving lower as he licked and sucked my neck. Oh my god, the chill and goose bumps spread over my body quickly and I moaned out exhaling. His pace picked up, pulling out and slamming into me again, as his mouth worked my ear and neck. His lips and breath hot in my ear, "You like that?" he breathed.

I didn't speak as he pounded into me harder from behind. The sensation filling my mind and body as I felt the pull from deep within my loins. His movement was quick as his chest left my back and I was picked up off the bed. My knees bending involuntarily kneeling my backside in the air. He pressed forward hitting deeper than before. The noises that came from me were almost embarrassing but at that point it felt too good to care. He grunted picking up speed as he hammered away in and out of me. I was getting close, so close it building from deep within me. Both of his hands reached up and grabbed my breasts roughly as he brought me sitting up, him still behind me. His lips were on my neck keeping the speed he had before. I lasted 3 more deep hard pumps and I fell apart against him. Shaking as a unrecognizable cry left my lips. Simultaneously a deep guttural moan left his mouth as he spilled into me, letting go at the same time. Our breaths deep and loud as he slowed and stilled inside of me.

His lips still breathing in me ear, holding me tight against him, "I love you." he breathed.

My eyes closed, still coming down for my high, "God…I love you too." I whispered.

"You're my girl." he breathed out again, almost reminding both of us.

I nodded eyes closed still, "And…you're mine." I replied.

I wasn't worried anymore, my god this man was a god and I was his prisoner. Mark fucking who?

I arrived at the theater by 3:30, three and half hours early. I don't know why I did this all the time but it was better. If I would have stayed home I would have probably stayed in bed all day with Dylan and I wouldn't have ever gotten here at all. I felt pleasantly warm and loved after the morning activities. Honestly best sex ever. Holy crap did Dylan know how to get me thinking about other things beside the Mark fiasco. Geez, unbelievable. I smiled as I unpacked my makeup bag and began to set up my vanity. I looked curiously in my bag seeing a small package and card. _What the hell?_ I thought as I grabbed it bringing it to me. I opened the card and my hand went to my heart.

 _Bren:_

 _The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful_

 _Stop me and steal my breath_

 _Emeralds from mountains and thrust towards the sky_

 _Never revealing their depth_

 _And rain falls angry on the tin roof_

 _As we lie awake in my bed_

 _You're my survival, you're my living proof_

 _My love is alive and not dead_

 _And I've dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead_

 _I Tuned in, I turned on, I remembered the thing you said_

 _Tell me that we belong together_

 _Dress it up with the trappings of love_

 _I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips_

 _Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above_

 _I'll be your cryin' shoulder_

 _I'll be love suicide_

 _I'll be better when I'm older_

 _I'll be the greatest fan of your life_

 _Break a leg baby_

 _Love always,_

 _Dylan_

A tear ran down me cheek, I wiped it quickly. When did he do this? I ripped open the wrapping of the small box curious, lifting the top off carefully. There lay a silver bracelet with 3 charms hanging from it. A comedy mask, a tragedy mask and a round charm that was inscribed with the words… _Live Your Dream._ Oh my god I was in love with it. I had the best freaking boyfriend ever. I fastened it carefully around my wrist .

"What's that Brenda?" Laura came in with her bag.

I smiled, "Dylan." she showed off her bracelet.

"Oh my god." She pulled her long sleeve up showing her hers. It was a similar bracelet with the same charms except hers said _My Favorite Drama Queen._ We both laughed. That was hilarious. Eric came in looking at us oddly.

Laura turned around looking at him, "Did you and Dylan go shopping together?" she asked curiously.

Eric shrugged with a guilty smile, "What can I say, he's rubbing off on me a little."

We laughed for 2 minutes straight just picturing it. That was the cutest thing ever. I'm so glad Dylan and Eric seemed to be getting along well. I wanted him to have friends here. Dylan's happiness meant the world to me, especially living here in London. I really wanted him to stay here with me. I honestly hadn't been this happy in a really long time.

"I will sing the song of purple summer. All shall know the wonder of purple summer." I sang with the cast as the lights went black. The cheers rang out in the theater. Ethan grabbed my hand and I smiled at him. The lights went on as the cheers continued as we all took bow. I stepped forward with Ethan a smile on my face as we took our second bow. The audience rose to their feet giving us a standing ovation. I looked over at Ethan, his smile proud, we did it. I squeezed his hand gently. It felt great…we all did great. The hard work had paid off and hey I survived my first nudity scene. We made our way backstage to change and shortly after we were at the after party. I hadn't seen Dylan yet, I was a little nervous for his reaction to the play. I mean, it seemed him and Ethan were okay now but it was like they tolerated each other a little better at most. I walked up to Angie giving her a hug.

"Brenda…I tried to stop him. I reckon he wouldn't have listened anyway." I was confused by the intro but then I saw what she meant…Mark was approaching.

"Brenda, you were so amazing." He said nicely with that fucking smirk.

"Umm yeah thanks. I didn't know you were coming." I looked at his face, he had a small black and blue bruise under his eye from Dylan. A small bit of satisfaction hitting me.

His eyes traveled to my breast too long for comfort before his eyes met mine, "I wouldn't have missed your play…especially one thats reminding me what I was missing." Oh my god, he would be talking about my boob shot.

"Mark…you know I have a boyfriend, I'm still really pissed about last night."

"Brenda…honey you always have a boyfriend. Since when did that ever matter before?" He took a step closer. "I wrote you a song, I've missed you so much."

I shook my head not amused, Funny how this interaction five months ago would've worked better. I opened my mouth to tell him that Dylan wasn't an ordinary guy I was seeing when two strong hands wrapped around my waist from behind. I smelled him and closed my eyes with a smile as his lips kissed my neck. "Dylan."

He ignored Mark moving to the side of me, I faced him with a smile. "You were amazing." he smiled.

"She was outstanding." Mark butted in.

I saw Dylan take a deep breath as he faced Mark. "Mark…" finally acknowledging his presence. "Nice shiner." he smirked.

"Dylan…nice seeing you again." the boys stared at each other.

I grabbed Dylan's hand, "Bye Mark." pulled him gently to the other side of the room. I turned towards Dylan, he had a expression that was hard to read. "I'm sorry babe, I didn't know he was going to be here."

His face softened. "I know. Come here." His arms wrapped around my waist pulling me into his embrace. "You were so good out there tonight Bren…really phenomenal." he said against my hair. I pulled out and gave him a smile keeping our closeness.

"So you enjoyed it?" I asked hopeful.

He chuckled, "You know what I actually did. The scene didn't bother me as much as I feared and Ethan also did an amazing job." he smiled, "Don't tell him I said so though."

"Too late!." Ethan approached us with a smile, "What's up Dylan, so you thought I was amazing did ya?" he held his hand out.

Dylan laughed and met his hand in a shake and nodded. He looked down embarrassed as Ethan patted him on the back and walked away going to talk to Aaron.

I leaned in and gave Dylan a long peck against his lips, "Thank you." I whispered. "Thank you for coming and thank you for my bracelet. I love it so much."

"I'm glad." he stared into my eyes, the heat relevant. "How long do you have to stay here? I can't wait to get you alone." he murmured coming in for a longer heated kiss. My guy was in the mood, his need was radiating off him.

"An hour?" His hands gripped my hips roughly, as he pulled me against him. He kissed me deeply again, gently sliding his tongue against mine. I forgot where I was for a second. When he pulled away he left me breathless as my eyes remained closed. I felt his forehead touch mine, "15 minutes." I whispered changing my mind, "Give me 15 minutes and I'm all yours."

I opened my eyes as I felt him pull his face away from mine. He had a satisfied smirk on his face knowing he won. I rolled my eyes, grabbing his hand. "Come on…I'm starving." I said knowing I had lost this battle. But then again having him kiss me like that, having him here with me at this moment, he enjoyed the play, being nice to Ethan, not giving me a hard time about Mark, we were maturing. I was going home with this man where he would worship and bring me pleasure making love to me all night long…I couldn't help but feel a little smug that I was winning too.

 _So nice long chapter for you. Yes Mark is still there and no he isn't going anywhere. I have a few more things to bring about and then Brenda will be leaving for her tour. Thank you for your reviews and for sticking with me, some of you I have known from here or fan sites for many many years, so happy you are still here reading. Hit review, I'm working on a few different chapters on all my stories at the moment._


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 _Enter, stranger, but take heed_

 _Of what awaits the sin of greed,_

 _For those who take, but do not earn,_

 _Must pay most dearly in their turn._

 _So if you seek beneath our floors_

 _A treasure that was never yours,_

 _Thief, you have been warned, beware_

 _Of finding more than treasure there._

 _J.K. Rowling_

Brenda's play had been doing really well. Her and Ethan had gotten rave reviews. She had about 2 to 3 shows a week. I only saw the one. I really enjoyed it and I was telling the truth when I told Brenda it didn't bother me as much as I thought but lets not get carried away. I didn't want to see it over and over. I wasn't as crazy jealous of Ethan anymore. Actually the last month we'd been very civil to one another, even friendly. Brenda's last show was tonight. At least as far as London goes. In two days she would be on a plane to Switzerland for 3 weeks.

Things around here were great. We had spent Christmas eve together. We had our friends over for food. Angie and Tyler played the guitar, we sang carols, we laughed, told stories it was a fun time. Mark didn't come over thank god, he had supposedly flew home for a few weeks for the holidays so it was nice to not have to worry about him. I actually liked Tyler, I don't think I would have gotten to know him very well if Mark didn't leave. Angie and Tyler seemed to be getting back together. From what Brenda told me they were very much in love but they had known each other a long time, like Brenda and myself and always had issues, mostly trust issues it sounded like. They seemed to be on at the moment. Eric and I had become fast friends. He invited me out if the girls were doing girl stuff. He would invite me over to watch soccer, which I wasn't a huge fan of but it was growing on me. He also had found me a decent place to go to meetings. He didn't let me forget what he had seen that day at the bar. I told him I hadn't drank but he still insisted I check the place out. I was thankful because sadly all it took was that mess with Ethan to put that poison in front of me. Eric never told Laura or Brenda where he found me that day and I was thankful because I was embarrassed. It was a stupid decision and cop out. I was thankful to Eric more than he realized for that day and hooking me up with a place to go to meeting again.

On Christmas day, it was just Brenda and me. We opened presents, had a nice brunch, enjoyed our gifts and spent the whole day making love, I finally succeed in taking Brenda on every surface of that apartment that day. New years was a blast to be honest. We all went to the Rumpus Room. It's up on the 12th floor of the Mondrian London, a fancy hotel in town. We celebrated the New Year dressed up, listening to live music, dancing and having phenomenal food. We shared a heated passionate midnight kiss and after making out on the borderline of inappropriate in public, I surprised Brenda with a room in the hotel. Let's just say best New Years ever. I hadn't been in a hotel room with Brenda since we were 16 yrs old. We took advantage of every minute of it. I don't think we got dressed at all. Here it was mid January and she was leaving. I was going to visit, I had already bought a ticket for her last week in Switzerland and I was planning on flying with her to Sweden for a week. Come back home for a couple of weeks, take care of things around here, then meet her in Scotland, which I would stay the whole 3 weeks. I had never been to Scotland so I wanted to experience it. I also didn't tell Brenda yet but I had planned a trip to Paris after the tour. I wanted that to be a surprise, something we could share together.

After my meeting I made my way home. I knew Brenda would be gone already, seeing she always went in to the theater early on show nights. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw a note by our table we kept for mail and our keys by the front door.

 _I hope your meeting was good. Left for the theater. It's the last show so there is a cast party at Angie's. I hope you'll come. I know the guys wanted me to make sure I told you about it. It's at 145 Drury Lane Apt 12, we should be there by 10. Love you baby, Brenda_

I smiled, I missed her already. How whipped was I? I decided to write a little, relax and then I would take a shower and get ready for the party. I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible considering she would be leaving soon. Even though selfishly I wished she would spend all her time with me since she was going to be touring with all those people. I also knew how hard she had worked on the play and she wouldn't want to miss the party. She deserved to go, she was amazing in that play. I also didn't know Brenda had a decent voice. She never had showed interest in singing we we were younger, just acting. She had told me she got a voice coach out here because she wanted to be able to audition for all the plays not just for the non musical's. She worked hard and her voice was good. Landed her this lead in Spring Awakening even.

When I arrived at Angie's about 11pm, I had fallen asleep and was running late. I was surprised how many people were squeezed in Angie's small apartment. It was bigger than Brenda's but still not by that much. There must have been at least 50 people in there. I huddled by the door, scanning the room for her. I didn't want to interrupt what looked like a small jam session in the middle of Angie's living room. I glanced at who was playing and to my surprise Mark was back. He sat next to Angie on the couch, strumming his guitar as Tyler sat with his guitar at her feet. The living roomed clapped with applause when they had finished. Mark played a few chords paying around and then his eyes locked with mine. He smirked a little and took his beer down in a long gulp staring at me. I stared back.

"This next one, Brenda wrote with me. Will you sing with me darlin?" His eyes went towards the right but she was out of my view. I heard her though.

"I'm not singing Mark no way." she waved him off.

"Oh come on Bren…please." he begged. Fucking dick.

I heard people try to talk her into it. A lot of come on Bren…just one. please, rang through the overly crowded living room.

"Fine…fine." I heard her give in. She came into view as she moved and sat next to Mark on the couch.

"What are we singing…you pain in the ass," she laughed. She looked a little drunk to be honest, relaxed and happy.

His eyes met mine again, smug bastard, then he brought his eyes to her. He stared at her as he began the guitar intro, she shyly smiled looking down. She must recognize it. Assuming she did help him write it, but who knows how many times she had done that before. She started singing, low, slow and sexy.

 _If I didn_ _'_ _t know better, I_ _'_ _d hang my hat right there_

 _If I didn_ _'_ _t know better, I_ _'_ _d follow you up the stairs_

He started singing with her. Their eyes never leaving each other's. My heart hurt watching it but like a car accident, my eyes wouldn't look away.

 _Stop saying those sweet things_

 _You know I_ _'_ _d like to hear_

 _The horns are blowing louder_

 _The bailiff's drawing near_

 _Why do I keep drinking_

 _Wasting my time on you_

 _If I didn_ _'_ _t know better_

 _But dammit, I do_

He sang the next verse to her. She swayed a little side to side, then looking into his eyes again.

 _There_ _'_ _s a hole in what you_ _'_ _re saying_

 _I can plainly see_

He looked at me as he sang the next part. Obviously on purpose. He had the most smug smirk I had ever seen. He was enjoying every bit of this and Brenda had no idea I was watching. She wasn't being inappropriate or flirting. Just the simple lyrics to this song, the way they looked at each other when she sang it made my heart hurt. I was seeing first hand how their past was and this song was telling me more than I wanted to know.

 _You've a lover that_ _'_ _s waiting_

 _But, baby, you_ _'_ _re right here with me_

Mother fucker, I thought.

She began on her own.

 _Ooh_

 _You might as well be the devil_

 _Keeping me out past three_

He sang, eyes only on her. Practically making love to her with a look.

 _Well, you_ _'_ _re the one with that apple_

 _But, baby, you can_ _'_ _t blame me_

 _Why don_ _'_ _t you keep drinking_

 _Give me one night with you_

I felt sick at that moment. Picturing them writing this song together, probably in bed. Wanting each other, lusting after each other. Him telling her to stay with him for the night even though she was with someone else. She continued the next verse.

 _If I didn_ _'_ _t know better_

 _But_ _, dammit, I do_

They sang the chorus again together. I felt someone stand next to me, looking to my right I saw Ethan…then Eric next to him. They looked at me almost asking with their eyes what I wanted them to do, their looks concerned and sympathetic. I looked down at their hands as they both carried a drink. Some brown liquid, knowing both of them probably Whiskey. I grabbed Ethan's full drink, since he was closer and shot it back quickly. I saw his hand reach out to stop me but it was too late. I felt the burn hit the back of my throat, then move down my into my stomach. Heat radiating my body, I hadn't had a drink in over a year. It felt and tasted good. Too good.

 _Oh baby_ _I_ _do_

 _Baby, you_ _'_ _re right here with me_

 _Sweet daddy, you know I do_

They finished up the song singing together and the room clapped, hooted and hollered. I looked at Eric seeing the disappointment in his eyes but I was too ticked off to care. I moved through the crowd towards her. Someone had given her a shot and she took it back like a pro. Mark's arm wrapped around her and she leaned into him as he gave her a one armed hug. I finally made it over to her and stood to her left. My hand gripped the top of her arm, her eyes shot up to mine.

She smiled a huge smile. "Dylan!"

I yanked her up from the couch, she looked down at my hand making me let go realizing I had pulled her hard. Her eyes searched mine. She looked nervous. She came into embrace me but I stopped her, "Can I talk to you for a second." I breathed close to her face. The rest of the room seemed to be back in conversation not paying any attention to us. I looked around and saw Mark, Laura, Eric and Ethan staring at us.

"Have you been drinking?" she must have smelled the whiskey, I smelled it on her too. Her eyes pissed now.

I reached down and grabbed her hand to pull her some place more private, she pulled her hand away angrily and walked past me leading the way. She walked down the hall where the bedrooms were and opened one of the doors rushing through it. I followed behind her and shut the door to the bedroom, probably Angie's by the look of the floral bed coverings. She turned and faced me, placing her hands on her hips, she was pissed…but I was freaking pissed too.

"Why are you drinking?" she hissed, clearly she was drunk.

"What the fuck was that out there? Here I come to meet my girlfriend at a party just in time to see her singing a love song with her old boyfriend."

"Oh please…that was nothing." she waved me off.

"Nothing really? Didn't look like nothing Bren."

She swallowed hard knowing I was right, she changed he subject, "Why are you drinking? How long has this been going on?" She spat.

"Since 5 minutes ago." I answered back venom in my voice.

She looked up at the ceiling taking a deep breath and blowing it out loudly.

"I didn't even want to come to this stupid party…" I began

"Then why did you?" she yelled interrupting me.

I looked at her, I didn't want to do this here. I didn't want to do this at all, she was leaving in two days. I took a deep breath to calm me. "Because…you're leaving and I want to spend every minute with you before you go." my voice now sincere filled with honesty.

Her stare softened. She moved quickly towards me, wrapping her arms around my neck. She hugged me tightly, as I buried my face in her hair. "I'm sorry." she whispered.

"Me too baby." I whispered back my hand rubbing down her back.

She pulled out from me but kept her arms around my neck, "It was _just_ a song Dylan."

"Was it?" I asked really needing to know. "Just a song you wrote with him?"

"Yes…it was a long time ago. I'm with you…I'm yours you know that."

I knew this, it just didn't feel good to watch that. To watch them together so intimately. Their chemistry evident. "I know." I said softly. I pulled her against my chest and kissed her deeply. My hands gripping her back, as I felt her fingers run through my hair at the back of my head. She backed away and her stare was one of concern.

"The drinking Dylan?" Her eyes imploring mine, worried.

"I'm fine Bren…I promise."

She searched my eyes for a few moments and nodded. I knew she wasn't convinced 100% but it looked like she wanted to believe me. She was a little drunk herself, I tasted the booze on her breath as we kissed. Not sure if she hadn't been so loose she would have dropped it that quickly. All the same I'd take it, I really didn't want to fight with her. Weirdly I was fine after that shot, I know you don't grow out of alcoholism and I did a stint in rehab not that long ago. Looks like I could have one after all, I had no urge to drink more. That was my problem though, it never was just one. I made a promise I was fine and I would keep that promise and not test the waters. I reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly, we went back to the party but only stayed for a bit. We ignored the concerned looks of our friends and I especially ignored Eric and Ethan. I just joined the party as best as I could with Brenda on my lap as we listened to them play music the rest of the night. I saw Mark's eyes on us, looking at us disappointed that his little song show didn't effect us as he wanted. I had a feeling he was waiting for a freak out. A huge scene that maybe occurred with Brenda's other boyfriends or even Ethan. He had told me I was a better man than he that night at the bar and I was now wondering about that. Did he have jealous freak outs and now this guy expected me to do it too? I would assume that would satisfy his need to piss me the fuck off, I wasn't going to do that and give him the satisfaction. When we got home an hour later Brenda hadn't drank more around me but she passed out cold still feeling the effects of her celebrating. That was the first night we didn't have sex since getting together here. It wouldn't be the last considering she was about to be without me for the next couple of weeks. I had hoped we weren't starting a trend.

Brenda and I had spent a lot of time together before she left. We went out on a dates, had picnics and took long walks. We tried to soak in as much together time as we possibly could. I watched her packing for the tour and I decided to go to a meeting. I was keeping my promise to her and she liked that I was going to more meetings and taking it serious. Sadly I had to start over again on being sober. Even though it was just that one drink I was back at 2 days sober now. When before that stupid drink I was over a year without one. I was disappointed in myself. After the meeting I got home to a house full of girls, the entrance to the apartment full of suitcases and duffel bags. I smiled at them as I set my keys on the table.

"Hey Dylan." Laura, Angie and Veronica said in unison.

"Hey ladies, How's it going?" I looked around and Brenda must have been in our bedroom because they were all hovered around Angie who had a guitar on her lap and a notebook.

"Just wastin time before the buses get to the theatre." Angie said and strummed her guitar.

"You writing a song?" I asked taking a seat next to her.

"I'm tryin…but stuck. Hey Bren says you write, mind takin a look?"

"I know nothing about writing music." I said honestly.

Laura and Veronica had got up to take their dirty cups to the kitchen leaving Angie and myself on the couch. I picked up her notebook and read the lyrics she had written. It was similar to writing poetry but there was an obvious chorus and a few versus. She began to play what she had so far. Her pretty voice filling the apartment.

"In your heart, in your head, in your arms… I'm so stuck on this chorus." UGH. She grunted.

I thought about it. "In your bed under your skin." I added saying it without punishing her with my singing voice.

She smiled, "Yes!" She added it in singing it through.

"In your heart, in your head, in your arms, in your bed…under your skin. Till there's no way to know where you end…" She stared at me while singing.

"And where I begin." I finished. Her smile lovely, her eyes bright.

"I wanna melt in I wanna soak through. I only wanna move when you move. I wanna breathe out when you breathe in then I wanna fade into you." She belted. "Oh my god." She screeched her southern drawl strong. "Dylan…that's amazin thank you!" She was practically vibrating in her seat.

Her singing had gotten the attention of the girls and as I laughed at how happy Angie was, I noticed Laura, Veronica and Brenda in the doorway. The girls had smiles on their faces witnessing the finished chorus and the ending verse. Brenda looked concerned, maybe jealous even? That's ridiculous though I wasn't doing anything. I pushed that look aside thinking I was mistaken.

"Oh my god y'all Dylan just helped me, you guys know how long this song has been keepin me stuck."

"I see that." Brenda said, tone short and bothered. I looked at her oddly. My eyes on Brenda I didn't notice Angie pick up my journal opening it to a random page in the middle.

"Is this your writin?"

"Oh Angie, its just me playing around." I tried to grab it from her but she held it out of reach getting up. She read through the page and I suddenly grew nervous and bit the nail and skin on the side of my thumb. No one had read my scribbles but Brenda and I'm pretty sure she was a little biased considering a lot or most of what I had written here in London was about her.

"Dylan…this is incredible." she commented without looking up from the page.

Brenda had made her way over and climbed in my lap. She still had a strange look I wasn't sure what it meant. I looked at her tryin to read her, then my glance went to Angie.

"Angie…that's Dylan's private thoughts." Brenda chimed in.

"No I know…I'm truly sorry for crossing the line, just hear me out ok?" I wasn't actually mad she read my journal just a little embarrassed about it. Maybe Brenda was more bothered by it than me? That's weird. She sat down on the couch again and grabbed her guitar. She left my journal open on the coffee table leaning close enough she could play and read. I quickly saw what poem she was referring too. It was one I had written just yesterday. She began with a rift and then she started putting my poem to music.

"Used to spend my nights out in a bar room

Liquor was the only love I've known

But you rescued me from reachin' for the bottom

And brought me back from being too far gone.

You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey

You're as sweet as strawberry wine

You're as warm as a glass of brandy

And honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time

I've looked for love in all the same old places

Found the bottom of a bottle always dry

But when you poured out your heart I didn't waste it

'Cause there's nothing like your love to get me high

You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey

Tennessee whiskey." She repeated the lines from the beginning. She made a song.

She smiled at us. I wrote that after a meeting, I had come home and surprised Brenda in the shower just yesterday. After taking her in in that shower way to quick for my liking, I carried her wet and warm body to our bed. Where I finished her off with my mouth where I left her shaking in orgasm. She had dozed off shortly after and I wrote that poem feeling high from our love making.

"You wrote that for me?" Brenda eyes softened as she looked into mine.

I nodded shyly leaning in and taking her lips to mine.

"Dylan…can I show this to the guys? I mean its like nothing we have."

I shook my head, "I don't know Angie, I'm not a song writer. There just stupid poems, feelings that I get out in my journal."

"What do you think song writin is Dylan? They are thoughts, feeling we just add a chorus, a tag. They are like poems." She stared at me, begging me with her eyes.

"Guys we have to be at the theater in 20 minutes." Brenda interrupted Angie's plead. Her tone short again as she got off my lap.

Angie nodded sticking her guitar in its case. "When are you comin to Switzerland?"

"A couple weeks." I got up, seeing I was going to help the girls with their bags and see them off.

"Bring your journal, we are not done with this Dylan. You're talented, I would love to sit down on our breaks when we are on tour, play some of this for Tyler. You know, this stuff in this notebook is too good not to let people hear it."

I laughed shaking my head, "Alright…songbird. Whatever you say. As long as I don't have to sing it." I joked.

Brenda looked between us, her hand on her hip, she wasn't happy. I didn't make a big deal by getting into the looks she was making towards me and Angie. I wasn't sure Angie even noticed her being pretty excited about her finished song and the hopes of new ones but something told me this would come up again. Brenda was clearly jealous.

We gathered at the front of the theatre. The cast piling their suitcases and bags up for them to be loaded in the bus. They were driving to Heathrow where they would board and head to Switzerland. My arms wrapped tightly around Brenda's waist. I hated having to say goodbye. We leaned in to one another, touching our lips together in a soft and slow kiss. I groaned it turning me on and thinking about being in the bed without her for two weeks.

"I'm going to miss you." She whispered against my lips.

I embraced her in a tight hug, "I know baby…I'm going to miss you too." My hand running down the back of her head. I felt her kiss my neck. "I'll see you in two weeks." I leaned away from her, my hands gripping at her hips.

"I'll be counting down the days." She smiled, leaning in and giving me a soft peck. She smiled mid kiss, kissing me over and over.

"Brenda…Dylan…nice to see you on this fine afternoon." Brenda and I separated our lips from one another, both turning to the left as Mark stood there. Looking at us with a smirk with his guitar on his back.

"What are you doing here?" Brenda asked leaning out from me a little.

"You didn't hear? Toby's mom had a stroke. He flew to Ireland this morning, she is okay but he couldn't leave his sister and family to take care of her alone. I'm taking his place in the band." Brenda's musical played live music.

You have got to be fucking kidding me. I looked at Brenda her eyes meeting mine.

"See you on the bus Bren…I'll save you a seat." Mark looked between us with a smile and climbed with his guitar into the bus. Fucking smug piece of shit.

"Are you fucking kidding me Bren?" I said in a hushed harsh whisper.

"Dylan…" she looked at me trying to calm me with her eyes. "You have to trust me."

I laughed out loud looking to the sky before meeting her eyes again, "I do trust you Bren…I don't fucking trust him."

"Shhh…I know." she tried to quiet me, she didn't want a scene and I really didn't either it was just my reaction to this shit. "Hey…I love you…you know that." her hand went to caress my cheek.

I took a deep breath, "I don't like this Brenda." I shook my head, "I don't like this at all."

"I know." she whispered, "Me either but its just the way it goes. You don't have anything to worry about baby." She reassured me.

"Come on Brenda…all aboard." Aaron called out from the bus opening. He waved his hand toward himself motioning to come along.

"I love you." Brenda set her forehead against mine.

"I love you." I whispered back, every inch of my body radiating that this was fucked up.

She leaned in kissing me like it was our last kiss. Her tongue mixed with mine. I grabbed her roughly giving in to that kiss and showing her she was mine. I secretly hoped Mark that dick was watching from the bus windows. I did trust her, I did not trust him and with me not around I knew he would be pulling out all the stops when it came to her. She pulled out with a knowing smile.

"Mmmm…you keep kissing me like that I might say to hell with this tour." she joked.

"Please do." I joked back.

She chuckled, "Bye Dylan." she said shaking her head backing away from me.

I looked in her eyes sadly, "Bye Bren, call me when you land." I said softly as I watched her walk backwards towards the bus. She turned and stepped up on the doors ledge, blew me a kiss and in she went. I watched as the bus pulled away from the curb a moment later. I held my hand up and waved hoping she was watching. I stuck my hands in my pockets turning on my heels to walk home. I swear to god this was my fucking luck. These two weeks had better go by quickly and that fucking asshole Mark better keep his smug ass grin to himself and his dick in his pants.

 _Sooo the plot thickens. I apologize for the poems and songs but for some reason I imagine Brenda's friends artsy and in that world. I mean they are all actors or musicians. They all went to a performing arts school. I grew up in the dance world and everyone I associated with was artsy in a way. I even went to an art school for college. Anyway tell me what your thinking. Next up Brenda on tour._


	14. Chapter 14

_Chapter 14_

 _I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping_

 _While my guitar gently weeps_

 _I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping_

 _Still my guitar gently weeps_

 _I don't know why nobody told you_

 _How to unfold your love_

 _I don't know how someone controlled you_

 _They bought and sold you_

 _I look at the world and I notice it's turning_

 _While my guitar gently weeps_

 _With every mistake we must surely be learning_

 _Still my guitar gently weeps_

 _The Beatles_

We had gotten to Switzerland with no issues. It had been a awkward bus ride to the airport but I stuck by Laura and Eric ignoring Mark. By the time we got to our hotel I was tired and went straight to my room to call Dylan. Our cast had taken over the whole 6th floor. People had their doors ajar, welcoming anyone who wanted to party or hang out to do so. If I wasn't so weirded out about Mark joining us on this tour I probably would have taken advantage. This was my first tour, it had energy and excitement that was missed when you did a run of a play at home. I wouldn't' be totally anti-social but I knew I would feel better calling Dylan. I set my suitcase down and walked over to the bedside table picking up the phone. I called collect, I knew Dylan would pitch in for the bill later. He'd been handling those things anyway since I had been pretty busy with the play this past month. It rang twice and his voice was music to my ears.

"Hello."

"Hey you." I said with a smile. "We made it safe and sound."

"Good to hear, how was the flight?"

"It was uneventful thank god." I swallowed hard wondering if he was going to bring up Mark.

"So…everything okay?" Alright this was his way of bringing it up.

"Everything is great. You should hear the halls around here, it's like living on campus all over again." I laughed.

Dylan was quiet

"I haven't even talked to him Dylan." I sighed.

"I didn't say anything."

"Oh I know what your thinking. I don't have to be in the same room as you to know what's going on in that sexy head of yours."

He chuckled, "Ok…you're right. I just want him to leave you alone Bren."

I sighed knowing better, "He probably won't, but you have to trust me that I will set him straight. Dylan I'm with you. I love you. He doesn't have anything I want."

"You sure have some history though. That song…"

"Oh come on Dylan, like you don't have history with other women?"

He sighed, "No I know…I just miss you already."

I smiled into the phone, "I miss you too. This bed is pretty big and comfy. We could have a lot of fun in it I'm sure." my voice sexy.

He groaned, "Well keep my side cold until I get there."

I laughed, "I will."

"You better." His voice now soft and sad.

A loud knock on the door broke my attention. "Hey Dylan someone is knocking on my door. I'm in room 654. I left the number to the hotel on the kitchen counter, call me ok? Coming." I yelled to the door.

"Brenda?" he stopped me, "I love you."

"I love you too Dylan." I said reassuring him. "Talk to you later tonight." Another loud knock.

We said out goodbyes and I rushed to the door. I grabbed the handle pulling it towards me, there stood Mark. He had his signature smirk, I bit my lip and checked him out a little. With all the uncomfortable times we had crossed paths this was the first time I really looked at him. He stood tall, thin, his hair done just so. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt that showed off his faint muscles in his arms and jeans riding low on his hips. He stood with his hands in his pockets.

"Hey beautiful." his voice sultry.

I cleared my throat, "Hi Mark...what can I do for you?"

"A bunch of us are meeting in my room, having some drinks, playing some tunes. I wanted to personally invite you to come hang out with us." he smiled.

"We'll see." I said to please him.

"Fair enough." He looked down shyly before bringing his eyes to mine again. "You know Bren…we used to be friends."

I laughed at that, "We were never just friends Mark."

He tried not to smile knowing it was true. "Well fine we were more than friends but we still told each other stuff, hung out. Don't tell me just because you have this boyfriend now means that we can't try to be friends."

I looked at him and swallowed, I didn't need anymore friends but didn't want to be a bitch about it. "Let me unwind a little, I'll stop by." I agreed.

He nodded and smiled, "K good…I want to play that song I wrote for you, I'm right next door."

I nodded again accepting, next fucking door UGH seriously? "See you later." I grabbed the door to close it. He put his hand on the door and stopped it. He leaned in and I froze.

His hot lips hit my cheek, I heard him breathe me in and exhale. He pulled out slowly, serious now which I rarely saw. "You know I loved you right?"

I shook my head, "No you didn't."

"Yeah I did…I do. I know I didn't show it but…"

"Mark…please don't. I'm happy with Dylan. He's always been it for me."

Mark nodded sadly, "I know…I see that. I just thought you should know…because I sure as hell didn't tell you back then and I should have. I should have told you how special you were to me. I do love you."

I took a deep breath, "Well…thanks, it would have been nice to hear then." I had no idea what to say to that. He had never told me that he loved me…never. I had never told him those words either. He nodded and headed down the hallway, fucking next door. I closed the door and leaned my back against it. I rubbed down my face exhausted already and here we just got here. It was going to be a long couple of weeks. It didn't matter what Mark was saying, nothing changed. I just wasn't sure I knew how to be his friend, our relationship had always been so intimate. I also knew Dylan would never allow it. Not that he had a say in who was my friends but I cared about Dylan too much to put him through it. If the roles were reversed I would never stand for it. I proceeded to unpack and I took a bath. Hearing the commotion outside I kept my word and stopped by. I stood smiling in the doorway. Ethan and Eric talked in the corner, Angie and Laura were dancing around, while Tyler and Mark played music. I loved this. I did. When I moved to London, meeting these people was so different than Beverly Hills. My friends there were always so caught up in themselves and the drama that followed. These people were real, they were nice and outgoing. They made you feel like you knew them your whole life. They made music, sang together, we had fun. They brought all aspects of art out of me. I would have never sat around and sang with the gang in L.A. I would have never dated a musician probably. I was surrounded by talented people that wanted to share it with everyone around them.

"Brenda…bout damn time girly. Want a drink?" Mark called out still strumming his guitar playing nothing in particular.

I laughed and nodded, "Sure." I agreed making my way into the hotel room.

Many drinks later, many dances with the girls and I was having a blast. It was nice to just let go and truly celebrate our accomplishments. I was having a good time at that party before Dylan came in and we argued opening night. I missed him but part of me was sort of glad he wasn't coming out for a couple weeks. I loved being back together with him, I loved the new relationship, more grown up, living together but I didn't want to lose myself. I had lived away from the comforts of home for a while now and I wanted to have my life I had worked hard to have and Dylan.

Eric and Laura retired to their room. Ethan was on his way out. "Want me to walk you back?" he offered. I knew what he was doing.

"You don't have to babysit me Ethan…I'm fine."

He looked at me and nodded his head, "Okay…good night Bren." he said knowingly.

"You know I'm sorry about everything." I said having some liquid courage.

He took a deep breath knowing what I was saying, "I know. I forgive you." He smiled, "Just don't make the same mistakes you know?"

I laughed, "I know. Thanks." I wrapped my arm tightly around his neck and hugged him. He was a good guy. I honestly didn't deserve his friendship after the way I treated him.

"Night Brenda." he smirked and left to go to his room.

I looked up and caught Mark looking at me, he smiled and motioned to the couch to join him. Angie and Tyler were making out on the bed, cuddling not paying much attention to us.

"Can I play that song for you? Angie…come sing the new one with me." He called out. They got out of bed and Tyler sat in the chair facing us, as Angie crawled into his lap. This was like old times, us four. It was eerily familiar and a tad too comforting.

"So I wrote the first half of this song when I left for our tour. Then the second half when I came back after seeing you at the show. I wrote it as a duet though." He shyly smiled. This was something I was very used to. Mark wrote me songs all the time. I'd say half their set had some kind of meaning or memory attached to it. Mark started to play and started off the first verse.

" _Living my life in a slow hell_

 _Different girl every night at the hotel_

 _I ain't seen the sunshine in three damn days_

 _Been_ _fueling up on cocaine and whiske_ _y_

 _Wish I had a good girl to miss me_

 _Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways_

 _I put your picture away_

 _Sat down and cried today_

He stared at me, singing to me. It made sense this was after he left I guessed, even though I wouldn't have thought he even cared or thought of me. It sure sounded like him. Especially the part where he had a lot of girls. Being on tour I could only imagine.

 _I can't look at you_

 _While I'm lying next to her_

 _I put your picture away_

 _Sat down and cried today_

 _I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her_

Angie smiled, as she started singing. She sang to Tyler, the worlds explaining their separation when he left to go on tour as well. They had a weird relationship. It was volatile and electric. They had a lot of trust issues. When they fought, they fought big, they broke up a lot and they would see other people. Then they would come back together. I don't know how she did it, it seemed exhausting. You didn't have to know them as well as I did to know that their love was deep. This song, even though written by Mark seemed to know what Angie had been going through while Tyler was gone.

 _I called you last night in the hotel_

 _Everyone knows but they won't tell_

 _But their half-hearted smiles tell me something just ain't right_

 _I've been waiting on you for a long time_

 _Fueling up on heartaches and cheap wine_

 _I ain't heard from you in three damn nights_

 _I put your picture away_

 _I wonder where you been_

 _I can't look at you while I'm lying next to him_

 _I put your picture away_

 _I wonder where you been_

 _I can't look at you while I'm lying next to him_

Mark played a instrumental part with his guitar. I found myself hitting my thigh to the beat as he got into it. He really was such a talented guitar player. Angie and Tyler were having a moment. Something told me this song had a very true meaning for them.

 _I saw you yesterday with an old friend_

 _It was the same old same how have you been_

 _Since you've been gone my world's been dark and grey_

 _You reminded me of brighter days_

 _I hoped you were coming home to stay_

 _I was headed to church_

 _I was off to drink you away_

I smiled as he sang the last part. This song would have had me taking off my clothes in 5 seconds if this was 5 months ago. I sadly knew this all too well.

 _I thought about you for a long time_

 _Can't seem to get you off my mind_

 _I can't understand why we're living life this way_

 _I found your picture today_

 _I swear I'll change my ways_

 _I just called to say I want you to come back home_

 _I found your picture today_

 _I swear I'll change my ways_

 _I just called to say I want you_

 _To come back home_

Mark leaned forward and smirked then he sang the last line.

 _I just called to say I love you_

 _Come back home."_

I took a deep breath. Tyler and Angie started making out again. Obviously the song worked for them. I smiled a soft smile at him and started clapping.

"Did you like it?" he said softly.

I nodded a little uncomfortable at the attention yet it was familiar at the same time. "I did."

"I started it after I left." he chuckled, "I found pictures of us in my bag. I had packed them up before I had met every one to get on the tour bus. It was that roll we took at my house. The night of the music festival." I blushed and he smiled seeing it. Crap.

"Anyway I spent all night looking at the pictures. We just looked so happy, cuddling, laughing. I realized every time I was hooking up with some groupie or something, I just couldn't stop thinking about you and how much I fucked up. It didn't help that some of the pictures were amazing jerk off material, so that kept me going for a while." he smiled and I blushed. I brought my hand to smack him playfully and he grabbed it holding it tenderly. My eyes stared at our attached hands then my eyes found him. He had an intense look full of lust and need. I looked away quickly.

"I should go." I said softly.

He let go of my hand and nodded sadly, "Yeah." agreeing.

I got up rubbing my palms on the thigh of my jeans. We heard a moan coming from the chair and saw Tyler and Angie in a heavy make out with hands groping each other. Mark and my eyes met and we laughed.

"I'll walk you back." he said with a chuckle. "I'll give them a few minutes."

I nodded as we headed out into the hall. The walk was short considering he really was next door. I took my key out of my pocket and inserted it into the door. It clicked and I pushed it open. I turned to him, the look he gave me was all too familiar.

"I had a good time. Thanks for getting me out of my room."

He nodded, "Of course…it's not a party without you."

"I don't know about that but thanks still."

I looked at him and he stared down at his boots before looking back at me. The mood changing so quickly. "You okay?" I asked.

He took a deep breath, "You love this guy Bren?"

I nodded quickly, "I really do. I'm sorry about that. Dylan and I have a lot of history."

"Right…high school sweethearts, I remember." he playfully rolled his eyes. "We have a lot of history too."

I stared at him, "I know." I said softly, "But that's what it is it's history. Mark…you left me without even saying goodbye. I mean how much could I have really meant to you?"

He exhaled, "I know…I fucked up. I would take it back if I could. I really really would. Brenda…I didn't know…I didn't know how to say goodbye to you."

"It's done and it's in the past, I'm not mad about it. I've moved on from it. I'm sorry."

He looked up at the ceiling taking it in and when his eyes met mine they were glassy with tears. Holy shit. Mark had always been a sensitive guy with intense feelings, probably why he wrote such beautiful songs but I hadn't seen him like this. He had the sex appeal and charm to get girls, he didn't have to show this side. As a reaction I went in to hug him. His face went into my neck as we embraced tightly. As we slowly broke apart I gave him a smile. He leaned in bringing his lips to my forehead, "Night Bren." he turned quickly and went back to his room.

"Night." I said to know one cause he was already gone. I closed the door and exhaled the breath that some how I was keeping in. I walked over to my bed and dramatically flopped on it. My back hitting the mattress, bouncing a bit. I looked to the phone, picking it up and dialed my house, not even looking at the time. I knew it was late and a scruffy half asleep voice answered.

"Bren?"

"I'm sorry I woke you." I said quietly.

I heard him stretch as he talked, "It's ok, I called you earlier."

"Yeah I was hanging out with everyone. Look go back to sleep, I just wanted to say good night."

"You okay Bren?"

"I am now." I smiled.

"I love you." he said quietly.

"Me too. I'll call you tomorrow."

"K…night Bren." he said still sleepy.

"Night." I sighed out. reaching the phone and setting it on the hook. I took a deep breath looking at the ceiling. In that moment I heard the sound of a guitar, playing a slow sad song. I listened for a a couple minutes it being so clear through the wall, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep while his guitar gently weeped.

 _Do you hate me, was Mark a tad bit more likable in this chapter? EEK. Sorry for that. I know some of you will still hate his guts and others might be like ugh falling for the sad boy crap. Well whatever you feel please review and let me know. I do want to say, Brenda and Dylan aren't breaking up. I have no intention of making this London relationship a breaking up to making up story. But I think that they both are going to experience what its like to deal with each others pasts and being mature and talking through things. If there wasn't some drama it would be pretty boring. Next up we get to see a little of Dylan in London alone and how he's doing. Thanks for reading, I love you guys! Hit review. I hope you are liking the quick updates. Review review...the next chapter is done and waiting for you to review so I can post it :) hint hint hint_


	15. Chapter 15

_Rated N…for naughty. :)_

Chapter 15

 _The time will come_

 _when, with elation,_

 _you will greet yourself arriving_

 _at your own door, in your own mirror,_

 _and each will smile at the other's welcome,_

 _And say, sit here. Eat._

 _You will love again the stranger who was yourself._

 _Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart_

 _to itself, to the stranger who has loved you_

 _all your life, whom you ignored_

 _for another, who knows you by heart._

 _Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,_

 _the photographs, the desperate notes,_

 _peel your own image from the mirror._

 _Sit. Feast on your life._

I clapped with the group. Looking around at everyone's concerned faces after hearing the last speaker.

"Dylan…you going to go today?"

"Uh Yeah…sure." I took a deep breath rubbing my hands to my thighs as I got up and headed to the podium. I cleared my throat. "Hi I'm Dylan and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi Dylan." everyone said.

"This is my first time talking and I've been sober for 7 days." People clapped like it was such an accomplishment.

"I actually had a relapse a week ago. Not my proudest moment. I had been sober for over a year before that. It was one drink, a spur of the moment decision that I regret now  
having to start all over. I mean I can't even relapse right. Should have got tanked beyond recognition, maybe then I could carry on hating myself and it would be okay starting over again." a few people chuckled and nodded knowing where I was coming from. "But it wasn't, it was one drink of stupidity. I've been living in London for the past few months and I got back together with an old girlfriend who moved here a couple years ago. It feels weird to call her an old girlfriend because she seems so much more important than that title. We've picked up better than where we left off and things are really good in that department. I guess the problem I'm having is more with myself. I'm still trying to find myself in this new city. I feel like everything I have is because Brenda has it. Her friends, her hobbies, even her apartment. I guess its stupid because I didn't really know who I was before coming here anyway so its dumb to assume I'd find it here. I'm having a rough time, she is away on tour with her theatre company and I have way too much time to think. Think about her, being lonely, what she's doing with her stupid ex boyfriend that is on the tour too." People laughed causing me to smile. "You think you know someone, then you find out something about them that you wouldn't have guessed. Or the type of person they date after you. I trust my girlfriend, I don't trust other people though. I also don't trust my luck. It's just been going to well. Is it possible to question the good things that are in your life, the people and assume it will all fall apart? Maybe thats why I drank to begin with. Anyway thanks for listening and helping me work the program. I'm glad I did something right when moving here, besides my new relationship coming here was right. Thanks." I looked down and walked to my seat. Everyone clapped being supportive like they always were. There were a few other speakers and soon the meeting was over. I walked home stopping in front of a coffee shop a block away from the apartment. I went in and made it to the counter ordering myself a black coffee to go. As I waited for them to get my order together I glanced around at the coffee shop. There was a couple cuddling on the couch, whispering to one another so privately intimate I felt rude staring. There was a woman typing away on a typewriter, who knows maybe writing the next great British literature novel. There was a man and a women in the corner writing on a yellow legal pad, with a guitar writing music. I thought about what Angie had said. Maybe I could give it a try, I mean what else was I doing that was very productive. It seemed in the West End everyone had a creative outlet. It was worth a shot. I grabbed my coffee the woman had set on the counter and headed home.

As I pushed open the front door, I heard the phone ringing, as I tripped over a pair of converse I left out. "Coming coming shit." I cursed throwing down my keys and hurrying to the phone. It had to be Brenda, no one else called here and everyone we knew was in Switzerland.

"Hello…Bren?" I answered a bit out of breath.

"Hello?" a familiar voice responded. "Dylan? Is that you?"

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

"Mrs. Walsh? Uh Hi…how are you?"

"Good…Dylan?" she laughed a little, "It's good to hear your voice, you're visiting Brenda?"

"Un actually Bren is in Switzerland…on tour. I'm watching things around here for her."

"Oh thats right. Silly me, she mentioned the tour a month ago or so when we caught up."

Silence, I could practically hear her mind wander. I opened my mouth to break it when she began again.

"I just talked to Brandon, he said you had left but no one knew where you were? He didn't mention you were in London." I wasn't going to get out of this one.

"Cindy…um no one knows I'm here. I met up with Brenda during my travels and been here ever since. I'd appreciate it if maybe…we could keep this between us…for now?"

"Oh… sure sure…I understand. Well I'm glad you are doing okay. I'm so sorry to hear about Antonia."

I took a deep breath, now was not the time to tell Cindy Walsh about Brenda and I. "Yes thank you. I'm doing okay. Just needed to get away from LA for a bit. Look I'll tell Brenda you called." God help me, I didn't want to get into my dead wife or my back on relationship with her daughter.

Cindy was quiet for a few beats, "Dylan?" she sighed, "I'm glad you have Brenda to get you through this. I'm sure she was so tickled to see you after all this time. You two have always had a special relationship. You're secret is safe with me and yes please have Brenda check in with me if she calls home."

I was surprised, "Yes…of course. Thank you Mrs. Walsh."

"Bye bye Dylan."

"Um bye." I clicked off the phone a little surprised. Why did I have a feeling poor Brenda was going to get a concerned phone call from her father. That's all we needed. But God I loved that woman, her husband I could live without, even though he meant well. I picked up the phone and dialed the hotel. Guess I should warn Brenda, in case she catches up with her mom or ugh Brandon…or worse…good Ol Jimbo. I glanced at the clock making note of the time as the phone rang and rang. Her show wasn't tonight and it was getting kind of late there, I wondered where she could be. I was about to hang up when a winded Brenda answered the phone.

"Hello." she said out of breath.

"Hey." I laughed, "Where were you?" she sounded so out of breath I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Sorry." she breathed out. "I heard my phone ringing from next door, I rushed over here as fast as I could to get it. Woooh." she breathed out, "I need to exercise." she laughed.

I laughed with her, "Next door? Who's next door? One of the girls?"

"Ah…well…not really." Her voice went up an octave, that was a weird answer.

"Okay…not really? What does that mean?" I smiled thinking what a weirdo she was being. I was not fucking prepared at all for what came out of her mouth next.

"Mark's room is next door everyone is there it is kind of the main hang out so far. We are just all talking and playing a game at the moment." She said freaking so fast, I was still stuck on Mark's room.

"Mark's room? You're hanging out in Mark's room?"

"Dylan…please don't be mad, everyone is there. What am I suppose to sit in my room by myself? That's not fair." she whined.

I groaned out, "Yes you are." she laughed and I rolled my eyes cause she knew I wasn't serious or half serious anyway.

"I'm so glad you called." her voice sultry.

"Why is that?" I had sexy in my voice too, god damn I was horny all of a sudden. Why did I get the urge to claim her every time I was jealous?

"Mmmmm…" she moaned. My fucking god.

"What are you doing right now Bren?" I was trying to picture it as I walked with the cordless to our bed.

"Laying down in my bed…thinking about you and me…together."

I laid down and closed my eyes, exhaling, picturing doing the same.

"What are we doing together?" I reached down and adjusted. My erection growing as we spoke.

"You're touching me. Licking me. Kissing me." I groaned, god I missed her.

"I wish I was." I said low and slowly. "Can you do something for me?" I said almost in a whisper.

"I'd do anything for you." her tone matched mine.

"Take your hand, run it down your stomach, then back up slowly. Grab your right breast and squeeze it." her breathing uneven as she moaned softly. I closed my eyes seeing her perfectly in my mind. I reached down unbuttoning the button fly on my jeans. My dick sprang to life finally being freed from the denim hell it was imprisoned in.

"Dylan" he whispered.

"What are you wearing?" I was picturing her in a dress and hoped my thoughts were right.

"I'm wearing that black floral dress you bought me, the one with the buttons in front." Perfect I thought. I loved that dress it was short as fuck.

"Bring your hand down your stomach again, open your legs for me baby." my voice staying low and steady. "Touch yourself."

I heard silence then the most lovely heavy breathing I had ever heard. My hand went directly to my member. I gripped it running my hand up and then back down slowly. I breathed out into the phone. "Are you wet for me baby?" I whispered.

"So wet." she breathed back.

I knew she was doing long slow circles on herself, I'd seen it enough times."Faster." My eyes were closed again, I could perfectly picture her and I felt my hand pick up pace as I heard her breathe through the phone faster.

"It feels so good." Brenda moaned.

"Faster baby." her moans became louder. I picked up the pace on my own self pleasuring. Getting closer as the tightness in my balls grew stronger.

"I'm going to cum." she breathed out, heavy breathing was all I heard. Heavy lust laden pants, I ran my hand up and down my dick faster, panting with her. Pretending it was her hand on me. My eyes closed I concentrated on the noises she made. Heightening my pleasure, building it up until I heard the most delicious cry come through the phone setting me over the edge as I grunted out spilling my seed onto my hand and my stomach. I breathed out catching my breath as I listened to her do the same.

"I wish you were here so bad." she sounded like she ached for me, even though it sounded like she had release.

"I would have given anything to see that in person." I said back. Lust still evident in my voice.

Through the silence and breathes I heard banging on the wall. "Oh shit." she whispered.

"What was that?" I asked grabbing a towel off the floor, no I wasn't the cleanest person while she was gone. I cleaned myself up and waited for her response.

"Shit…I think they heard me. Oh my god how embarrassing." she muttered.

"Who heard you?" then it dawned on me who she shared a wall with.

"We hear you naughty girl…you need some help in there?" I heard a male voice yell. Oh fuck you. Thanks for ruining our moment jack ass. His voice all too familiar. Help her? I got this mother fucker.

"Oh my god." she started laughing. Glad someone thought it was funny. I sat silent not feeling amused at all. "I'm never going to be able to leave my room now." She said in a hushed whisper still laughter behind her voice.

"Good." I said too short.

"Dylan." she said, I knew the tone she thought I was being ridiculous.

"Well…I better go, let you get back to your games." no pun intended.

"Come on Dylan, don't go. I was having fun talking to you. Don't be mad."

I sighed, "I hate this Bren…I fucking hate it. I know I'm being a baby but this is torture." my voice sounded tortured that's for sure.

"I know. I'm sorry. The walls are thin. I didn't mean to upset you. I really miss you."

"Well…tell him payback is a bitch, he'll be wishing those walls were thicker when I get there in a week." Alright now I was truly being a baby.

She laughed, "Mmmmmm…what are you going to do to me?" she started it back up.

I laughed, "Forget it, I don't want that dick stain hearing you."

She laughed at my wording. "I wish you were here." she said serious.

"You do?"

"Yeah…I hate sleeping alone now."

"You going to go back to the party?"

"Hell no." she laughed, "I'm serious I'm never leaving this room again. There is only like 10 people next door." she said sarcastic and clearly embarrassed.

"Is it wrong I wish that were true?" I asked her being serious.

"No…not wrong." there was silence for too many beats and I almost thought I lost her. "Dylan?"

"Yes my love?" glad she was still there.

"I think you're an amazing man." I was taken back.

"Why is that?"

"Just…I don't think I would take this whole situation as well as you do. I know for a fact you are taking it better than other guys."

"Yeah well…you're there, I'm here…nothing I can do about that sadly."

"I guess not…but still…you're amazing."

I smiled, "You are pretty amazing too."

"No wonder we make such a great couple then." she joked and I laughed. "I can't wait to see you."

"You have no idea how fast I hope this week goes."

"Good night Dylan." she said her low sexy voice back.

"Wait Bren." I almost forgot.

"Yeah?"

"Uh your mom called…I answered thinking it was you. She knows obviously that I'm here with you."

"Oh…great. There goes living in our own little world."

"I don't know…something tells me she won't say anything."

"I guess we'll see."

"Does that bother you?"

"No… me being in love with Dylan McKay is not a secret. Especially as far as my parents are concerned." she had humor in her voice.

"I guess not. Well now I guess my love for you isn't a secret either."

She laughed a small quiet laugh, "No…I guess it's not, who are you kidding it never was." She laughed

I chuckled, "Well that's true."

"Good night Dylan."

"Good night Bren." I heard the phone click and I rested it on my chest. This or whatever I was feeling was new even though I had loved her since I could remember. I got up out of bed and re-buttoned my fly. I wandered into the living room grabbing my journal. I thought about what I had decided at the coffee shop and started writing. At least I'd have something to show Angie when I got to Zurich. If it was all crap it would be ok. I never said I was a song writer or even a writer at that. I did like Angie and Tyler. I did not want to work with Mark that was for sure. As I began writing, something extremely from the heart, I thought about stuff. Maybe we could get an apartment that we both liked, something bigger? Something ours not just hers? Then I thought why wasn't I in Switzerland right now? It seemed so stupid to be sitting here all alone, while Brenda and her friends were having fun. I did have a good time with them. I grabbed the cordless that I still had with me and dialed information. I asked for the number I wanted and asked to be connected. I didn't have a job or something keeping me here in London, why not? The flight to Switzerland was only an hour and thirty minutes. Plus it had only been $130 bucks to boot. I would spend 5 times that to be there with Brenda. I talked to the airline employee changing my flight. After I hung up I went to go pack for the next three weeks. I all of a sudden got extremely excited and happy knowing that by tomorrow afternoon I'd be with Brenda. In her bed, hearing those noises in the flesh. Waiting the two weeks was stupid. She said it herself, she wished I was there. I'd surprise her. I couldn't wait to see her.

 _Sooooo what do you think? Do you think Brenda is going to be happy, annoyed? Hoe playful and ute were they on the phone. Let me know. xoxox_


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 _Never give all the heart, for love_

 _Will hardly seem worth thinking of_

 _To passionate women if it seem_

 _Certain, and they never dream_

 _That it fades out from kiss to kiss;_

 _For everything that_ _'_ _s lovely is_

 _But a brief, dreamy, kind delight._

 _O never give the heart outright,_

 _For they, for all smooth lips can say,_

 _Have given their hearts up to the play._

 _And who could play it well enough_

 _If deaf and dumb and blind with love?_

 _He that made this knows all the cost,_

 _For he gave all his heart and lost._

 _W.B Yeats_

My Switzerland tour had been going very well. Our shows had been sold out and the reviews were amazing. I was proud of Aaron and the whole cast. We worked hard and it was showing. I had been hanging out with the gang a lot too. It was nice to just be me and have some fun. With all the drama that had come up recently it was good to reconnect and bond. The girls and I had hung out a lot. We talked about life, love and what our plans were. We talked about the guys and Angie dropped a bomb on us saying that Tyler had asked her to marry her, well kind of. It wasn't an on your knee proposal and he didn't have a ring but he asked and she was thinking about it. I didn't know how I felt about the whole thing. I knew they loved each other with all their hearts, I also knew that as long as I've known both of them I knew no matter what bimbo Tyler had picked up or how much Angie said it was over, it never was. There was so much there…so much hurt, loss and history. Then there was so much sexual energy and cuteness. Their relationship was so volatile, it sadly reminded me of Dylan and I. Mmmm Dylan, things had been so up and down but mostly up. Him coming to London so far had turned my life upside down, mostly for the better but there was still stuff. Still a lot of jealousy and mistrust. Maybe not in the open but deep down for both of us there was.

Our phone conversation last night was so much fun. I had never had phone sex before and the way he made me feel…sigh. It was his voice, my thoughts, it was like he was there with me. I came hard under my own touch not that I hadn't done that before, I mean I was a normal girl who wasn't against self sexual exploration and it wasn't like I hadn't seen Dylan touch himself or him me, just over the phone, here in this place, away from him…I wanted him. I had a small confession though. The past week here in Switzerland had been great without Dylan. Mark and I had connected as friends and it felt nice. He was a big part of my life before he had left and before Dylan came back into it, it was nice to hang out, smile and laugh like the old days, without Dylan throwing a tantrum or I feeling badly about it. Mark wasn't all bad, we had a lot of fun together he was just a freaking player and it was so typical he would now want to change or say it anyway, now that I was happy with someone else. We found ourselves talking, really talking about things now. More so then ever before because even though we used to have heart to hearts we would always end up in bed before, after or during. Now that we had slid into a friendship though there was also a lot of pinned up sexual tension between Mark and I. I didn't want to feel it and often tried not too but it was there, just like it always was. It didn't mean anything I told myself. Just past feelings being brought to the surface. If I thought about it, I think maybe it was like this because Mark and I ended so oddly. He just left without a break up without a goodbye, maybe I needed closure. I was so embarrassed about them hearing me last night I hadn't left my room since. After getting off the phone with Dylan, Mark knocked on my door, looking through the peep hole I could tell he was alone. I didn't open it, I pretended to sleep. I couldn't be alone in this room with him. Even after my release I ached for Dylan and I couldn't trust myself with the tension Mark would bring. In a week Dylan would be here, and he would be traveling with us to Sweden for a couple weeks, then meeting us in Scotland. I felt like I had to talk to Mark about this stuff, be honest about it and let him know I liked the new found friendship that was happening but that was all it was. Dylan was my guy, he was the one and only guy for me. I had been in desperate love with him since I was 16 years old. Mark may have had sex appeal and if I was single I would have already been on that again, but I wasn't single, I was in love with Dylan. I wasn't going to screw that up with someone that had been so wishy washy with me throughout our relationship, or whatever we had had. I saw Dylan in my future. I didn't know how he felt about that. He had gotten married already and maybe that wasn't a possibility for us. Even still, I didn't care, I finally had Dylan back…all to myself.

After getting ready, I wanted to go down to the lobby and get some coffee and something to snack on. We had a free day, tomorrow would be another 2 shows so it was a busy one. It was already almost 1 o'clock. I made my way to the elevator, glad I hadn't seen anyone around. I stepped in, turning around and pressed the L for lobby and waited for the elevator doors to close. Quickly I saw a hand intercept the doors, and they pulled open slowly and Mark looked at me as he stepped in. His look moving straight in front of him not making eye contact with me.

"Hey." I said softly.

He kept his eyes on the closing doors, resting his back and hands on the hand rail behind him, "Hey."

Well maybe this was a good time to start, "Look Mark…I know you came over last night, I'm sorry I didn't answer, I think we need to talk…".

He moved so fluidly, I didn't see it coming. His hands pressed off the hand rail and he came close to me. I backed away feeling the side of the elevator hit my back. He leaned in, lowering himself to my level. His lips taking mine as prisoner. They moved perfectly against mine as his hands gripped achingly at my hips. His lips soft and firm moving against mine, his tongue tracing softly in my mouth. His left hand came up softly to my face, his thumb caressing my cheek then moving to my neck. His body got lower as he ground into me heating the kiss at the same time. He pulled away as he took a breathe, breathing into my mouth.

"What are you doing?" I whispered his lips still close to mine.

"Brenda." his voice stern, "I'm done talking." I stared into his eyes. The fire in my belly burning telling me this was wrong because it felt good. His lips crashed into mine again, bringing more heat which I didn't think was possible. Why was I kissing him back? The sexual tension that was built being released caused me to whimper under his lips. The kiss was familiar and warm. The door chimed and he pulled away. My back still resting against the side wall of the elevator, I was stunned. I was staring at the side of him, what the fuck was that? I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. Then the doors slowly pulled open.

"Fuck." I heard Mark say barely audible.

"Hey Bren." Oh my god, the voice I knew as well as my own broke my stare.

"Dylan?" He smiled a genuine smile at me that only lasted a moment when he saw who I was in the elevator with.

"Hey Dylan." Mark said quietly as he glanced at me quickly then made a move to leave the elevator, walking around Dylan without another word.

I swallowed hard and smiled a weary smile at him, fuck my life. A nervous laugh left my mouth, "What are you doing here?" I walked out of the elevator throwing my arms around his neck. I squeezed tightly as guilt jolted through me. I was off my feet in that instance as he picked me up, I felt his hand come to the back of my head.

"I wanted to surprise you…I missed you too much." he said quietly.

I smiled taking in his scent, at that moment I realized how much I missed him too. My eyes shut as he held me for a few seconds. I opened my eyes to find Mark staring at us from afar with the saddest look I had ever seen. I felt Dylan lower me to the ground and because of his height Mark was out of view. Dylan looked at me, searching my eyes for something I wasn't sure of. He brought his lips to mine in a chastised kiss, not as hot warm and heated as the one I shamelessly just had earlier.

"I missed you." I whispered. Feeling overly guilty.

"Where were you and Mark going?" He asked me calmly his face still close to mine, his arms tightly around my waist.

"Oh no where, we just ran into each other in the elevator, I was coming down to get coffee and something to eat." I knew I was rambling but he didn't seem to notice. "Are you hungry?" this conversation was fucking weird now.

Dylan's intense stare softened a little, I could see he had questions or concerns but nothing, nothing came out. No jealous tones or words. I knew it was behind that stare but he said nothing.

"Yeah coffee sounds good."

I smiled at him and gave him a sexy smirk, "Here lets go up, you can put your suitcase in my room and then we have the whole day to spend together." I tried to make it better. The truth was I was so weirded out right now. Now only did I just fucking kiss Mark, well he kissed me but I didn't push him away. I kissed back. I was disgusting. Dylan smiled and nodded as we hit the button to go up again. I looked around, seeing Mark again. I think my eyes were trying to say I was sorry but I'm not sure he understood. He looked pissed and sad but this shit was his fault. He knew I had a boyfriend. The doors chimed and opened, I felt Dylan grab my hand softly linking his fingers around mine. We entered the elevator and I hit floor 6. Mark's sad eyes were the last I saw as the doors closed shut.

"Everything ok Bren?" Dylan asked quietly feeling the weirdness now. I had been too quiet and I knew this. We walked side by side to my room.

"Yeah…everything is fine."

"Are you upset I came early?" I looked over at him, nervousness in his eyes.

"No…not at all, just surprised. I'm glad you're here." I was telling the truth. I really was but the timing seemed shit.

I unlocked my door and held it open as he rolled his suitcase in. Closing the door behind us I watched him wheel the suitcase to the corner and look at me as he took his jacket off. His eyes were questioning but filled with want. I don't think I had greeted him like he had wanted. I threw my keys on the table and stalked towards him. He looked hot as hell and I needed to fix this. In my mind it played out quite differently. I wanted to show him how much I had missed him. Instead he broke the intense stare and sat his back towards me on the bed. I walked over closer to him stopping in front of him. His head down as I stood over him. My hand went to his hair, I played gently with the back of it. He looked up at me, his eyes sad, "What's going on Bren?"

My thumb traced his lips, the side of his cheek. His hand closed over mine stopping me.

"Brenda?" his tone more stern, "Talk to me baby…please." he begged.

I took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. I sat next to him on the bed and looked straight ahead. I was so scared. He turned his body towards me, his eyes still begging. I couldn't take his eyes and both hands covered my face as I started to cry. I felt his arm wrap around me, his nose against my head, "Baby…what is it?" he whispered. I couldn't tell him, I was so frightened he'd leave me.

"I just can't…I can't tell you right now." I sobbed.

"Baby…you can tell me anything." he held my face in his hands, his eyes searching mine.

I shook my head as tears ran down my cheeks. "Why Bren, why cant you tell me?" he was getting annoyed, his voice changing.

"I'm scared." My eyes closed. It was hard to look at him.

"Scared of what? Of me?"

"I'm scared I'm gonna lose you." He inhaled, it made my eyes shoot open as his hands fell from my face. He knew, he knew something. In that moment Dylan was up on to his feet and out of my hotel room so fast I barely had time to call his name. My head hit the pillow as the door slammed shut and I cried, I had royally fucked up.

Two hours had passed since Dylan stormed out. At this point I didn't know where he would have gone, did he fly back to London, L.A? I didn't think he would have left all his stuff here and do that but what did I know. I was about to go and search the hotel, afraid I'd find him in the hotel bar but a gentle knock made me rush to the door. I opened it quickly and there stood Dylan. His eyes red and glassy. He'd been crying. I moved to the side letting him have access and he walked past me into the room. I stood maybe 6 feet from him, crossing my arms hugging myself, waiting for the wrath.

"Brenda…I don't know what your hiding or what it is your afraid to tell me, the thoughts I have running through my head are leaving nothing to the imagination. But…" he took a step towards me. "It doesn't matter. We've been through so much together. It just doesn't matter anymore. What matters is you…and me…right now." I closed my eyes as tears fell from my eyes. He closed the space between us in a few steps and I felt his fingers wiping the tears away. "Baby, listen to me…you can tell me everything…or you can tell me nothing at all. What you cant tell me is that you don't love me because thats the one thing I would never believe." he whispered. His hand cupped my cheek.

"I do love you…I love you so much." I whispered back.

His lips softly touched mine. This wasn't chastised anymore. There was a need behind it. A need to get close to one another. I felt him breathe into my mouth as he opened farther allowing my tongue to mix with his. His hands gripped my hips with want as he walked me backwards toward the bed. He gently lowered me to it covering my body with his. My legs moving apart as he settled in between them. He kissed me slowly, passionately with so much love behind it I wanted to cry. There was nothing rushed or rough about this display. This was gentle, loving and exactly what I needed. Our clothes became a pile on the floor and when Dylan gently slipped into me, I cried out in pleasure. His mouth was everywhere, my lips, my neck, he whispered he loved me into my ear and I moaned out in response. He filled me so completely, I was overwhelmed at the feeling. He held my face as he moved slowly in and out, seamlessly. I wasn't sure how long we had been making love but he never waned. I felt the pressure building, the release at the edge waiting to be pushed over. His thrusts still gentle but deep in and out, a bit faster, he was getting close too. I fell apart, his lips on mine as I moaned to into his mouth. He responded with a groan of his own as he pumped a few more times riding out his orgasm and then stilling inside of me. He kissed me deeply. This felt so perfect and right. Dylan moved to his back bringing me into his chest. At that moment we heard loud music coming from Mark's room. It may have been playing while we were having sex but I didn't notice it till now. We heard something bang loudly, then again, like someone was throwing stuff around.

"What the hell is that?" Dylan's head turned toward the headboard.

I took a deep breath knowing, "It's Mark's room." I muttered, feeling shitty again.

"Ah…I see." he cuddled into me again, he must have gotten it too, silence filled the room but I knew he was thinking, the wheels in his head turning. "You didn't sleep with him did you Bren?" Dylan was calm, I knew he knew whatever I wasn't telling him had to do with Mark.

My chin rested on his chest as I looked into his eyes, "No." I said simply.

"But something did happen? Is that what your afraid to tell me?"

I bit the corner of my lip, nervously, "Yes." I whispered. He stared at me waiting to see if I continued. "He kissed me…but I…kissed him back."

His eyes got wide for a moment, keeping his stare on me. Even in the darkened room I felt the intensity of it. After a minute he sighed, "He can't have you." Dylan said calmly.

I shook my head, "No…he can't."

Dylan was quiet for too long, it made me uncomfortable and nervous. "Dylan…please say something." I begged. I think I'd rather have him yell at me then fill this room with more silence.

"I don't know what pull he has on you. Some physical thing that I do understand, even though I hate thinking about it." His hand went to my head as I looked up at him again. "I want to make sure that this guy isn't going to ruin us Bren, that in 1 week, a month, 2 years he isn't going to come between us? I'm in this with you for the long haul baby. I see you in my future." he paused his tone changing, "Fix this Brenda, tell him what's up or I fucking will." he was serious, the last part he spat like venom. He was completely right.

"I will…I promise." I kissed him softly.

Dylan and I made love again, this time not so gentle, his noises a little to loud for my liking, the bang of the headboard, the squeak of the mattress every so often. He knew how to make me cry out as well sadly I couldn't help it. I knew what he was doing, he wanted him to hear, he wanted to hurt him. He was claiming me and I let him. Like he had said karma was a bitch with these thins walls and by the crashing and loud music I heard next door, karma was rearing its head. I didn't like to hurt people, I didn't want to hurt Mark. I also had no intention of losing Dylan. This was going to be a long fucking tour.

 _Don't be mad, things will settle with them for a bit. Also the LA gang will find out about them soonish so that should be interesting. Then the story may jump around a little. You know, Dylan had his crap with Kelly and I guess in a way Mark is like that. Brenda liked him, but there relationship was mostly physical. It never worked when they actually tried to be a serious couple. Much like KD. I feel its only fair Brenda have one too. I do like the fact this story so far is all Brenda with the temptation not Dylan, that may change too, not sure. I have no intention of breaking them up. I do have intentions for this couple to grow up and have a true adult relationship. To grow, learn from past mistakes and talk about it. So I hope your enjoying this. Please hit review. xoxo_


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 _You ask how much I love you_

 _And then you ask once more_

 _And so my love I'll tell you now_

 _As I did once before._

 _I love you more than flowers love_

 _The rising of the sun_

 _I love you more than horses love_

 _The plains on which they run._

 _I love you more than eagles love_

 _The currents way up high_

 _I love you more than rainbows love_

 _The droplets in the sky._

 _I love you more than fishes love_

 _The sea in which they swim_

 _I love you more than sea birds love_

 _The waves on which they skim._

 _I love you more than moonbeams love_

 _The planets as they turn_

 _I love you more than starships love_

 _The gases that they burn._

 _I love you more than Paris loved_

 _Fair Helen when in Troy_

 _I love you more than any girl_

 _Has every loved a boy._

 _I love you more than Shakespeare loved_

 _The muses in his verse_

 _I love you more than rich old men_

 _Love money in their purse._

 _I love you more than lollipops_

 _I love you more than cheese_

 _I even love you somewhat more than_

 _Than honey made by bees!_

 _I love you more than yesterday,_

 _And every day before,_

 _But I think that when tomorrow comes_

 _I'll love you even more._

 _I love you quite a lot you see_

 _But this I must impress_

 _I love you more than any words_

 _Could ever help express._

 _Charles Wiles_

I knew it…I fucking knew it. As soon as I saw her face on that elevator and Mark's guilty linger, I knew something had happened between them. Brenda and I had been through this before. We had both strayed, this time felt so different than that. I saw the way Brenda looked at me, I knew she was in love with me. There was no denying we both felt strongly for one another. I also knew that Brenda was not in love with Mark. Maybe he had been there for her when I wasn't, maybe he had filled her with some sexual satisfaction as two people may when they are together but he didn't have what I had with her. That's why I didn't freak out over hearing about the kiss. I know how shit is. I know sometimes you don't think and you just do. I also know how it is to have a lust for someone. It doesn't mean that it works in a relationship. I had had that with Kelly. I cared about her, I wanted her when I was alone with her, then in real life it was a disaster. You can't have a relationship fully with someone that you cheated with. At least we couldn't. There was always a thought of mistrust, Kelly was so freaking jealous and insecure about Brenda. I get it now. She knew we had been in a serious relationship, she was there she saw it. Then when we dated there was always that something in the back of her mind that was scared, scared I was with her because I wasn't with Brenda, scared I had made the wrong choice. Which now I clearly see I actually did, she actually did have a reason to worry. Mark and Brenda may have had sex but he didn't have her heart. I fucking did, and I wasn't going to be a jealous guy, leave and make a scene, only to have him swoop in. Those are the things I thought about during those two hours I spent having my tantrum. I thought about shit, I cried, I went back and forth on how to react with whatever she was keeping from me. I thought the worst, I thought they had slept together. I didn't know if I could deal with that but I decided it didn't matter. I had waited too damn long to be with her again. I had made mistakes, been with the wrong girls and I wasn't about to give up that easily on the right one.

Angie had called me the night before. She wanted to show Tyler my Whiskey song, or poem she turned into a song. I agreed, I had actually written some stuff the day before, considering Brenda was at the theater all day doing two shows back to back. Brenda asked if it was ok to talk to Mark during that time and she would meet up with us after. I was scared and nervous of that but I knew she had too. It's what I had asked of her and to be honest her setting him straight was a lot better than myself doing it. Tyler and Angie had looked through my journal and found a poem I had just written. Mark and Brenda had joined us when they were playing around with it. I didn't know how the talk went but I'm sure Brenda would tell me later, Mark had just seemed quiet at first anyway. Of course when Angie and Tyler put my poem to music, changing some stuff and picking out a chorus and repeating it accordingly, Mark hated it. Surprise surprise.

"This is shit." he tossed the journal on the table.

I took a breath and reined in my emotions. It was fucking painfully obvious why he didn't like it.

"Come on dude, it's good stuff. We can play it acoustic if you think that would make it better? Maybe change the words so its Ang singing to a guy?"

"No! It's shit." He said pissed off.

"Mark…come on." Brenda said from next to me. He looked at her, unspoken hurt in his eyes.

"I'll sing it through, just give it a chance." Tyler said hopeful.

I had yet to say anything, I mean maybe it was shit. I didn't know.

Tyler began the guitar intro, he didn't have as good a voice as Mark, I'll admit but he still sounded good. It was slower than I had imagined it would be, but hey they were the music experts.

"He could be a sinner, or a gentleman

He could be your preacher, when your soul is down

He could be your lawyer on a witness stand but

He'll never love you like I can, can

He could be a stranger, he gave a second glance

He could be your trophy, of a one night stand

He could have your humor, but I don't understand cause

He'll never love you like I can, can, can

Why are you looking down all the wrong roads

When mine is the heart and the soul of your soul

There may be lovers who hold out their hands but

He'll never love you like I can, can, can

A chance encounter of circumstance

Baby he's a mantra, keeps your mind entranced

He could be the silence in this mayhem, but then again

He'll never love you like I can, can, can

Why are you looking down all the wrong roads

When mine is the heart and the soul of your soul

There may be lovers who hold out their hands but

He'll never love you like I can, can, can

We both have demons, that we can't stand

I love your demons, like devils can

If you're self seeking an honest man

then stop deceiving Lord please

Why are you looking down all the wrong roads

When mine is the heart and the soul of your soul

There may be lovers who hold out their hands but

He'll never love you like I can, can, can."

Angie smiled, happy with the change and the words I had written.

Mark huffed. "I'm not singing that shit." Yes asshole this is about you.

"Fine." Tyler said angry, "I'll fucking sing it."

"Whatever." he mumbled getting up and then it just came out. I couldn't help myself.

"What the fuck is your problem with me Mark?" Brenda's hand touched my leg. I knew she was telling me to calm down.

"You know what my fucking problem is. Who the fuck do you think you are? You come in here with fucking songs, two of them are now getting on my set. You come steal _my_ girl."

I interrupted him, "Your girl?" I got up. "Fucking seriously? You're delusional."

"Come on guys." Tyler stood between us. "This isn't the place." he held his hands out.

He looked directly at her, ignoring my presence, everyone's presence, "Brenda really, so what you went out in high school? He dumped you for your best fucking friend." Brenda closed her eyes, knowing he knew too much. "He fucking married someone else. Then she fucking dies and now he's all of a sudden back…" I moved a step towards him. He was out of line, "I just don't fucking get it, Brenda? Yes I fucked up, but not more than he did god damn it. You weren't even his first fucking choice." Brenda stared at him, hurt in her eyes as he looked back at her, then he stared at me and stormed for the door. I went to lunge after him. The line was well crossed now, my fist had his name on it.

Tyler stopped me, "Let him go." I breathed deep, "I'll go after him." he said looking at Angie for the okay. She nodded and he walked out the door. I looked at Brenda, her head down now staring at her feet as she sat on the couch.

"Bren?" I said quietly. What the fuck did he do?

She looked at me, swallowing hard. "It's fine…I'm fine." she said too quickly. She wasn't fine.

"Brenda…he's jealous. Boys say stupid stuff when they're jealous." Angie looked at her, then looked at me giving me a small smile.

Brenda got up. Reaching in her pocket for our key, "I'm gonna go. You guys keep working, I'm fine." She went for the door.

I stopped her, my hand reaching for her hand. I gently pulled her back, "Brenda?" I shook my head, that wasn't true. She was not second choice. "I'm fine Dylan." she said too harshly.

"You're not fine. He doesn't know shit about us."

She looked at me, then at Angie like she didn't want to say what was on her mind with an audience. Her hand squeezed my hand lovingly, but she turned and left.

I looked at Angie. "She doesn't believe that shit does she?" She looked apologetic and shrugged. I went after her. This was not fucking happening.

"Brenda…wait up." I ran after her. Tyler and Angie's room was at the other end from ours. I caught up with her at our door. "Baby…come on."

She sighed and opened the door. She didn't even hold it open for me. "Are you seriously mad at me? He's full of shit and you know it."

She turned facing me, "Do I?"

I took a deep breath and walked towards her, I placed my hands gently on the tops of her arms, "Yes you do know. We talked about all of this already. He did this on purpose, don't let him get inside your head."

She looked into my eyes, hopefully seeing honesty there. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. My arms encircled her, hugging her tightly. Her arms responding by wrapping around to my back. Her head rested on my chest. I kissed the top of her head. "Brenda…you know how I feel about you. Please don't ever question that." she nodded against my chest. Stupid dick Mark. She kept her closeness and looked up at me. I kissed her softly, a slow teasing caress. "You okay?" My hand running up and down her back lovingly.

"Yeah…I'm going to take a bath." I leaned in and kissed her again, this time a little longer, heated. She smiled against my lips. "I know what your doing." she pulled away and rolled her eyes. I chuckled a little and watched her disappear in the bathroom. I laid on the bed and clicked on the television. I heard her run the bath water as I thought about Mark. I hated the fact he knew anything about me. I get it though, they dated for over a year, I'm sure her past came up. I still despised the fact he knew shit about me, mistakes I had made in the past and anything to do with my relationship with Brenda. I heard the bath water being turned off after a while and I thought I hadn't asked Brenda how the talk had gone. I got up and walked to the bathroom. She had left the door a little open, so I slowly pushed it open. I looked at her, her hair pinned up away from her face and neck, surrounded by bubbles. She laid with her head back against the tub her eyes closed. I walked closer and she opened her eyes hearing me. She wiped her eyes quickly and then I knew she was crying. I walked over sitting on the lowered toilet seat.

"Why are you crying?" my voice sounded pained.

She shrugged a little.

"Bren…don't dwell on the crap he said. He has no idea how our relationship is. He may know some dirt, but the guy is bitter."

"I know." she nodded.

"Then why are you upset?"

"It just brings up stuff that's all." She said simply.

"What stuff? We've talked about all of this, we've moved through it."

"I know…I just…what if I'm not first choice? I mean Kelly seems to still be with Colin from Brandon's emails, Toni's gone. Maybe you're with me because you can't be with them?" her eyes looked into mine sadly. Was she fucking serious? She was so wrong.

I moved kneeling by the tub getting closer to her. "Brenda…we belong together, how can you even think that? I have been madly in love with you since the day I met you. There was never a competition, not now." I took a deep breath trying to find the right words, "I know I've made mistakes, I given you reasons not to trust this, but baby…you're it for me." My hand went to her neck. "I'm choosing right this time, what can I do to make you see this? I love you so much."

The corner of her lips went into a small smile, "I love you too. Uh I know I'm being stupid." She brought her hand up out of the tub and smoothed back her hair.

I smirked, "Yeah a little."

He mouth opened surprised, she splashed me getting my face and shirt all wet. Oh man she had it coming. I stood up quickly,

"You are so going to get it." I pulled my t-shirt over my head. I heeled out of my shoes watching her laugh and put her hands up waiting for my wrath. I undressed quickly, leaving my clothes on the floor as I stood in front of her, hungry…naked.

"What are you going to do?" she said laughing.

I stepped in one leg at a time and sat opposite of her. I reached under the water with both hands, grabbing her hips and ass pulling her forcefully to my lap. Water splashed over the side. We laughed as our lips met in a starved kiss. The water made our bodies move together in a delicious slippery way and I just couldn't stop kissing her. Her bare breasts against my chest, her center rubbing against mine. Brenda was always a wild cat in the sac but now being in our early twenties, she had been tame back then. I slowed my heated devour and moved my hand down the back of her head. I stared into her eyes intensely, "Don't you ever question this." I demanded softly.

She just looked into my eyes, opening the windows of her soul. She nodded, "I wont." she whispered. My hand touching her face, I positioned myself at her entrance and with a deep thrust I was home.

 _So a couple people in their reviews had mentioned that Toni wasn't brought up or why he married her. And the truth is they already had this conversation. Dylan married Toni because Brenda was gone and he did love her. I also gave replys to the people that Toni wasn't going to be talked about anymore, at least not as a why Dylan Why did you move on when I lived in another country? There just isn't anything to say about it anymore, Dylan didn't know if Brenda would come back. She was gone, he met someone, doesn't mean he loved Brenda less. It's something that Brenda got over or is. But I also hinted that someone might bring it up. Well that someone is ugh Mark. I have a love/hate relationship with Mark. I feel like we all have one of those. At least I do. Fortunately for Bren she has a Dylan too, wish I did lol maybe the Mark wouldn't look so irresistible. Next up Valentines day in Sweden. Also a little spoiler, After Sweden, they will be in Scotland and the LA gangs (two of them anyway) first clue about Dylan and Brenda comes to light. I also will probably bring up some stuff thats happening to them as BD finds stuff out, remember Brenda and Brandon do communicate, he fills her in and she as well, except Dylan, Dylan is MIA from there knowledge until Steve's bday. I'm trying to get parallel with Season 6, so help me out if you can :) Hit review people. I'n loving your responses._


	18. Chapter 18

_Some Dylan and Brenda in true romantic form. Enjoy!_

Chapter 18

 _I've never imagined that there can be this day._

 _A day that love will find its way._

 _Out of my heart and into your soul._

 _These feelings I have are beyond my control._

 _All my life I have waited patiently._

 _For a goddess like you, so beautiful, so lovely._

 _Words can't express the way I feel._

 _These feelings towards you are all for real._

 _You are the reason why I go on._

 _Eternity can't separate this special bond._

 _This heart of mine is reserved for you._

 _Forever it is yours, this love is true._

 _I'll be your first and you'll be my last._

 _My world, my everything, till my time has past._

 _I will always love you until the end of time._

 _MY LOVE, MY SWEETHEART, MY VALENTINE!_

 _Sokea Meas_

We had our last show in Zürich last night and it went as well as the other performances. It was becoming easy to do this show now. We had been doing it for a month and half and it was becoming second nature. I so far liked touring but it can be rough living in hotels. I hadn't seen Mark much since the little blow up last week. He had stayed pretty to himself. His room wasn't the get together meet up place anymore. We still all hung out Ethan, Eric, Laura, Angie, Tyler, Dylan and me. Who knows where Veronica had been she had been MIA and so had Mark. I can only imagine that the two had hooked up. It was very like Mark to react like that and Veronica to my observation always had a little thing for him. I guess that should bother me more than it did and it may have if I didn't have Dylan. It was almost more of a relief that he wasn't around, just less comfortable for everyone. My talk with Mark that day had been as anyone would expect. He sat quiet and looked at me like I had kicked him in the stomach. He didn't say much but he obviously had opinions which he so eloquently announced in front of everyone. I don't know why I had even questioned Dylan or took anything Mark had said to heart. It's hard when your painful memories get thrown in your face. The truth was Mark was bitter and jealous and people attack when they feel cornered. I think my relationship with Dylan had done just that.

Dylan was in the shower. I refrained from joining him knowing we would be late to meet everyone to get on the buses if I hadn't. The couple weeks Dylan had been on this tour with us had been wonderful. He was so romantic and sweet. We spent my breaks off and when I was at the theater, he spend his time sightseeing through Zürich and writing. His writing had gotten really good and he was taking this song thing more to heart than I had imagined. He was spending a lot of time with Angie which bothered me a little but Tyler was always there. I knew it was stupid to be bothered, I guess in the back of my mind if Kelly, someone I had trusted that I considered my best friend could technically steal my boyfriend, why couldn't all friends do that? It was silly, I knew this was my insecurity and something I had to rein in. There was nothing worse than a jealous insecure girlfriend. As far as the writing goes, its funny because Dylan wrote a lot about love, loss things like that and I think Angie and Tyler connected with it because their relationship was familiar to our own. Thankfully I think Dylan and I had it together more so but our stories were similar. They were very intense, maybe more so than Dylan and I. We were on our way to Stockholm and I was pretty excited. I had never seen these parts of the world even though I had been living in Europe for a couple of years. In three weeks we would be Sweden, we had 10 shows, with plenty of days off. I looked forward to seeing the city a little. Since Dylan had come to Switzerland early he had planned on coming with us to Sweden as well. He was going to stay for two weeks, head home to London, check the apartment, pay the bills with our joint account, I know right so domestic, and come meet us in Scotland where he would stay with me for the whole entire three weeks. I would miss him during that week but London needed to be tended too unfortunately and I was actually very happy Dylan was here with me considering I don't know what I would have done if he was not. We had made our first big couple decision this week as well. Dylan and I had decided to move and find another apartment. Something bigger that we both picked out and made a home. I could afford much more with Dylan helping me and I wanted Dylan to feel like London was truly home now. I knew he had planned to move out of Beverly Hills with Toni to Hawaii when he got married. Now that those plans had faltered, I knew he had no interest in LA for now. Which worked out for me too because I had no intention on going there either. I had talked to Brandon a couple times, catching up, no mention of Dylan though. Just didn't feel quite right yet. He had said that Kelly had gotten into drugs with her boyfriend Colin. They had planned a sit down with her, Jackie and David. I found the whole thing pretty surprising considering what she had gone through with her mother but who knows. I feel like I didn't know Kelly anymore and by the way Brandon talked about Colin he seemed shady as fuck. Poor Brandon had his own issues with his current girlfriend Susan. I had seen pictures of her, she was pretty, a brunette no less which made me a bit happy. An old boyfriend was in town and he was dealing with his own insecurities of past relationships. It sounded like they were trying to work things out.

I walked into the bathroom to pack the rest of my toiletries away as I stepped to the bathroom counter. I looked at Dylan through the mirror. He stood naked looking hot as he washed shampoo out of his hair. I smirked turning around resting my lower back against the sink and watched him.

He noticed and smiled as he tilted his head back into the water. "You see something you like?" he joked.

I smiled, "Eh." shrugging as I laughed as he mocked being hurt. "Just reminds me of something."

Dylan laughed out loud knowing what I was referring too, "Brandon can't you ever shut the door, you know its hot enough in here already." he quoted doing a very bad impression of my voice. "You looked so hot, if you only knew the thoughts I had running through my head at that moment."

"Oh I can imagine, I had them too." I admitted.

"That I know baby…we invented eye sex." he smiled wide.

"You made my girl bits tingle, you knew exactly what you were doing." I stared and followed his hand spreadig soap on his flat stomach. He looked delicious.

"Speaking of that why don't you get your sexy ass in here and let make your girl bits feel more than tingle."

I laughed out loud, "Tempting…but after talking to Brandon I'm behind on packing up." at that moment I turned around and started placing my bathroom stuff in my makeup bag.

"How is Brandon anyway?"

"He's okay…there is a lot going on back home." I took a deep breath knowing I should tell him, "Kelly is in bad shape." He turned his head towards me.

"What's wrong with Kelly?" he asked interested.

"She is doing drugs, coke I think. Brandon is worried about her."

He stared at me shocked, then went back to washing the conditioner out of his hair. "That's surprising, with what she went through with her mother." a looked at him in the mirror for some reaction. What I wasn't sure, maybe too worried too concerned. I didn't get it though. I was freaking lame.

"Yeah that's what I thought too. I hope she gets her shit together, sounds like she is pretty in it with that boyfriend of hers." I glanced up from my bag again, insecurity looking for another reaction.

"Yeah…I wasn't sure about him but then again I didn't know him. Kelly makes her own decisions I'm sure it was his influence to start but you can't blame him for that. I'm sure he didn't force that crap up her nose." He acted very impartial, hm. "Kelly is a smart girl Bren…and I know Brandon loves her, he'll try his hardest to talk some sense into her. You know your brother."

"Yeah…I do, too bad they didn't work out. I liked the idea of them together, from the sound of it they sounded like they loved each other very much." I watched him again, I knew I was testing. He looked at me with questioning eyes and turned to shut the water off. He pulled a towel he had hanging on the shower door and began drying himself off. He pushed it open steam coming out and around him. I looked down at my bag not wanting to give my investigation away.

"I guess." he answered. Wrong answer Dylan…wrong freaking answer.

I turned, my hands touching behind me at the counter, "You guess?" I'm sure my face gave me away.

He laughed and shook his head, continuing to dry off. "You guess?" I questioned again. "You don't think they loved each other very much?"

"Brenda…I know what your doing."

"What am I doing?" I tried to play it off.

He wrapped his towel around his waist and stepped closer to me. He leaned in and gently pecked my lips. "You're testing me for a reaction, and there isn't one." he remained close to my lips.

"Well you didn't really answer me." he continued to look into my eyes.

"Brenda." he breathed out annoyed, "Yes they loved each other very much, Happy? I didn't pay much attention I guess, I was too busy being an asshole and trying to break them up. Is that what you want to hear?" I looked down.

"Hey." his voice apologetic, his finger came to my chin lifting it so I was looking at him. I was searching his eyes but all I saw was love. "What's bringing this on? This isn't you."

I exhaled, "I know I guess whenever I talk to Brandon old shit comes up, I'm sorry, I know I'm being annoying." Dylan took a deep breath, his face understanding. I didn't want to be like Kelly in our first year at CU. She was bitchy and jealous. That was the last thing I wanted to be.

"I have a feeling they'll work things out. We did. Sometimes the timing isn't right and I do believe they loved each other very much. I didn't like losing. I was an idiot. Something tells me you haven't heard the last about Brandon and Kelly. I had never seen your brother like that with a girl. He proposed to her for god sakes. They'll figure it out." he toweled his wet hair, looking sexy still. I turned towards the mirror again.

"Well you are right about somethings, you are an idiot." I joked eyes on his through the mirror.

He grabbed me from behind, still a bit wet from the shower, I laughed tried to get away while he attacked my neck in kisses tickling me. A knock on the door interrupted our playfulness and I shimmied out of his hold. Pulling open the door I saw Aaron.

"Buses will be here in 20." he smiled a warm smile at me. I nodded and watched him walk to Mark's door knocking loudly over the guitar playing. I peered around as Mark yelled to come in and Aaron walked into his room, leaving the door open. I heard him playing a nice song as I made eye contact with him. I lifted my hand to give him a small wave. He looked sadly at me, acknowledged Aaron and went back to singing a new song I hadn't heard before. I took a deep breath and wondered if we could ever be friends. I guessed probably not. There was just to much bitterness and pain there now. From him obviously. I looked at him one last time, as he sang the words to me. His stare intense as usual.

" _I saw that you moved on with someone new_

 _In the pub that we met he's got his arms around you_

 _It's so hard_

 _So hard_

 _And I want to tell you everything_

 _The words I never got to say the first time around_

 _And I remember everything_

 _From when we were the children playing in this fairground_

 _Wish I was there with you now."_

Ugh he was talented, I looked down before meeting his eyes again.

"Bren…where's my black t-shirt." I heard Dylan call out from the bedroom. He kept singing and I moved back into my bedroom closing the door slowly. I wish things were different and he would carry on getting on anything with a skirt so I could concentrate on my new/old relationship and my career.

"I packed it in your suitcase." I answered back. It was a sweet song, I would like to listen to the whole thing someday, I'm sure I would if he sang it at a show. Sadly poor Mark was baring his soul to me and I only thought of Dylan. That song reminded me so far about the time we were apart. I went on and finished packing with my insecurities about Dylan, Mark's heartbroken face, Kelly having a hard time and the fact that my menial problems seemed pretty unimportant at the moment.

We had been in Stockholm for a few days, it was a gorgeous city. Believe it or not I found it more romantic than Paris. The views, the night life, the parks, water and museums. It was a magical place. It had made my top 5 places to visit so far. It was Valentines day and we all had the night off. We had done two shows already. They weren't as well received yet, not selling out but Aaron had high hopes that once the theater ran there marketing which had been late, people would come. I wasn't worried you couldn't always have sold out shows, it was bound to happen. I had heard they were starting the marketing early in Scotland so hopefully that would help. We had another 10 shows there. Dylan and I had a wonderful room here in Stockholm, at the Hilton Stockholm Slussen. We had again taken over half of the 10th floor and this hotel was very nice. We had a big room, with a huge king bed, a jacuzzi tub with gorgeous marble bathroom, a chaise lounge and a quant desk by the huge 5 foot windows with views of water and Old Town. It had become Dylan's favorite place to write these past few days. Mark was not next door, thank you lord but Tyler and Angie were. It was nice because we started hanging out with them a lot, and Laura and Eric, who were next to them. It was a romantic place like I said, I was glad to be surrounded by love.

Everyone had plans to do there own thing. Dylan wouldn't tell me exactly what we were doing but he said to dress up. He had gone having to buy a suit because he didn't think to bring one and I was planning on wearing a new dress I had gotten in secret. Satin slip dresses were hugely in style and I had gotten a black one, it was super short, hung loosely and straight up looked like lingerie. It had lace around the plunging neck line that made it hard to wear a bra. It was sexy and very in so I got it. It was cut low in the front and low in the back. I had secretly hoped I would be able to stay in the thing. My hair had grown out a bit too. Much longer past my shoulders now, gone were the bangs I rocked in high school and gone was the rich brown auburn hair I had grown accustomed. Now my hair was almost black, straight and I was a lot thinner then I was in high school. With my busy schedules I barely had time to sit and eat a meal these days and it showed. Sadly the waif look was popular and Dylan didn't seem to mind my petite frame. I had wanted to get healthier and I had hoped the models and fashion industry did too. I couldn't help my frame much but some of those models looked under nourished.

I had finished getting ready putting on a dark burgundy lip color. My eyes were smokey and I had to admit I looked good. I walked toward the closed bathroom door my strappy heels making noise, I slowly opened the door and stood and looked at Dylan trying to tie his tie.

"Need help?" I said in the most seductive voice I had. He turned and looked at me frustrated and then his jaw dropped.

"Bren…you look…oh my god there isn't words." He smirked and walked towards me. I held up my hand trying to stop him but it didn't work. His eyes traveled down my frame lingering too long on the slope of my perky breasts, it didn't help it was cold in our room and the satin did nothing to hide my hard nipples that showed through easy because I didn't have a bra on. I turned slowly giving him a full look at my practically bare back, stopping and looking over my shoulder at him.

He took a deep breath shaking his head. His hand gently traced my shoulders, running down my back slowly, he stopped and fingered the material above my ass, considering thats where the fabric started.

"I don't think I can contain myself all night in this dress Bren." his eyes hungry, fixated on my back side. The dress was working wonders.

I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck, "You're gonna have to Mister. If I let you have your way we'll never leave this room and I'm dying to know where we are going?"

He shook his head, mentally trying to rein in his horny need. His eyes looking down my chest again. I didn't play into the way he was making me feel. I had butterflies like I used to when I was 16 with those looks and it sent electric shocks to my core. Thank god I wore underwear not being that adventurous because I'm pretty sure I was hot, wet and ready for him at that moment. I touched his tie helping him tie it as his eyes drank me in.

"So…where are we going Dylan?" I broke the trance.

"Uh uh…I'm not that brain dead by your sexy looks. It's a surprise." he said cutely.

I ran my hands down the finished tie and looked at him. He did know how to dress up. His shoulders looked broader in a suit, he fixed his hair just so, it was growing out a little. I have to admit Dylan had always been a hot piece of ass and he was getting better with age. I rubbed my hand over his newly visible facial hair. I liked it, he looked good with it, grown up.

"Fine…you ready?"

"Yep." he said simply, leaning in and giving me a sweet kiss. There was a knock then at the door and he smiled to go answer it. He opened the door and there stood a hotel employee with a vase filled with gorgeous long stem red roses. He took them from him, tipped him and closed the door behind him.

I smiled a wide smile, "Are those for me?"

He brought them over setting them on the desk by the window, "That they are."

"They're beautiful thank you." I leaned in and smelling the rich floral rose scent that now filled the room. It was a big arrangement.

"You're welcome." I kissed him as a thanks and giggled when the kiss lead to him attacking my neck, "Come on…Romeo." He bit my neck gently. It was going to be a good night.

Dylan made reservations at Gondolen, it was an elegant place that served classy Swedish and international cuisine. The most breathtaking part was it was perched 108 feet above the water. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. It's like we were sitting up there eating on top of the world. Their whole place, not very large was wrapped in windows. It wasn't sunset yet so you could see everything. The panoramic views of this insanely awesome city would be something I would never forget. The food was good, different but delicious. Dylan and I eye sexed the shit out of each other all during dinner. We shared a decadent chocolate dessert that almost made me orgasm in my chair. I had secretly hoped he didn't have too many plans because mine included hot sex all night long and it was beginning to be a painful ache to wait any longer. After dinner Dylan and I took a cab to the Djurgården bridge to watch the sunset. It over looked the water. Valentines day was a huge love celebration here in Sweden and the town was decorated with red and pink. It was also a bit crowded at the park. It being a pretty romantic known place in Stockholm. The bridge was a perfect place to watch the sunset. I leaned my arms on the railing and looked out silently.

"It's beautiful here." I sighed.

"It is…not as beautiful as you." Dylan wrapped his arm around me, kissing my head.

"Flattery will get you a blow job tonight for sure." I joked.

He chuckled against my head. "Man you know my reason for planning this night then."

I laughed knowing he was only partially serious. I got serious again and looked out at the colors that filled the sky as the sun crept behind the city, glowing against the water.

"Thank you Dylan…this has been an amazing Valentines day. You've out did yourself." I turned toward him, "I'm not surprised you always outdid yourself on this holiday." I leaned in and took his soft lips with mine. I opened gently, running my tongue slowly against his. He groaned a little, his eyes closed. I deepened the kiss, my hand finding the back of his head where I played with his longer hair in the back of his neck. We breathed heavily into each other mouths taking a breath. He reached inside his jacket pocket and took out a box.

"Happy Valentines day Bren." he said softly handing me the box.

I smile getting that familiar feeling of Dylan and his romance. I carefully lift the boxes lid and revealed is a smaller black velvet box. I take it out and looked at Dylan before opening it. I carefully lift the lid and a gorgeous sterling silver ring with a Topaz heart in its center shined at me.

"Dylan." I breath, "It's beautiful…It's my birth stone."

"It's a Claddagh ring. It's an Irish tradition. The ring, shows two hands clutching a heart complete with crown, epitomizes the expression of lasting love and eternal friendship. The heart symbolizes Love, the hands Friendship and the crown Fidelity. The romantic story of the

ring began over 300 years ago, in the ancient fishing village of Claddagh just outside the walls of the city of Galway on the west coast of Ireland. Legend tells us a fishing boat from the village was captured by pirates and the crew taken and sold as slaves. One of the crew, Richard Joyce (who was to have been married that very week,) was sold to a Turkish Gold Smith. During his captive years never forgetting his girl back home, he made a ring for her. After many years, 14 to be exact, Richard eventually earned his freedom and returned to Claddagh. To his great joy he found his girl had never given up hope of seeing him again. He gave her the ring he had made and they were married never to be separated." He placed the ring on my left hand, I looked up at him curiously. He continued, "The tradition is worn on the left hand, crown turned outwards, Lets our love and friendship reign forever, never to be separated."

I think my heart stopped beating. I looked at it the gorgeous ring, I was completely shocked. I was speechless. He held my left hand, kissing it tenderly.

"I know there are many things that make you doubt my seriousness about you, I know I've made mistakes. I know I probably can't make them go away without time and just showing you. I didn't think I would ever want to get married again and I still don't completely know. What I do know is that if there was a person I would want to spend the rest of my life with, it's you. You are the most important person in my life. It's not an engagement ring, but it is a promise that I will love you, cherish you, stay true to you and always be your best friend. And I promise that if I decide to cross that threshold again, it will be with you."

I threw my arms around his neck in complete awe of this man. I had known him for so long and he still knew how to make me feel giddy and completely loved. "I love you Bren." he whispered in my hair.

Tears filling my eyes, overwhelming me, "God…I love you too." I said back, my voice filled with tears. He pulled away from me, gently wiping my tears from my cheeks. He kissed me softly, both hands on the sides of my face. The softness of the kiss didn't last long as we both fully forgot we were still in public.

"Let's go back to the hotel." I whispered against his mouth. I wanted him. I have never wanted him more. "Your present is back there." I grabbed his hand pulling him along the pathway. He chuckled and followed close behind me. On the ride back to the hotel, we had to be touching. Whether is was a leg, a cheek, a hand, a secret rub against his slacks. We could not keep our hands off of each other. I could not get to the room fast enough, I honestly thought Dylan would have taken me right in that elevator if he could. Maybe another time, I had to be alone with him, naked in a big bed. We kissed, practically dancing to our room, making out, hitting walls, undressing. I couldn't tell you if anyone saw us. I didn't care. Dylan did indeed get his blow job that was well deserved. He also orally tormented me slowly so he could regroup for the main event. We spent the whole entire night worshipping each other, making love slowly, fucking passionately. We cuddled as the sun came up. Lighting up our room in a gorgeous orange. He looked at me in this new light. His eyes filled with love, he held my hand up, the light hitting the sapphire proudly and took it in. He kissed me softly and let me just say that led to another round of superb love making. My legs were jelly, my most intimate area sensitive to the touch and over worked. I thought of one thing during that few minutes of cuddling into the late morning. I had hoped Dylan wanted to someday cross that threshold again, because in that moment I would have married him on the spot.

 _Awwwww Dylan and Brenda are by far the most amazing couple. Their chemistry was on fire. I honestly think this is something Dylan would do. He always had such romantic meaningful things for her. I did tons of research with this chapter. I suggest if you are interested to google some of the locations and the ring for a visual. Stockholm is known as being pretty romantic and that wasn't planned on purpose, just researching this chapter I pleasantly found out about it. I hope you liked the chapter. Things will be like this for a bit I think. Gussy and fluffy. You know drama will always come in again. I will continue to throw in things from BH too. Erica and Iris will come in this story too. Keep reading, I'm really enjoying this story. I'm so fixated on some of this stuff I feel like it really happened LOL Please review. Thanks friends! I also googled Luke Perry 1996 along with Shannon...let me say the visual of them together at this time was heaven!_


	19. Chapter 19

_Damn it! Thank you_ _Crystal_ _you are so right. Dylan was the Libra, his bday was in Septemberish…UGH Ok well then I guess pretend it was a Topaz. LOL Darn it, I usually check my facts first. I kept hearing Iris say You're a scorpio she's a Libra, and it was backwards. Thanks for checking that. I updated it LOL. Then in Season 3 Dylan buys Kelly that Emerald necklace and she has a fit because its "Brenda's birthstone" in his flashback where married to Kelly he was broke from her shopping and with brenda he has a million children LOL Anyway who knows when Brenda was born. Funny how they never say. Anyway Sorry for my mistake. She can be whatever you guys want birthstone wise. HAHAHA Enjoy DOV!_

Chapter 19

 _If truth in hearts that perish_

 _Could move the powers on high,_

 _I think the love I bear you_

 _Should make you not to die._

 _Sure, sure, if stedfast meaning,_

 _If single thought could save,_

 _The world might end to-morrow,_

 _You should not see the grave._

 _This long and sure-set liking,_

 _This boundless will to please,_

 _-Oh, you should live for ever,_

 _If there were help in these._

 _But now, since all is idle,_

 _To this lost heart be kind,_

 _Ere to a town you journey_

 _Where friends are ill to find._

 _Alfred Edward Housman_

Sweden had been amazing. Both Brenda and I fell in love with it and promised we would someday go back together, maybe an anniversary or something. I had just made it back to London to take care of the apartment a week late. Rent was late and utilities, things just had to be handled and I was happy to help even if it meant leaving her. I had accompanied Brenda to Scotland on her tour, which had been really fun. I wrote about 10 new poems, that Tyler and Angie had liked a lot and they added 4 of them to their set. They even played an open mic night there to test the waters, without Mark by the way and it was so cool. They were singing my songs, or thoughts anyway and people liked them. It was an amazing feeling. The three weeks Brenda had been in Scotland had gone so well that the play was picked up to run through the beginning of the summer. I had made a few trips back here but here it was almost May and I hadn't been back to London in a month. I also had an appointment with Sara Duley the following day. She was going to show me an apartment in a building that Brenda had loved here in the West End. We had wanted to look at it together but Brenda had said, _"Dylan…there is never apartments available there, if there is one we need to grab it."_ She had seen the apartments before. She looked there last year but couldn't afford it, but she had fell in love with the loft style apartment that had been completely redone with vaulted ceilings and hardwood floors. It was converted and had two bedrooms, we could have a study or office. It was perfect in Brenda's mind and she wanted me to see it asap so if I loved it as much as she did we could indeed grab it. I loved this adult thing I had with Bren. It felt so right, so amazing. We had fell perfectly into this domestic bliss that I wasn't sure I would ever feel with anyone. Even on the road, we spent as much time as we could with one another and I enjoyed and didn't mind going back and forth to Scotland.

The following morning I went and met Sara and Brenda couldn't have been more right. The apartment was perfect! It was so big compared to what we lived in now, over 1600q ft. It had plenty of open space, high ceilings, hardwood floors, a fully remodeled kitchen that I pictured Brenda using to the fullest. a cute little open loft upstairs that would be prefect for an office for me for writing with a comfy couch where Brenda could rehearse lines. The moment I got there I called Brenda to tell her I had indeed loved it. I put in an application for it right then and there and paid the deposit in full. When Brenda had a break, we would move in and make this place our home. I was beyond excited that I would have a place to truly call home, it was going to be our home. It was an incredible feeling.

While sitting in our small old apartment, I had checked Brenda's email at her request to find an email from David. It was Steve's 21st birthday in a week and they were wanting Brenda to send a video taping of a special message to Steve that David and Donna were putting together for a video montage. I didn't have email, I hadn't moved towards this internet thing yet, what can I say I was old fashioned but Brenda had and since there wasn't a way to check it in her hotel room I did what she asked. Obviously David couldn't send an email to me since they didn't know where I had been. I called Brenda, knowing her show would be done by now and she would be in her hotel room. It rang twice and then my gorgeous girl picked up.

"Hey baby." she answered knowing it would be me.

"Hey beautiful, how was the show?"

"It was good…sold out as usual. I swear Glascow is obsessed with this play." she said humor behind her voice. She thought it was funny the show hadn't done all that well in Sweden but there in Scotland it had been a mega hit. It was bitter sweet for Brenda, it was good steady money even though she would be doing it longer than she anticipated. "Did you get to check my email?" She asked hopeful.

I laughed, she knew technology scared me a little, "I did."

"Anything from Brandon? I haven't talked to him in so long, I hope everything is okay." she was worried about her brother. They had missed each other the last couple phones calls and it had been a month since she could catch up with him. I think Brenda liked the connection to L.A a bit. She wanted to know how everyone was doing even thought I knew she had no intention to return there for a visit anytime soon.

"Nothing from Brandon, but you did get an email from David."

"David? Why would David email me? What happened to Brandon?" She sounded on the verge of hysteria. David was an odd person to get am email from, I thought so as well.

I laughed, "Calm down Bren…I'm sure Brandon is fine, you know life gets busy. David and Donna are putting together a video montage for Steve's 21st birthday, they were hoping you would video tape a little message for him."

"A video message? Where am I suppose to get a video camera around here? That's sweet though. Geez Steve is finally turning 21, we should all be scared he is legal to drink now." she joked.

"God I know." I agreed. Steve was a regular party animal. Mr. Keg house man himself.

We talked for another 10 minutes and said our goodbyes. I sat looking at that email message for several minutes. What if I were to write a message of my own? Without much thought, I picked up a piece of computer paper and jotted down a message to Steve. I wasn't sure what Brenda would say to be honest. I highly doubt she would have been angry. I just didn't want to make a huge production. I would stick it in the mail and tell her I did it, plain an simple. Believe me I liked having this ours but I also wanted to shout from the rooftops that I was happy. I was doing fine. This wasn't really about anything other than, wishing my friend Steve a happy birthday and letting everyone know I was doing well. I was here in London and I was happy. I missed the gang, I did, not enough to go home but I did miss them and I wished nothing but happiness for them.

 _Beverly Hills_

 _Valerie watches Brandon leave the kitchen and heads over to the phone. She hits speaker and dials her voicemail. After typing in the code she walks away._

 _You have one new message, received at 3:34pm._

" _Hey kid Jonsey here. I'm on the case. By the way I do know where Dylan is in merry ol England, London to be exact, West end of course. More to come…_ _sayonara_ _." Valerie looked oddly at the phone. She had asked Jonsey to work his magic in located Dylan. He had been gone 6 months without a word. Of course Jonsey would come through. She got up to hang up the call seeing Brandon in the doorway of the kitchen._

" _Sorry." Brandon said realizing he was caught eavesdropping. She hit off on the speaker and shrugged, he continued, "I couldn't help myself, I heard Jonsey's voice and I just had to hear the pearls of wisdom." They both laughed._

" _Ah..thats ok, I don't really have anything to hide. Did you know Dylan was in London?"_

" _News to me… Brenda certainly didn't say anything to me." he shook his head, "Then again, I haven't talked to her in awhile she's been on tour in Scotland."_

" _You think they've been together?" Valerie's mind was spinning and loving every minute of this new detail. Kelly would be thrilled, sarcastically of course._

" _I don't know…London is a big town, 15 million probably if you take into the account of the outlining areas. I'd say chances are slim to none but then again you never know."_

 _A smirk filled Valerie's lips, this was huge news indeed. Brandon saw it right away._

" _What?' he asked knowing she was hiding something._

" _Hmm Brenda and Dylan…together again? I'm really sorry Kelly missed the good news." she smiled widely at him._

 _Brandon smirked, "Val…stop enjoying this so much. We don't actually know they've been together."_

 _She hid her smile for a moment, "Of course…you're right." Brandon gave her a knowing smile and turned to head up the stairs. Valerie reached for the phone dialing Jonsey's number she was happy he answered._

" _Talk to me." Jonsey said in true form._

" _Jonsey…hey its Val. I got your message. Thank you for agreeing to help me find Colin."_

" _I would do anything for you doll face. I'll let you know what I find out."_

" _I appreciate it. And about Dylan? He's living in London?"_

" _Yeah…that was an easy one. He actually just paid a pretty hefty deposit on an apartment in London's west end. Nice building too, that made my search pretty easy."_

" _Hmm…alone? Was anyone else on the lease?"_

" _Ummm lets see," silence filled the phone like he was looking into what he had dug up, "No he's not alone, a Brenda Walsh also signed and faxed the renters agreement back this afternoon from Scotland."_

 _A wide smile spread across Valerie's face, "Thanks Jonsey…you're the best!"_

" _You know I aim to please sweetheart. I'll talk to you soon." and with that they hung up. Holy Shit Brenda and Dylan were together in London, and domesticated at that. She was going to hang on to this information for the right moment. She loved to hurt Kelly, and she knew this would do just that._

 _A week had passed and Donna, David and Kelly were getting ready to head to Long Beach for Steve's party aboard the Queen Mary. As Kelly got her stuff together for the trip a knock on the door interrupted David and Donna talking about work._

" _I'll get it." Donna says nicely._

" _Donna Martin?" The UPS delivery driver handed her a letter package, she signed for it, thanked him and closed the door and walked towards David._

" _What's that another birthday message for Steve?" he asked curiously._

" _I don't think so. It doesn't feel like it." Donna shook the package._

 _She looked at it, "It's from Dylan…in London, I didn't even know you got ahold of him." Donna said surprised as she ripped open the UPS Letter envelope._

" _I didn't, nobody knew where he was." David shrugged as Donna opened the package and pulled out the smaller envelope opening the letter._

" _Couldn't find a video camera so I sent Steve this letter…Wait look at the return address." She looked at David. "This is where Brenda lives." she whispered._

 _Kelly came out at that moment interested, "What are you guys whispering about?"_

" _Uh just business." Donna lied sticking the letter back in the package._

 _Kelly rolled her eyes, "Back to that huh…I'll be in the car." Kelly commented unimpressed and walked away._

" _Donna…we should probably tell her, she is going to find out tonight." David looked at Donna oddly._

" _I don't think we should tell her, we don't even know whats going on, why upset her?" she shook her head._

" _Dylan being with Brenda is going to upset her?"_

" _Knowing Kel, Yeah, yeah I think it would."_

 _David looked at Donna disapproving with keeping this a secret. He wouldn't get into it now, but knowing Kelly she would ask and he would tell her the truth. At least as much as he knew._

 _The party was in full swing. Steve's party weekend would go down in the books that was for sure. He even had the Goo Goo dolls playing his party tomorrow night. The gang gathered for dinner and they decided to surprise Steve with the video montage they had made him. It started out with cute baby pictures of Steve, on to school age pics and times in high school. Andrea had sent a video message along with Jim and Cindy Walsh, Steve's half brothers and his mom and dad. Then Donna came on camera reading Dylan's letter. Kelly looked down._

" _I couldn't find a video camera so the words will have to do. Have a great birthday bud! If anyone knows how to celebrate it, you will. Miss you…miss everyone..Dylan McKay."_

 _Andrea had surprised them with a trip out and the gang enjoyed a private dinner with cake and had a lot of laughs and fun._

 _Kelly and David stood at the bar watching everyone dance and drink heavily. Kelly clapped dancing around and nonchalantly decided to ask David, "So when did you talk to Dylan?" She looked around pretending she didn't care much, her voice telling a different story._

 _David took a deep breath, feeling awkward, "I didn't." he said simply_

 _Kelly looked at him interested, "Then…where did the letter come from?" her making eye contact now._

 _David smiled shaking his head, "Look Kel…I'm sure this is bugging you but I'm telling you the truth, I sent an email to Brenda asking her to do the video message for Steve's birthday and the letter came back from Dylan." Kelly looked off the smile now gone from her face._

" _And nothing from Brenda?" Kelly looked at David oddly._

 _David shook his head, "It's weird…Brandon said Brenda isn't even in London." He took a deep breath again, "I don't know I just thought you might get upset."_

 _Kelly shook her head, pretending it didn't bother her, "No I'm not upset…it was good to hear from him." she bit the inside if her lip and looked down._

 _David shook his head, "Yeah it was. Looks like Donna needs my help again." David smiled seeing that clingy Phil trying to put the moves on Donna on the dance floor. He left to save her from him._

 _Kelly looked down before her eyes went out looking towards the people dancing having fun. She took a deep breath realizing…whether Dylan was in London or not, he definitely was in contact with her. He hadn't spoken a word to anyone else in the group. She tried to not let it bother her, but she couldn't help it…it kind of did._

London

I set down my journal resting my head to the back of the couch. I was exhausted but it was too early to go to bed. I wanted to call Brenda but knew telling her what I had did as far as that letter for Steve was probably better to do in person. It had been a week since I'd sent it. I didn't think Brenda would be mad per say but I wasn't sure to be honest. I think it would have probably bothered her more I didn't talk to her about it. I looked at the front door as I heard keys trying to open the front door. Before I could get nervous on someone just waltzing in our home the door swung open and Brenda fiddled with holding her bags and trying to open the door.

A smile spread across my face as I got up to help her, "What are you doing here?" I said happily.

She smiled setting down her purse and leaning in giving me a deep kiss, "We have 4 days off, I charged the flight on my amex and decided instead of waiting for you to come back to me, I'd surprise you…Surprise!" she giggled.

I took her into my arms in a bear hug, "This is a great surprise…I missed you." I squeezed her tightly.

She pulled away, a wide smile on her lips, "I missed you, I thought maybe we could get a jump on packing, who knows maybe move some things over to the new place." she answered back. I nodded thinking that was a good idea.

I watched her walk over to the couch and plop down on it. "Uh…I'm exhausted, 3 shows in a row is a little much." She rested her head back on the couch just had I a minute ago.

I joined her on the couch, "Me too." I said softly all of a sudden feeling guilty I had a secret I was keeping from her.

She looked at me, searching the side of my face. Almost like she knew something was in my mind. "What's wrong?" her hand rested on my thigh.

I exhaled loudly, looked over at her with a small guilty smile, "I have to tell you something."

She looked at me curiously, "Uh oh…that doesn't sound like good news." she tilted her head to the side trying to read me. "What is it?" Worry in he tone.

I shook my head, turning towards her bringing my leg up on the couch, "No…it's not bad…um…I think its good."

"Dylan." she said sternly, she wanted me to go on. I knew the tone.

"Remember that email I told you that David sent…you know the one about Steve's birthday?"

Her curious stare continued as she nodded her head, "Yeah."

I pursed my lips together, "Well….I kind of…kind of sent Steve a birthday message of my own." I waited for the reaction.

She chuckled, "What's wrong with that?"

I looked at her, waiting for it to click, 3…2…1 Que. The faded smile.

"Ah I get it." she looked away from me.

All of a sudden I got worried. I wasn't sure how she would react and by the look of it she wasn't jumping for joy, not that she would but it became clear it dawned on her, by me sending a message from myself but them only reaching out to her, I was here. Or had been or had been in contact enough for Brenda to tell me.

I tried to explain my reasoning, "I know you wanted to wait…but you know I wanted to wish Steve a happy birthday and I thought it was a good time to just…I don't know put it out there." I was rambling and I knew this. She looked at me quickly.

"I'm not mad." she looked at me seriously. "I wish you would have talked to me about it. Maybe I could have wrote a message too." she took a deep breath and smiled, "I don't want us being together, living together to be a secret, please don't think that, it's could have told me…"

"i know…I knew you'd feel that way. And it wasn't deliberate, I just wanted to let them know I was good. That I missed them all but I was doing fine. You understand right?"

She smiled a sweet smiled at me, "Of course I do." she leaned in taking her hot needy lips to mine. She thought for a moment.

"You know there is going to be a lot of people wondering whats going on? I mean here they reach out to me, and get a letter back from you. Maybe we should let Brandon know whats going on?"

I thought about it for a second agreeing instantly. My intention wasn't to be cryptic, she had a good point. Then I realized what exactly this would mean. Not only would the people that we were closest to at one time be wondering what the heck was going on, they would also be wondering why we had kept it from them. They would be hurt even to know we didn't trust this big news with them. It was like Brenda was reading my mind.

"Look…I'll send Brandon an email and you can send Kelly a letter. We'll just let them know that we are living together in London and we were just waiting for the right time to share our exciting news. We can give them our new address and just let them be happy for us." She was so cute. She was so hopeful they would both welcome this news with open arms. I knew Brandon would be supportive, I questioned Kelly a bit to be honest knowing she was always insecure and jealous of my relationship with Brenda but then again, we had both moved on, dated other people. We hadn't truly been together in over two years. Even counting that stupid desperate love triangle between myself and Brandon, Kelly was basically dating Brandon then, I was just being an ass and couldn't stand to lose. I still don't know why I did that. I guess it hurt that she so easily fell in love with my best friend. I deserved it. Kelly was my friend she deserved a letter or something from me sharing this news. She should be happy for us. I smiled at Brenda and nodded, "I think thats a great idea." I was ready for this to be out in the open. I wanted to be able to communicate with Brandon and who ever else in the gang. Send postcards of our travels and truly reconnect with the people that I had grown to love as friends. I kissed her excited that we were coming out as a couple. It was about damn time. That night we wrote our letters together. They mimicked each other to a point. Brenda wrote brandon an email and I wrote Kelly a letter. I would mail it express so it would be there by the end of the long weekend. I was happy and I couldn't wait to hear everyone's reaction to our news. My relationship with Brenda was something to be proud of.

 _Brandon,_

 _Hey you! It's been way too long! I was able to come home from Scotland for a few days, I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed after 4 months. I hope you had a good time in Long Beach for Steve's 21st. I wish I could have sent a video message but being in Scotland, a video camera no where in sight it was too difficult. I'm glad Dylan was able to send a message though. I know you guys must be wondering how he's doing and where he has been hiding all this time? The truth is Dylan has been here in London with me since November. We are living together here in London and he's been traveling back and forth accompanying me during my European tour. It's been pretty amazing having him here and we have been back together for the past 5 months. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, just wanted to wait for the right time. Mom and dad know and even though I could hear the hesitation in dad's voice I think he's happy for us. Mom was over the moon. We are moving, so below is our new address for you. We should be all moved in by the end of this month. I love you Brandon I hope we can catch up soon. Please give everyone my love and give Steve a birthday hug for me. Write or call soon._

 _With love,_

 _Brenda_

 _65_ _Hopton St, London SE1 9LF, UK_

 _Kel,_

 _I hope this letter finds you well. I'm sorry I've been MIA just needed to get away from Beverly Hills and I apologize for not saying goodbye. I came to London a month after I left and went to Bren. We've been having fun traveling, she's touring right now so its been cool to see a few places I haven't had a chance to see before. I wanted to write you to let you know I'm doing well. I'm happy and Brenda and I have been back together for the past 5 months and are living together here in London. Below is our new place's address. We should be moved in my the end of the month. Thank for being a good friend and I hope to keep in touch. Please give my love to everyone._

 _Your friend,_

 _Dylan_

 _65_ _Hopton St, London SE1 9LF, UK_

 _Beverly Hills_

 _After returning home from Long Beach, Brandon logged on to his computer checking his email. He smiled reading the email from Brenda. He was happy for them. He knew how much his sister loved Dylan and he always knew Dylan gave his heart away to Brenda a long time ago. Things happen and time passed but hearing Brenda and Dylan were back together and living together in London hadn't surprised him. He had always thought they would reconnect like they had seemed to before she had moved away. Brandon went though the pile of mail that he had come home to sorting it into piles. He looked up oddly as he heard the door bell ring. It seemed late and he wasn't expecting anyone. Susan and him had broken up, her taking a job in Washington D.C and he wasn't sure he was in the mood for company. He got up and pulled opened the door surprised to find Kelly behind it._

" _Kel? Hi." he smiled widely._

 _Kelly smiled back shyly, "Hi…can I come in?" she asked after seeing he wasn't asking her too._

 _He laughed, "Yeah sure…come in. Everything ok?"_

 _Brandon and Kelly had moved back into a good friendship but still it wasn't normal for Kelly to show up unannounced at 11 o'clock at night._

" _Um…nothing really…I just don't really feel like being alone." She looked at Brandon's baby blues and smiled._

 _He nodded agreeing, at first he thought he wanted to be alone but now having Kelly here he was glad._

" _Steve and Claire here?" She walked into the kitchen and Brandon followed._

" _No actually, they are out still celebrating and Val is at the club. I'm kind of glad you're here, I was just kicking around here by myself." He looked down shyly before meeting her eyes._

" _So um…can I get you something?" he said making conversation._

 _Kelly laughed seeing through his nervousness, "No…I'm good…thanks." she set her keys down on the kitchen counter and looked at him. "Um…I got a letter from Dylan." she looked at Brandon for a reaction. "Wanting me know he was in London."_

 _He pursed his lips together nodding, "I had an email waiting for me from Brenda that said the same thing."_

" _Did she mention that they were living together?" Kelly's face got serious._

 _Brandon took a deep breath, he didn't want to see this. He nodded, "Yeah…yeah she did." he said matter a factly and walked around her to the refrigerator. Silence filled the kitchen and Brandon thought the worst. That this bothered her. Bothered her more than it should. Bothered like someone who was jealous. Then she surprised him._

" _Brandon." she said turning towards him, him following and turning towards her. "Do you think…there will ever be a chance for us again?" she looked down shyly a small smile on her lips._

 _He looked at her, searching for some hesitation and found nothing._

" _Yeah…sure." he said as he looked into her eyes. "If you want there to be."_

" _I do…I always have. I tried so hard to do the right thing last year when I turned you down. I told myself I was making the right choice but I really didn't have any choice at all."_

 _Brandon looked at her hurt, "Yeah you did."_

" _Choosing between you and Dylan…think about how that would have affected the two of you? What kind of choice is that?"_

 _Brandon took a deep breath, thinking about it, it would have been a nightmare, he shrugged, "Maybe you're right." agreeing._

 _Kelly looked lovingly into his eyes, "I just want another chance." she admitted honestly. "If you think you could let that happen."_

 _He stared at her wanting to take her back. He loved kelly, that was just plain and simple but the truth of the matter was, if he took her back he wouldn't know for sure if she really wanted to be with him, or was it the fact Dylan and Brenda were back together after all this time. Was it just a feeling of longing and looniness since they were both just coming out of relationships?_

" _Look Kelly…I can't say I haven't had those thoughts myself." he exhaled already regretting what he was going to say. "But were both on the rebound, rushing into something would just be a recipe for disaster."_

 _Kelly looked away disappointed, she nodded as her heart broke. He was right but it still didn't change the fact she wanted to be with him. He continued, "I think maybe we should just give it some time." he stepped closer to her._

 _Kelly smiled and huffed, "That's exactly what Andrea said." She had asked her for advice in Long Beach._

" _Well Andrea is a smart girl, she goes to Yale you know.? Brandon joked trying to lighten the mood. "Are you sure you don't want to stay for a late dinner, I was going to order in some Cambodian food, A little dim sum and then some?" Brandon kept the corny jokes coming._

 _Kelly laughed thinking he was adorable. She shook her head, "No..I just wanted to talk to you." They stared into each other eyes. "So call me sometime…more than you have been."_

 _Brandon smiled, "I will."_

 _Kelly leaned in and pressed her lips to his. She lingered for a second, feeling his warm lips against hers. She pulled away slowly and smiled. Then she walked towards the front door to show herself out. Valerie walked around the corner hearing everything they had talked about._

" _Hi." she said getting Brandon's attention._

 _H"i Val." Brandon said surprised she had been standing there._

" _So….do you think you guys are going to get back together again?" She walked closer to him uneasy about it._

 _Brandon smiled, "You saw that huh?"_

" _Yeah I'm sorry I wasn't eavesdropping, just didn't want to interrupt."_

" _Well don't jump to any conclusions."_

" _So you're saying it wouldn't happen? she was trying to get information._

 _Brandon shrugged and smiled, "I don't know…Dylan and Brenda found each other in a town of 15 million. If you count the outlining areas…It could happen." he smiled and walked out of the kitchen leaving Valerie looking after him._

 _She took a deep breath, "Not if I can help it." she said out loud._

 _So everyone knows. What did you think? Just so everyone knows, especially the people that stopped watching after Shannon left, this was exactly what happened on the show. Maybe a line added here and there and those letters but overall the dialogue was the same. Hit review, you won't see BH except for updates and calls for awhile if ever again. Hit review…want to know what you guys are thinking._


	20. Chapter 20

Rated M for Brenda and Dylan's hot bedroom action. Enjoy!

Chapter 20

 _Reaching late his flower,_

 _Round her chamber hums_ _–_

 _Counts his nectars_ _–_

 _Enters_ _–_ _and is lost in Balms._

 _Emily Dickinson_

I loved this new apartment. I only had a few days off so we wouldn't be able to move in entirely. Dylan and I had started packing up the bookshelf at least, also things we didn't need everyday. The open loft upstairs we were going to set up like an office. Where Dylan could write and I could rehearse lines, things like that. It would also be a cool 2nd den set up. With a couch and coffee table. I walked in to the master bedroom and placed my hands on my hips. I looked around visualizing how we would decorate. I wasn't very girly so I figured something earth tone, maybe a blue. No pastels or floral prints. I wanted Dylan to really like this place. He seemed to be just as in love with it as I was. The coolest part was last year I couldn't afford this place but even now with my play being a semi steady thing for now I could actually live here alone, which even though it wasn't necessary it was a pretty awesome feeling. I closed my eyes as two gentle arms wrapped around my waist from behind. His head to the side of my neck as he squeezed me gently. I exhaled as I felt his lips kiss my neck.

"Mmmm." I moaned feeling the chills run down my spine as he sucked my neck moving down to my shoulder.

"What were you thinking about? he mumbled against the spot below my ear. His wet lips opened and closing down on my neck again and I forgot what I had been thinking about.

"Uh…who cares." I breathed.

Dylan chuckled giving me a gentle squeeze again before letting me go. I turned to look at him, my eyes piercing his with lust. "Don't stop." I pouted.

"Food's here woman, you need to eat something." Dylan picked up the bag I hadn't known was next to him and made his way into the bedroom. He spread out a blanket that we had brought from the old apartment unto the middle of the master bedroom, sat down and started pulling out our dinner.

"Bon appétit." he said with a smile.

"Travaillons un appétit?" I smirked.

He looked at me and laughed, "Après le dîner." he said opening his Styrofoam container, taking out his burger and taking a big bite in true piggy fashion.

I huffed, I knelt down in front of him and looked at him hungrily, "Bouffes moi la chatte." I blushed with my dirty words.

Dylan coughed and practically choked on his burger, his face turning red. He took a moment to recover.

He sat there speechless, a twinkle in his eye, I leaned in and brought my mouth to his ear, "Doigtes moi." I whispered my hot breath in his ear. His breathe hitched and he groaned. With out another second his burger was thrown in the styrofoam container and he was on his knees facing me.

"Keep talking dirty to me in French and I swear to god…"

"You'll do what?" I egged him on.

He leaned his face close to mine. The sides of our noses touching, "I will fuck you so hard you will forget your own name. C'est une promesse." His voice laced with lust. I had him where I wanted him. My stomach flipped with excitement.

"You promise me huh?" I said as I leaned away from his face so I could see his eyes.

Dylan kissed me hard, exhaling as our lips touched. He gently laid me on my back, settling between my legs hovering over me, "You drive me crazy." he whispered, taking my lips with his again. His tongue forced his way into my mouth and I moved mine with his forcefully. He had me panting just from his kisses, I wanted him, I ached for him. My whole body tingled with desire. I pouted as he stopped kissing me and went to his knees looking down at me. His eyes filled with lust but more of love. He didn't look away as he unbuttoned my jean cutoff shorts, pulling them off with force, my panties coming down with them. His urgency gone he grabbed my hands sitting me up, he pecked my lips before pulling my t-shirt over my head. His lips went to my shoulder as he undid my bra as he tossed it across our new unfurnished bedroom. He kissed me again, laying me back down. This kiss was sexual, less fierce. My hands grabbed his head as he kissed down my chest, taking my nipple in his mouth in a slow suck. My eyes closed feeling the intensity of his mouth. He switched sides not wanting to leave the other one out. He places sensual open mouth kisses down my stomach, my hip, the inside of my thigh. He spread my legs laying between them. His eyes focused on mine, his tongue reached out and slowly licked up my core causing me to moan loudly. My hand went to the side of his head as I watched him feast on me. Slow steady laps, up, down, he flattened his tongue against me and licked in a circle. I couldn't take it. I needed more, I needed it faster. With my heels planted on the floor I lifted my butt of the ground, pushing myself into him, giving myself more control I moved faster with him. His hand pushed my hips down strongly.

My eyes met his, "Uh Uh." he breathed against me.

"Dylan." I whispered, "Please." I begged.

His eyes piercing mine, his tongue still invading my intimate area he slowly shook his head no. He wanted to torture me. I closed my eyes trying to enjoy his slow attack, even though I ached for more. My panting filling the room and soft cries of pleasure. I felt him insert a finger as he continued to work on my clit. My eyes opened to find him watching me. It was the most erotic sight, only his eyes visible from between my legs as he slowly pumped his index finger in and out of me, licking me in long stroks. I leaned up on my elbows wanting to watch him but he entered a second finger and my head fell back with pleasure. He sped up a little, happy his slow torture was over. With his index finger and middle finger pumping in and out of me he sped up his tongue, moving it side to side around in a circle. My back hit the blanket as I grabbed his head and arched up. It felt so good. I was getting close.

"Don't stop." I moaned out which made him grow more urgent.

He groaned against me as I moved with him, he was liking it as much as I did. He curled his fingers inside me and hit the spot. I moaned out again too loud, I came hard against his face a few seconds later, shaking as I felt my eyes roll back into my head. Ecstasy.

I felt him move away from me and place a kiss on the inside of my thigh. "I love to watch you cum." he said breathy.

My eyes still closed I panted out still coming down from my release, I smiled. I heard his zipper and the movement of him taking off his pants. As I opened my eyes I saw him above me, naked now, his lust full lids heavy, his hard member at my opening. I was ready for him. He entered me slowly, allowing me to get used to the fullness. He was rock hard and ready to burst. His next thrusts were deep and hard. I watched him close his eyes as he exhaled loudly, fucking me. He sat back on his heels pulling me towards him. His hands on my hips gripping tightly, almost painfully, pulling me into every thrust he gave me. His hands ran down the outside of my thighs as he pumped in and out of me. He lifted my legs pulling them up and setting them against his chest and shoulders. He hit deeper this time and the feeling he gave me with the curl of his fingers came back full force. My legs fell open wide and I watched his eyes look down. Watching himself enter me and pulling out. It turned me on to watch him. I took my own fingers and found my center. I touched myself as he claimed me over and over. Dylan's eyes met mine, confirming that he was even more turned on. He looked back down at us joined together, watching me play with myself as he pumped in and out of me quickly. I was going to come undone again, with this new sensation. Dylan's grunts became louder and I knew he was close too. He grabbed my hips roughly, lifting them off the ground into him, He rammed a deep hard thrust 2 more times and stilled deep inside me. His head fell back with a long groan and again I was shaking against him as I exploded, my walls tightening around him . I watched him come down, his eyes fixated on mine. He let go of my hips and legs now and leaned down over me, still inside me, I felt him softening.

He kissed my lips sweetly, "I can't get enough of you." he smiled against my lips.

I smiled back and kissed him again, "Was it always like this?" I asked seriously.

"No." he breathed out laying beside me, "I think you've learned a few more tricks." He closed his eyes taking a deep breath. After a beat, his head looked over at me, "Please don't tell me where you learned it from." He said disgusted and looked at the ceiling.

I laughed shaking my head, "Hey." I turned on my side bringing my hand to his face making him look at me. "No one has ever made me feel like you do." I looked deeply into his eyes, "No one." I repeated.

He stared into my eyes hopefully finding truth behind them and his expression softened. He leaned in and kissed me softly. Running his sweet tongue against mine. "Can we spend the rest of our lives like this?" He asked me serious.

I smiled, "What..naked?" My smile widened.

His serious expression not faltering as he stared into my eyes, "No…together." he simply stated.

My heart skipped a beat as butterflies filled my stomach. I nodded with a smile and leaned in taking his lips with mine again. "You're my one and only true love." he said with emotion.

"You've always had my whole heart." I said back to him. He nodded knowing this and kissed me again, leaning up on his elbow holding his head in his hand.

"I love my life here with you, I love our new place, I love everything about you." he said softly.

"I love it all too baby. Having you here with me is like a dream. I've loved you from the first moment I met you."

He smiled shyly. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you Brenda." Man he was being so lovey dovey right now. Don't get me wrong I loved this. Dylan was alway lovey with me but there was something in his eyes. Some seriousness that I had only seen with him here in London.

"I'm yours…forever Dylan." And that was the truth. This man would always have a piece of my heart…my soul. I had always thought it more one sided. I guess I was wrong. Whatever it took to get here was showing to be well worth it. If we had to go through all the heartache and pain to be here in this place now, I wouldn't change it for the world. We cuddled and ended up sleeping at our new place. On the floor in each other arms. Dylan's head rested on my chest, almost childlike as he cuddled into me. I played with his hair as the sound of soft snores filled the master bedroom. He wanted to be with me forever. I then wondered what forever meant to him. Was it marriage? A family and a white picket fence? I was too young for all of that now but I could see it. Dylan as a husband, maybe a father. I went to bed that night with a smile on my face. I wanted forever with Dylan so much I could taste it.

 _So sexy chapter I know. These two are older, crazy in love with each other and both horn dogs LOL I hope you liked it. The French dirty talk was REALLY dirty LOL Use a translation search if you want. Sorry head of time if its not your thing. Don't want to offend anyone, hopefully my fellow horn dogs will look it up and the people that aren't wont. Any who next chapter skips ahead about a month bringing them to summer. There's a guest coming…two actually. Any guesses? Hit review._


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 _Family comes together_

 _For always and forever_

 _In sickness and in health_

 _In poverty or in wealth_

 _Family comes together_

 _For always and forever_

 _Without any reason_

 _Anytime or any season_

 _Family comes together_

 _For always and forever_

 _In death or in life_

 _In happiness or in strife_

 _Family comes together_

 _For always and forever_

 _In anger or in kindness_

 _Whether all seeing or in blindness_

 _Family comes together_

 _For always and forever_

 _Whether for work or for play_

 _They somehow find a way_

 _For family to come together_

 _Because families are forever_

 _Thomas Moore_

I watched her as she filled the laundry basket with our clothes for the wash. She hummed a song that I had heard on the radio before. Can I just tell you without seeming too whipped? Brenda and I were so great together. Long gone was the drama we had before. Long gone was the obstacles we had once faced. We were that couple you hated to be around either because we made you nauseous or jealous. Brenda was a sexy little vixen too. Sex was beyond phenomenal. I mean being with her you felt every touch, every kiss, ever caress to the absolute fullest, it was electric. Being inside her was like heaven and hell all rolled into one. We had the freedom of experimenting and trying new things and being together anytime we wanted. Brenda and I were always sexy together. We were always physical and our chemistry was so hard to deny, even at 16 but now it was so wonderful, I wondered how long it would last. The physical, the lust, it fades after awhile but it was so far from it at this point. Even her getting our laundry together I wanted to bend her over the couch and take her from behind. She was wearing a little navy blue dress, her fair skin looked appealing against it. It was short, showing off her sexy slim legs. Every so often she would bend over and I would get a glimpse of her black lace underwear she was wearing. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.

We had been in our new apartment for a couple weeks. After Brenda's tour ended in Scotland we moved in the rest of our things and started making this new place a home. I loved it here. The apartment was large and open. It had great light and a pretty cool roof balcony that over looked the theater district. I was really liking being a live in boyfriend and a kept man. I helped with shopping at the market, I know, that surprised Bren too. I actually got in the habit of using the hamper. When Brenda cooked which had been often, I helped with the dishes. Long gone was that drama we had living together that summer before our senior year.

I stared at her, I couldn't help it. She was so god damn beautiful and so sexy.

"I took out chicken for dinner." she commented as she brought the clean load of laundry over to the couch to fold after putting the new load in. She began folding clothes, not paying much attention to me. She made a pile of her stuff and mine. I reached up and moved her hair off her shoulder so it laid on her upper back. My eyes never leaving her face.

"What else do you want? I can make a salad or I think I have stuff to make rice pilaf?

I continued to stare at her. "Dylan?" she finally looked at me.

"Oh no…don't look at me like that." she shook her head eyeing me.

"Look at you like what?"

"You have _the_ look and no."

I tilted my head to the side, "What look?"

She gave me a semi amused expression, "You know exactly the look…the I want to fuck you look, let me bend you over this couch and take you from behind look." she looked away and folded a white t-shirt of mine.

I laughed knowing she knew how my mind worked way too well.

"Seriously you're in the mood again? We just did it this morning." she smiled bringing her attention to my boxers she folded nicely. "I have 2 more loads and dinner to make."

My hand came to her neck, gripping it gently, "Come here." I said softly.

She looked at me playfully annoyed but loving every minute of this. "What?"

"Just a kiss baby…come here."

She sighed and leaned in to me placing her lips on mine. I deepened the kiss moving my tongue with hers. She pulled away with a smirk.

"Happy?" she said her eyes on mine.

"Almost." My arms were around her now as I lifted her and placed her on my lap so she was straddling me.

"Dylan." her tone defeated, I knew I was winning.

Without saying anything I headed into make out territory. My hands groping her breasts. She breathed out throwing up her invisible white flag of defeat and kissed me back. My arms wrapped around her waist pulling her center against me so I could grind against her heat. My hands coming down to her legs caressing her softly, moving up her thighs and grabbing her perfect ass with a squeeze. My hands ran under her underwear so I could feel her bare bottom under my palms. She reached down between us grabbing my huge bulge causing me to moan in her mouth. Fucking vixen I tell you. Things were getting heated quickly, she had managed to unbutton my jeans. Before I knew it she was pulling my jeans down my legs and freeing my manhood as she knelt between my legs. She took my length into her mouth, my hand gently finding the back of her head as I played with her hair. My head fell back against the couch feeling her wet mouth on me. She carried on sucking me, licking me and using her small hand to pump me before she was standing before me. My girl knew how to give head but I wanted to be inside her. Shimming her panties down to her ankles, she kicked them off. She straddled me, reaching down between us, lining herself up, she lowered herself onto me with a groan. She Swiveled her hips, rocked back and forth taking control and I was in ecstasy. As we touched, kissed and enjoyed each other there was a knock at out door.

"Go away." I said softly the feeling of pure pleasure running through my veins. The doorbell this time chimed. "Are you expecting someone?" I whispered against her lips.

"No…they'll go away in a second." she answered back, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck. Moving her hips faster, moaning against my mouth. I met her movements with my own. She felt so good.

We continued to make love as the door knock became louder.

"Who is it?" I yelled at the rude ass person not getting the hint that I was buried inside heaven at the moment.

"Dylan?" I heard the familiar voice. What…the…fuck?

Brenda and I parted our lips from one another turning our heads slowly towards the front door, our movements frozen. We looked at each other, our expression matching one another, still attached and in each other arms.

"Iris?" we both whispered.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" My head hit the back of the couch.

"Shit." Brenda got up quickly, brushing down her dress that had been around her waist moments ago.

"Seriously what the fuck am I suppose to do with this?" I looked down at my full erect cock laying largely on my stomach, painfully swollen and in need of release.

Brenda looked at it and laughed covering her mouth, bending over at the waist, giggling like a school girl. She picked up my jeans while she was down there and threw them at my lap, "Hurry up." she hushed whispered.

"Coming" I yelled, "Or I was going to be." I said quietly. Brenda giggled.

"Dylan?" she called back hearing me.

"Hold on." This woman I swear to god.

"My mother has impeccable fucking timing."

As I stood up pulling my jeans over my butt, I tried my best to adjust the boner I had and tucked it securely away from company, not just any company, my fucking mother. I untucked my shirt covering it. I looked at Brenda, she seemed nervous as she brushed down her hair with her hand. I stepped in front of her, kissing her gently, "My mother loves you." My expression turning confused, "How did she know where I was?"

Brenda shrugged and motioned to go open the door as the door bell chimed again.

I got to the front door looking back at Brenda that had moved closer but practically hid behind me, I took a deep breath. As I exhaled I opened the door seeing my mother smiling at me, with a glint of impatience behind her eyes.

"Dylan." she said in true Iris fashion.

"Iris? Uh…really? London?" her face turned serious, sadness hitting her eyes.

"You're not happy to see me? I haven't seen you in over a year." It was longer than that.

I exhaled feeling the guilt trip, "Of course I am, how did you know I was here?"

She looked down shyly, "I had called the Walsh's looking for you, after coming up empty I had asked to speak to Cindy…to my surprise Cindy and Jim had moved but Brandon had given me their number. Cindy said you were living here, gave me the address and phone number telling me I HAD to check in and see what you were up too, I worried about you after hearing about." She didn't say her name, "You know you don't always handle things in the most positive way." She tried looking past me, I knew my mother, she was looking for Brenda or any girl probably. "Is someone else here, I thought I heard a female voice when I walked up to the door." Brenda's forehead hit my back as she shook her head against it, I didn't have to see her to know she was mortified.

"I don't know what you have against the telephone, if you would have called, I would have told you I was doing just fine, great actually." This was like deja vu, every time my mother visited me, it was a sneak attack. I think she thought if she told me ahead of time I would magically disappear, who am I kidding I probably would have. Brenda who stood practically in back of the door touched my arm and I knew she was thinking I was being a rude asshole.

Iris huffed annoyed, "Aren't you going to let me in? This is an amazing apartment, you lived here long?" she looked past me again. Jesus she heard us.

I sighed, "Just about 2 weeks, just moved in." I held the door pushing it father open giving her access to walk inside. She walked forward looking around. She hadn't turned around yet as she investigated the place. I closed the front door silence filling our apartment as Brenda walked over standing beside me.

"This place has so much light." she commented. "I thought London would be dreary, this place is magical."

I wrapped my arm around Brenda's shoulders bringing her close to me and Iris turned to face us. A wide smile filled her face, the light wrinkles around her eyes showing a little bit of age now.

"Oh." she whispered, her hand went to her heart. "Brenda." she looked like she was going to cry. "Oh sweetie, come here." she walked toward her and Brenda left my side meeting her in a hug. She embraced my mother tightly. Iris looked up at me with pride and happiness in her eyes.

They moved away from each other my mother's hands still on Brenda's arms, "You look gorgeous." she looked her up and down, admiring her. Like a mother would taking in her grown up daughter.

"Iris…it's so good to see you again."

Iris brought her hand to Brenda's cheek, looking at her. "It's so good to see you too."

Ok mom we get it, you love Brenda.

Iris almost shook out of the shock. "Ok tell me everything, when did this happen? Are you guys living together? Are you actually finally together together?" she looked around feeling awkward remembering what she heard, "Did I interrupt you two?" She knew me way to well too.

Brenda looked at me, blush hitting her cheeks, "No." She was a horrible liar. I'm pretty sure her face gave it away even if my mom hadn't heard our sex noises.

"Yes…you actually did. More than ever before…thank you very much, as usual mother your timing is impeccable." Her eyes were sympathetic.

"Don't listen to him, would you like something to drink?" Brenda said nicely.

"Yes…thank you, water or tea would be perfect." Brenda nodded and headed to the kitchen.

My mother pursed her lips together looking toward the ground, She bent over picking up something and then I realized what it was.

"Oh shit…" I lunged for the panties she was holding up on her index finger.

"It wouldn't be a trip to see you without catching you with a girl, and my favorite one at that, this definitely is the first tine with undergarments though." Any mother would be horrified, maybe even a bit angry but my mother, Iris McKay had a sparkle in her eye like she was proud, happy even. She was a freaking sick woman.

I placed her panties into the laundry basket and started picking up the rest of the clothes Brenda had started to fold. I placed them nicely in the basket and set it out of the way. I looked at my mother, who had sat down on the couch. She eyed me with a smirk. I rolled my eyes knowing what she was thinking, I was handling laundry after all. "Stop." I shook my head.

"I didn't say anything sweetheart, you seem good."

"I am." I sat leaving room for Brenda to join us on the couch. "Where's Erica?"

Iris smiled, "She's back at the hotel, I thought I would come here first see you, make sure you were okay."

"Ah…" I understood, "Not much faith in me I see."

"Oh Dylan it's not that." she sighed, "When Cindy insisted I check in with you I got the feeling she was hiding something. I'm sorry I thought the worst, I was sorry to hear about your...wife…" She shook her head looking down before meeting my eyes almost like it was hard to say that word, "Now I understand what Cindy meant, she knows about you two?" she looked towards the kitchen as Brenda brought a tray out, it holding an iced tea and two cokes, crackers and cheese.

"She does mom. And thanks. I'm truly okay."

"It's so warm here right now I brought you iced tea instead. Is that ok?" Brenda looked nervous.

"It's perfect thank you." Brenda set down the tray on the coffee table and sat close to me. My arm automatically winding around her waist. She looked at me and I leaned in kissing her almost forgetting my mother was staring at us. Brenda pulled away with a smile realizing we had an audience, unlike me apparently.

"So…how did this happen?" Iris looked at us proudly. I knew she was ecstatic.

Brenda looked at me before looking at Iris. "Dylan came here about 7 1/2 months ago. We actually just moved in here a couple weeks ago, my first place was much smaller."

"And…you've been living together this whole time?"

Brenda's voice nervous, "I know it may seem kind of sudden…"

My mom laid her hand gently on Brenda's knee interrupting her train of thought, "Sudden? Oh Brenda." she shook her head with small laugh. We looked at her curiously.

"I've been waiting for this for years, you guys have always belonged together, it took you long enough." we both laughed and my lips kissed the side of Brenda's head.

"I'm so happy for you both." Iris sincere and I knew she was on cloud nine, funny it was the first time we were on the same page. I was on cloud nine myself.

"Where are you staying?" I asked her.

"The Piccadilly." I thought that was amusing since I had camped out there for a week before I grew some balls and asked Brenda if I could stay with her.

Brenda then looked at me, the same thought crossing her mind.

"Let's go get Erica, maybe we can go out to dinner?" I asked thinking we probably didn't have enough chicken for 4.

"Erica is here?" Not thinking it was possible Brenda's smile grew. She looked at me, excitement in her eyes.

"She is…oh she is going to be completely thrilled to hear about this." My mothers hand pointed at me and then at Brenda. "Do you know she JUST asked me last week if she could call you Brenda. I didn't have your number here. I had only heard in passing you had moved here. I will admit I had hoped coming here to London, I'd find my son came to you. I should really think about getting a new psychic, she didn't mention anything like this." She said low contemplating, I rolled my eyes.

"Gosh I haven't seen Erica in forever, how old is she now?" Brenda asked nostalgic.

"Almost 16." my mother and I said at the same time.

"You're kidding?" Brenda looked at me surprised. "Oh my god I feel old." she huffed.

"You? sweetie, If you guys are old I'm ancient."

"I don't know about that, you look amazing." Brenda was right, my mom was a beautiful woman. She aged well too, besides the slight lines around her eyes she looked like she did when I was a kid. Light brown hair still wavy, she was sun kissed from Hawaii living, she was natural and wore earth tones. I never noticed how beautiful my mom really was.

She flipped her wrist embarrassed. "You're too sweet."

"Where should we eat?" I looked at Brenda, my arm still tightly around her waist.

"What do you feel like Iris?" turning her attention to her.

"I only eat organic." she said shyly.

Brenda smiled, "I know the perfect place."

I took a deep breath…great.

We walked down the hallway to my mother's hotel room. Brenda and I hand and hand. My mother walked behind us so we stopped so she could show us which room was hers. When our eyes met, she had been looking at our joined hands and smirking. I wasn't used to making my mother so happy. It felt odd. She hummed a happy sigh and used her key card to open the door. I looked inside seeing my sister fiddling with her walkman when her head raised making eye contact with me. Her face lit up in a wide grin. She tossed the walkman on the bed and rushed towards me. I was ready to catch her in a hug when she stopped suddenly, her eyes went down looking at Brenda and I's hands clasped together, "No way." she said softly looking up at us.

I looked over at Brenda and smiled, "No way…are you shitting me?" I was taken back by her being so grown up.

"Language Erica really." Iris sighed. The language must not have been a new thing.

Her arms wrapped around mine and Brenda's neck as she hugged us, "Are you fucking kidding me?" she whispered excitedly so my mom wouldn't hear and Bren and I chuckled. My god my sister was the age we were when we met. What a trip.

She pulled out and brought both arms around to my back and I squeezed her tightly. I had missed her and until this moment I wasn't fully aware how much. "Dylan…I missed you so much."

"I missed you too kid." We released each other.

"How's life in Hawaii?"

She nodded with a smile, "It's pretty good."

Iris rolled her eyes playfully, "She loves it, don't let her down play it. You should see her surf Dylan, she won the girls competition last month on North Shore." Freaking awesome!

"Did you?" I smiled proudly, "Coming from the girl who I taught how to swim."

She laughed, "Yeah…thanks for that by the way."

"Brenda…how's theater life?" Erica said interested.

"It's great…I just finished touring with Spring Awakening for the last six months. I'm taking a breather and I'll probably audition for a fall production. I'm officially graduating in two weeks." Brenda smiled proud of her success.

"Congratulations." Both Iris and Erica said at the same time.

I smiled at Brenda and moved my arm around her shoulders. I kissed her temple, "She was amazing in it…we toured Switzerland and Scotland. Sweden was our favorite." I looked at her as she stared at me. A silent private joke on our trip there. Our moment did not go unnoticed.

"Ok now…how did this happen?" she looked between us.

"Yes…Bren and me are together, yes we live together, yes I've been here the whole time."

The girls laughed sweetly. "I knew it by the way." she looked at Brenda

Brenda shook her head knowing some hidden meaning.

"Knew what?" I was curious now.

"Knew you loved her….I told Bren years ago, after that college play. I told her you were in love with her. Everyone knew…even whats her name." Oh god.

Brenda looked at me with a smirk finding the whole thing funny.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I joked.

"Because babe, you had to pull your own head out of your…"

"Ass." Erica finished her sentence with a smile, "Sorry Iris. We all knew…right?" she looked at my mom.

"You're right." Iris practically sang smiling.

I rolled my eyes being out numbered. I looked around the room surrounded by beautiful women. "Let's go eat. It's good to have you guys here." I said truthfully.

"Of course, we're family." Iris tilted her head.

"That we are." I agreed taking Brenda's hand as we followed out of the room.

After dinner we headed back to the apartment so Erica could see our place. She loved it of course. She ran up the loft stairs so fast it made me laugh. "This is so rad." I heard her say.

Both Brenda and I eyed each other and then looked at my mom. She looked like she had something on her mind.

Brenda took the hint and called out. "Erica…let me show you our room." My sister replied with a simple "K" and off they went. I walked over to my mom and sat next to her. She sat on the edge of the couch and took my hand.

"I'm so happy for you son. I know you are going to think I'm silly but your energy is so positive and light. I was scared what I would find here." she said honestly.

"I'm sorry I made you worry, I'm doing pretty damn good." She smiled at my words.

Her expression turning serious as she turned my hand over and traced the lines down my palm. "I'm sorry I didn't come to your wedding." She took a breath, "It seems silly now, seeing you and Brenda so happy."

I shook my head, "It's ok. It was last minute I wasn't upset about it."

"I know but regardless, I should have put my personal feelings aside and came to support you." It didn't really matter at the time why my mom didn't come but now I was sort of curious.

"So Iris…why didn't you?"

"A wise old man once said…only fools rush in. I'm sorry, I just didn't think she was the one and I couldn't stand there and watch you marry into a family that was responsible for your fathers death."

I was taken back, I hadn't realized she knew any of this. "Well…Toni…sort of separated from her father."

"He tried to kill you, you think he would have given up so easily if Antonia hadn't been in that car?"

I took a deep breath, "Your point exactly."

"My point Dylan is, I should have believed in you and your choice and I'm sorry for letting you down." Iris smiled, "I think it's unfortunate what happened, its a tragedy but I also believe everything happens for a reason."

"You didn't let me down." I laughed a soft laugh, "Yes…everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and make bad decisions, isn't that how the saying goes, it's fitting for me." I made light. "You were right, I shouldn't have married her, we did rush into it and she would still be alive today if we hadn't. It seems like a pretty pointless way to die, for a mistake."

My mother smiled at me and patted my hand. She looked wise all of a sudden, serious, "Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us." I looked into my moms eyes, "The wrong choices bring us to the right places. Brenda is your meant to be. She is the best thing that has ever happened to you and this is the right place to be. Here…with her. I'm proud of you son. I love you and I love Brenda. I wish nothing but the best in this life and every life after because you will cross paths in the next one, two souls that are meant to be always do." Leave it to my mom to get spiritual and make fucking sense. I hated that I believed her but when it came to knowing Brenda for many lifetimes to come, it was hard not to like the sound of it. We both heard Erica and Brenda giggle in the bedroom and we both smiled.

"Thanks mom." I leaned in and hugged her. "I'm glad your here." I heard her sigh happily. I knew why, she always did that when I called her mom. My mother was a smart woman, I should have listened to her a long time ago.

 _How did you like it? Sweet huh. I love me some Iris. The next chapter is Brenda and Erica in the bedroom. They are having a heart to heart as well :) I know most of you guessed Jim and Cindy but nope, not yet anyway. Hit review, let me know what your thinking. I LOVE the reviews I'm getting. You guys are the BEST!_


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 21

 _To me you are an angel in disguise._

 _Full of intuition, you are intelligent and wise._

 _Always giving and helping through_

 _Good times and bad._

 _You are the best friend I've ever had._

 _If I had one wish, it would surely be_

 _To give you as much as you've given to me._

 _Though I've put our relationship through some cloudy days,_

 _You've been my sunshine in so many ways._

 _Through trials and tests, right by me_

 _You stood,_

 _And you gave me your hand whenever you could._

 _Thank you so much, my sister, my friend._

 _My gratitude for you has no end._

 _Leann Stiegman_

I looked at Erica as she looked through my closet. She pulled out a little short back number that I hadn't worn once since being here in London.

"This is rad." she held it against her. I smiled, she was 16 freaking years old. Wow crazy how time flies and kids grow up. She was a young woman. Gone was the awkward little girl mad at who her mother was dating, gone was the curly frizzy hair. Her hair still the same color had a pretty wave to it now and it was long down her back, so thick and pretty. She wore light makeup of mascara and pink lipstick. She was so pretty and had grown up before my eyes it seemed. "Can I try this on?" she turned from the mirror and smiled.

I nodded, "Sure."

"Yes!" she celebrated and started to undress. I looked down at my hands to give her privacy.

"So…how's Hawaii for real? School…boys…Iris?" I looked up at her as she shimmed the tight dress down her thighs. She laughed at my questioning.

"Oh you know…it's okay. Iris is cool, she doesn't bother me too much with rules. School is good, pretty easy actually. And well boys…" she turned around showing me the dress. "There is someone…but no I don't think I found the Dylan to my Brenda…if you know what I mean, he's pretty hot though." Awe that was cute but I could not get over her in that dress.

"Oh my god Erica." I laughed, "You can practically see your." I pointed not sure what to call it. She was taller than me by at least 3 inches, making the dress way too short. "Take it off, if Dylan sees you he'll have a coronary." I continued to laugh and she joined in.

"But I look sexy huh?" she posed.

"You have time for sexy." I shook my head.

She looked at me, "So…you and Dylan huh, how's that going?"

I blushed a little, "It's good…different than before."

She turned looking at herself in the mirror, "Different than when you were my age?"

"Yes…very."

"How?"

"Um…I guess were older. More mature."

"The sex?" she turned facing me.

I smirked and shook my head not answering.

"Oh come on Brenda…I'm not a little kid, I know about sex. I've done it before." She acted like it wasn't a big deal. Holy shit forget the coronary, Dylan would have dropped dead of a heart attack.

I cleared my throat, remembering what it was like to be 16. "Someone special?"

She shrugged, "I thought maybe but he wasn't, after we finally did it at my friend Crystal's birthday party, he dumped me for Regina Moore, this super slut with huge tits and a big ass."

I laughed in my head about the description. "Im sorry." I said feeling bad but finding what she said hysterical.

"Don't be…it happens. I mean how many girls get to have sex for the first time with someone they love?" She said nonchalant. Something I had said a million years ago.

"I did." I looked at her, her eyes meeting mine.

"Dylan?" I nodded. "How old were you?"

"16."

She smiled, "Soooo about the sex then…you can tell me…it's just girl talk. I mean I would never say anything especially because you now know a big piece of information about me and all. We wouldn't want anyone to have coronaries right?" she joked.

I nodded, "Of course." I took a deep breath, "Uh…the sex is good." she looked at me, her expression telling me thats all I get? I chuckled, "Ok…ok…it's pretty fucking fantastic."

We giggled. This was turning out to be the start of a pretty cool friendship. At least I had hoped. I knew when she was that shy 12 year old girl she looked up to me, I also knew that Iris had tried to be a mother to her because her own was bat shit. I wanted to be someone she could trust and talk to. Dylan was my family and this was his. One day maybe she would be mine too.

She turned around and started taking the black dress off. "I'm so freaking happy my brother is with you and not that snob Kelly anymore." I looked down, "Oh come on Bren…please don't tell me you're still friends with her?"

"I…kind of? I mean I haven't talked to her or anything."

Erica pulled her t-shirt over her head and the slip dress she was wearing. Her expression serious, "After what she did to you? You're a loyal person Bren…I don't know if I could have."

"It took a while."

"Yeah…well it wasn't like she really had him anyway. I mean, the guy always put you before her. Just because I was only 12 didn't mean I didn't have ears. It was so obvious he was still in love with you. Maybe Kelly knew it too."

"Maybe." I walked over to my closet and grabbed a red baby doll dress from the closet. "What about this?"

"Oh that's cute." she took it from me. She looked at me with her big brown eyes, "You know I always wanted a sister."

I put my hand on her shoulder, "I did too." I rubbed her shoulder lightly. She moved the dress and placed it over her arm coming in to embrace me.

She sighed happily, "I'm so happy for you guys. I really did always want you guys to be together." I rubbed her back before moving out from her.

"I know you did…and looks like we both got our wish." I smiled.

"Well since we are sisters and we can girl talk and share clothes." She giggled, "How bout you talk to Iris about two things for me."

"Like what?" I was almost scared to know.

"Well…one that I can come visit you again soon." I smiled that one was easy.

"You got it. And two?"

"You help me talk to her about birth control? Without telling Dylan…"

My face fell into my hands. "Oh Erica…you're killing me." I recovered and looked at her. "So your sleeping with this someone you mentioned earlier?"

"Yes…I just want to be responsible, you know?" I swallowed hard.

"Look Erica…you know I love you and I will talk to Iris because if you are sleeping with this boy, you should be protecting yourself but…sex is serious. Not that its not fun, it is…but its a big deal. I just don't want you to think its not. You don't have to sleep with every guy you date, it should be special."

"I…" I interrupted her.

"I know you didn't say you did but getting that out of the way, I'll talk to her and maybe I can take you to see my doctor here in London. We can get you a prescription if she is okay with that, does that sound like a deal?"

She smiled wide, "Yes…it's a deal." She hugged me again. Jesus this conversation was helping me be happy with my decision to be on birth control as well because I wasn't ready to do this for real. She pulled away from me and went to try on the red babydoll dress.

"And lastly sweetie, you still have to protect yourself from sexually transmitted disease ok?" She nodded. "And…I can't keep this from your brother, I know Iris and I know she'll say something and Dylan would be so pissed at me if he heard it from her and not me. You understand right?"

She sighed dramatically as any teenager would, "Yes…I do. I'm sorry I asked you not too. I wouldn't want to be the reason you and Dylan fought or argued."

"Well…we probably will still argue but thank you." I walked over and sat on the bed as she looked at my dresser and picked up the bottle of perfume Dylan had gotten me.

"Go ahead." I reassured her. She smiled and sprayed a little on her wrist bringing it to her nose and smelling it. "You can keep that dress." She looked good in it.

"Thanks Brenda…you're a pretty awesome person and big sister."

"You're a pretty awesome little sister as well." I smiled at her. "I'm here for you anytime."

She thought about something, "I wanted to call you…talk like this. I just didn't know how. And now…here we are…practically family. It's all pretty fucking dope." Erica did a little happy dance and I laughed. It was fucking dope. Kids.

"Celebrating?" I joked.

"Hell yes…it's not everyday your brother picks the girl you want him to be with. I told you I hated him with Kelly right?"

I chucked, "You did." she gave me a knowing look and nodded, turning away from me again.

"Erica?" she turned towards me, "I fucking hated him with Kelly too, like despised, like shoot me in the face and stab me in the heart hated them together." We both smiled and the smile led to laughter and before we knew it we were cracking up like two school girls having the time of our lives. We made a commotion and soon Dylan was leaning against the door frame.

"What's so funny?" he smiled at us.

Erica and I looked at each other, catching out breath.

"Oh you know…girl talk." Erica said. "Hey Dylan you like this dress?" Nice distraction as she showed him the babydoll dress that wasn't too short. This I would keep from him.

"Sure…you look amazing." he said nicely.

"Cool." she said simply, "Brenda gave it to me."

Dylan looked at me, love in his eyes and gratitude I assumed for being sweet to his sister. He came and sat next to me on the bed, placing his hand on my thigh. I leaned in and kissed him innocently.

"She looks better than me in it anyway." I smiled and Erica proudly turned looking at herself in the mirror again.

Dylan's hot breath in my ear, "I don't know about that." he whispered, "But then again, I like you in nothing at all." he said even quieter.

I looked at him surprised since Erica was 5 feet away from us. He smirked and I shook my head with a smile. He grabbed my head bringing me back to his lips as he kissed me deeply.

Erica cleared her throat and stood crossing her arms smirking at us. "Has anyone ever told you, you guys are gross?" she said humor in her voice.

Dylan wrapped his arm around my shoulders pulling me closer to him, "All the time." he said proudly.

I finished rubbing lotion on my legs and arms as I got into bed. I looked over at Dylan reading a book. I had pulled Iris aside before they left, secretly and talked to her about Erica and the pill. She actually didn't seem very surprised which made me wonder why Erica couldn't talk to her herself. We had agreed I could take Erica to Dr. Gerandy before their flight back to Hawaii, which is why I felt the need to tell Dylan. Lord pray for me.

"So…I had a nice talk with Erica tonight." Dylan looked over at me.

"Good. She always liked you, I think she thinks of you as a big sister." he looked back down at the book.

"Yeah…she does…we talked about some, you know, girl teenager stuff."

His attention went to me again, "Like what?" his eyes curious.

I shrugged innocently, "Oh you know…school…clothes…Hawaii and Iris." he nodded looking down at is book unimpressed with the girly subjects. "Sex." His head slowly looked over to me.

"Sex?" his voice stern as he closed his book.

I turned towards him in the bed, "Look Dylan…before you start going crazy, just let me tell you everything first okay?" he looked at me waiting to continue. I took a big breath and exhaled, "Your sister has a boyfriend." He opened his mouth and I placed my fingers to his lips, "She asked me about birth control. I'm taking her to my doctor tomorrow afternoon to get a pap and for him to write her a year supply prescription of birth control pills." His mouth opened again, so I spoke first, "She may not use them or need them for that long but I'm going to make sure she has the option if needed." I took my fingers away from his lips. "You can speak now." I smiled he did not. He sat stunned bringing his own index finger to his lips thinking. Ok maybe this isn't so bad…

"What the fuck does she need to be on the pill for?" he raised his voice. Ok it was bad.

"Dylan." he put his hand up.

"Bren…I let you talk and now it's my turn." I nodded an agreement. Carry on then I thought seeing his point.

"She's not even 16."

"She is almost 16...we were 16." if looks could kill, I looked away from his glare.

"Brenda…that was different. We were different."

I huffed out a laugh, "How exactly?"

"We were more mature." I laughed out loud which pissed him off.

"Oh…okay." my tone sarcastic.

"Fine…we were in love." he thought he had a good point.

"Maybe they are too." then he looked at me annoyed. He moved his hair back roughly.

"So this guy? They're going out?" he calmed a little, I nodded. "And…she is thinking about having sex with him?" his eyes hopeful.

"Mmm…" his hopeful expression fell.

"She's already had sex with him?" My expression confirmed that tidbit. He sighed angrily.

"Ok…ok so she lost her virginity to her boyfriend?"

"Mmm…" he looked at me, this would have been the part in the cartoon when smoke came out of Dylan's ears.

He stood up and got out of bed looking down at me, "She has had sex with numerous guys?" Que smoke as his voice was now yelling. "She's only 16 years old god damn it."

"Sounds like some other McKay I know." Probably not the best time for that comment. I bit my lip.

"Brenda!" he yelled, "I'm a guy!"

Now I was giving him a dirty look, "How very sexist of you Dylan." I said bitchy.

He took a deep breath, "You know what I mean."

"No I don't." I crossed my arms looking at him.

He grabbed his hair frustrated knowing he pissed me off. He took a calming breath and began again, "Brenda…baby." Yes I heard the condescending tone, "I'm just saying…I was not a normal teenager, I didn't have someone to tell me I was being stupid. Erica has that. Yes you and I had sex when we were 16 but…" He paused, oh geez this can't be good, "But…you and I loved each other, we were committed, we dated a long time. And…you didn't go and fuck the whole school after we broke up." his voice raised at the end unable to keep it together anymore. I understood what he was saying. "In my mind, you've only had sex with me." I looked at him and his look told me not to test him. I sighed and got up on my knees so I was in front of him on the bed. I reached up taking his face in my hands and I felt him relax.

"I know baby…I talked to her about it. I told her sex was serious and just because she has done it before didn't mean it wasn't a big deal, I told her she doesn't have to sleep with every guy she dates, it should be special." He looked at me calming and nodded. "Come back to bed." My hands leaving his face and grabbing his hands. He nodded again and climbed in. I cuddled close to him and he responded my wrapping me in his arms. I turned kissing his bare chest.

"Thank you for being there for my sister." He whispered.

I looked up at his pretty brown eyes, now reminding me of his sisters. "That's what big sisters are for." I smiled and he finally smiled back. I leaned up and kissed him. "You know we never got to finish what was so rudely interrupted earlier."

He smirked coming in and kissing me softly again. That night when we made love, you could tell it was different than earlier. Sweet and passionate. Not that the other type of sex wasn't as enjoyable, it definitely was. I think part of being in a successful relationship means knowing what the other needs and I think both Dylan and I both needed to show each other just how much we loved and appreciated each other. We made love for hours how two people should make love. Wholeheartedly, sensually, beautifully and so intimately. We survived our teens, Erica would too and whatever came along the way that she needed advice on, we would be there for her. That's what family did.

 _So what did you think? Brenda is going to be a good friend to Erica, that's how I pictured it anyway. Thanks for the reviews! I'm so happy you're enjoying this story. Keep reading…keep reviewing!_


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

 _Is there always a happy ending,_

 _to every song and a story._

 _Some are happy, and others weep,_

 _and then there are those,_

 _that finish in glory._

 _Is there a happy ending, to every day,_

 _maybe not, when your filled with grief_

 _and it's not stopped raining,_

 _and the sky is grey._

 _Happy endings are made by you_

 _it's how you work, and go about it,_

 _can make that ending come true.._

 _Just be yourself, however small,_

 _and smile when things get out of tune,_

 _a happy ending, can be found._

 _Then life becomes, just one honeymoon_

 _S_ _ylvia_ _S_ _pencer_

I listened to Angie sing the verse we had just written. This felt different somehow. Most of the poems I had written that Angie had put to music were songs about my feelings, my feelings about Brenda, my past demons but mostly happy. Angie had wanted to collaborate like we did when she wrote Fade into you. She was stuck on the chorus and I had helped her work through that one. I could tell something had been wrong today but I wasn't that close to Angie to be able to ask her even though we had hung out often writing in the past. She strummed her guitar and I had the idea of playing it in a different chord. I didn't really play the guitar well, in high school I had fiddled around with an electric guitar and had learned maybe 4 chords but didn't really stick with it. After a while besides fooling around with it, the electric guitar became living room decoration. She adjusted and the soft melody rang through the loft. She smiled at me as she began singing the first verse we had come up with together.

" _I will hold my head up high_

 _You will never see me cry_

 _I'll smile and say I'm good_

 _But I would fall apart if I could…"_

I wrote in my notebook as she sang and showed it to her, she read my notebook as she continued.

" _I'm inside out, shot through the center_

 _Feel the scar of where you entered_

 _Took my life and turned it upside down_."

She thought for a moment then continued playing adding in her lyrics while she came up with the rest of the chorus.

" _I'm burned to ashes, split down the middle_

 _If anyone asks it hurt just a little._

 _I died inside the day I let you go_

 _But I will never let you know."_

"Oh that's good." I smiled. I was noticing the parts that I was coming up with were about Brenda, they were about my feelings and her being such a prominent part of my life. The words Angie was adding were coming from someplace else. Some place sadder. I didn't say anything because truthfully the song was magical and it was turning out so powerful, but something was going on. Taking a few minutes I wrote down my next verse. She began singing.

" _All this time the sky was light_

 _They say that the moon don't shine_

 _It's just the light from a star_

 _Well maybe that's the way we are."_

She sang the chorus again.

" _I'm inside out, shot through the center_

 _Feel the scar of where you entered_

 _Took my life and turned it upside down_

 _I'm burned to ashes, split down the middle_

 _If anyone asks it hurt just a little_

 _I died inside the day I let you go_

 _But I will never let you know."_

I thought about it, trying to get into her mind frame. She was hurting so I thought about when I was hurting. The time after Brenda had left to come here to London came into my mind. It was a time I was falling apart. I was drinking again, I had just lost my sister, I had lost Brenda to London and I was broke. She sang the part she had added again. The song started to hold another meaning as I listened to her sing the words.

" _I'm burned to ashes, split down the middle_

 _If anyone asks it hurt just a little_

 _I died inside the day I let you go…"_

I thought about how much I was struggling then, I had thought about reaching out to Brenda when she decided to stay here and study at RADA but the truth was I would never tell her how much I was hurting, how much I needed her, I wouldn't allow myself to let her know how much I was affected and how much I was ashamed of the way I was handling it. I knew deep down inside she may have actually came back to LA knowing I was in such a dark place, I wasn't going to allow that to happen. I sang the next part, my voice wasn't good but Angie didn't care and she didn't laugh when I first had done it either.

" _But I don't wanna let you_

 _I cannot forget you_

 _I will never let you know."_

She stopped playing and looked down at her guitar. We had finished writing this song in less than an thirty minutes, that was a record for us. I leaned in looking down at her. Trying to read her face. I realized she was crying when I saw her shoulders shake.

"Angie…whats wrong?"

Her eyes looked up and met mine. She hesitated, "Tyler and I broke up." she said softly as a tear rolled down her cheek. My hand rested on top of hers as it laid on her guitar.

"Why…what happened?" I said surprised, I knew they had their problems in the past but they had seemed so good since I had met them.

"I left him." she sniffed wiping her nose. She was quiet for what seemed like forever, I didn't want to pry but here we were writing this song together and honestly I didn't have to know her well to know she was upset about something even before the tears. "I caught him with a girl. Some random woman he met at the bar. He brought her back to our place. What would possess him to do that?" She shrugged actually asking, "I mean its not like I couldn't come home any minute even if I had plans for the night, which I had. I mean why?" her voice broke.

I looked at her, she was broken, "I don't know." I answered truthfully. I took a deep breath, "Have you guys talked about it?"

She shook her head, "No I walked in and saw her on top of him going at it and I left. I've been staying at Veronica's." She looked at me, "It woulda been no use…he was born sorry. There ain't nothin he could've said to make this better. He's been calling but I ignore him. I reckon he knows I know somethin."

I took a deep breath shaking my head, "Im sorry Angie."

She shrugged tears running down her cheeks again. I felt so bad for her. "Nothin in this world will ever break my heart like him, It's high time I realize it just ain't meant to be." then she broke down.

I took her guitar from her lap and laid it on the coffee table in front of us. I reached my arm around her gently and pulled her head to my chest as she cried. Rubbing her arm comforting her I let her cry. Something told me she hadn't allowed herself to do this until now.

"Shhh…it's ok…Ang it will be okay…I promise."

BPOV

I had graduated officially from RADA this past June. I was excited and terrified of moving towards my career. I had been researching a new play. Auditions would take place in a week and it was my first real audition without being a student at RADA. My schooling had helped me build an amazing resume but now it was real. This was a serious play with a very serious theater, if things went well I would have deep rooted connections all over town and in other places, even the states. It also had the promise to run long term, touring and I'd be making some serious money for its run. The play was a heartbreaking story about a couple that had been through a lot of trials and tribulations. They had dealt with family reservations of their relationship, loss, sadness, betrayal, grief, substance abuse, marriage and separation. It was an emotional play and auditions were in a week. I was trying to get into Sylvia's character. It had been pretty easy so far, I had felt like I could be her to a point. Dylan and I had dealt with a lot of those things on the list, actually all of them except marriage. I had been at the library at RADA all day. I felt like being away from home would give me a better chance to read the play without interruption. When I got home I heard Dylan and Angie up in the loft, I assumed they were writing as Angie's voice filled the apartment. I was emotional and drained from reading the play. The saddest part was it wasn't a happy ending. After all Sylvia and Victor had been through they didn't end up together at the end. Their love and respect grows so much and they learn so much from one another it was so tragic they couldn't have a happy ending. In reality I guess that happens more than not but it's fiction, the writer could have at least made it so it was worth it all. Sylvia was a singer, and during their time apart they really grow as friends but the love is so powerful, a soul connection that their relationship and reconciliation is inevitable. Dylan and Angie were hard at work it sounded like, I smiled hearing Dylan sing, he didn't have a great voice but he could sort of carry a tune it wasn't painful to hear by any means. I crept up the stairs quietly not wanting to interrupt but the truth was they were talking and it sounded like the song was finished. As I slowly climbed the stairs they came in to view sitting on the couch together, Dylan's arm around her and Angie's head against his chest. My stomach dropped seeing it. It looked like Dylan was comforting her and you could hear him cooing her as she sobbed. It wasn't like they were making out or anything even remotely close to that but seeing it made me uneasy. I remember when Mark and I used to write together, there is a sort of intimacy that comes with making music together and my heart hurt thinking of Dylan getting closer to another woman. I backed down the stairs quietly and went to our bedroom. I didn't want to interrupt, obviously something was very wrong and Angie was upset. I didn't trust myself that I could act impartial to seeing them like that. Angie in his arms, Dylan so comforting and sweet. I closed the bedroom door deciding I would give them their privacy and continue to read my play.

I had sat in my bedroom for hours. I had come to the part of the play that Sylvia finds Victor has slept with her best friend Marie. Tears streamed down my face as I read the heartache and turmoil of Sylvia, it being sadly all too familiar. These were feelings I buried so far down that it was frightening making them resurface. I was so in my head when my bedroom door opened and Dylan stood looking at me.

"I didn't know you were home, how long have you been here?" he said the tone getting quieter at the end when he noticed I was crying, He rushed closer to me, "Baby what's wrong?" He sat down on the bed in front of me reaching out and taking my face in his hands.

"It's so hard to trust you." I blurted out and his hands stopped caressing my face. His stare hurt and confused.

"What are you talking about?" his hands dropped.

"You're a cheater Dylan…it was so easy for you to throw what we had away for Kelly, then you continued to date her, even tried to steal her away from Brandon…I don't know if I can do this anymore." I was hysterical.

"Woah woah Bren…where is this coming from?"

A sob escaped my lips and he pulled me into him, I shook as I broke down. He hugged me tightly, his hand rubbing down my head, my back. I was crying so hard I vaguely heard him whisper over and over. "Baby…it's ok." a heartbreaking breath, "Don't do this, please don't do this, you know how much I love you." He must of been so confused, then I realized what he had heard, _I don't know if I can do this anymore_. We had spent the morning worshipping each other and laughing and now I was breaking down in his arms acting like I was leaving him. After too long, I pulled away from him. The look in his eye what I had assumed, heartbroken, confusion. I wiped my face realizing how crazy I must have looked.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry." I repeated trying to pull myself together.

He visibly swallowed hard, afraid to say anything.

"I have to get out of here." I felt stupid as I tried to get up.

He pulled me back down, holding on to my wrist with one hand, his hand on my thigh with the other

"Where do you think you're going, we have to talk about this?" his voice pained and frustrated.

"I can't do this right now." I pulled back forcibly and got up. He was right in front of me in seconds turning me towards him. Both of his hands holding onto my upper arms.

"Can't do what? What the hell is going on Brenda?" his voice angry now.

"I saw you with Angie." I blurted out.

Confusion spread across his face, "So? We finished a song."

"No not that part, the part where you were holding her." I looked down feeling insecure and silly. I looked back into his eyes, it looked like I had hurt him. "She was upset…crying. I just was comforting her, Tyler cheated on her, she's heartbroken."

I stared at him. "How ironic." I spat, his face fell.

I knew he was comforting her, I did not know the part about Tyler but thats exactly what it had looked like. Embarrassment rushed through me again. Why was I doing this? I pulled away from him and left the bedroom. This time he didn't reach for me or try to stop me. Dylan hadn't left the bedroom since I stormed out. I had tried to calm down and I cleaned the kitchen to pass time. Hours had past and when I went to the bedroom to try to get some sleep I saw him on the bed with his back towards me, laying on his side. I honestly didn't know how to tell him that I was sorry I brought up the past, I was sorry I had an emotional break down in front of him and I was sorry for making him feel like a bad person for comforting someone that was hurting. I skipped my nightly routine and climbed into bed laying on my back looking up at the ceiling. I looked over at him, wanting to reach for him but not waiting to hash out any of it, especially the past which I so stupidly brought up. I didn't give a fuck about Kelly, not anymore. Keeping my mouth shut, I closed me eyes and drifted into a restless sleep. When I woke up in the morning, Dylan wasn't in bed anymore. I dragged myself into the kitchen to get some coffee finding him writing in his notebook at the kitchen counter, his own cup of coffee next to him. He didn't even look at me as I moved through the kitchen reaching for a mug and pouring myself a cup. I stared at him, not sure what to say.

"Dylan?" I said quietly, hesitation in my voice.

He looked at me, a blank stare, so I continued. "About last night…"

He shook his head, getting up, "I don't want to talk about it…not now, I'm meeting Eric in 20 minutes." He closed his notebook, taking it with him which he never did. He didn't want me to read it.

"I'm auditioning for a new play. I'm sorry I freaked out on you. It's bringing up a lot of stuff as I try to get into this character. Please don't leave angry."

"Brenda." he voice stern, I didn't like when he said my name like that. My full name not my nickname, "I don't know what this new play is about but that's not what last night was. That was pent up emotion about the past and I don't even know where to begin dealing with this right now considering we already have." he grabbed his coat off the back of the chair and left. I jumped slightly hearing the front door slam. Feeling my emotions resurface, I left the coffee on the counter not wanting to wake up anymore and I went back to bed.

DPOV

I know it wasn't fair to leave Brenda like that but honestly I was telling the truth. I didn't know how to handle this. That's why I called Eric this morning and asked him to meet me at the coffee shop. I had honestly never seen Brenda like that, not in many many years and never regarding me or our break up. Even when Kelly and I told her about our summer affair she had been crying and hurt but she was angry, she wasn't broken. I guess seeing her fall apart last night made me realize something that in the back of my mind I had hoped wasn't true. At that time in high school…many years ago, I _had_ broke her. I realized maybe that's exactly what she was like but I didn't know. It was too much to bear. I walked into the coffee shop with my journal in my hand. I had written some things down this morning I wasn't sure I wanted Brenda to read. They were not something that I would have made into a song or had even shared with anyone. I spotted Eric in the corner reading what looked like a play script as I joined him.

"Hey McKay, how's it going?" Eric smiled picking up his coffee and taking a sip.

I sighed and looked at him. He kept his smile, "That good huh? What's going on?"

"Brenda…she freaked the fuck out on my last night. I'm not even sure why. First she is crying and telling me she saw me with Angie then she is freaking out about stuff that happened over three years ago."

Eric's eyes widened, "Angie?"

I shook my head, "No man…not like that. Angie and I were finishing a song and she broke down too." I rolled my eyes all the women around me were emotional wrecks, "I was comforting her, something about Tyler and some woman sleeping together in her house. I don't know man she was really upset, what was I suppose to do? Let her bawl her eyes out as I sat there like a douche bag?"

"Of course not." he said, "What did she see? Could it have been misconstrued into something more than it was?"

My hands came up dramatically into a shrug, "Fuck if I know…my arm was around her, I was hugging her it wasn't like we were on top of each other. I don't look at Angie like that…Fuck Eric I don't look at anyone other than Brenda like that."

He nodded knowing what I meant. "Did she say anything?"

"This morning. She apologized and said something about a play she is auditioning for and that its bringing up past feelings. Who knows man."

Eric smiled, "This play?" he held up the script, it did look familiar. The copy a green color, Brenda had it on the bed last night next to her. I hadn't paid too much attention at the time since she was sobbing.

"I guess." I answered not completely sure.

He chuckled, "Brenda is trying out for Sylvia." he said knowing something I sure as hell didn't understand.

"So?" What the fuck did this play have to do with my life?

"Dylan…Brenda is researching for her character, she is getting into the mind set of her. Read the play mate. You can borrow my copy, I just need it back. Auditions are in a week and I'm auditioning for Victor, I need something like this on my resume…she probably does too" I flipped thorough the script looking back at Eric still lost.

"Just read it man, you'll get it." he threw down a few bucks for his coffee and got up. "Call me later." and with that he left. I ordered a coffee and began reading through it. The play was called This Town. Sylvia and Victor were the main characters. It seemed to be an emotional play. Brenda would be amazing in it and I hadn't seen her in anything like this before which was even more amazing for her and her resume. The beginning started out fine, Sylvia and Victor met in high school and fell in love. It would carry their relationship through the next twenty or so years. I did see a lot of resemblance in our relationship reading through it. Sylvia's dad, like Jim wasn't a big fan of Victor, even tried to give him money to leave his daughter alone, a trip to Paris anyone? They continued to be inseparable until finally Sylvia left home after was the early drama. There were a lot of trials, Victor coming from a lower class family, was abused by his alcoholic father, all the same he worked hard to provide for himself and Sylvia. Taking time off from his own studying and his career so he could afford to send Sylvia to school to follow her dreams and for her to become a singer. Victor started drinking, that was another similarity. He became a full fledge drunk like his father and the whole center of the play shows Sylvia trying to selflessly save him. One night he was so drunk he ends up having sex with Sylvia's long time best friend Marie, not remembering any of it then it dawned on me. This play not exactly parallel but very similar emotional feelings or how our relationship had gone. I actually couldn't stop reading it. I wanted to know if after everything they lived happily ever after. Which as a guy felt silly but I wanted them to work through it. I stared at the pages saddened when it ended. After everything this couple had been through and how much love shown through even in words after everything, she died. Sylvia and Victor finally have a happy ever after, married with children and she gets into a terrible car crash and dies. The ending showing him being incoherent with grief, losing the love of his life until he realizes that he must live on to take care of their children. This was a powerful play and I could understand how Brenda would get emotional. I could see why she brought up Kelly and even bringing up the way I had comforted Angie. Sylvia deals with learning to trust Victor again, years later, other partners in between. I threw down my money for my 3 coffees I had drank and ran out of the coffee shop script in hand. We were NOT like Sylvia and Victor, well our ending wouldn't be anyway.

I entered our apartment to find Brenda pacing with red swollen eyes. She looked at me relief then anger hitting her eyes. I rushed her.

"Where have you been? You've been gone for…" my lips crashed into hers as my arms wrapped around her in a passionate powerful embrace. I put everything I had into that kiss. I felt her anger dissipate as my tongue entered her mouth moving with hers. She pulled away to catch her breath, looking at me confused.

"We are NOT Sylvia and Victor." I said in a harsh whisper.

Her eyes widened and her head looked down seeing the play script in my hand.

"How did you…" she was breathless.

"I met Eric for advice and he told me to read the play. Baby…if you have something you want to talk to me about, about the past and when we broke up, I will talk to you about it until we are blue in the face if thats what you want. But if its about this play and just the emotions you feel regarding the character…we are not like them. Our ending will not be like them Bren. I love you too damn much to lose you again. And Angie, I was just comforting her because I felt badly, I don't look at her romantically at all…I don't look at anyone but you like that."

Brenda and me collided as she jumped into my arms. Her arms wrapping tightly around my neck. I lifted her off the ground and kissed her neck.

"I know I fucked us up back then Brenda, I couldn't handle it and I made the biggest mistake of my life not choosing you. Seeing you last night…it broke my heart. I'm sorry that I ever made you feel like that." I whispered against her head.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry Dylan." she whispered over and over. "I forgave you a long time ago, God I feel so stupid." I lowered her to the ground.

I shook my head taking her lips to mine again. I picked her up again, this time her legs wrapped around my waist as I carried her to our bedroom. I spent my time slowly undressing the love of my life and made love to her. Whispering how much I loved her over and over. Even though this stuff only came about because of this play I promised myself and Brenda that night that I would spend my time reassuring her of that love and commitment that I had for her. She was the one for me and I knew I was her one and only too, our struggles and mistakes would be worth it.

Our doorbell and numerous knocking on the front door awoke Brenda and myself from a deep sleep. Naked in each there arms like it should be. After becoming decent we made our way into the living room. When Brenda pulled open the door, a rain soaked Angie stared back at us. Her eyes red and weepy, no makeup in sight.

"Ang? What happened?" Brenda looked at me concerned. It was after 2 in the morning.

"Can I crash here? Tyler found out I was staying at Veronica's from Mark. He's been coming around non stop. I cant y'all…I can't deal at all with his bullshit and sorry excuses. We had a show tonight, I didn't show up. I took the chance to grab my shit and I didn't know where else to go." Angie stood sobbing and wet. Brenda waved her hand, ushering her inside of the apartment.

"Of course…come in…come in." Brenda looked at me before letting Angie know. "You can sleep up in the loft."

Brenda spent some time comforting Angie this time. I went to bed. I thought that was a better job for her, girl time so to speak. It as going to be weird having someone else live with us. Even if it was for a short time. Brenda and I were used to doing whatever we wanted. Sex whenever we wanted, saving water in the shower whenever we wanted, watching movies, cuddling, kissing. This was going to be really really interesting.

 _Sorry for the delay. I've been working a lot. Let me know what you guys are thinking with this new development. You know Dylan likes his privacy and you know Dylan and Brenda love to be naked lol . We will seeeeeee. hehehe Hit review!_


	24. Chapter 24

_Rated M for HOT HOT HOT! Plus a little girls rule power._

Chapter 24

 _I'm leaving now, but here is a reminder_

 _'Twill bring to you the days we walked through rain_

 _So when you wish to feel my hand in yours_

 _Or stroke your dripping hair- Then kiss the rain_

 _Though leaving now, I wish I could be with you_

 _So when you feel overwhelmed with grief or pain_

 _And long for my caress upon your face,_

 _The rain will touch instead- So kiss the rain_

 _Whenever you have thoughts of this sad parting_

 _And salty tears your lovely cheeks do stain_

 _To feel the tears for you I'll surely have_

 _Do this, and I will too- Go kiss the rain_

 _Whenever you are longing for my presence_

 _And times that we went strolling down the lane_

 _I'll whisper soft endearments on the breeze_

 _So heed the sighing wind- And kiss the rain_

 _If ever you should pine to hear me speaking_

 _The thunder might burst forth with glorious main*_

 _While drops that fall are sure to be my tears,_

 _To feel them wet your skin- Just kiss the rain_

 _Isaiah Zerbst_

I looked at Dylan as I straightened up the living room. The sad acoustic guitar coming from our loft. She was singing a song about a liar and a cheater. I took a deep breath, knowing Angie couldn't hear us over her singing.

"Something's gotta give." I said to Dylan, "She is never going to get over this depression unless she gets angry." I sat on the couch with a sigh after straightening the magazines covering the coffee table.

Dylan sat next to me, "Is that what you did?" he said with a smirk.

I smiled, "Well…not exactly but I should have, sometimes I was. I'm not going to lie and pretend that seeing the two of you fight and argue didn't give me satisfaction." I laughed and so did Dylan.

"Yeah well…that was often enough." He joked and I agreed with a nod.

Dylan nodded again and took a deep breath, "People deal with things in different ways, I guess this is her way." he shrugged.

"I know but listen to her, that's a great song…it should be like a anthem, a cheating…liar. I'm not putting up with his shit, girl power anthem. Don't you think?"

Dylan bit his lip as he listened to the sad music coming from upstairs and the words not matching the feelings.

"It worked for Alanis Morissette." he joked referring to her new song out on the radio at the moment.

I laughed hell yes it did. "Angie?" I called out. After a moment she looked down from the loft hands on the railing. "Come down for a second, bring your guitar."

She nodded and made her way down the stairs. She stood in the living room with her guitar strap around her shoulder.

"Dylan and I were thinking." Dylan looked at me oddly, like don't get him involved. I ignored him. "What if this was a faster song? You have beautiful songs on your demo CD and I'm not going to lie when I hear you singing this I hear a rock song, could be country if you want but a woman power, fuck the cheaters…man hating song."

Angie looked at Dylan for confirmation, Dylan nodded agreeing with a cute shrug, thank god he was helping me prove my point. I think Angie respected Dylan's input just for the sake they had worked together a little.

"You think so?" Angie stood shyly.

Dylan spoke up, "Look Ang I know you're hurting and I also know you're trying to make this demo mix to find another band, maybe get some attention on your own without the boys. You have what it takes, all the songs we've written, you have written are magic but it's missing something…something more powerful than heart break."

I smiled, I could not have said it more perfectly.

"Some of the best music comes from the muse we all know as heartbreak." Angie was fighting this, not because she didn't agree but I think she was scared. Scared to break free from the norm.

"Yes…but some of the best stuff too comes from getting angry, it's a powerful emotion. One that you should maybe dive into. Think Alanis, you oughta know!" Angie smiled, "Look you've known Tyler for how long?" I was steeping into dangerous territory.

"Over 10 years." she exhaled and looked down.

"You guys have been on an emotional roller coaster. You lift your hands enjoying the climb and when that cart falls you scream, with the excitement. Then as the ride gets faster that drop makes your stomach flip with anxiety." I shook my head my analogy not coming out exactly how I wanted it too. "You and Tyler have been together for a long time. I get it, he hurt you. He's hurt you more times than truly acceptable. He's lied, left, cheated more times than I can count, I was there."

Angie looked down again, I was happy she wasn't tearing up yet. "Do you want him back?" I asked honestly.

She looked me straight in the eye, "No…I don't. Not anymore…I don't think so anyway." she shook her head unsure. "No…I don't."

"Ok good…what did you feel when you saw him with that girl? Was it all sadness?"

She shook her head quickly, "No…I wanted to hit him." anger vibrated off her. "I wanted to tear that bitches head off and kick him in the balls for sticking his dick in someone else, I hate him for what he did to me. What he did to us." She yelled the last part and she was in it.

Dylan and I smirked as we looked at each other.

"Play the song again, hold on to that?" Dylan said quietly. "Picture him standing right here begging for forgiveness, forgiveness that you aren't going to give him. Sing this to him."

Angie laughed and nodded, "Ok." getting serious.

A rock rift came out of her guitar and she started to sing. It had a country twist which was right up Angie's alley. Gone was the bluesy ballad of broken hearts all around the world. I didn't know much about music, at least not from a musician stand point but this song, could make her a star.

I had been working with Angie a little while she was at the apartment. Sylvia was a singer, her relationship with Victor aside, her dream was to become famous. I could relate to that more than anything else. She had big dreams and Victor knew this. My audition was in a couple days and I had the heartache and betrayal down cold but the singer in Sylvia I didn't relate too even though our dreams were similar. I had my monologue of the play down pat, it was filled with raw emotion and it felt good performing it. The director also wanted us to sing, sing something just to prove I could handle that side of the character. Angie helped me relax and truly pretend I was on stage, not a theater stage but a stage playing music. After Angie practiced that new rock/country song for hours, I knew the words by heart, it was so great.

The gang were coming over and we were going out. I had planned this days ago thinking that Angie could use some friends. The three of us met Veronica, Laura, Erica and Ethan at the pub near school. It was open mic night and I had thought maybe just maybe I could get up there and test my Sylvia out in public. I was scared shitless and I wasn't sure I could go through with it, so I didn't tell anyone about it. We sat at a table near the stage and drank heavily. We were all more than tipsy, except Dylan of course. Angie was smiling and she looked pretty all dolled up. She was wearing these tight black leather pants and a band t-shirt that she cut the collar out of so it hung off one shoulder. She was wearing boots and her hair was down in true Texas fashion, with big soft waves, eye make up dark and smokey with ruby red lips. She looked truly amazing, a far better look than the depressed sad look she had been sporting this week. We all had ordered a round of shots as we clinked out glasses together, we had had many of them already. Dylan touched my leg under the table and I looked up at him. He motioned towards Angie and behind her stood a miserable looking Tyler. She didn't have a clue as she shot back the amber colored liquid and slammed her glass down with woooo. We stared at Tyler, wondering what he was going to do. To my knowledge this was the first time he had run into her since she was staying with us. Tyler didn't know where our new apartment was.

"Ang." his voice filled with pain. She turned to look up at him. "Can we talk darling…please." he begged, his Texas twang sharp.

I felt bad for both parties, here Tyler wanted to explain whatever excuse he was about to spit at her but the look in his eyes was truly heartbreaking and I realized why Angie didn't want to hear him out. It would be hard not to feel sorry for him. He looked broken, more broken than I had seen a man.

She exhaled loudly, irritated, "Tyler…leave me be." she said turning her attention away from him.

His hand reached down and grabbed Angie's tenderly, he brought it against his heart. "Please baby…just give me 5 minutes, then I'll leave you be." at this point the whole table was staring at them.

I saw Angie smirk, "5 minutes?" oh no…she was giving in. She stood up facing him her hand on her hip the other one against his heart still.

"I'll give you 5 minutes but I'm doin the talkin." She pulled back her hand aggressively and walked off towards the stage hitting her shoulder into his, her southern accent thick. Tyler watched her confused, his expression matching all of ours. Our attention went to the stage as Angie walked out into the middle of it.

"Tyler…this ones for you darling." her voice filled with sarcasm. "I'm glad she was worth it." I covered my mouth as the beginning of Alanis Morissette hit song came roaring through the speakers. I couldn't help but smile as I looked around the group, all of us with matching expressions. She was about to sing a cover.

She started looking straight at Tyler. No music filled the pub just the guitar intro with just her voice. Tyler stared back at her, her voice sweet almost.

" _I_ _…_ _want_ _…you to know, that I'_ _m_ _…happy for you_

 _I_ _…wish…nothing but the best…_ _for_ _…you both._

The music started and she sexily moved her leather clad hips to the song. She yelled almost, her voice coming out so similar to Alanis that I got chills listening to her anger, the pain. I looked at Dylan as he looked back at me, a proud sparkle in his eye.

" _An older version of me_

 _Is she perverted like me_

 _Would she go down on you in a theatre_

 _Does she speak eloquently_

 _And would she have your baby_

 _I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother."_ she leaned in giving him the most cruel face I had ever seen from her. It was amazing. He looked down, before meeting her eyes again. He was allowing her to do this. Maybe he thought it would help him, for her to get it out. I had to give it to him, that whole pub was witnessing an embarrassing scene for Tyler but yet he didn't move a muscle. People smiling and looking back and forth between them. She starting jumping up and down, lightly head banging getting into the next part.

" _Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, nooooo."_ she wailed into the microphone.

" _And every time you speak her name_

 _Does she know how you told me you'd hold me_

 _Until you died, till you died_

 _But you're still alive_ _._ " Her wand came out as if she was about to shrug but instead stating the obvious, he was alive and well and standing in front of her, oh she was angry.

" _And I'm here….to remind you_

 _Of the mess you left when you went away_

 _It's not fair to deny me_

 _Of the cross I bear that you gave to me_

 _You, you, you oughta know…"_ a bad ass woman temper tantrum, that's what I was seeing. It probably helps Angie was feeling no pain. The crowd erupted in cheers as she continued, the song getting calmer and quieter. Keeping her hard eyes on Tyler. She pointed at him.

" _You seem very well, things look peaceful_

 _I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know_

 _Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity_

 _I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner."_

Her hand came to her heart, she looked angry yet broken, _"It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced…And…are you thinking of me when you…._ _fuck her?_ _"_ her eyes burning fire, her voice filled with wrath, leaning forward closer to Tyler as she sang that part. Laura stood up yelled and clapped, Tyler turned looking at her, his eyes hurt, pained and truly lost. It made you wonder what the hell he was thinking. Obviously he was crazy about her, what the fuck possessed him to do this, to ruin everything? Something so powerful and strong since they were in junior high practically. I couldn't fathom even if I had been through it. The chorus ran through as she officially rocked out. She was so into it I had never seen her like this. And I had seen Angie perform, it worked, she was angry powerful female icon in that moment. Women around us that had been scorned applauding and dancing, singing with her. It was like a rock concert the amount of energy that surrounded us. Angie wasn't the only hurt female in that room. Me included, it was powerful. She danced around the stage like a hippy at woodstock. She looked gorgeous, feeling everything as her voice almost moaned the bridge. Then she snapped back, looking at him again.

" _Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me_

 _And I'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes and you know it."_ Her teeth clinched together. She moved shaking her hips seductively to the guitar player to her right. She ground her center against his leg. Her hand coming to his thigh as she lowered herself bending at the knees sexually down his leg slowly before matching the pace coming back up. There was other guitar players on stage when the guy stopped playing, you couldn't tell his sound was missing that much. He moved his strapped guitar around to his back and grabbed her waist. Bringing his face close to hers, looking like he was about to kiss her. Her hands grabbed roughly at his back, she turned and looked straight at Tyler moving her finger nails sexually down the guys back.

" _And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back."_ the guys hands came and squeezed her ass and Angie smirked as she sang. She couldn't have planned this better.

" _I hope you feel it."_

She pulled away from the guitar player, he continued playing as she pointed at Tyler again. _"Well can you feel it?"_ she asked him. His face in rage now. He went to move quickly to rush the stage but the guys we were with were quicker, grabbing him.

"Don't make it worse." Eric said in Tyler's ear.

As the song went on she sang the chorus again. Tyler rage made his body almost collapse in anguish. He pushed the guys arms off him angrily, "What am I suppose to do?" he cried. Tears filling his eyes. "Let her dry hump the dude in front of me?"

"Like you humped some random girl in front of her, in a bed you share with her? Tyler…come on." Ethan always the truth teller.

Dylan's hand reached out and he set it on Tyler's shoulder, "Give her time man…just give her time to deal with this." he said quietly. Tyler stared at Dylan but after a moment he nodded.

He stared at her as she sang, loudly, singing it to only him.

" _You…You…You oughta know._ " Her glare strong. The song ending now.

Angie made her way to our table. The pub exploding again in cheers she returned with a huge smile on her face. She looked at Tyler looking broken, angry and embarrassed. "There's your 5 fuckin minutes. Go back to your whore." she spat.

Tyler turned on his heels and headed to the bar pissed and hurt.

"Oh my god girl…that was fucking insane." Laura said hugging her.

Angie looked at me and Dylan, victory written on her face.

"Phenomenal." Dylan uttered giving her a hug as well. Angie looked toward the bar making eye contact with Tyler. Her anger gone as they stared at each other. It was intense and heartbreaking, I didn't know what side I was on anymore. They just had a way to pull at your heart strings and your gut. Why couldn't two people so fucking amazing together not keep it together? Was this how soul connections worked, because they were so strong? It didn't seem fair, some cosmic joke the universe plays.

Angie looked at me, "You and me are up in 2 songs." she stated so matter of factly my heart dropped into my stomach. I hadn't told anyone I was thinking about singing to try to help me with the play. Some how Angie knew, or thought of it as well.

"I…I don't know Ang." I started freaking out inside. "What would we sing?"

"My new song…the one you helped me find the inspiration for. Brenda…you can do this." she grabbed my hand and squeezed. I stared at her unsure, she had a lot more faith in me than I did in myself at that moment. "Do you want this part?"

I nodded nervous tears filling my eyes, "Then go out there and be Sylvia. Victor has just fucked your best friend." I looked at Dylan. "You are in my place right now, that place of pain that makes you so upset he ruined everything. And he wants you back. Victor…Dylan…wants you back but you…don't…trust him." she swallowed hard looking at Dylan sympathetically sorry she was using this. "You remember you guys both wanted me to sing this to Tyler, and I'm doing just that. You have to sing it to him too." I thought back in high school, seeing the two of them all over each other, then him having moments with me. I exhaled feeling that anger rise up.

It was working, as I felt Dylan's arms surround my waist, gripping my hips in support. His lips touched my ear. "Remember that time we went fishing?" I looked up at him curiously, "We wanted each other, I wanted to get back together with you. You didn't…remember?" I nodded, I did remember.

"Do you remember why you didn't, cause the look in your eyes told me, you were lying about wanting to be friends, you had wanted me as much as I wanted you."

I sighed, "I was scared…I was scared to go back to you to have you leave me again for her." I admitted, Dylan nodded knowing.

Hearing the guy on stage announce, "Brenda Walsh and Angela Baker, singing an original song written by Angie herself, The Wrong Song."

"You're up baby." He said knowingly, I leaned in and kissed him hard on the lips heading to the stage, hand and hand with Angie. I looked out at the audience, their eyes on us. My stomach flipped with dread, this was so different than a play. I felt naked up there, raw and exposed. The rock guitar intro started and I looked at Angie start to bang her head dancing around, her version of performing. She looked so natural. I swayed my hips and closed my eyes, trying to get into that place. Trying to get into Sylvia. I brought the microphone slowly to my lips. and opened my eyes.

" _If you think you're gonna hear how much I miss ya_

 _If you're needin' to feel better 'bout yourself_

 _If you're wantin' to hear me say I forgive you_

 _But tequila turned you into someone else._

 _If you're looking for one more chance_

 _A little stand by your man."_ I smiled seeing Dylan smile wide at me. Angie came in and sang along with me.

" _You got the wrong song_

 _Coming through your speakers_

 _This one's about a liar and a_ _cheater_

 _Didn't know what he had 'til it was gone_

 _You got the wrong girl_

 _'Cause I got your number_

 _Don't know what kind of spell you think I'm under_

 _This ain't a feel good everything's fine sing-along_

 _You got the wrong song…"_

I was into it now, moving my hips to the music, I felt alive…sexy even. Angie took over her verse. Tyler had moved close to the group again, a drink in his hand and he watched her, in awe but you can tell her lyrics hit him hard. She looked at him, less hostility but still the same intense look.

" _Tell me boy was she worth every minute_

 _I hope you had the time of your life_

 _You made your bed, now go lie in it_

 _All I got to say to you is goodbye."_ she waved at him.

" _How'd you think I'd react_

 _S_ _inging baby come back."_ she smirked and rolled her eyes as she shook her head. I joined her in the chorus again.

" _You got the wrong song_

 _Coming through your speakers_

 _This one's about a liar and a_ _cheater_

 _Didn't know what he had 'til it was gone_

 _You got the wrong girl_

 _'Cause I got your number_

 _Don't know what kind of spell you think I'm under_

 _This ain't a feel good everything's fine sing-along_

 _You got the wrong song…"_ I moved closer to Angie as the guitar solos rocked the house. We swayed together, grinding each other like two drunk sorority sisters. We leaned our backs together and looked out at the audience, my eyes on Dylan's hers on Tyler's. We sang softly.

" _Everybody makes mistakes_

 _We can work it out_

 _Wouldn't it be nice if that's what I was singing now." W_ e talked in opposite sides of the stage. She walked towards Tyler, telling him exactly how she was feeling. His eyes glassy. It wasn't foreign for them to express their deepest feelings through music.

" _But you got the wrong song_

 _Coming through your speakers_

 _This one's about a liar and a cheater_

 _Didn't know what he had 'til it was gone, gone, gone_

 _You got the wrong girl_

 _'Cause I got your number_

 _Don't know what kind of spell you think I'm under_

 _This ain't a feel good everything's fine sing-along_

 _You got the wrong song_

" _You got the wrong song."_ I belted, bringing my voice up from my gut.

" _You got the wrong song…yeah"_ Angie sang loudly, her gorgeous voice following me.

Applause erupted through the pub, people stood up hooting, hollering and clapping. I grabbed Angie's hand tightly and nodded at her thanking her for getting me out there. This is what Sylvia loved about being a singer, the feeling of raw emotion on stage, the applause, its was the same I felt after a play. I grabbed that feeling and shoved it deep in my belly. I would use it at the audition, I had never felt so ready for anything in my whole life. I looked at Dylan, him standing proud clapping his hands. I smiled back at him as Angie and I took a bow. I jumped off the stage feeling people clapping my back as I had one direction I was heading. I jumped into Dylan's arms, I heard him chuckle in my ear as I squeezed him tightly. "You were truly amazing." he whispered.

"Thank you…thank you for everything. Dealing with this past stuff." I leaned out from him. "I love you. Thank you." I repeated knowing this had to be hard too. He was dealing with what he had did to me too all over again, in a different in his face kind of way, all because he knew how important this audition was for me. If I didn't step myself into Sylvia's shoes I wouldn't be good in this play. I may not be holding a grudge on what Dylan and Kelly had done to me but I needed to remember that feeling. That heartbreaking emotion that I had lived with for a long long time. I also think it had some healing affect on our relationship as well. Dylan had never seen how much he had broken me. His hand came to my face gently, "I love you too." he nodded his eyes intensely looking into the windows of my soul. I kissed him long and hard. His tongue mixing with mine. Passion dripped from us in a thick ora of emotion. We were going to fine. I wasn't worried. I caught my breath and looked at Angie. The smile she had was sincere with sadness behind it as she looked at us. Angie knew what we had been through. I filled her in in its entirely when we had our girl talk the night she showed up at the apartment. There was something else behind her eyes, hope maybe. Tyler was at her side, looking intense at the side of her face. He reached up and touched her cheek tenderly. Angie closed her eyes and leaned into it. I saw her swallow hard and turn to face him. Tyler broke down, "I love you Ang…I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry I ruined us." he said tearfully. Angie went to walk away but Tyler pulled her into him. She visibly got weak as he took her into his arms, "Please baby…please hear me out..please." he closed his eyes touching his forehead to hers begging her. This was so fucking sad, I felt Dylan's arm around my waist grip me tighter, it was hard for him too. There he was in tears, not caring who was looking at him in such a open position. Angie grabbed Tyler's face and kissed him. Hard and passionate. Tyler's arms pulled her into him closer, both moaning out in need. Full make out kiss was what we were watching. Angie pulled away sadly, placing her fingers to his lips, she shook her head.

"I love you…I love you so fuckin much my heart is breaking just lookin at ya. You hurt me…you hurt me for nobody fuckin special." She was in tears now. "I know you're sorry…but that ain't good enough this time." Tyler head hung sadly, she took her finger and raised his chin, "We need to figure stuff out, we do. I'm sorry i've been ignorin you and your calls, but if we ever have a chance of this working out…in the long run, we have to figure out stuff on our own." Tyler's head hung low again as Angie moved away from him, empowered she headed to the bar. My hand reached out and touched his arm. The look he gave me was one I will never forget.

"I don't know…who I am without her." he rubbed his face subtly wiping way his tears. I opened my mouth to say something comforting but Dylan spoke first.

"You'll find out…and you'll come back better and stronger and ready to take that connection you have right there." Dylan pointed at Angie quickly, "By the balls. I know what it's like to be so in love with someone it scares the shit out of you to feel it. You know Tyler, you and me are pretty similar, I didn't grow up with the family love and support like most people. When I felt it for real…so strongly so intensely, It scared the fuck out me. It made me make some dumb ass mistakes. But…you'll learn from them and when your ready to handle your love and relationship with her, it will be real that time." I looked up at Dylan. Love pushing at my heart. His words perfect, it was us. Tyler looked over at Angie, her eyes meeting his. He nodded agreeing with Dylan.

He looked back at us, "I don't know why I fool around with other girls." he shrugged angrily at himself, "Their easy. There is no connection, no love for them. It's just fucking easier." he admitted. "The sex isn't even good, it's not what I have with her…not even fucking close." his voice breaking at the end.

Dylan nodded, "I know…god Tyler I know exactly how that is." he sighed, "She'll come back."

"How do you know?" he asked broken still. "What if she doesn't?" a single tear rolled down his cheek and I felt my eyes water at the sight.

Dylan's arm wrapped around my shoulders tightly, I looked up at him as he peeked my lips.

"Because the connection is strong and its real." he continued to look at me even though he was talking to Tyler. "It won't go away no matter who she dates or who you date, you will always be pulled back to one another…and when the timing is right, it will be a beautiful powerful thing when you guys get it right, believe me I know…" Dylan's head met the side of mine as he squeezed me. Angie got approached by a recording studio. He gave her his card and told her to call him in the morning. I saw big things happening for her, without the boys, which was very very cool.

We all walked home from the pub, the cool London air on our faces. We were quiet as we walked down the quiet street. Our footsteps echoing in the dark. My hand griped Dylan's lovingly. I looked over at him, my eyes telling him how much I loved him. I was so proud of the man he had become. His eyes answering I love you too, a playful smirk touching his lips. The group separated by street in way of their apartments and Dylan and I were left with Angie and Tyler, who had walked closely yet far from each other. Dylan stared at me, I knew the look of want and need, I felt the ache between my legs. Dylan rushed me as my back hit the wall of a building. His lips attacking mine in need. I was so taking away and into that sign of affection I vaguely heard the giggles and comments of them around us. Dylan ground his center against me as an embarrassing moan left my lips. I was aware we were not alone but I didn't stop grabbing at whatever I could get my hands on of Dylan. Pulling him impossibly closer to me, my leg hitching around his hips.

Angie laughed, "I think I'll give you guys some privacy. That loft echoes." she joked.

"Maybe we can go somewhere and talk?" Tyler looked at her hopeful.

"Ok." she whispered and nodded. "See you at home later guys." she called out as I assumed her and Tyler walked away.

"I want you so bad." Dylan whispered against my lips. "You looked so sexy up there tonight." his kiss roughly pressing against mine.

He reached up my dress, his fingers touched my center of my panties. He groaned probably feeling how wet and ready I was for him. The street was silent and all you could hear was the soft groans, moans and heady breaths coming from us.

"Take me now Dylan." I whispered needing him. My leg still resting on his hip he moved my panties to the side roughly and entered two fingers into me. I moaned out finally feeling my need disappear. He pulled them out slowly only to push them in quickly. I closed my eyes breathing out as his lips hushed me and kissed me with force. Before I knew what was happening, Dylan's fingers still inside me, he lifted me effortless walking sideways moving us into the darkness between the two buildings. I couldn't see his face in the dark but his fingers still pumping in and out of me at a steady rhythm. I heard the zipper echo in the dark and Dylan withdrew his fingers causing me to whimper from the loss. It was so erotic being out in public even though we were quite hidden plus I couldn't see him. My other senses on overdrive, I smelled him, heard him it was too much. Dylan leaned impossibly low and entered me with a deep thrust. His thick rod filling me more than his fingers did. He tried pumping into me finding our difference in height troubling. His arms reached under my legs lifting me up against him, my back against the wall, keeping our physical connection. I was spread wide as he lowered me up and down on him. I was impressed of his agile movements. I didn't think this was possible. Dylan's lips on mine as he fucked me standing up. This was such a turn on for me. His hard thrusts felt too good, we both were not going to last long. Dylan grunted as his speed picked up. He moved wildly in and out of me and moments later we both came hard on each other.

"Uhhhh….Bren…fuck." he moaned loudly. I shook against him riding my high as he stilled emptying into me, our lips touching.

He carefully held my weight with one arm, bringing his hand and running it down my head.

"Jesus…fucking christ." he breathed and I giggled quietly. He kissed me passionately before lowering me, my feet hitting the ground.

"Sorry…that was embarrassingly quick." he caught his breath having to work much harder than me. Dylan was no two minute man normally, no matter how turned on we were.

I smiled and reached up on my tip toes kissing him deeply, "I was quick too…let's go home before we get arrested." His breath hitting my mouth. He nodded, my eyes adjusted to the light as I could see his face now. "You can make it up to me." I whispered seductively. He chuckled, lowering himself pulling up his jeans as I leaned against the wall. When we made it home he cherished me all night long in true Dylan fashion, all the aching need gone now. This time savoring every minute together like it was our last, the beauty of it being it wasn't. Far from it.

 _Hot Hot Hot…how did you like it? Sorry for all the song lyrics but I wanted Angie to do some healing and Brenda needed to finish capturing the performer in Sylvia. What else? Tell me everything! Review review!_


	25. Chapter 25

_A short chapter for you. Enjoy!_

 _Chapter 25_

 _Come to me in my dreams, and then_

 _By day I shall be well again._

 _For then the night will more than pay_

 _The hopeless longing of the day._

 _Come, as thou cam_ _'_ _st a thousand times,_

 _A messenger from radiant climes,_

 _And smile on thy new world, and be_

 _As kind to others as to me._

 _Or, as thou never cam_ _'_ _st in sooth,_

 _Come now, and let me dream it truth._

 _And part my hair, and kiss my brow,_

 _And say My love! why sufferest thou?_

 _Come to me in my dreams, and then_

 _By day I shall be well again._

 _For then the night will more than pay_

 _The hopeless longing of the day._

 _Matthew Arnold_

I was in character, deep in character. Victor had been so drunk he slept with Sylvia's best friend. Instead of begging for forgiveness he was breaking up with her. It was after high school, she left home and they were living together. Their time started out with only drinking at parties and while social, sylvia had joined in on that fun. Then it became everyday. In a group, alone, before work…he was lost but Sylvia couldn't for the life of her let go of him. He was running away from the drama, he was running away from her. The guilt evident in his eyes I would imagine. I was rehearsing with Angie in the living room, my audition was tomorrow morning. My back towards her, I turned my best game face on pretending she was Victor and turned towards her.

"You want to break up... sure... no problem... yeah, I wanted to break up too. I've been thinking about it for a long time. This is a person I will need to break up with, he isn't good for me. But hey... you beat me to it. No hard feelings.

I shrugged and turn away, so he wouldn't see the tears in my eyes. He cheated on me and here he is the one breaking it off.

"We could be friends." Angie said playing Victor's part.

"Be friends?" I turn around with a big smile. "Sure! I'd love to be friends. That's the natural evolution of most relationships. Have something and then boom... friends. I'm sure some of the best friendships started that way."

I act overly enthusiastic, "I look forward to hanging out with you, buddy. Let's meet up and go to a football game or a movie some time and hang out."

"That would be GREAT!" I yell.

Hurt evident in my eyes. My eyes quiet and angry. I close my eyes trying to calm down.

"You're upset." Victor says hurt in his voice. Swallowing hard.

"What? Upset? No, I'm not upset. Why would I be... upset…"

Tears flow down my cheek as I start to cry and I wipe it swiftly.

Victor takes a hesitant step towards me, "Don't cry." pain in his voice, "Please don't cry."

"No, I'm not crying. I said, I'm not crying!" I yell as I burst into tears.

"Baby…I'm sorry…I…come here." he steps towards her again.

I step away. "I don't want your pity. I don't want a shoulder to cry on. I want... to be left...

ALONE! Don't you get it. I want to be alone!" I yell angrily. A swarm of emotions swell to the surface as I remember Dylan and Kelly ruining my life. How I felt, how Dylan's guilty eyes looked every where else but mine at that time in the park. I pause and sadly reflect.

"I've always wanted to be alone. I never wanted to get close to anyone. I never wanted us to get close. And I guess I was closer to you than you were to me."

"You were my everything." Victor says sadly. "You are my everything."

I turn away from him angrily, "Don't lie to me. I know you don't mean it. I don't want to hear any more lies! I don't want you to make something up so you can get out of this. I want it all laid out on the table." I yell at him, traitor tears leaking out of my eyes. "I want to know the truth! Do you like her? Did I mean absolutely nothing to you? Why did you have sex with her?"

Victor/Angie rushes me, "No baby…I love you. I don't even remember. I didn't remember being with her. She means nothing…nothing to me. You're my everything…I…I love you." Victor's/Angie's hand comes up and touches my cheek, Angie caresses it softly. There is a long pause as I close my eyes and cry. After a beat I mange to say softly, putting his cheating and drinking aside, "I want to know the truth." my voice broken, "I want to know why you are breaking my heart, I want to know why you continue to break my heart." I whisper looking deep into his eyes. A sob coming from me as I look away backing away from him. Tears continue to flow down my face as I look at Angie, a huge grin comes across her face, she is impressed. She wipes away the tears that have come to her eyes, seeing this scene probably is bringing her real life situation to life. I sit on the couch drained. I knew I nailed it but when you're in a scene like this. It doesn't just turn off right away. I looked up hearing clapping seeing Dylan standing in the doorway with a smile. I stared into his eyes seeing love and pride.

He shook his head stepping into the living room, "Bren…that was." his hand came to rest over his heart, "Incredible.…I almost stopped breathing."

I wiped a stray tear and looked down, "Thank you."

He came over sitting next to me on the couch and pulled me into him. I was emotionally drained and I cried softly. He knew and didn't ask any questions. Angie smiled looking at us. The door bell rang and she looked towards the door, "That's probably Tyler…you guys don't mind right? He's coming over to lay the last song on my track. I decided to go with piano and he knows how to play. Plus I think I'm going to add his lyrics in there too, it sounds good as a duet, I don't know maybe not. That's okay right?" Angie looked at us nervously. She had taken over the loft, but Dylan and I truly really hadn't minded she was there. She was polite and helpful. She kept to herself and besides the fact Dylan and I only had privacy with each other behind our bedroom doors it really wasn't that bad.

"It's ok with me…Bren?" Dylan squeezed me tightly.

"Fine by me." my head still resting on Dylan's chest.

She smiled and nodded and moved towards the door. I sat up a bit to get a better view. Tyler carried a long case that I imagined was a portable piano, he smiled at us saying a quiet hey then his eyes went to Angie, love pouring out of them. Things were sweet and awkward with them you could tell. I knew Angie was trying and I knew Tyler was on his best behavior. He called the apartment often and they'd go out for coffee or write together but from my knowledge things had stayed platonic. She wasn't quite ready to forgive him this time, like she had in the past. I watched them shyly move next to each other taking the stairs to the loft. When they were out of sight I looked at Dylan that had been looking at them too.

"Do you think they're going to work it out?" I said quietly hearing them setting up from what it sounded like.

Dylan shrugged, "I'd hope so."

"I go back and forth, but it's not my business. Angie is a good friend. Her being here for the past week we've gotten closer. We always got along but it was more a group of the four of us with Tyler and Mark…I've seen so much of their relationship. The amazing, the ugly…I don't know."

Dylan nodded, "He is completely in love with her Bren. There isn't a doubt in my mind. He made a mistake."

I looked at him not sure how to take that, "He's made more than one mistake. He's cheated on her a million times."

Dylan looked at me, he smirked and knew he was in a trap, "I know hun…I can't speak for Tyler back then…maybe your boyfriend Mark could." he eyed me.

I smirked back and shook my head, "You're good.I'll give you that." he made me shut up thats for sure.

He chuckled pulling me back to him, "Yes I am…darlin…yes I am." he faked his Texas accent and I laughed leaning my head against his chest. We listened as Angie sang through the song. It was really good. I know it seems I say that a lot but it was really great. I actually teared up hearing her. We listened, kind of ease dropping. We heard Angie shyly ask him, "You think you can come in and sing these parts." there was silence.

"Are you sure darlin? It's your song."

"Well yeah…Dylan helped write it, I think it would be nice with a male presence."

Dylan kissed the top of my head, Dylan was becoming a top notch song writer, I wondered if he would do anything with it. This song was amazing. "Let's try it…I'm going to record it through."

The gorgeous music of the piano filled our apartment. I sighed cuddling into Dylan tightly, it was like our own private show. She started, her voice gorgeous sounding.

" _I never needed you like I do right now_

 _I never needed you like I do right now_

Tyler belted next _, "I never hated you like I do right now_

Then they sang together _, "Cause all you ever do is make me…"_

I looked at Dylan with wide eyes, what a difference the male voice brought to this heartbreaking song. I sat up straight listening, I was in awe. They alternated lines.

" _Gave you up 'bout twenty one times_

 _Felt those lips tell me twenty one lies_

 _You'll be the death of me_

 _Sage advice_

 _But lovin' you could make Jesus cry._

 _When I hear you sayin', Darlin', your kiss is like an antidote_

 _I'm fightin' like I'm Ali_

 _But you got me on the ropes._

Dylan touched my cheek, his thumb caressing me. I leaned in and kissed him softly. This song was heartbreaking and romantic, it instantly became my new favorite. I wonder when he wrote this with her or who he was writing about.

"Dance with me Bren." he whispered against my lips.

"Who is this song about?" I leaned out and asked him interested. "For you I mean…she said you helped write it."

Dylan smirked at me, "You…they're always about you. I wrote this poem when I moved in with you, before we got together. It wasn't as good as this, Angie added a lot of her own emotions in there." he swallowed hard listening to the chorus. He had wrote it. At least some of it. I almost knew what words were his.

" _I never needed you like I do right now_

 _I never needed you like I do right now_

 _I never hated you like I do right now_

 _'Cause all you ever do is make me…"_

I grabbed his hand, "I'd love to dance with you." We got up and my arms wrapped around his neck tightly. I felt him bury his face in my neck. We swayed back and forth slowly enjoying being so close. I listened to the words now, even more so than before.

" _Couldn't hear the thunder, but I heard your heart race_

 _Couldn't see the rain, we're too busy makin' hurricanes_

 _Love ain't easy when it ain't my way_

 _But it gets hard, when you ain't here makin' me crazy_

 _Baby, say the word, darlin'_

 _You know just how to hold this_ _sucker down_

 _So I'll see you in the morning_

 _I can't watch you walk out."_ Angie's voice broke. My attention went to the loft. I heard both of them. They were having a moment, "Baby…" Tyler whispered and sounded pained. I pictured him reaching for her.

"I'm fine…lets just finish, I'll cut this out." The piano took over where she left off after a beat.

" _I never needed you like I do right now_

 _I never needed you like I do right now_

 _I never hated you like I do right now_

 _'Cause all you ever do is make me… cry."_

Tyler jammed on the piano, I stopped swaying to the music and looked at Dylan. His eyes sad and taken back from what we were hearing upstairs. It almost felt to private to witness but we both stood there in each other's arms frozen.

" _Wooohooo…wooohoooo. Hooooo Yeah."_

" _Sing it baby."_

" _You keep on making me cry."_

" _Sing it baby…tell me baby."_

 _You keep on making me cry." Angie's voice was so sad yet so beautiful._

 _Then it all became calm, the piano softly playing through the apartment._

" _I never needed you like I do right now_

 _I never needed you like I do right now_

 _I never hated you like I do right now_

 _'Cause all you ever do is make me…"_ silence.

My hand came to cover my mouth as I heard them, "Come home baby. Please." Tyler begged. "I know you have given me a million chances, please…give me one last one."

Silence again, then Angie finally spoke, "But you've given me a million reasons to let you go…don't you get it? One minute you're telling me you want to marry me and then the next you're fucking some slut in my bed." Angie yelled.

"Come on Bren." Dylan tried to pull my hand, "Let's give them some privacy." I wanted to help but I knew I couldn't. "I can't let her make the same mistake we did. She is so angry." I whispered, "I would have taken you back in a second." I admitted again. I had admitted this to him our freshman year in college.

"Come on." he moved his head towards the kitchen as Tyler started raising his voice.

"I'm sorry…okay…I'm sorry. I don't know why I fucking did it. I don't know. I'm stupid…" his voice became low, "I'm nothin. I know that."

Dylan pulled me into the kitchen. We still heard them clearly. We pretended that we weren't listening but we were. We absolutely were.

"Don't say you're nothin…you are NOT nothin." Angie said sadness in her voice. "You just make stupid decisions. You are not nothin…you are everything…you were everything to me."

I looked at Dylan, tears brimmed my eyes as she continued, "I just don't get why I'm not enough? I know you love me…why am I not enough for you?"

Tyler sighed, "Oh baby…don't you get it? You are everything to me, that's what so fucking scary. You are my heart and my soul, music and you are the same to me, without one I don't have the other. I am nothin and I don't deserve you but the person I am when I'm with you…makes me want to be something darlin. Without you everything is nothin. You're it for me. This will never happen again. It will never happen again." He repeated tearfully. "Please baby."

I smiled a shy smile and looked at Dylan, his expression matching mine. Then silence. I grabbed Dylan's hand as we peaked around the kitchen arch way. We looked up and saw Angie and Tyler making out as she straddled him on the couch in the loft. Angie leaned out.

"I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away." she said against his lips, "But darlin…I only needed one good one to stay." she kissed him hard and passionate.

I looked at Dylan, happiness filling my face as I smiled.

"I think our little overnight guest will be moving out soon." He raised his eyebrows, and wiggled them slowly. I rolled my eyes, he would be a guy right now. I leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was soft and wet. It was getting more heated as we heard noises from the loft. We froze our lips attached. We slowly turned towards the loft and got an eye full.

"Oh god." I whispered, it was like an accident I just couldn't look away, clothes being tossed, moans and pants echoed through the apartment. Whispered sentiments of love.

I heard Dylan chuckle as he pulled me into the bedroom, "Let them make up." he whispered as he shut the bedroom door. I leaned against the dresser watching him. It took about 3 seconds to cross the room and throw my arms around Dylan. We tumbled towards the bed having our own moment. Damn that was a good song, I thought. I pretty sure anyone who heard it was probably getting busy right now. I giggled as Dylan made a growling noise kissing down my neck bringing me to the present. I loved my life and there was a million reasons I wasn't going to change any of it but the most important one was this man in my arms.

 _So Angie is moving out. It was uneventful. I didn't want her to cause a rift. I'm loving Tyler and Angie though, I may have to write a spin off with them LOL. A little information from Beverly Hills and Brenda's audition next up. Whoop! Moving right long, we are almost at their year anniversary. Any guess what their going to do. hehehe. Review, I love them and I LIVE for them._


	26. Chapter 26

_Chapter 26_

 _How do I love thee? Let me count the ways._

 _I love thee to the depth and breadth and height_

 _My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight_

 _For the ends of Being and ideal Grace._

 _I love thee to the level of everyday's_

 _Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light._

 _I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;_

 _I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise._

 _I love thee with the passion put to use_

 _In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith._

 _I love thee with a love I seemed to lose_

 _With my lost saints,_ _—_ _I love thee with the breath,_

 _Smiles, tears, of all my life!_ _—_ _and, if God choose,_

 _I shall but love thee better after death._

 _Elizabeth Barrett Browning_

Brenda had left for her audition already. She woke me up briefly to kiss me good bye and I hugged and kissed her good luck. I wasn't sure how hard these auditions would be but I knew Brenda was going to nail it. I saw her yesterday. The scene she was doing had every emotion in there, the happy, the angry, the sad and heartbroken. Her range was so good. So believable, if she didn't get this part I would be surprised, I wasn't sure what they were looking for, hopefully it was a gorgeous brunette that was amazingly talented. I made my way into the kitchen to find Angie there in a men's shirt, she was sitting on Tyler's lap kissing with two cups of coffee sitting in front of them. I smirked as I past them and shook my head. It was nice to be surrounded by love. Two people with as much drama, history and connection that Brenda and I had but I was kind of wondering when they were leaving. I wanted my house back, our privacy.

"Hey Dylan." Angie said with the first smile I had seen from her in a while.

"Morning Angie…Tyler." I held my smirk.

He smiled at me, "Mornin." his accent thick as he tipped his head at me.

I poured my cup of coffee and turned around leaning against the counter. They were all over each other, it made me miss Brenda. I cleared my throat a bit. "I heard the song last night…it was really good…much better with Tyler's vocals added, I heard you guys make up too." I brought my cup to my lips with a smirk.

She gave me a knowing smile, "Yeah…we heard you too…sounded like the song is pretty powerful." she joked and I must have blushed 3 shades of red. My making fun of them backfired. "But whats new I hear you making up all the time." She joked back at me.

I chuckled, "You got me there." I walked toward the kitchen door, I set my hand on Tyler's shoulder, "I'm happy for you guys."

"Thanks Dylan." they both said in unison. As I walked into the living room I heard Angie giggle and Tyler make some weird noise. I shook my head now knowing how the world around Brenda and myself felt.

It was early evening when Brenda came home from the auditions. She strolled in with a smile on her face and I could tell she was happy with it.

"So? It went well?" I put down my journal and gave her my undivided attention.

She smiled a wide grin, "Yes…it went well I probably wont know anything for a week at the longest but Walt told me he would call me as soon as he hears anything. All in all it felt good, the director was nice, he seemed to like me, we'll see." She sat down next to me. Walt was Brenda's new agent. She had gotten with him shortly after graduation and this was his first audition he had gotten for Brenda. He seemed to be good at his job, this was the mother load of jobs for Bren. Especially her first one without RADA, even though Spring Awakening was real, it still had affiliation with the academy. It was suppose to be long standing, with the promise of tours and she would have a steady thing for while with great pay. I had my fingers crossed for her. I also was selfishly routing for Eric. If he got the part as Victor, I didn't have to worry at all about another Ethan situation because everyone knew Eric was so far whipped on Laura's ass that I wouldn't have to worry about anything. I know lame, but I still was a man after all.

I brought Brenda in and kissed her softly, deepening the kiss and slipping my tongue into her mouth. She responded with a moan and then backed away from me. "Where's Angie?" she looked towards the loft.

"The two lovebirds moved Angie's stuff back into their apartment this afternoon. She said thank you and she would call you later." Brenda nodded with a smile.

"I'm happy for them." she cuddled into me.

"Me too." I spoke softly kissing the top of her head.

Brenda broke away from me grabbing her laptop from the coffee table and starting up the internet modem to check her email. I watched her go through her mailbox quickly only opening an email from Brandon. She pulled her legs up under herself sitting indian style and read silently. I smirked moving her hair from her shoulder and planted small kisses on her neck.

"Holy crap…what a difference a few months make."

"Whats going on at home?" I continued to assault her neck with kisses. She shrugged me away. Boo. I was bugging her and I found it amusing.

"Well…Kelly is doing well, she is volunteering at an AIDS hospital, Brandon has met someone, her name is Tracy." she looked over at me and smiled disappointed. I knew she was secretly waiting for Kelly and Brandon to get back together, I kind of was too, I wont lie. It just seemed like a step they would take with me out of the picture, they were good together. Why I never thought so a couple years ago was beyond me.

"UGH…another girl from work. What's with those two?" Brenda commented quietly, talking to me but more at herself. "I just want to go there and smack them and tell them they are so good together."

"Valerie's seeing someone too." she looked at me with a joking glare and I shook my head with a smirk and a roll of my eyes.

"That's nice. Although I have to wonder about the guys head considering that Val is a hand full."

"You would know." she smiled and I grabbed her side with a pinch, Little shit. Brenda wasn't mad at all about hearing about Valerie, it sort of surprised me to be honest. I just don't think Brenda thought of Valerie as much of a threat. No where near the sadness and insecurity that came with Kelly at times. Also Bren was doing god knows what with Mark that year I was fooling around with Valerie. Valerie was fun and gorgeous but she was just as lost as I had been. It was doomed from the start, fun but a disaster. Brenda was in her own disaster relationship at that time. Blah.

"Brandon says he's a little older, business type, he doesn't like him, says he's married." Brenda eyes grew wide, "Oh Valerie." she says under her breath and kept reading.

"Why doesn't that surprise me." Brenda gives me a look and faces her computer screen again.

Brandon and Brenda emailed each other weekly, they weren't always as detailed as this, these came every few months giving her the beef on everyone we knew. I wasn't 100% sure but the last one came months ago letting us know Kelly had finished rehab and was doing good and people telling us they were happy we were together. It had been a while since we had heard anything from Beverly Hills like this. "Sounds like Clare and Steve are on the outs too." Brenda frowned, "Donna and David too." she looked over at me sadly. "That sucks." Brenda commented.

"That's it I guess, something about David and his room mate throwing a big party at their new Hollywood Hills house. Sounds fun." she sadly sighed and closed down her computer.

"You okay?" I reached my hand to her knee and squeezed.

She sighed again, "Yeah…I'm ok…just sometimes I feel like they are so far away."

I chuckled, "They are far away baby." I knew I was being a smart ass and Brenda's look confirmed she was being serious. "I'm sorry…I know what you mean. You ever think about a trip back home, just for a visit?"

She shrugged, "Not especially. You know it's weird, I read these emails and I miss them. I see them doing all this fun stuff, the parties in the hills or the Queen Mary and feel sad to miss out…but going there after geez almost 4 years, I don't know if it would be the same."

"Our anniversary is coming up in a couple months, we could visit together?"

Brenda got up and shook her head, "No way…I'm good." her tone hard to read.

She started walking towards the bedroom, "Bren?" she whipped around with an expression that was equally hard to read. "You ok?"

"I'm fine…I just don't want to go home. You can if you want." Ok now I knew something was wrong. Now I could read her. I got up and moved my arms tightly around her waist and she looked up at me.

"I wouldn't go without you." I looked into her eyes, "I'm fine either way, but why exactly are you so against it? You tell me every week how much you miss your brother. The old gang aside I would think seeing him, your twin, after 4 years would be worth the trip alone."

She looked down, "I do want to see Brandon."

I bent down making her look at me, "So then…what's the big deal?"

She took a deep breath and looked into my eyes. I knew she was scared to tell me. I smiled at her a little smile to let her know she could tell me anything.

"It would be weird there with you." she shyly shrugged.

"Why is that?" I looked at her curiously.

She exhaled and pulled away from me, "It just would…a lot has happened there since I left and you and Kelly…it wouldn't be comfortable. I'd feel out of place. I don't want to go, drop it." she didn't look in my eyes and I watched her go into our bedroom. I stood there looking after her hearing the shower turn on. What the fuck…Kelly? Seriously? I walked down into our bedroom and leaned against the master bathroom doorway seeing her in the shower.

"I know you know me better than that, especially if you think I'm just going to drop this conversation." I commented and she grunted annoyed as she began washing her hair. I was so thrown off, I wasn't even checking out her naked frame through the glass doors, well sort of I wasn't. "Kelly? Why would you feel uncomfortable to see Kelly being with me? I would actually think that us being there together for a visit would actually make her feel more uncomfortable about the situation, not us."

"I'm sure it would." she said short.

"So…why would you be uncomfortable? I'm with you. We live together, we are a couple months shy of our anniversary. I just want to know where this is coming from?"

I knew I was pushing, but I was seriously confused.

She turned her back to me, "It's just would…will you come off it already."

Brenda and I had fought while living together a hand full of times. I could count them on one hand. Usually if Brenda was having a hormonal woman day, she would bite my head off about leaving a wet towel on the floor or dropping crumbs on the couch after she vacuumed. We've only fought once about the past and that was a week ago when she was getting into character to audition. This was different. I stared at her, she was ignoring me. Her back away from me continuing to wash her hair or body. Fuck this. I reached behind me and pulled my shirt over my head, then took my jeans off. I opened up the shower door and moved in front of her. She looked at me surprised, I had startled her.

"What are you doing?" she said annoyed.

"If you aren't going to give me answers I'm coming in to get them. Please talk to me Brenda. You know I can honestly say this isn't you. At least not London you. Please tell me what this is about. I don't give a shit if we go to L.A. I left Beverly Hills for a reason shortly after Halloween. Here it is the end of September, coming up on the anniversary of Toni's death and I still would take you there if that's what you wanted. You think that wouldn't be uncomfortable for me? I don't give a shit, I would be fine because I would be with you. Now you tell me why you are bringing up fucking Kelly and why a trip to the states would make you feel uncomfortable?" My god, I sighed, I didn't talk to Brenda like this. By the look she was giving me, she realized it too, how serious I was because I didn't usually do this.

She looked down and brought her hands to my chest. She leaned in and kissed my right peck softly before looking into my eyes. "I'm sorry." she murmured. She signed loudly shaking her head, "You're fucking frustrating." she commented and it make me laugh a little.

"You are beyond frustrating right now." I looked at her seriously now, "What?"

"Look Dylan…it's stupid…after I left Beverly Hills I got involved with Mark. I didn't think much about you or Kelly or you sleeping with Valerie that first year. But then I hear your offering trips around the world and trying to break Kelly and Brandon up. I hear you show up drunk at Donna's coming out party and make a scene about finding out the two of them were together. There is just a lot of stuff that happened when I was gone. And even though I love my life with you. I love you…so much more than I ever thought even possible. It doesn't mean its not uncomfortable to know these things you did with her, for her…it just makes me uneasy and there isn't anything you can do or say to make it better. There just isn't, we could be married with kids and I probably still would be uncomfortable the first time going out there. I missed so much." my eyes widened at the marriage with children part and she chuckled knowing I was stuck on that. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's not a big deal. I don't want to fight with you." she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and gave me a peck, "I know you're mine." I kissed her again. "I know you love me."

"I do…so much." I whispered.

She nodded and smiled leaning in to kiss me again, this time deep and more passionate. I thought about what she said and it did make sense. I guess it was more a woman thing, I had to see Mark and her interaction all the time. Yeah we didn't see him as much since the tour was finished and so was the play but he was around. I still had to leave her at times when she was touring alone with him. I saw the way he looked at her and the subtle way she flirted with him not even knowing she was doing it, they had a past, a connection at some point, I know it doesn't just go away. Sometimes it was uncomfortable but I knew she was my girl. She had proven her loyalty to me over the years even. Maybe I needed to do so too. I leaned my hair back into the spray of the shower and turned my back towards her. I felt her lather up and start to wash my back with her loofa thing. I closed my eyes feeling her soft touch as she washed me. She lowered the sponge thing and moved it in a small circle across my ass. I felt the faint touch of her finger touch my butt crack and I laughed out loud. I turned around fast and lifted her in my arms, turning her slightly so she was in the spray of the shower. Like I used to when we would shower off together at the beach in LA. She smiled as she kissed me, "You're a naughty girl." I whispered against her lips and she widened her smile knowing I was right. I didn't say anything about her explanation and she knew I understood, thats the great thing about us, we got each other, all I pushed for was her to talk to me and she did and she was right, I couldn't fix it, I couldn't change the past, believe me I would if I could. She went down on me then, letting me spill into her mouth, which she only let me do sometimes, it was amazing. I returned the favor wanting to feel her release against my tongue and lips, feeling her shake and cry out against me, she would cry out my name, practically getting me hard again seeing her in ecstasy, it was equally as amazing for me to see her orgasm, it was favorite thing in the world. The great thing about my relationship with Brenda. It wasn't only physical. Our need for each other was so real, so strong that we ended up there more than half of the time but Bren and I talked to each other. We weren't afraid to hurt each other's feelings, she didn't get mad at me when I said she was acting crazy or theatrical and I didn't get angry with her when she called me a pain in the ass. I knew I was. I had an idea for our anniversary and it did include Beverly Hills in the presence of our friends, I had even thought about flying our new friends there too, but if I couldn't get her there then I would have to think about something else. I had a couple months to plan it. It was going to blow her away, it would blow everyone away. Our anniversary was right before Thanksgiving, I needed to get creative.

 _Anyone know what Dylan is planning? My lips are sealed. The next chapter is started and it jumps ahead to Halloween. It will be amazing in true Bandit fashion. Also we hear from someone from BH…in person…on the phone…by email I wont say but it is NOT Brandon. You probably wont know what Dylan is planning for a couple chapters though. I apologize for that. I guess you'll have to see. Hit review. It will make me post the next chapter quickly :D!_


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

 _My friends are sometimes like enemies,_

 _and other times like allies._

 _When we fight, its like a war,_

 _but without the blood and gore._

 _but i know my friends will stick by me,_

 _and i will stick by them._

 _Just almost quite like the hem on a t-shirt,_

 _from me to them._

 _L_ _ozzi_ _D_ _rippin_

"What about Cinderella and Prince Charming?" Brenda smiled at me.

"No." I said with a sigh.

"Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love?"

Hmmmm…Better… "No…you and I blondes...no...I'm not dressing up. Stop already, I said no costumes."

"Oh Dylan…come on…you already told the guys you were going…don't make me dress up alone?" Her voice turned whiney and I had trouble saying no to that. I ignored her.

"Buttercup and Wesley from Princess Bride?" she smiled widely at me.

I exhaled covering my face with my hands, "Uhhhhh NO!" I yelled with a laugh. "It is a good one though." It was and I would get to carry a sword.

She laughed at me biting her lip as she moved to straddle me. She kissed me softly, gliding her tongue against my lips, "Please." kiss… "Please honey…please wear a costume with me." I looked into her eyes, she was giving me that look, the look of pure lust, sweetness and pride. Pride she knew I would give in eventually. "You had no problem dressing up with me our junior year…remember? Bonnie and Clyde? We were the sexiest couple of bandits at the party. Please baby…I'll owe you." she practically sang the last part. I sighed.

"Fine…something cool. Like Natural Born Killers." Yeah that's what I'm talking about.

She looked at me, "That's not even a costume."

"Sure it is…guns and ammo. It's awesome."

"No." She got off me and pouted. I grabbed her and brought her to the couch, her back flat against it as I hovered over her.

"Where do you think you're going? If you are making me wear a costume tomorrow night then you owe me big." I grinned taking her lips in mine.

She smiled, "Deal but not now…I have to get to rehearsal." Damn it I thought. Brenda had gotten the part of Sylvia, Eric did not get the part of Victor. Some guy named Oliver Hudson did. I hadn't met him yet. The girls gushed about him apparently he graduated from RADA as well and he had a famous family from no other than Beverly Hills. That's all I knew of him. Probably better, this play was a lot more grown up and serious than Spring Awakening. Who knows what she would be doing with him. My stomach hurt thinking about it. Brenda didn't talk about him much just that his family was in the business. I kissed Brenda goodbye and went to make myself a sandwich. It was nice having the apartment back to ourselves and with Brenda back rehearsing again I had alone time which I enjoyed for the most part. It was almost the anniversary of Toni's death and I had been surprisingly okay. I thought about her and that night. I thought of how she decorated my apartment for Halloween and we found that stupid cat Trouble. By the way I had traveled with her for a couple weeks and gave it to a family I had met in Amsterdam. I didn't need a fucking cat, the kids loved it more than I did. My thoughts stopped at that. I felt guilty, thinking I should be more upset but I was happy, not happy she was gone just happy where my life was now. Did that make me an insensitive asshole?

I checked Bren and I's email. Brandon told me how they celebrated Halloween early. A haunted house at the Keg house and a party at the after dark. He went as Charlie Chaplin. He was dateless, keeping that girl Tracy at arms length not wanting to make the same mistake he had with Susan. Donna and David were indeed done, she was dating some fireman. Kelly was sort of seeing a Keg man too, some guy named Mark, ironic I know. Steve and Clare were still on the ins and outs…more outs from the sound of it and the kicker, Valerie had broken it off with the married guy or he had I wasn't sure but she was pregnant, that was the rumor anyway. Jesus I couldn't imagine that. Brandon did mention an abortion though and that made me feel bad for her. That was the 411, I swear I was worse than Brenda with the gossip but hearing who everyone was dating made me feel oddly better, they all were everywhere, with different partners it was like a soap opera and I had exactly what I wanted right here, I was settled. I sort of wondered what my life would be like if I had stayed in Beverly Hills and I didn't think I would enjoy whatever skank I was banging or what lonely life I was living. My life was here and this year had been a positive year for me. Even after all the tragedy.

After cleaning the mess I made in the kitchen and reading a book Brenda was due home in an hour and half and I clicked on the television in hopes to waste time. Her rehearsals ran late for the most part so 4 days a week we either ate late or we ate separate. That kind of sucked but I was so proud of her. She was doing what she dreamed of doing and even though we saw less of each other, the love was stronger than ever and the physical part of our love was even better. I couldn't complain about late dinners and time alone, not when I looked at what I had. The door bell rang and I was taken back on who would be visiting at 9 at night. I looked through the peep hole and I could not believe who was looking down our hallway. I swung open the door with wide eyes. I was physically speechless.

"Hey Dylan." Valerie said with a smile.

"Uh Val…what the hell are you doing here?" I didn't mean to sound rude, but of all the people to show up on our door, Valerie Malone was not one of them.

"You aren't happy to see me?" She set her hand on her hip and batted her eyelashes at me.

"I don't know…what I'm feeling right now." I said seriously. What the fuck?

She walked in without being invited and took off her coat and set down her bag.

"Nice place you have here. Where's Bren?" she looked around making herself at home.

"Brenda is at rehearsal." I shook my head and pushed back my hair, "Seriously Val…what are you doing here?"

She turned to look at me and took a deep breath. "I had to get far away from Beverly Hills and you and Brenda were the farthest I knew anyone lived. I left early this morning and came here from the airport. Happy Halloween Eve." she smiled shyly. "Hope you guys don't mind if I crash here, its only for a few days."

"I don't think that's the best idea Val." Brenda was going to flip the fuck out. At least I think she was. I wasn't comfortable with it that was for sure.

Valerie took a deep breath and sat on the couch. I followed her lead and sat beside her, something was truly going on. "What's going on Val?" Valerie was a hard ass, well at least she pretended to be. I had seen her vulnerable which she didn't show many people. She had a tough bad girl exterior with a soft scared little girl center. Valerie took another big breath and looked at me, tears in her eyes.

"I did something so fucked up." she swallowed hard. I waited for her to continue. "Before I left to come here Kenny, the married guy I was seeing, paid me $100,000 to stay away from him." My eyes widened, well this wasn't something that came in Brandon's email that was for sure.

"After you told him you were pregnant?" this guy sounded like an asshole and if I was in LA I would have paid him a visit.

She looked down ashamed and I reached up and softly grabbed her neck massaging it gently. I urged her to finish, she looked at me, tears in her eyes, "I was never pregnant." my hand dropped and I sighed.

"Oh Val." I shook my head.

"I know. I'm a terrible person. I just didn't even think. I didn't want to lose him or maybe in my own deluded head I wanted to see him squirm. I don't know. I took the money and used some of it to come here, I needed to get away from LA even if it's just for the weekend."

She then started crying and I brought her into me and comforted her. This side is what I had seen before. She could act like the bad girl but this side came out with her insecurity. I never really had a relationship with Valerie, not a real one really. We had plenty of sex and she was more than hot and a wild cat in the sack but that's all it was. We were both so much alike, damaged and vulnerable just to put on a tough act. I could't judge Valerie for her mistakes, I had been no boy scout. I let her cry in my arms as I rubbed her head and her back, giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

"Dylllaaaannn." Brenda sang out as the front door opened. She had two garment bags in her arms, "I have the BEST Halloween costumes for us…." she froze wide eyed as Valerie and I jumped apart faster than if we had touched a hot pan. "Valerie?" Brenda's voice broke, shock written all over her face. We jumped up to our feet.

"Ah Bren…look who's here…ah…" I was stuttering, not because I had done anything wrong but because this was the most awkward thing ever.

The tough exterior washed over Valerie in an instant, "Hey Bren…it's been a long time." her voice almost venomous.

I saw Brenda exhale and put on her best tough girl face as well, she had always had it. She smirked and tossed the garment bags on the chair. Her hands went to her waist, "Maybe not long enough." I was standing in between them, it was surreal seeing them in the same room together. They were tossing daggers at one another and I kept thinking about how my life with Valerie and my life with Brenda had never intercepted.

"We've known each other for a long time, I thought you be at least a little happy to see me." Valerie kept her smile, I had seen this so many times in the numerous fights between her and Kelly. Valerie was putting on the nice girl act.

"Well…I am happy to see you. I don't have a clue why you're here and why you two are all over each other. But all the same…it's good to see you."

"Brenda…" I interrupted. "We were not all over each other."

She looked at me her face getting hard, "Right." she breathed out. "Well…don't let me interrupt." She grabbed the garment bags and walked past Valerie on her way to the bedroom.

I looked at Valerie, her brave tough girl face gone as she looked down. "I'll be right back." I breathed out following Brenda into our bedroom. I walked in seeing Brenda's back to me as I closed the door a little.

"Bren…" she turned around quickly and crossed her arms.

"What she doing here?" she hushed whispered.

"I'll let her tell you. She is only staying for the weekend…she had some trouble in LA."

"And the part with her in your arms, What was that?" She glared at me. "Let me guess…Dylan the supporter, the man troubled women flock too."

I shook my head and took two steps toward her, "Brenda." my voice stern, "Have I ever in the past 11 months given you any reason not to trust me?"

She stared at me for several seconds before she exhaled, "No." she said softly.

I moved toward her. "Please stop this. You know damn well nothing is or was going on with Valerie and I. Not for many years. And let me remind you that you were here with Mark at that time." I said his name like he was poison.

She looked at me exhaling through her nose, she knew I was right.

"Look Brenda…" Val pushed opened the bedroom door obviously eaves dropping, her tough girl act long gone. "I'm sorry it looked the way it did. I know you have probably heard terrible things about me. I can only imagine what you've heard from Kelly alone but I was always a fan of yours." Valerie stepped through our bedroom and smiled, "When I heard from Jonsey Dylan was here…"

"Jonsey?" I looked at her.

She chuckled, "Um yeah…I hired Jonsey to help me find Colin."

"Kelly's boyfriend?" Brenda asked confused.

Valerie rolled her eyes and Brenda pursed her lips together in a smile, "Anyway…yes Colin owed me money and he left town, I was going to lose the club. I asked Jonsey if he knew where you were." Valerie looked at me. "I was worried about you. He told me he tracked you down here, in London. Brandon and I heard Jonsey's message and Brandon seemed to think there was no way you and Dylan would be here together, in a city this big, kind of like what were the odds you'd run into one another." I looked at Bren, if Brandon had only known then I seeked her out. "I was ecstatic! Hearing you two were together again made perfect sense and it helped I knew Kelly would be devastated, plus I had something that had the possibility to kill her inside, I enjoyed hurting her." Brenda looked down and bit her lip and Valerie took a deep breath exhaling, "Of course it really didn't, with that letter from Dylan and everyone finding out you guys had reunited the only thing it did was make Kelly come over and throw herself at Brandon. Which thank god he saw through." Brenda crossed her arms again maybe not liking that fact. "Anyway I'm not a fan of Kelly, we don't see eye to eye but you Bren…we go way back. I confess when I moved in to your room I went through that box you had in the garage. I knew how much you two loved each other and I knew what Kelly did to you. I know I didn't act in the most loyal way but I don't know, I was troubled then, guess I still am…I liked to be in your shoes. My point is I was routing for you two."

Brenda swallowed hard and looked up at me, her face soft and understanding, "I'm sorry I was cold to you. You look good Val, I'm sorry that LA has been rough. You're welcome to stay here and hide out for as long as you want. I don't talk to Kelly…to be honest so she hasn't told me anything about you. I wouldn't let Kelly influence me on who to be friends with anyway. Actually…your timing is perfect. Tomorrow we are going to a Halloween party, we could go get you a costume…you could come with. Let loose meet some cool people?" Brenda gave Valerie a genuine smile which Valerie gave back

"That actually sounds great." and just like that Valerie and Brenda were allies. This was weird. The two looked at each other with a common understanding and I didn't exactly know what that was. Brenda and Valerie were so different, but maybe they had more in common then I had thought. I was afraid to know that the common denominator in their relationship was Kelly. I wasn't going to go there. We moved into the living room where Valerie had opened up and filled Brenda in on Kenny and her having to run away from Beverly Hills. She had added that Kelly knew she was lying about the pregnancy and had told Brandon. Valerie was scared to death Brandon, who had always stuck up for her when it came to Kelly was going to see through her and not want to be in her life anymore in which Brenda thought was ridiculous. After the serious, Brenda made dinner for the three of us and I hate to admit it was a good time. Brenda and Valerie reminisced about Minnesota and growing up together. They seemed to click again like they had all those years before. They had holidays together and went on vacations together., it was cool to hear them talk about when they were younger. They also had a mutual dislike for Valerie's father which I was not in on but all in all it was a fun night.

I rubbed my belly full from the Mexican feast Brenda had cooked up. "So Bren…this costume…I'm afraid to ask what you just picked up for us. It better be cool." I smiled at her and Valerie laughed.

"Oh my god…it's so good." She got up quickly and went to the bedroom, I assumed to get the garment bags.

Valerie looked over at me, "You guys are so perfect together. It's good to see you genuinely happy."

I nodded shyly, "I am."

"I see that." Valerie was a good person, she just didn't let many people see. I think Brandon knew that too deep down but I also knew how much he loved and cared for Kelly. I had hoped he wouldn't cut Val out. Brenda came in holding the garment bags with an excited smile.

"We are going…as." she unzipped them and brought out an all black suit, her dress something from the early 1960's. "Johnny Cash…and June Carter." she said with a thick southern accent. "One of the greatest love stories of all time, plus you have the perfect hair."

I smiled and looked up letting out a laugh. "Oh baby…that's good." I nodded, "You did good."

Brenda danced around in victory as Valerie and I laughed at her.

"What am I going to go as? Shit…something sexy. Oh Brenda tell me you have some hot single male friends?"

Brenda looked at me with a guilty smile and I knew without a doubt who she was thinking of. "Well…I can think of one." Brenda eyed Valerie with that same guilty smile and Valerie returned it. These two were dangerous together. I liked it…I liked it a lot.

 _Sooooo any guesses? Did any of you guess it was going to be Valerie that came from BH? Around those episodes Valerie is in hot water, she doesn't have many friends and later in the season when Brandon and kelly get back together he does indeed ask Valerie to move out. I thought it was sort of believable for Valerie to run away, not tell anyone where she would go. maybe I'm crazy but I can picture it. Anyway next up is Halloween. Please review and let me know who you think the guy is…will it be Mark or Ethan? You may guess right…but it wont be so simple…_


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

 _I'm too damaged to be a part of your life plans_

 _I'm not ready to start making wife plans_

 _But I guarantee you a great time if you put your body in my hands_

 _I'll be your favorite one night stand_

 _We can have a great time now, but I can't be kept_

 _I'll kiss and touch you in ways you won't be able to forget_

 _I'll kiss your neck and do things I don't need to talk about_

 _The great night will stay between us, no words will leave our mouths_

 _We can help each other to forget our pain_

 _We can have one long night to see it through_

 _Even though our bodies will burn hotter than a flame_

 _Tomorrow there will be no me and you_

 _You look great in your dress, let me help you take it off_

 _You're wearing your favorite underwear and the lace is soft_

 _We're both ready for a night of passion_

 _That will be something great between us tonight with no one to judge our actions_

 _I'm too damaged to be a part of your life plans_

 _I'm not ready to start making wife plans_

 _But I guarantee you a great time if you put your body in my hands_

 _I promise not to think of her_

 _I'll be your favorite one night stand_

 _Alex Duffy_

"You have to rat it more Bren…you need that 60's height." Valerie brushed her short brown hair trying to style it.

I picked up my grown out bangs and started teasing it so I could get the June carter beehive look. I decided to rat the bangs out and secure them with bobby pins then put some gentle waves in the part that was down.

"Here…let me give you those smokey eyes." Valerie smiled picking up my eyeshadow brush. I closed my eyes giving her access to my lids.

"You know…you and Dylan look really happy."

I smiled, "Yep…surprised?"

"No…not really. You know I wasn't going to tell anyone that I came here, but seeing the two of you together like this…I'm not going to lie, its tempting to rub it in Kelly's face."

I took a deep breath, "Val…this hate will only bring you down. I learned that a long time ago."

I heard her exhale, "I know…I don't think it would matter too much anyway. She seems to be hell bent on Brandon. They decided to be friends for now but I see the way they look at each other. It's disgusting." I chuckled.

I opened the eye she wasn't working on. "Val…are you in love with Brandon?" I was a little grossed out. I mean I feel like they were brother and sister.

Valerie shrugged, "Not really. I just don't want Brandon to end up with her. She's not a good person Bren. Let me do your other eye."

I closed my eye and felt her start to work, "She isn't as bad as you think Val. I know you two have obviously had issues but Kelly has been through a lot."

"Oh please…she acts like she is better than everybody else, she is judgmental and Brenda she is a straight up bitch."

I took a deep breath, "Maybe I don't know her like you do, people change a lot I guess." I decided to drop it. I mean Kelly had her moments. We always didn't see eye to eye either but I didn't hate Kelly and I liked the idea of Brandon and Kelly together, maybe it was my own selfish way of liking the fact she was deeply in love with someone other than Dylan. Who knows but I didn't want to go there right now.

Valerie and I had finished getting ready. My dress was super cute, it was 60's style came right below my knee. It was puffed out a little but the cutest and sexiest part about it was the top section. It was halter and showed a decent amount of cleavage, the bodice outlined in lace. It was black with red flowers on it and of course I wore simple black pumps. Valerie on the other hand looked dangerous with her cat women costume. With ears to boot and a cat tail on her leather one piece that was tight as sin. Hey if you got it flaunt it and Valerie indeed had it. She had grown into a beautiful woman. Her dark brown hair and crystal blue eyes. She had that sweet round face and tits and ass to boot. She was a knock out. Everything screamed vixen and I imagined it wasn't easy for her to meet men. Her and David must have been precious together as well. I could also picture Dylan and her being hot and heavy. I didn't want to imagine that too too much even though I was far from an angel with Mark.

We walked out of the bedroom to find Dylan standing devilishly handsome in his all black suit. No tie with his shirt unbuttoned a little showing his chest. He had a guitar strapped to his back which he must have borrowed from Tyler. It was a gorgeous all black D-35 Martin. It was Tyler's pride and joy and made specifically as a collective Johnny Cash guitar. Dylan must have signed in his own blood to be able to use it for tonight. I smiled looking at his hair. It wasn't much different than he wore it in high school. The front of his hair styled and high as hell. He had a cigarette that wasn't lit hanging out of his mouth and black ray bans.

"Hello…I'm Johnny Cash." He said deep and like his character.

Valerie and I laughed out loud, "We'll look at you…my man in black."

I walked closer to him as he looked me up and down, taking down his glasses to the tip of his nose and holding the cigarette between his fingers.

"Well if it isn't Miss June Carter Cash." I smiled and went to him. Leaning in taking his lips to mine. He depend the kiss and dipped me back, taking his lips to my neck making me giggle.

Valerie cleared her throat and our attention went to her. She posed and I reached up jokingly and closed Dylan's mouth.

"Damn Val. You look hot." Dylan said and I playfully hit him in the gut. I was really kidding. Valerie was too crazy for Dylan, even I could see that.

"You know who…will be all over that tonight." Dylan whispered to me and I looked up with a smile.

"You guys ready?" and with that we were off.

The party was at the pub, Mark and Tyler's band was playing there too. It was going to be fun. We walked in with Guns N' Roses Sweet child of mine and people in amazing costumes. Valerie smiled wide as we walked in.

"This is awesome!"

Dylan and I smiled at each other, we wanted to show Valerie a nice time. She seemed to be stuck in the rut of LA and the cure which we both knew was to just get away, even if hers was going to be short. We walked over to the gang and I introduced her to Eric, Laura, Tyler and Angie. She smiled her sweetest smile and greeted them. I looked around for Mark, that's who I wanted to introduce her too. She was only visiting and I knew first hand Mark would give her a good time if they clicked. I found him taking shots with some of the other bandmates. Dylan rolled his eyes when I kissed him good bye and dragged Valerie over to the bar.

"Brenda…look at you, if it isn't little miss Juney Carter." Mark smiled at me then his eyes went to Valerie then back at me.

"Hey Mark. I wanted to introduce you to an old friend. This is Valerie Malone, we grew up together in Minnesota, she's living in LA now."

Mark had a twinkle in his eye, "Valerie Malone…Mark Maddox." He reached out his hand to greet Val. They shook hands and then Mark brought Valerie's hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly.

Valerie smirked and looked down then made eyes with him again, "Pleasure to meet you Mark Maddox."

Mark freed her hand, "The pleasure is all mine." the two stared at one another and I had a victory dance in my head. Mark was so attractive, I knew they would hit it off. We chatted for a little while before Dylan got sick of seeing it and came over handing Valerie and I a couple of drinks. Tyler was there now so Dylan had someone to chat with. He took his guitar wanting to use it for the set and it would make it easier on Dylan too. Not having to cart around a guitar all night. Tyler and Angie were dressed up in true Texas form as a cowgirl and cowboy. She wasn't singing with the band but Tyler had asked her to come up and sing a couple songs with them.

"Oh Dylan, a few of your songs made the set list for tonight." Tyler commented.

"Is that right?" Dylan looked at Mark surprised, he always shot down Tyler when it came to Dylan's songs. Mark looked away taking a swig of his beer.

"Tennessee Whiskey…Like I can…and Angie is going to sing I will never let you know." Tyler smiled.

"Well…cool thanks. I didn't do too much, Angie here is the one that sees something when she reads my poems."

Valerie looked over at us, "You write music now?" impressed.

"Well I wouldn't say that." Dylan got shy.

"He writes amazing poems, and our friends here made them into songs." I said proudly.

"Well my inspiration is pretty amazing too." Dylan said sweetly.

Dylan wrapped his arm around me and I felt a gentle kiss on my head. Mark exhaled loudly and turned towards the stage. I hadn't seen him in a while, I had heard him and Veronica had something but from what the girls said it was long over. I looked at Valerie and she thankfully missed Mark's reaction. Just then Alanis Morissette you oughta know came on and before I even had a chance to laugh Angie was pulling Valerie and myself out onto the dance floor. I turned and saw the boys laughing with a shake of their heads. I danced with the girls having fun singing the girl power anthem that was a huge hit this year. I guess all of us including Valerie very recently had been cheated on or dumped for another woman. We had been joined by Laura as all of us danced around like idiots and sang at the top of our lungs. My eyes met Dylan's as he winked at me causing me to smile. My eyes went towards Mark as he was staring at me. I looked down uncomfortable feeling like it was like I was singing to him. I moved my attention to the girls and smiled. I hadn't hung out with every one in a while and here Valerie of all people was with us. The stares Mark was giving me were making me need another drink. The song had ended and I asked Valerie if she wanted a drink. We stood at the bar waiting to get the bartenders attention.

"So…Mark…cute right?" I gave her smile.

Valerie nodded, "Yeah…he's more than cute."

I got the bartenders attention and ordered us two drinks. "The problem is…" I looked at Valerie confused. "He's in love with you." she finished.

"No…Mark and I had something a long time ago but its been over for a long time. He would be the perfect hook up for you for your visit to London."

Valerie chuckled, "Yeah well…not that I would complain but honey…it may be over in your eyes, but Bren…that guy is completely in love with you. Besides our first meeting he's been staring at you the whole time, it doesn't look over on his side."

I looked over to the boys. Dylan, Tyler and Eric had been in conversation and there was Mark, staring his intense sexy stare over at us. "See." Valerie smiled and shook her head. She ordered a shot and I stared back at him. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I picked up the shot Valerie had bought for me and clinked glasses with her. I shot it back quickly, feeling the warm travel down my body.

"Ladies…you takin shots without me huh?" Mark was now in front of us. Valerie instantly started flirting and ordered another round. I took the shot back thinking about what Valerie said. Maybe she could still have a fun night with Mark. I didn't want to admit it out loud that Mark was being inappropriate with the way he was acting and looking at me. The main thing that came into my mind was the simple fact that if I wasn't with Dylan…I would absolutely be with Mark. Fuck my life. 's My bodies calling for you came on and before I knew it. Mark had grabbed Valerie's hand and pulled her onto the dance floor. She smirked at me and shrugged as she went with it. I laughed thankful Mark was cooperating. I sipped my drink and watched them, they looked cute together. Then something I didn't want to admit was pulling deep within my stomach as well. Before I admitted to myself what it was, I felt strong hands wrap around my waist and kiss down my neck.

"Well…they look like they're hitting it off." Dylan whispered.

I turned into Dylan's arms and nodded. "You gonna dance with me Mr. Cash?" I gave him my best flirt smile and southern accent.

He smirked, "Well…hey pretty lady…show me how to walk the line." I rolled my eyes playfully at his dumb joke and pulled him out to the dance floor. Just in time to bump and grind against the love of my life to Ginuwine's Pony. I was feeling warm and tipsy as I ground against Dylan. He giving me his sexy eyes as he gripped my waist, his hands running down my back side. Every so often I would look away from those bedroom eyes and check on Valerie. Her and Mark almost seemed to be dry humping just as much as I was. There was that pull again in my gut, I ignored that traitor and remembered what I had right in front of me. Many shots later and double that in dances it was finally time for the band to perform. Valerie stood next to me as Dylan held me in his arms as we watched them start their set.

"Brenda…Dylan…hiya love birds." Ethan came over with a smile.

"Where have you been?" I smiled and gave him a tight hug. He shook Dylan's hand.

"I had rehearsal." he sighed, "But I'm here now. Just in time for the show it looks like."

"What show are you doing?" I asked interested, I hadn't caught up with Ethan in a few weeks.

"Death of a Salesman…down at Southwark, its only been open for 4 years. It's a nice house to perform in."

"Congratulations…thats great."

"Yeah Ethan…you'll have to tell us so we can come see you." Dylan said nicely.

Ethan smiled shyly and nodded.

"Valerie Malone." Valerie butted in and held out her hand.

"I'm so sorry…Valerie this is my good friend Ethan."

Ethan's eyes ran down Valerie's leather costume, "Ethan Taylor." they met hands.

"Well…Batman…nice to meet you." Valerie flirted and I looked at Dylan shaking my head. The funny thing was Ethan was dressed up as Batman and here Valerie was dressed up as Cat woman. They stood next to each other as we watched the show. The band sounded really good. Of course Mark played Blue ain't your color along with Picture the new one he had played for me in Switzerland. I felt Dylan tense next to me when both songs were played. I eased his tension with a squeeze from my hand or a cuddle into his chest. I knew Mark was a sore subject with Dylan and it probably always would be. Just like him and Kelly would be for me. When you love someone like Dylan and I do it was bound to happen. Even though our relationship was so strong right now didn't mean we wanted to picture either of us with someone else.

"They are so good." Valerie whispered to me. "Do they ever come to the states, I so wish they would come and play at the After Dark."

I laughed and shrugged, "They toured a little bit but it didn't work out. They play open mic and some gigs around town."

"Well..shit maybe they need a manager."

"Well wouldn't that be weird fooling around with a client?" I joked about her and Mark and laughed. "Or shit maybe it wouldn't, I see you and Ethan flirting."

Valerie looked down embarrassed, "Oh please this one is super hot but he's too sweet for me. He doesn't look like a wham bam thank you ma'am kind of guy." We laughed she was right, and that's why I hadn't thought to hook her up with Ethan to begin with. I could picture the two of them spending the night together, Valerie leaving on the plane back to LA and Ethan's heart being broken. Her attention still seemed to be directed at Mark. I couldn't blame her, Mark had charm and looks. He was sexy and I knew first hand how easy it was to be attracted to him. Angie played a couple of her songs she had wrote with Dylan, she sounded amazing as usual. Like I can was a duet with Tyler, which turned out so good with their chemistry. I had assumed Mark wouldn't sing it if it was the last song on earth. He did sing Tennessee Whiskey which was beyond phenomenal. They had put a bluesy country twist to it. Dylan sang it to me while we danced and my heart swelled with pride knowing that song was written about me after making love. I had too many drinks. I was feeling almost dizzy and was thankful the show was coming to an end. Valerie had danced with Mark on breaks and Ethan while Mark was playing. Even if she went back to the apartment alone I think Dylan and I succeed in showing her a good time. It was the last song of their set and it was one I hadn't heard before.

"Our last song is dedicated to the lonely hearts out there. To the people that are forced to move on from people they care about but don't want to." Mark said into the microphone. Tyler had moved to the piano and started the song. I felt Dylan behind me, cuddling close and swaying us slowly from side to side.

" _Well you only need the light when it's burning low_

 _Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

 _Only hate the road when you're missing home_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _And you let her go."_

Mark rocked out on his guitar getting into the song. His mouth getting close to the microphone. His sexy glare piercing mine. Shit

 _Staring at the bottom of your glass_

 _Hoping one day you'll make a dream last_

 _But dreams come slow and they go so fast_

 _You see her when you close your eyes_

 _Maybe one day you'll understand why_

 _Everything you touch surely dies."_

Oh God…he was looking at me. I think Mark plays amazing music but he sure had a way of getting me into trouble with the men in my life.

 _"Cause you only need the light when it's burning low_

 _Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

 _Only hate the road when you're missing home_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _Staring at the ceiling in the dark_

 _Same old empty feeling in your heart_

 _Love comes slow and it goes so fast_

 _Well you see her when you fall asleep_

 _But never to touch and never to keep_

 _'Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep_

 _'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low_

 _Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

 _Only hate the road when you're missing home_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _And you let her go_

 _Oh oh oh no_

 _And you let her go_

 _Oh oh oh no_

 _And you let her go_

 _Well, you only need the light when it's burning low_

 _Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

 _Only hate the road when you're missing home_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low_

 _Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

 _Only hate the road when you're missing home_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _And you let her go."_

Dylan's arms got tighter around my waist protectively but he said nothing. I looked over at Valerie her sympathetic smile piercing me. People clapped around them and I was happy she broke the awkward silence between Dylan and I.

"They are really really good."

Dylan exhaled and nodded, "Yeah…they are."

"I can't believe you wrote those songs Dylan…that's amazing." Valerie had pride behind her eyes.

Dylan laughed, the awkwardness gone… "Thanks Val."

The rest of the night was a blur to me. I vaguely remember how the rest of the night went. I know I had way too many drinks, I remember leaving Valerie in the care of Mark and Dylan saying something to her like "Call me if you need me." And him giving her his key.

I remember trying to walk back to the apartment and Dylan giving me a piggy back ride more than half the way. I remember we laughed a lot and joked about Valerie and Mark having sex and hooking up. Then I remember trying to get some myself and Dylan throwing me over his shoulder taking me to the bedroom where we got a few touches, kisses, undressed each other before the room was spinning and I fled to the bathroom in my bra and underwear.

"I'm dying." I breathed out after heaving into the toilet.

"I assure you…you are not…even though it feels like it." Dylan said sweetly holding back my hair.

I disgustingly rested my cheek against the toilet seat looking at Dylan, thankful I had just cleaned the bathroom earlier that day. "How do you think Valerie and Mark are doing?" just at that moment, we heard the front door open.

"Over so soon huh…I thought he was stud in the bedroom Bren." Dylan joked and I smacked him playfully. He laughed a little and rubbed down my back in support. Then we heard Valerie giggle and foot steps up into the loft. "Well…maybe not." Dylan said his attention at the bathroom door.

My stomach turned again and I threw up more into the toilet. Dylan's attention back on me again holding back my hair as I vomited violently. Mark and Valerie in my apartment screwing…gross. I recognized the pull in my gut, it wasn't jealousy because I didn't want to be in her shoes but it resembled it. It was being weirded out that someone you had truly liked at one time, was fucking your child hood friend. That's what that gut pull was. I vomited again.

I woke up with the sun too bright on my face. I thankfully was in bed, remembering the last place I was in hugging the porcelain god. I opened my eyes and looked at Dylan. He was resting soundly and my head pounded. "Ugh." I grunted in need of water and Advil pronto. I peeled myself out of bed and walked to the kitchen grabbing my hang over necessities. I was surprised as I walked into the living room I saw Valerie and Ethan kissing. Holy shit. They were standing at the top of the loft stairs in each other's arms. I cleared my throat and they looked at me with sweet grins.

"Well…well…good morning Ethan." I smiled.

They came down the stairs hand and hand, "Good morning Brenda." he said happily.

"How you feeling Bren?" Valerie asked, crap did everyone know I was a drunk ass last night?

I shrugged, "Ok…nothing a little water, Advil and junk food won't cure."

"How bout some breakfast? I'll do the honors to thank you for letting me stay here." Valerie smiled and looked at Ethan, "You wanna help?"

"Of course…I make a mean breakfast." he responded, "I'll meet you there…got to hit the little boys room." Ethan kissed Valerie on the cheek and went off to the common bathroom.

I looked at Valerie surprised, "What happened to Mark?" I whispered.

She rolled her eyes, "After Dylan and you left, he wouldn't stop talking about you. Finally I tried to flirt and even make out with him, he kept on asking me how you were doing and if you and Dylan were doing okay. By then the charm and good looks wasn't enough for him and he became a huge turn off. Ethan and I danced and talked, he is a really cool guy. We have a lot in common surprisingly."

"You and Ethan?" I asked surprised. "Mark talked about me?" I was too hung over for this.

Valerie giggled, "Don't act so surprised, Ethan told me about you and Mark. Are you the only person in this town that is in denial? All your friends know." UGH

"But…you're leaving tomorrow…where does that leave you and Ethan?" I didn't want Ethan to hurt anymore than he had. I had done enough to that poor guy.

Valerie shrugged, "Ethan isn't such a boy scout Bren, he knows I'm only visiting. He wanted me and I wanted him. We exchanged numbers and said we would keep in touch. It's nice to have someone new that doesn't know my past and drama. He said if he ever comes out to California he would look me up. I hope he does…he is so hot and girl…good in bed, he's hung." I knew this disturbingly. The truth was Valerie couldn't have gone wrong with either guy. They both were sexy and hung as Val said so eloquently. Speaking of hung and good in bed, Dylan fingered his hair as a loud yawn came out of his mouth.

"Morning ladies." he mumbled. "How are you feeling my love." his arm came around my shoulder as I leaned in and kissed him long and hard.

"Oh you know…fantastic." my voice dripping with sarcasm.

He chuckled and kissed my temple. "Valerie…did Mark hit it and quit it." I looked at Dylan shocked.

Valerie pursed her lips together with a smirk, "Actually…" Ethan came out of the bathroom at that moment.

"Ready woman…I'm starving. Oh hey Dylan." Ethan said with a smile wrapping his arm around Valerie. He kissed her and they went off to the kitchen to start breakfast. I smiled looking down knowing Dylan's mind was turning in circles.

"What the fuck?" Dylan whispered.

"I know right." I laughed a little happy Ethan had gotten the girl over Mark. Happy Ethan had gotten the girl over the whole entire single horny bar that had Val in their sights all night.

"What happened to Mark?" I looked at Dylan, his expression confused.

I shrugged not wanting to get into that. I gave him my bedroom eyes, I reached down and grabbed both his hands, pulling him into the bedroom while I walked backwards, I could make up for the missed opportunity of the night before and thank him for taking care of me. It was my turn to take care of him and all this talk about being hung made me instantly want my own hung man standing right in front of me.

 _So that was Halloween. Were you surprised about Ethan and not Mark. Valerie is going back to Beverly Hills and Brenda will talk to Ethan a little about Valerie. He's fine though, I think Brenda puts Ethan on a pedestal because of what went down between them. Also more about the plans Dylan has for Brenda. Hit review, let me know what you're thinking._


	29. Chapter 29

_Alright BD fans…don't fret. Just something going on a little. I wanted to reassure you before you read this chapter, I love this couple and I will not mess things up. Everything they go through will make them stronger. They have been together almost 1 year out of the 3 and it's only the beginning._

Chapter 29

 _Have you ever felt_

 _Like no matter what_

 _They do_

 _You will always love them_

 _Because you know it's right_

 _It doesn't feel the same_

 _When someone else holds you tight,_

 _Have you ever felt_

 _When you stare at the moon_

 _You see a shooting star_

 _Fly across the moon_

 _Making a wish that very second_

 _This fight will end quite soon_

 _Sitting in your window_

 _In your room,_

 _Have you ever felt_

 _Like the person_

 _That owns your heart_

 _Did it perfectly from the start_

 _Who has the number one spot on your chart,_

 _Have you ever felt_

 _That no matter what you do_

 _That this war, battle, or fighting for them_

 _Just isn't worth the pain_

 _It's all part of the game,_

 _Have you ever felt_

 _You'd go through everything_

 _All over again_

 _Just to have the chance_

 _To tell them it's alright_

 _I still love you_

 _No matter what I say_

 _I'll fight for you until my dying day?_

 _Unknown_

 _We fell onto the bed in a passionate pile. He kissed me roughly his lips soft against mine. His hands everywhere, my body on fire. I came hard against him, it might have been a record for us. I hadn't known lust and sex could be like this. I cuddled close to him, my naked body sticky against his. We both sighed, our fight nothing but a memory. Make up sex was my favorite thing it seemed. Fighting with him, I practically felt the butterflies swarming in my stomach as my voice would raise. This wasn't healthy._

" _You sleeping over?" he whispered, his hold on me strong._

" _The time to go has come and gone." I said staring out the window as the break of day teased the night sky. It was almost sunrise. "You make it hard to say goodnight." I cuddled tighter against him feeling his arm constrict upon my waist._

" _Sleep Angel." he cooed kissing the top of my head._

" _You're the devil." I said closing my eyes._

 _He chuckled, "I know…you're still an angel." he said softly. "I'm sorry about earlier."_

 _I took a deep breath remembering the girl I caught him with, "I know…don't do it again."_

 _He squeezed me closer to him, "I won't." he muttered. I sighed knowing that was a lie as I drifted into sleep._

 _I woke up to the gentle beautiful sound of guitar strumming. His voice like ripple of a dream. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He sat up a little in bed with his guitar in his lap. I propped myself and sat up beside him._

" _You couldn't sleep?"_

 _He continued to strum a melody and looked over at me, "No…I watched you sleep for a bit and then gave up and decided to write. You're my muse anyway, want to hear it?"_

 _I smiled, "Of course." I answered as my head leaned against his shoulder as he began to play the intro._

" _It's almost sunrise_

 _Hours and hours gone by_

 _Candles are burned down_

 _Turned into morning light."_

 _I looked at him lustfully recognizing the theme of the night before. He smiled his sexy smirk at me as he sang the chorus, I myself had said the same thing to him earlier._

" _The time to go has come and gone_

 _Why can't I? Why can't I say goodnight?"_

 _I smiled at him…I wasn't sure what I was feeling for this man. I had always told myself I wasn't in love with him but at this moment I wasn't sure. I kept my thoughts to myself as I listened looking deep into his green eyes as he sang to me._

" _The whole world is sleeping_

 _And still I can't give in_

 _It's a love story_

 _I never want to end_

 _The time to go has come and gone_

 _Why can't I? Why can't I say goodnight?_

 _I'm using up all my strength_

 _I can't tear myself away_

 _I_ _t only gets harder as night turns to day."_

 _My head found his shoulder again. I sighed feeling tingles run down my body._

 _There isn't one place_

 _Honey, that I'd rather be."_

 _He brought his head down on mine, cuddling in closer as he continued to play._

" _Right here in your arms_

 _With your head lying on me_

 _The time to go has come and gone_

 _Why can't I? Why can't I say goodnight?"_

 _We lifted our heads and stared into each other's eyes as he ended the song. "That was beautiful." I said quietly. He leaned in and gently kissed me, his lips lingering against mine without deepening it._

" _Not as beautiful as you Bren."_

" _Marky." I whispered as his lips enclosed around mine again. The only sound beside our breaths was the guitar slide off the bed and hit the ground as he rested in between my legs bringing the tingles I was feeling…alive._

I stretched with a smile on my face, peaceful. My eyes widened as I took in my bedroom bringing me into the present. I looked over wide eyed expecting to see Dylan but was thankfully greeted by an empty bed. I sat up quickly my hand flying to my mouth. What the fuck was that? After the guilt making me feel nauseous, I peeled myself out of bed, swinging my robe over my still nude body from the night before and made it to the kitchen. Again being greeted by silence and an empty apartment. I shrugged moving toward the coffee pot finding a note. I brought it closer and read the simple words from Dylan.

 _Went to meet with Tyler. Coffee is made._

I shrugged and helped myself, thankful that Dylan wasn't here this morning to face after that fucked up dream I had. I didn't understand, I hadn't thought about my relationship with Mark at all in the past weeks, longer even years. Why was my subconscious doing this to me? What was it trying to tell me? I loved Dylan. I was positive about that fact. I had never been so happy in all my life. The dream was so vivid as I thought about it. It was one of the many times Mark and I had fought and made up. One of the many times he wrote watching me sleep in his bed. One of the many times we had sex, my insides mush after hearing the song. Why now? I didn't feel this way about Mark. I didn't get those butterflies anymore or the lustful pull I had with him. I did have that with Dylan, I always had. I rubbed down my face roughly pushing this crap deep within. I made my way to the bedroom to finish my coffee and shower and get ready for the day. I had left early for rehearsal, Dylan hadn't made it back before I left. I walked into the coffee shop on the corner that was on the way to the theater and ordered a vanilla non fat latte. Rehearsal didn't start for an hour and half and the silence of the apartment and the dread of my dream, I had to get out and walk. I waited as the barista put the coffee I had gotten on the counter. She smiled and I gave her a quiet thank you. I turned in hopes to find an empty table, clutching my script to my chest. At least I could read trough my lines and waste time. My eyes trailed the coffee shop, noticing how full and crowded it seemed to be. My eyes looked to the corner and to my surprise two green eyes looked up from his notebook and met mine, _Mark_. He smirked at me and motioned to the only empty chair in the place. I swallowed hard, my dream coming to the front end of my mind as I moved through the tables to him. I got there without much trouble and smiled down at him.

"Fancy meeting you here." he said his green eyes piercing mine.

I laughed a little and sat down, placing my script and my coffee on the table, "Yeah…you could say that." I mumbled dropping my bag around the back of the chair. "How you doing?" I said making eye contact and taking a sip of the coffee I had picked up.

He shrugged cutely, "You know…been better."

I nodded and sighed speechless then I smiled and shook my head, what were the fucking odds?

"You going to rehearsal?" he commented looking at my script.

"Yeah…but I have time to kill. You writing?" I motioned my head at his notebook.

"Yeah killing time before meeting the band. Have some new stuff were going to try but Tyler had something going on, so I thought caffeine was in order." I nodded knowing that Tyler was meeting with Dylan. Mark probably didn't know this since if Tyler was as smart as I knew he was, he wouldn't have those two in the same room together. I sat quiet and looked into my latte, not knowing exactly what to say.

"Your friend Valerie get off back to LA okay?" he asked looking down, something shy and embarrassed about it.

I smiled, "Yeah…she left a couple days ago. She sent me an email last night saying she made it home."

"She was pretty that Valerie. Too bad it didn't work out with us."

I set down my coffee and leaned my elbows on the table, "Yeah about that…what happened? You guys seemed into each other." Valerie had of course told me she found his pining on me unattractive but I weirdly wanted to hear his side. Thinking he would say something very Mark I was surprised that truth came out instead.

He cleared his throat and looked down, "I wasn't going to fuck one of your friends Bren."

I looked at him oddly, "But I thought…I thought you and Veronica were hanging out before Halloween?"

He laughed, "Yeah we did and she seemed to like me but…I didn't sleep with her. I didn't even kiss her."

"Oh…" was all that came out of my mouth. I looked down not really sure what to say.

"Again…it wouldn't feel right hooking up with one of your friends not after being with you for a year and half." he repeated.

I smiled at him, "Well…thanks? I don't expect the loyalty but…all the same…thank you." I said honestly. He nodded and looked into my eyes again. Then he laughed a warm laugh that was familiar and comforting at the same time.

"I don't think Valerie was into me anyway. She had eyes for Ethan after I couldn't stop talking about you." he joked but I knew he was being honest after hearing the same from Valerie.

I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, my eyes met his and I shook my head as the tension grew between us. "You're still the devil, you know."

He smiled remembering, "I know." he leaned a bit closer to my face, "And you're still an Angel." My smile faded as I remembered the dream. So vividly, so clearly…it scared me.

"I should go…got to get to rehearsal." I said uncomfortable.

Mark nodded but as I grabbed my purse to take off he reached for my hand before I could get up.

"I had a dream about you last night." he said ironically enough.

I swallowed hard and looked at him, "Yeah? About what?"

"Just one of the many nights in my room with you. Writing and singing you a song, making love to you…."

I smiled and laughed, "Making love? That's what they call it now?" I joked.

He leaned his face close to mine, "Yeah…we had sex a million different ways but that night, was something else. Remember that night when I wrote Why Can't I Say Goodnight?"

I cleared my throat, "Yes." I whispered.

"I'm thinking about bringing that one back…to the set I mean."

I shook my head, "I don't think thats a good idea."

"Why's that?" his green eyes sparkled.

"Mark." I sighed, "You got to stop this. I'm with someone, I'm with Dylan."

"I know…you remind me every time I see you." he looked down sadly.

"Why are you doing this then? You had a lot of chances with me. You didn't care much then, why now, why when I'm happy are you doing this?" I looked down not wanting him to see my eyes.

His index finger rested under my chin, lifting it slowly so I was looking into his eyes, "I cared about you then, I loved you. I love you now. I just want my chance to prove it to you."

I stared at him for seconds too long, "It's too late…get out of my head." I whispered. Then his lips closed around mine in a soft gentle kiss. I pushed back with my chair so fast the scrapping of it against the floor rang out in the coffee shop, "I got to go." I grabbed my stuff and high tailed out of there.

"Brenda." I heard him call after me but I kept going as the cool air hit my face. Blinking back the tears that had came I felt his hands grab my arms from behind, turning me around and my back hit the side of the wall, in between buildings. His face close to mine as I closed my eyes.

"Talk to me." he breathed, he froze as he wiped the tear that had ran down my cheek, "You feel it too." he said so quietly like realization hit him.

"I don't feel anything." I said as I broke down.

"You do…I see it." he was surprised. I tried to wiggle free. "Bren?"

"I'm in love with Dylan." I said finally meeting his stare with my own. "I am truly…head over heels…in love with Dylan." I repeated not only for Mark's benefit but for my own.

"I know Angel…but you love me too." his thumb grazed my lips and I exhaled and shook my head. "Yeah…you do." he whispered and then his mouth was on mine again. I angrily grabbed his neck and kissed him hard, my tongue moving with his roughly. His hands gripped my waist forcibly as he ground his hard on against me. I moaned my heat radiating through my core. I pushed him hard off me coming back to real life. I panted, my chest heaving in and out as I stared at him. I brought my hand up and slapped him as hard as a could across the face. His head turning to the side from the force.

"Stop playing with my head. Get the fuck away from me." I breathed in his face. My teeth ground together angry. He kissed me again and I let him, as I weakened under his hold. We were in between two buildings, like Dylan and I had been days ago unseen from the busy street among us. "I fucking hate you." I breathed out as he licked my neck squeezing my breast roughly, his other hand coming down cupping my heat through my panties. I moaned out loud as his lips came to mine again forcefully, then he moved his hand from my breast under my dress and grabbed my ass.

"I fucking love you." he said sternly. His two fingers entered me and my head hit the wall in ecstasy. He thrust them in and out of my quickly and I moaned his name against his mouth as I came a minute later. His forehead rested against mine as I breathed out coming down standing there realizing what just happened. He backed away and my face fell into my hands, a deep sob leaving my body. I looked up at him, his hands covered his face as the realization set in what we had done. He felt bad, there wasn't a smug smirk or a victory smile. My back against the wall I slid down it, wrapping my arms around my legs, my head on them I cried out loud for what I had done. Mark kneeled beside me.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry Bren." his voice filled with sorrow. "I'm sorry." he breathed again.

I looked up at him, tears brimming his eyes. "It's not all your fault." I said feeling badly, I continued, "I knew…when I woke up this morning, that fucking dream. The night you wrote that song…please don't sing that song…please." I begged looking into his emerald green eyes that seemed brighter from the tears.

He nodded quickly, "I won't. I promise I wont." he shook his head then. "What do we do now?"

I looked at him wiping my tears quickly, "We do nothing…we do nothing until I figure this out." I murmured. "He's going to leave me." My head fell on my arms again and I broke down. I was going to lose him, I was going to lose Dylan.

Mark was silent. He took a deep breath, "Maybe it isn't meant…" he stopped. I knew what he was going to say, that it wasn't meant to be. I looked into his eyes begging him not to continue. "I do love you Bren…it wouldn't be so bad with me, especially because you love me too."

"I do love you Mark…I do." his expression softened. "But I love Dylan more." I pulled myself up off the ground and grabbed my script and purse off the ground. "I have to talk to him."

I moved into the bright sun light and left Mark in that dark alley way alone and headed to rehearsal. I had fucked up and I knew it. I let my past emotions and lust ruin the best thing that had ever happened to me.

 _DPOV_

I exhaled as I listened to Tyler play the song he had wanted me to help him with. I had no intention of meeting Tyler this early but I couldn't stay in that bed and listen to Brenda make noises from her dream. At first I was turned on and was about to wake her up to make her dream a reality until I heard her whisper his name. Not just his name, his fucking nickname. My thoughts were not into this song at all.

" _Cause I was gonna be your forever_

 _You were gonna be my wife_

 _We didn't know any better_

 _Didn't have a clue about life_

 _But I was what you wanted you were what I needed_

 _And we could meet in between_

 _We were gonna be the greatest love story this town had ever seen."_

Tyler smiled at me happy with the chorus we had come up with. Tyler was going to propose to Angie, for real. With a song and a ring which he already had shown me. His smile faded as he looked at me.

"You don't like it?" he asked curiously.

"No." I shook my head and sighed, "It's great…it's a great song. Just got things on my mind." I looked down and played with the pencil in my hand.

Tyler moved his guitar to the side, "You wanna talk bout it?"

I looked at him, knowing Tyler and Mark were good friend. Best friends even. "Nah…it would be weird." I said truthfully.

"This bout Mark?" he gave me a knowing smile and I shrugged.

I took a deep breath, "Tell me about them…What were they like with one another."

Tyler swallowed hard, "I don't think that's what you really want to know."

I nodded, "I do."

"Why…why would you want to know how a relationship was between your girlfriend and an old boyfriend. What purpose does that have?"

I licked my lips thinking, "She dreamt about him last night."

His eyes widened as his elbows rested on his knee, "And how exactly do you know that? She told you?"

"She said his name." I swallowed hard feeling disgusted.

"Ah I see. So you assume she was dreaming about him, because she said his name?" Alright Tyler, smart ass.

"She was having a sex dream by the sound of it and she whispered his fucking name. More clear?" I pursed my lips together. "I want to know…what their relationship was like." I said stern.

Tyler cleared his throat, "Well…it was normal I guess."

I looked at him knowing he was fucking lying. "Tyler please just tell me. Nothing is going to make me feel worse then how I feel now."

Tyler sighed and leaned back on his couch. "I don't know Dylan…they were hot heavy. They fought big and they made up bigger. To be honest with you, it didn't seem like the healthiest relationship but where was I to judge? Angie and me weren't the poster children for healthy relationships, still ain't."

"Did she love him?"

"I don't know…she was really into him. He could do no wrong it seemed. Mark never admitted it out loud but he was in love with her. He pretended he wasn't, he would hook up with a random girl trying not to be, but he'd always come back to her, and she always took him back."

"Look I know you guys are friends, but you can tell him for me, I will not give up on her easily. If he is looking for a fight when it comes to her, he's got one."

Tyler shook his head, "Mark isn't a fighter…"

"Regardless." I interrupted him. "Brenda is my girl…I love her and she fucking loves me."

Tyler smiled and set his hand on my shoulder gripping it. "Well then…you have nothing to worry about right? Let's finished this song huh, Angie will be home from shoppin in an hour."

I took a deep breath watching him as he grabbed his guitar again.

"Tyler…" my voice warning.

"Dylan." he interrupted, "What do you want me to say? He has a weird hold on her and I'm sorry…she loves you, we all see it. She is emotionally connected to him in some weird way and…even if I were to talk to him, which I plan too, I don't know if it would matter." he swallowed hard, "I'm the last one that should be giving relationship advice and I know she is better off with you. I also know I have heard every sad song that he's written since we came back from the tour, I've seen him with Brenda and you. God I watched him fuck up every relationship she has ever had especially with that Ethan. I don't know what to tell you but talk to her. See where her mind is because…I know Mark, I know him better than myself. I saw him cheat on her, I saw them yell and fight and I heard them make up. He isn't the same guy he was back then and I haven't seen him sleep with any girl since we've been back in London. If you're wanting me to tell you, you have nothing to worry about, I can't do that and it wouldn't be fair to you if I did. Talk to her Dylan, I know she loves you more than anyone and anything."

I got up angrily, "Where does Mark live?"

Tyler got up and stood in my path, "No way man. Uh uh…not the answer."

"Tyler…I like you man… but move out of my way."

"Dylan…going over to Mark's flat will not solve your problem."

"He can't take her away from me…I wont let him." Anger and sadness filled my voice and I was thankful, I had seen this side of Tyler because my man card was fluttering.

His hand rested on my shoulder, "Then don't let him." he repeated my words.

I reached down, picking up my journal and opening it to a poem I had written days earlier. It was when I was in bed with Brenda, after a night of love making and talking. I watched her sleep and decided on my plan, my plan for our anniversary. I showed him the poem handing over my journal to him. His index finger and thumb touched his lips as he read. He looked at me and smiled.

"You need to teach me how to play guitar." I said to him seriously. "You have to help me turn that poem into a song and teach me how to play it, something easy 3 chords maybe…"

His smile grew, "Alright…deal…you help me finish this song for my Ang, and I will help you with your song, like mama used to say, All you need is 3 chords and the truth to write a song. I mean what's the purpose of a proposal in a song if you can't play it yourself." he grinned at me and after taking a deep breath, I grinned back. I was going to ask Brenda to marry me.

 _Dun Dun dunnnnnnnnnnn. Alright my little BD fans, I know some of you are so pissed at me right now. Look, she had a relationship with Mark and she was crazy about him. So crazy she stayed in London and ditched Dylan for this man. Please don't tell me its not believable that this would be a thing. It would and like I said don't fret. They have a very volatile thing. Its exciting, its heartbreaking its heated. But her and Dylan…are magic, she knows this. She let herself get caught up in the passion and emotion and she is regretting it. Mark also has to learn to back the f off too. He plays with her head and her heart and has for years. Now after all that tell me what your feeling. Brenda is a beautiful sexy woman, it's about time someone fought over her in my eyes. Maybe you don't agree but that's how I see this. Hit review and let me know what's going on in that head of yours besides wanting to throw things at me. ;) It's not all sunshine and roses in the next chapter though. So heads up. Have faith in me like you have faith in this couple. Yes Dylan's plan is a proposal, but it wont happen just yet. They got some things to work out. xoxox_


	30. Chapter 30

_Well…I didn't get many reviews with the last chapter, I must have really made you all mad lol. Here is the conclusion to this mess. I hope I make it up to you a little. Please forgive me for my process and ideas. Sometimes life is beautiful and sometimes it's not. It's how you handle the ugly that makes you the kind of person you are. A lesson learned and a closer connection can be a great reward from the pain. Enjoy!_

Chapter 30

 _The biggest risk a heart can take,_

 _A second chance, it's there to make._

 _Turned into three, there can't be four,_

 _Gone from your life, if it turns more._

 _I can't rule your life for you,_

 _The choice is yours, with what to do._

 _Though if it comes, please spare me this,_

 _Your love for me cannot exist._

 _Inside I have, but nothing left,_

 _In times of love, it feels like death._

 _It's taken more than I first knew,_

 _I had to give, my strength it's through._

 _I'm only human, man and boy,_

 _Don't treat me like I'm just a toy._

 _I hope from now, you'll think of me,_

 _Through distance, love, brutality._

 _One life we lead, to walk this land,_

 _At times it's hard, at times it's grand._

 _Mistakes we'll make, through them we grow,_

 _It's far too hard to see you go._

 _If you do care, then I believe,_

 _We'll make it through, this time to grieve._

 _And out the other side we'll go,_

 _Through, thick, through thin, through rain through snow._

 _The future comes, the past, forgot,_

 _Dishonesty, it starts to rot._

 _No lies be told, we start as new,_

 _From you to me, from me to you._

 _One year, it's down, though not through ease,_

 _Two more, we can, we must, I plead._

 _Please keep these thoughts so you can see,_

 _How much in life, you mean to me._

 _David_

I felt like I was walking slower than I should. Rehearsal was over 30 minutes ago and a 10 minute walk had literally turned into 30. I had to tell him, I didn't want or need another summer of '92. I just had to tell him, beg him and hope he would forgive me. I took a deep breath and walked down our hallway. I fiddled with the key but managed to stick it in the lock. I took a deep breath as tears filled my eyes again. I had been bawling like a crazy person since leaving the theater. Fuck…fuck…fuck…fuck…I pushed open the door and looked around. I imagined seeing Dylan sitting on the couch waiting for me but to my surprise he wasn't there. I looked in the kitchen, the bedroom, loft and bathrooms…no sign of Dylan. I sighed bringing myself to the kitchen. I opened up the refrigerator looking for something to eat but not having any sort of appetite. Instead I grabbed a opened bottle of Pinot Grigio and swigged from the bottle. I was the only one who drank it anyway. I wasn't classy enough for a glass. I was a piece of shit. I was a horrible person, I cheated on Dylan…again. What the fuck was wrong with me? Not only that, I had just called him a cheater and fought with him months before about Angie when I was getting into my character. Who was I to pass judgement? I opened the sliding glass door to our roof balcony. The cold London air hitting my face as I shivered. I didn't deserve to be warm…I didn't deserve a jacket, I didn't deserve Dylan. I carried my bottle over to the ledge and leaned my palms against it as I looked out at the theater district. I picked up the bottle from the ledge and swigged it again. I closed my eyes and thought about how amazing Dylan was. This past year had been the best thing that had ever happened to us. I looked out at the city again taking another long sip of the bottle.

"Rough day?" My eyes closed as I heard him behind me.

"Yeah." I said sadly.

"Me too." I heard him exhale.

I felt his arms circle me from behind. He hugged me tightly and kissed my neck.

"How was rehearsal?" he murmured.

"Fine…where have you been?" I knew my voice sounded shaky.

"A meeting…I wanted to do the same thing with a bottle today."

My lip quivered closing my eyes as a tear rolled down my cheek. I sniffed and I heard Dylan chuckle against my neck.

"You done feeling guilty yet?" I froze. Impossible.

I slowly turned to face him now, tears streaming down my face. My face showing one more emotion other than heartbreak and guilt…it was shock. His hand went to my face as me tilted his head looking at me.

"What?" I whispered scared at what he knew.

"I know you had a dream about Mark. I heard it this morning."

I dropped my face into my hands wishing that was all it was. I sob breaking out of me. Dylan brought his hands to my hands trying to look at me, "Stop being nice to me." I cried.

"Brenda…come on…it was just a dream. You can't help that kind of stuff."

"I hooked up with Mark." I blurted out looking at my feet. Dylan's hands dropped from me and silence filled the balcony, we heard the sound of people laughing from the street, cars whizzing by. I slowly lifted my head and saw his eyes. Hurt and anger looking back at me.

"When?" he said cold.

I swallowed hard, "Today."

He turned suddenly and stormed into the house and I followed him, "Dylan?" He started rummaging through the desk. "Dylan…please…talk to me. I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry." He opened up my address book, he was looking for something. "What are you doing?"

"Getting Mark's address." he jotted it down.

I rushed him, "No…no you don't…we need to talk about this. This doesn't have anything to do with him." I pleaded.

"Like hell it doesn't…Brenda…I'm done being nice. If he is going to kiss you again, he's going to hear it."

I took a deep breath, "It was kind of more than kissing." The look I got was half murderous and half shocked.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Third base?"

Dylan walked closer to me, "What's third base Bren?" he knew what fucking third base was and I wasn't going into detail. I guess when I put it that way…it hadn't sounded so terrible.

He exhaled disgusted and turned toward the door. I jumped in front of the door, spreading my arms across it. "Move." he said unrelenting.

"No…I want to talk to you…deal with this."

"Oh I'll deal with him…then you…MOVE." he yelled.

"No…please baby." I begged.

He turned away from me and paced the living room a few times, he sat on the couch and stared straight ahead. I moved closer to him slowly then my heart broke as it was his turn to lower his face in his hands. I sat next to him, my arm moving around him. He pulled away from me then his sad teary eyes met mine, "What is it with him Bren? Why does he have this hold on you?"

I stared back into his eyes and shook my head, "I don't know."

"Do you love him?"

"Not like that…I love you…baby…I love you so much." his face softened a little. "You know that…I've always loved you. I made a horrible mistake."

"How did this even happen?" he asked heartbroken. I had hurt him more than I had in the past.

I sighed, I had to be honest. "That dream…it came out of no where. It was just a song…and a night at his house. It came back and then I ran into him at the coffee shop, he brought up that song…and you know Mark…" Dylan was out of his seat now storming the front door before I even finished. I rubbed down my face. Shit. I came too an threw my hands up, getting up, grabbing my purse and went after him. This was ridiculous.

By the time I caught up with Dylan he was already in Mark's apartment. I heard his voice from down the hall.

"You son of a bitch. You couldn't just leave her alone." Dylan yelled.

I rounded the corner and stopped in Mark's doorway as Dylan had him up against the wall.

"Dylan…stop it."

"Brenda go home." he said without looking at me.

Dylan yelled with his teeth clenched together, he was pissed, "You wanted this…with the songs and inappropriate shit you've been doing, you've been waiting for this scene, you wanted the jealous boyfriend scene, well you got it fucker."

"Look dude Dylan…I'm sorry man." Mark yelled back, he tried to push him off.

"Dylan! Come on." I walked 4 steps closer and rested my hand on his shoulder, Mark tried to push him off again and Dylan slammed him against the wall.

Dylan looked at me, then at Mark, "What the fuck is going on with you two?"

"Nothing." Mark and I said at the same time.

I wiped my tears nervously, I didn't like violence, I didn't like confrontation and maybe every girls fantasy was for two guys to fight over her, it wasn't mine. This was childish and the testosterone was not sexy or a turn on.

"She is mine…she is my girlfriend…you had your chance." Dylan slammed him again as Mark tried to fight him off.

"You had your chance too." Mark yelled back.

"Stop it…stop it both of you." I screamed, tears running down my face. "I'm not liking either of you at this moment. Dylan let him go…can we talk about this like adults?"

Dylan slammed him one last time against the wall and let him go. Mark angrily straightened out his shirt, they both turned towards me. Suddenly I felt 2 feet tall. I swallowed hard and took a step back as they stared at me.

'Dylan…it was a mistake and I'm so sorry." I broke down.

"Damn right you should be sorry. I thought we'd grown out of this shit. I have been nothing but faithful to you since we got together here and this is how you treat me?"

"I know…"

"It was my fault Dylan…it was all my fault. I shouldn't have pushed. Brenda was uncomfortable she even hit me for god sakes. She told me to leave her alone, she loves you."

"She hit you? You hit him?" he turned his attention back to me.

I nodded, "I did."

Dylan took a step toward me, his eyes like a wild fire, "Did he force himself on you?"

"Hell no thats ridiculous." Mark shouted.

"No Dylan." I said quietly with a shake of my head, "It wasn't like that. I was confused." I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Right confused." Dylan shook his head and looked down.

"Dylan man…I know you don't like me…"

Dylan looked at him, "You're right I don't." He moved closer to him.

Mark's hands went up defensive, "I know…Look Dylan, I love Brenda…"

Dylan's fists clinched, "But she loves you, she doesn't want me and why would I fucking lie about that?"

Dylan looked at me and I tried to look deep in his soul to tell him with my eyes how much I loved him, how sorry I was about everything. He looked into them intensely. He looked down sadly breaking the moment.

"I'll be downstairs." Dylan murmured and walked out the front door.

I looked at Mark, "Thank you, you didn't have to take the blame for this."

"It was my fault Bren…It's always been my fault. I saw you were teetering and I used it to my advantage." He looked at the ceiling. "I don't mean to play with your head…I never meant too just this…" His hand moved between us, "Scared the fuck out me…and now that I feel like I know how to love you…it's too late." he said sadly.

"Thank you." I rushed him and hugged him tightly and pulled away.

Mark sadly nodded pretending he didn't wipe a stray tear that fell from his eyes.

"I'm gonna go." I gestured toward the door.

Mark nodded, "Brenda?" he called out.

I turned around, "You know this means I'm just going to have more to write about…some of the best songs are about heartbreak." He smirked his trademark sexy smirk at me and I smiled back and nodded.

"You're still an Angel."

I laughed a little and exhaled, "I don't think I am pretty, far from it. I don't think Dylan thinks I am." my smile faded.

He playfully rolled his eyes and sighed, "Yeah he does Bren…that guy thinks you have a halo and wings. I do want you to be happy, I just wanted to be the one to make you that way, I hope he does."

"He really does."

"Bye Bren." he said sadly.

I smiled a sad smile, "Bye Marky." I left the apartment closing the front door in search of Dylan. I don't know what I felt about Mark, but this feeling I felt now felt a lot like closure and it felt good.

DPOV

I looked up at the stars taking a deep breath. My mind was a million places. My first thought was that I wanted to run. I wanted to high tail who knows where. That's what I did best when things got to be too much but the truth was, I didn't want to lose her. I couldn't look at her, I was angry but I didn't want to break up. I looked up as I heard footsteps and then the front door of the apartment building open. Brenda looked back at me, seriously, apologetic. We walked back to our apartment in silence and when we got into the living room I sat on the couch, leaning my elbows on my knees.

"Dylan…I'm so sorry." I looked over at Brenda who was standing nervously by the couch.

"You know Bren…I'm really starting to hate that word."

"I know…I'm sorry." she said tearfully.

I got up quickly, "Stop saying that." I raised my voice. I looked at her and my heart broke as tears fell from her eyes.

"Please…Dylan…please don't leave me, I don't want anyone but you." she begged bawling now. I tilted my head and looked at her.

"Oh Bren." I breathed out. She rushed me and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. Slowly I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her while she cried.

"I don't want to lose you…not again." she said sadly.

I closed my eyes I didn't want to either, "I'm gonna go to bed." I pulled away from her, walking toward the bedroom.

"Please Dylan…talk to me." I closed my eyes and breathed out turning back towards her.

"You let him touch you, kiss you." My voice broke. I swallowed hard not wanting to say anything I was going to regret, "Just give me some time Brenda…give me some time to sort this out."

Her lip quivered and she nodded quickly. The last thing I saw was Brenda sit on the couch and become a crumbling mess. I couldn't see it because it made me feel like I had done something wrong and it hurt me to see her so upset. I had dozed off for a few hours and for a moment I had forgotten about what had happened. I reached for her only to find her side empty. Then it came back to me. I have to admit I was more hurt towards Brenda, I wasn't angry, I had been angry at Mark. I saw first hand how that guy works. I knew he was trying to take the blame on everything and part of me believed it because I had seen his tactics. He knew how to get under her skin in a good way and I hated it. He knew exactly how to play her insecurities, he was good at it even. I couldn't blame her for falling into it. There was a small part of me that felt like I should make Brenda suffer a little for what she had done but that part of me was so small, I blamed Mark. I blamed myself even. I wasn't going to break up with her, I couldn't leave her. I wasn't going to lose her again, not after everything. I sat there and wrote from my heart. I knew I had to face this because if we didn't deal with this head on it would eat at both of us and this is something that could cause distance and eventually possibly ruin us. I also was well aware I had hurt Brenda in the past too and she had always forgiven me. I clutched my journal to my chest as I made my way into the living room. She was sleeping on her side in the fetal position she looked freezing. I knelt down and looked at her pretty face. I smiled moving a piece of hair from her face. Her eye lids slightly swollen from crying. I loved this girl so much could I really blame some idiot feeling the same? Brenda had saved me so many times before and when I came here I was a mess. I thought London had been my savior, taking me away from the mundane shit back home also my demons and bad memories. It was London but it was Brenda being here in London and me being with her that made me who I am today. I touched her arm, she was freezing. I grabbed the blanket from behind the couch and spread it over her. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Hey." I whispered.

Her sad face killed me, "Hey" she whispered back.

"You didn't come to bed…you're freezing." I rubbed down her arm to warm her up.

"I didn't think I deserved to be warm in bed with you. I didn't think you wanted me there." she said quietly.

I cupped her face, "Brenda…" I took a deep breath. "We have to stop doing this to each other." She scooted to a sitting position and I sat beside her. "I wrote you something. I couldn't sleep much and this kind of poured out of me." I opened the page to the poem I had written and handed it to her. She began reading it out loud and I watched her gorgeous face take it in.

" _This is my life_

 _Its not what it was before_

 _All these feelings I've shared_

 _And these are my dreams_

 _That I'd never lived before_

 _Somebody shake me 'Cause I must be sleeping_

 _These are my words_

 _That I've never said before_

 _I think I'm doing okay_

 _And this is the smile_

 _That I've never shown before_

 _Somebody shake me 'cause I must be sleeping_

 _I'm so afraid of waking_

 _Please don't shake me_

 _Afraid of waking_

 _Please don't shake me_

 _Now that we're here, so far away_

 _All the struggle we thought was in vain_

 _All the mistakes, One life contained_

 _They all finally start to go away_

 _Now that we're here so far away_

 _And I feel like I can face the day, and I can forgive_

 _And I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today."_

Brenda wiped her tears slowly.

"That's so perfect…beautiful." she whispered.

I leaned my forehead against hers and sighed. "I've changed since I came here. I've grown up…we both have. I want to continue to build our life here, but I need to know you feel the same. I need to be able to trust you, we need to be able to trust each other, you've always been honest with me, I appreciate it, even when it hurts."

She backed away and looked deep into my eyes. "I trust you."

I smiled a sad smile, "I know baby…and ironically enough I trust you too. We've hurt each other a lot over the years and we still care about each other…it says a lot, I refuse to run away from this."

Brenda nodded sadly and I gently brought my lips to hers. I breathed out as I kissed her sensually.

I sighed, "I love you." I whispered against her lips.

"I love you…so much." She kissed me again. I took her in my arms and laid us on the couch. Cuddling face to face. We kissed a lot and enjoyed being close to one another. Eventually we fell into a deep sleep in each others arms. We didn't have make up sex, we talked, we made up and all these mistakes we had made seemed to drift away that night. I may never be okay with Brenda's relationship with Mark and I may not completely understand it. I did know that back in high school I broke her and coming here to London and meeting Mark must have helped her a little. I couldn't help but feel guilty the hold he had on her may be my fault some how. We'd be okay…this was the woman I wanted to spend my life with. We would learn and grow from this. We weren't perfect…but we were pretty damn perfect together. We were learning new things about each other everyday and I was proud of myself for not running away from the ugly, I finally realized when you stay and face it, it's actually quite beautiful.

 _So people…how was that? Dylan isn't one to hold grudges I don't think. He is happy with his place here and he knows Brenda loves him. Hit review this time…make it up to me from the lack of reviews last chapter. lol_


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

 _Trois allumettes une à_ _une allum_ _é_ _es dans la nuit_

 _La premi_ _é_ _re pour voir ton visage tout entier_

 _La seconde pour voir tes yeux_

 _La dernière pour voir ta bouche_

 _Et l'obscurit_ _è_ _tout entière pour me rappeler tout cela_

 _En te serrant dans mes bras._

 _Translation:_

 _Three matches one by one struck in the night_

 _The first to see your face in its entirety_

 _The second to see your eyes_

 _The last to see your mouth_

 _And the darkness all around to remind me of all these_

 _As I hold you in my arms._

I stood in the door way and watched her while she slept. She looked so peaceful and angelic. Things had taken its toll on me and Bren over the last couple weeks. I had been distant and she had been quiet. I know it was because of the Mark mess. She was still feeling guilty and overcompensating, at least in the beginning but I saw what she was doing. I had forgiven her, I had, I loved her more than ever before and I didn't want to be without her but I also know she was being over nice and doing things for me because she was trying to make it up to me and that made me think about it more. When Brenda said third base, at first I wanted her to tell me. Tell me what she considered third base and she thankfully had spared me the details. I was a man, I knew what they did hearing those words. It meant that he touched her. He touched her where I touched her and it was hard not to dwell on it. When she was home she was doting on me. We must have had dinner together every chance she got to cook but she was at rehearsal a hell of a lot more too. I think that's why things had been weird between us. We hadn't had time to connect and truly lose ourselves in each other and make up. Yes we went through the motions but the intimacy was missing and we hadn't had sex in 2 weeks which was troublesome for us. Our anniversary was coming up and we were no where near what I had planned. I bought a ring that day I was at Tyler's. A princess cut 2.06 carat diamond, with a vintage paved setting, it cost me almost $20,000 and the ring itself totaled at 2.47 carats. It was over the top, I knew it was but for Brenda I would spend any amount of money to make her mine forever. I knew she would hate it but secretly love it at the same time. The ring had a old feel to the design and had character, I couldn't help myself. I had the money and I didn't get to go crazy with my first marriage, I wanted to do this right. Tyler and I had worked on my song and he started showing me some easy chords on the guitar. Playing guitar was just as hard as I remembered it to be and acoustic guitar was even harder. In the short stint I had played around with the instrument it had been electric and it seemed easier. Tyler said electric guitar were easier to learn on but that wasn't the type of song I had written. Since Brenda was at rehearsal so often I was able to practice. Tyler had given me an old Martin to use and I had hid it in the loft closet. I figured if Brenda found it she would assume maybe Angie had left it here. The timing seemed off right now though, the ring sat in my suit pocket in the closet since coming home that shit night and finding out about Brenda and Mark.

I watched her as she slept. She had gotten home the night before at 2 in the morning. This new director was intense she had said and he kept them late most nights. I didn't like this, it felt different, off. I took a deep breath and walked to my side of the bed. After looking down at Brenda for a full minute I crawled into bed. As I lay on my side with her at arms reach I took in the back of her. Her shiny dark brown hair almost black these days, her ivory skin, soft and smooth looking. She was in a tank top and pajama shorts and I stared at the three beauty marks she had on her shoulder. My hand went up to trace them but then I stopped myself. It was different now and I didn't know how to make it better. Brenda let out a small sigh. She whispered "Dylan." At first I thought she was awake but she wasn't at all. She sighed again and let out a whimper, she was dreaming. "Please…please come back to me." she murmured. My heart broke and in that instance I scooted closer to her. I wrapped my arms tightly around her spooning her from behind.

I felt her tense up in my arms, "Bren…I'm right here." I whispered back to her as I kissed the back of her head.

Without her looking at me still facing away she murmured, "You feel so far away." she was awake now. "I don't know how to fix this."

"Bren." I breathed out, "I know it feels like that but I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." I reassured her as I tightened my arms around her. She turned in my arms to face me. Her eyes imploring mine with apologies. I leaned in and softly kissed her. I closed my eye resting my forehead against hers. "I love you." I whispered.

"I love you." she whispered back.

I leaned out from her and stared into her eyes, "Come on." I smirked having an idea.

I pulled away sitting up to get out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she said almost sadly.

"Come on get up, pack a bag." I got out of bed as she sat up. Still sleepy from her late night.

"Pack a bag? Where are we going?" she looked at me confused.

"You'll see…get up." I went to find my own small duffel bag pulling out one for her as well. She sat here looking at me curiously.I stopped and looked at her and gave her a smile. "Brenda…come on…you have the weekend off, let's go somewhere."

She sighed obviously still tired and dragged herself out of bed. I threw the duffel to her across the mattress and started packing my own. She obeyed for once in her life and started packing quietly. She kept looking at me every so often and I would just give her a tight smile. I knew what was going on in that pretty head of hers. She was wondering what I had planned, she was dying to ask but I think she knew me well enough to know I wasn't going to tell her. It took us 35 minutes to pack our bags for the weekend and we were catching a cab to London St Pancras Int'l. When we got to the station she stood close to me as I waited to buy our tickets.

"Two premier tickets for the 11:31 to Paris Gare Du Nord with a return on Sunday please." I told the lady at the window passing her my card, Brenda gasped.

"Dylan…Paris?" she whispered and looked at me.

The women passed the tickets across the desk and retuned my bank card.

"Yeah…it's only a 2 hour ride on the Eurostar. I've dreamed of taking you there some day." I gave her a smile and held out my hand. "Shall we Miss Walsh?" She took my hand tenderly with a cute nod and I led her to the train.

I hadn't been on the Eurostar it was a new train that had only been running a couple of years. It was a luxury train that serviced its passengers from London to Paris or London to Brussels and back again. It was nice, better than the trains I had been on in Europe. We were served food and champagne, which Brenda drank. It was really romantic and I was happy Brenda happened to have a couple days off from rehearsal for us to reconnect. She held my hand almost the entire two hours and we shared intimate kisses throughout the ride. We whispered sweet sentiments in French and we honestly could have been the only ones on that train from what felt. Everybody around us disappeared. I was finally taking Brenda to Paris. We had both been here but never together. It was something I always wanted to share with her and I was happy it was such an easy trip to do living in London. Brenda and I needed some alone time, a chance to reconnect and Paris was the perfect place to do so. I fell in love with her when we were together all those years ago, then fell deeper in love with her in the years we were apart. It was time to put the past behind us once and for all. Brenda was my family, she always had been and would always be.

We arrived in Paris about 1:37 in the afternoon. I decided in the cab I was going to take her to one of my favorite hotels. I had been with my parents when I was 5 years old. I year before Jack and Iris split up. It was a happier time then. Then later I had visited with my dad in my early teen years. It originally was the private residence of Roland Napoléon Bonaparte and now the Shangri-La Paris was an amazing hotel that overlooked the Seine and the Eiffel Tower. Brenda was quiet throughout the cab ride and even more quiet when we got to the hotel. I booked us the best suite they had there that had a huge rooftop balcony. I would steal glances at her every now and then, she looked excited to be here with me. I didn't think Brenda's trip to Paris with Donna had been anything close to this. We went to a romantic dinner at L'Oiseau Blanc a couple hours later. It had an amazing view with candle lit ambiance. I was pulling out all the stops this trip. I didn't care how much shit cost or how over the top I was being. She didn't mention anything. I knew Brenda liked nice things but she was practical. She wasn't the Beverly Hills princess I had grown up around. She deserved to be showered with luxury and I was going to try my best to do so. We shared an amazing cheese platter for starters, I had the a steak that was perfection and Brenda had a fish dish that melted in your mouth. We shared and tasted each others food, it was amazing. Brenda drank a lot of wine, and I laughed at her giggling tipsy self. She was letting go and it had been a while since I seen this side of her. We made eyes at each other throughout dinner and held hands as we walked back to the hotel. Music rang loudly as we passed a quant little bar. Holding her hand tightly I glanced inside to see a dimly lit pub, that had a jazz lounge singer singing the blues. People laughed, talked and danced. I glanced at Brenda, raised my eyebrows and smirked. She read my mind and gave me a single nod and we made our way into the pub. We grabbed a small little table and Brenda ordered a cocktail and club soda with lime for me. We listened to the singer, as she closed her eyes and sang about heartbreak and missing her love in French. Brenda looked at me, she gently touched my hand on the table, caressing it lightly. She picked it up and brought it to her lips. She kissed it and rubbed the back of my hand on her cheek. She felt so guilty. I didn't like seeing her like this. My index finger came to her chin as I raised her face to mine. Leaning in I took her soft lips, kissing her gently.

"Voulez-vous danser avec moi?" I said softly as the song changed asking her to dance with me.

She smiled, "J'adorerais aussi." she agreed.

My hand clasped hers as we got up and made our way to the dance floor. My arms encircled around her waist, her arms wrapping around my neck. We danced close and I swayed us back and forth to the song. I whispered I love you about a dozen times it seemed but she didn't seem to be bothered by it. Always looking deep into my eyes and answering it back. We danced for hours as the songs picked up. We swing danced, I lifted her up and twirled her around. It was like it always was with us. We got lost in each other as usual. I hadn't heard Brenda laugh like this in what seemed like forever and I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face. It was true Brenda and Dylan tradition to dance all night and have fun and we didn't disappoint. Before we knew it, it was almost dawn. We laughed to ourselves thinking only we would get so lost in the night that it was almost morning. We didn't talk much on the walk back to the hotel. We strolled across the Pont Alexandre III bridge just as the sun was coming up. It was Brenda who stopped at the top and rested her arms on the wall of the bridge and looked out. The city felt vacant this early in the day and for once Paris was quiet. We looked over the Seine silently and took in the city, now lighting up in a hue of yellow. The lamps still on not being bright enough to let them know it's day.

"When I came here in that summer before our senior year, I'd wake up early in the morning like this. I'd come here and look up at the moon get lost in the morning light. I'd be thinking about you, half way around the world, wondering if you were somewhere on the beach looking up at the same moon."

I smiled remembering her telling me this before, when she first had came back to Beverly Hills. "I was." I repeated myself turning towards her as I leaned on the railing of the bridges wall. She kept her attention out on the Seine. "You were wondering if someone else was in my arms, I don't think I ever told you how truly sorry I was about that summer." she sighed remermebering. "When you first moved to London. I went down to Baja and after drowning myself in a dozen beers I'd sit on the beach looking out into the surf and think about my shitty life and what it had become. I remembered our happy times and our trip to Baja and how much better I was as a person when I was with you." She turned to face me then so I continued, "We've been through so much together. It seems our roles reversed a little huh?" I took a deep breath and she looked down as we both thought about her cheating with Mark.

"I'm sor.." I interrupted her by placing my index finger to her lips and took a step closer to her.

"Don't." I whispered, "I forgive you." I looked deep into her eyes.

I saw her visibly swallow hard, "Thank you." she whispered and closed her eyes, a single tear rolled down her cheek. My thumb wiped it away and I smiled down at her as her eyes met mine.

"I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. We've both made mistakes and I think its time we left the past behind us, don't you?"

She nodded, "Yes…it's time." she whispered.

"So…thinking back one last time on that summer, you asked me something on the beach, you asked me if I was ready to start our senior year together, you and me. Do you remember?"

She smiled, "Yeah I remember." she laughed a little. "You told me welcome home and we made out for 20 minutes on the beach."

I laughed remembering, "Sometimes I wish we could do everything all over again."

"What would you change?" she asked with a smirk.

"Everything….nothing." we both laughed knowing if it got us to this place, how could we change it. "Well." my hand went into the inside of my suit jacket. Not realizing until this moment how heavy that little box felt in the jacket now. I hadn't meant to bring it, but in the rush to pack and grabbing my suit it seemed it was meant to be. I gripped it and brought it out holding it tightly in my hand, "I wanted to do this differently, I had a plan but it seemed like this might me the moment that I couldn't have planned better if I tried." I knelt down on one knee, the sky lighting up in pinks and yellows as the sun continued to rise. Brenda looked at my curiously and after a second realization dawned on her. She gasped, "Bren…I have loved you for the last 6 years. I feel like we have grown up together. Living with you here in Europe has truly shown me I can't and don't want to live without you." I opened the little black velvet box, the ring sparkling in the early morning light, Brenda's fingers came to her mouth shocked as tears filled her eyes, "Are you ready to spend the rest of our lives together, you and me?" I quoted her.

"Dylan." she whispered, her eyes searching mine silently asking if I was sure. I gave her my trade mark smile and raised one eyebrow. She nodded quickly, "Yes. Oh my god yes." she said the second part a little louder with a laugh. I smiled back at her. She bent down taking my lips to hers. Her tongue grazed mine softly and I deepened the kiss. She bent back up and I took that moment to take the ring out of the box setting it in my pocket as I grabbed her left hand. I slide the ring onto her finger and kissed her hand tenderly. She looked down at the ring admiring it as I got off my knee.

"Dylan…it's beautiful, it's too much." she smiled, "But I love it." Do I know my Bren or do I know my Bren.

My arms snaked around her waist as we both looked down at the ring, my ring that was now on her finger. I had done this before, but it wasn't like this. It wasn't like it was suppose to be. Right now at this moment felt so right. "It's not too much, you deserve the best of everything. The best ring for my best girl." Her hand came to the side of my face as she kissed me again. Things headed into a heated direction soon after and I knew it was time to head back to the hotel.

We didn't talk much on our way back. It was bright morning now but neither of us seemed tired. We made our way into the room and ordered champagne and breakfast. Both of us getting into the robes the hotel offered to wait for it to come. Being so early it arrived 30 minutes or so after and we had them set it up on the rooftop balcony so we could eat and look over at the view. I poured both of us a glass of champagne. I knew I wasn't suppose to be drinking it but I felt fine and Brenda didn't even think twice when I poured both glasses. I wanted to celebrate with a toast, not get drunk, I think Brenda knew this. I raised my glass to her, "To you and me."

She smiled and clicked her glass with mine. "You and me…for always."

We both took a sip and I set mine down to look out and take in Paris. Brenda held her champagne glass as she got off her chair and moved towards me. She lowered herself to my lap and joined me enjoying the view before us. I looked at the side of her face now close to mine. She took another sip of her flute. "I love Paris." she whispered.

"I love you in Paris." I stared at her pretty face. She turned then, her eyes meeting mine.

"Paris will most definitely have a different memory for me." she smiled.

I smirked and nodded, "Me too."

I took her flute and placed it on the table, she looked at me lovingly. "Vous êtes si belle." I whispered.

"Merci, vous aussi. À l'intérieur et à l'extérieur." her hand caressed my cheek. I told her you're so beautiful and she answered, thank you, so are you. Inside and out.

"Fais-moi l'amour?" I whispered bringing my nose to touch hers. She closed her eyes and smiled.

"Je suis à toi ... toujours." she answered, I smiled loving the fact we both spoke perfect French. My fingers went to her robe, taking the tie gently and opening it up. I slowly moved the robe off her shoulders, her naked body exposed to me. My arm ran under her legs picking her up bridal style, the robe falling to my feet as I got up. She laughed as I carried her into our suite and to our bedroom. I gently laid her down on the bed and took in her gorgeous figure. This was the woman I was destined to be with. I leaned over her and kissed down her neck, hearing the sexy whimpers I had missed so much over the past couple weeks. I took my time memorizing every inch of her body. Sucking her hard nipples into my mouth and licking her core till she was almost over the edge. I knew I was torturing her but she didn't push. She knew I wanted to worship her and take my time loving her. I looked down into her eyes. Her lips red and swollen from our kisses.

"Mrs. Brenda Walsh McKay." I murmured, liking the sound of that.

She lightly giggled and shook her head, "Mrs. Brenda Mckay." she took her maiden name out. Something I thought she would keep because of her acting.

I chuckled, secretly liking it a whole lot better. "Je t'aime" I kissed her gently.

"Je t'aime aussi." she whispered against my lips.

I slid into her then and stilled feeling the warm wet tightness enclose me, I breathed out and closed my eyes, it felt too good to rush. It had been too long since I was inside her. This was home, Brenda was my home. I moaned out as I slid out of her and back into her. She responded with a sexy moan sigh of her own. Telling me she was thinking the same thing. I rested on my elbows to get closer to her. To feel every inch of her against me. I gently rocked back and forth, in and out until I found a rhythm that wasn't going to have me explode prematurely. I kissed her deeply as we made love. She met my thrusts and moaned out in ecstasy. I could stay this way forever, inside of her, making love to her, making her moan out in pleasure.

"You feel so perfect, we are so good together." I uttered. My eyes closed now trying not to cum on the spot.

She hummed in agreement and I sped my thrusts a little feeding off her noises. She grunted a sexy noise, "Keep going. Baise-moi." she moaned and that was all it took. I brought myself to my knees getting better leverage and plowed into her over and over as my head fell back.

"Dylan." she moaned out as my pace never waned. I opened my eyes looking down at her as her eyes met mine. At that moment I felt her tighten around me as she came, her legs trembling as I pumped in and out of her. I fell apart at the moment cumming with her. I faintly heard her moan loudly but my moan over powered here as I pumped one last time as I spilled inside her, quivering with my release. I breathed out, as the intensity of that single orgasm had made me physically unable to speak or move. Pulling gently out of her I lowered myself next to her and breathed out trying to find myself again. She curled into me, cuddling close, her head on my chest.

"Let's not go that long again." she whispered.

I chuckled, "God no…that would be a sin." I joked.

She sighed a happy satisfied sigh and looked up at me. I returned my gaze. "So we're really getting married huh?" she asked seriously.

"It looks this way." I joked still high from our love making.

"Hmm." she hummed resting her head on my chest again, she lifted her hand looking at her ring, admiring the way it sparkled in the sunlight. I felt her laugh against my chest and it caused me to down at her curiously. "I fucking love Paris." she said in laugher. I chuckled and joined her. I scooted lower and turned so we were laying face to face. I kissed her gently.

"I can't believe were getting married, are you sure you're ready for this?" she whispered in between kisses.

"Baby…I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life. We belong together."

She nodded and kissed me deeply again. "My husband." she murmured.

"My wife." I whispered back.

Paris was a fanfuckingtasic idea. I would sing her my song, once I got it down a little better, I didn't throw my old plan out the window entirely. I had to change some lyrics though now that the proposal had happened already but this time and this place was more perfect than I had ever dreamed. Brenda Walsh and I were engaged. It was about fucking time we got this right.

 _I'm soooooooooooooo sorry for the delay. I was on vacation for a week and a half after I first started this chapter. Thinking I was gonna work on it there, well in Hawaii I didn't even think about it. So here I am back and back to real life. I hope you loved it as much as I did. I have a plan for how this fic will go so hopefully it will move through as it was before. Brenda and Dylan are getting married. As you can see this fic will NOT follow the actual show. Sorry hell NO to the season 9 bullshit. But it will not jump head either. I hope you enjoyed it now its time to hit that review button and tell me how much!_


	32. Chapter 32

_Chapter 32_

 _To love is to share life together_

 _to build special plans just for two_

 _to work side by side_

 _and then smile with pride_

 _as one by one, dreams all come true._

 _To love is to help and encourage_

 _with smiles and sincere words of praise_

 _to take time to share_

 _to listen and care_

 _in tender, affectionate ways._

 _To love is to have someone special_

 _one who you can always depend_

 _to be there through the years_

 _sharing laughter and tears_

 _as a partner, a lover, a friend._

 _To love is to make special memories_

 _of moments you love to recall_

 _of all the good things_

 _that sharing life brings_

 _love is the greatest of all._

 _I've learned the full meaning_

 _of sharing and caring_

 _and having my dreams all come true;_

 _I've learned the full meaning_

 _of being in love_

 _by being and loving with you._

Paris was simply amazing. Dylan and I had done and saw everything. Even though it wasn't our first time seeing the sights it was our first time experiencing them together. I had never been in a city so full of life and crowds and noise and felt like the only ones there. Dylan proposed to me. I couldn't believe it! And in Paris! Dylan and I didn't have the best memories of Paris at least when it came to our relationship but it was the perfect place to make this right. Paris had been the end of Dylan and me and now it was our beginning. Not only had I dreamed of this moment I also never really knew if it would actually happen. Especially after what had happened between us these past couple months. I knew Dylan had been trying and I probably was trying too hard to make things right but I couldn't help it. I wanted things to be the way they were and after Paris I knew it was. Dylan and I hadn't talked about dates and I was in no hurry to marry him. I was wearing his ring and I had the confirmation I had always wanted that Dylan was choosing me…finally! My ring was gorgeous, way over the top but the vintage feel of it was so pretty I couldn't be angry at him for spending the money. Sometimes I forgot Dylan was a millionaire, we lived so normally. Then he would do things like this and I would remember that Dylan grew up a very different way then me. I had a rock at 21 years old and it was taken a little while to get used to. People stared at it at rehearsal, girls grabbed my hand in awe, not that I didn't like the attention, I just wasn't used to it. After the 25th time of people telling me how amazing it was, I looked past the size and truly appreciated the beauty in it, even though I had secretly loved it the moment I saw it. As far as wedding planning goes, I was going to be pretty busy with the play and we hadn't broken the news to our parents or anyone for that matter back home. We had been hibernating pretty much since we got back from Paris and after celebrating our anniversary we hadn't even told our friends here in London. It was our time, our time to make up, to talk about the future and enjoy being together after all the craziness. It had been a few week since Paris and Dylan and I reluctantly agreed to go to a show tonight. I opposed more than Dylan, thinking Mark was the very last person I wanted to see after that dreadful dream and day but Dylan said it was important to Tyler we all be there so he won the battle. I mean if Dylan was okay with seeing the band and Mark then I should be too. It didn't take away my dread or nervousness about it though.

I brushed through me hair eyeing myself in the mirror. The show was at the pub close to home and Dylan and I had planned on walking and meeting the gang at 8 o'clock, it was country night, so of course our Texas friends were playing. I stood in front of the mirror in my bra and panties putting my face on and trying to do something with my hair, I hadn't even thought about what to wear, I did have an old pair of cowboy boots somewhere. I noticed Dylan staring at me from the bedroom doorway through the mirror. The look of pure lust on his face. I still couldn't get used to the idea that man was all mine and that look would never get old.

"You gonna stand there gawking at me?" I smirked as I set down my brush.

His hands went into the pocket of his jeans as he continued to stare, "Yeah…I think I am." he said seriously.

I laughed as the butterflies in my stomach fluttered around, nope that would never get old. My gaze went back to myself. My hair half up half down, I brushed through the ends with my fingers, "You sure you don't want to stay in tonight?" I sighed. He moved closer to me. I really didn't want to see Mark. I didn't want to see Dylan and Mark in the same room ever again.

"Brenda." his voice stern, father like. I moved so fast I caught him off guard. My arms wrapped around his neck roughly and we tumbled on the bed with a bounce. I kissed him fiercely.

"Uh uh…I know what your doing." my lips now attacking his neck as he spoke. "Your vixen seduction has no power here."

I raised my head to look at him and smirked, "No?"

"Nope." he shook his head, popping the "p".

My hand trailed down his chest and to the button if his jeans. "No?" I asked again.

He chuckled, "Nope." he repeated.

My fingers flicked his button open in an instant and my hand reached down his pants roughly as I grabbed his semi hard member in my hand tightly. "Feels like it has some power."

"Brenda." he warned.

my hand gripped tighter, I moved it down and back up stroking him.

"Uhhhh." he groaned closing his eyes as I felt him become unbearably hard underneath my touch.

He didn't stop me. He laid with his eyes closed enjoying the work of my hand. I scooted lower, freeing him for a moment so I could work his jeans lower. He was about to stop me when my mouth wrapped around his head taking him into my mouth. "You don't play fair." he whispered.

I worked him quickly as he moaned out. Hell no I didn't play fair. I knew Dylan well enough to know he wasn't going to say no to a blow job.

"Mmmmm." I released him, "I say my vixen seduction is as powerful as ever." I brought my mouth to him again. My eyes looked up at him as he stared down at me. A slow smile spread across his beautiful face.

"Come on you she-devil…were gonna be late." he shimmied out from under me. I huffed and dramatically plopped in his spot on the bed, my face buried in the sheets. After a moment I looked at him, Dylan laughed out loud as he tucked his erected gorgeous shaft into his jeans and started buttoning back up his pants.

"You seriously would rather go to the pub then get head from your amazing fiancé?" my tone half hurt half flirty.

Dylan kept his smile and shook his head, "No…I would much rather ravish you all night long." he sat on the bed, his hand stroking my thigh, "I'd have you screaming my name in no time."

I sat up quickly and held out my hand, "Then whats the problem? I don't feel like going." I pouted, "Let's stay in."

"Brenda…you don't want to see Mark that is why you don't want to go. Come on, finish getting dressed." his hands pushed back his hair and he stood up. "Come on our friends don't even know we are engaged. Let's get out of this apartment for a little while." He moved to the dresser mirror and began fixing his already perfect hair. "Tyler has something planned."

I sighed loudly, Dylan's eyes meeting mine in the mirror. I looked down. I felt the bed shift besides me. His hand coming up to my head. I looked at him sadly, "Baby…what are you afraid of? We're fine. We're getting married, let's go celebrate with our friends." He leaned in and kissed me softly.

I nodded and sighed again. He gripped my neck gently and kissed me harder. Before I knew it Dylan was inside of me, making love to me softly, kissing me, caressing me and sending me over the edge. I had gotten my way after all…but not really because we were still going.

We were late. Sorry so not sorry. I could have sex with my future husband everyday and never get tired of him. After all these years Dylan knew exactly how to make me come undone in record time these days. I still felt the butterflies in my belly, the ache between my thighs when he was near me. I hoped that never would go away. We walked into the pub, it was busier than normal. Tyler and Angie were getting married. They had gotten engaged a few weeks back at one of the bands shows. Laura had told me about it, it sounded romantic and sweet but with my busy schedule and the drama with Mark and Dylan, we had not gone to that show. Dylan hadn't gotten into what exactly Tyler had planned and I assumed it was some sort of engagement get together. I noticed our friends right away. They had taken over our usual table by the stage. They were decked out in rhinestones, cowboy boots and flannels. We weren't in London anymore toto.

"Brenda darling…you look lovely. I miss your ass." Laura gave me a tight squeeze.

"Hi Dylan." she let go of me and properly greeted him.

"Hey Laura…where's Eric and Ethan?" Dylan asked looking around.

"Those tossers are around somewhere. Ethan was chatting with a grotty blonde last I saw him."

I laughed out loud…I missed Laura. Dylan chuckled getting the lingo the more he lived here. We knew Laura well enough to know Ethan was probably trying to get into some skanky girls panties, we didn't have to know the slang to guess anyway.

"Y'all…finally! How've you been?" Angie drawled noticing us.

"Let me see." I grabbed Angie's left hand and did the girl thing and checked out her ring. It was small but beautiful. "Oh Angie." I breathed. "It's beautiful."

I looked at my sweet friends blue eyes, she smiled, bouncing slightly, "I know…and thank you. I love it. You HAVE to be a bridesmaid. Please say you will?"

My smile grew big, "Of course! I'd be honored." Angie hugged me tightly. As both my hands rubbed down Angie's back in the hug. Laura grabbed my left hand.

"Oh my god." she gasped. "Brenda…it's huge."

I leaned away from Angie and all of a sudden to my dread all attention was on me. Angie grabbed hold of my hand also.

"Holy crap! Brenda?" both their eyes staring into mine.

I gave them a tight smile as I heard Dylan chuckle, his hand rubbed the small of my back.

"Are you…are you and Dylan engaged?" Laura questioned.

I nodded, "Yeah." I said simply.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Laura said hurt.

"Guys…were here for Angie, I would have told you. It just happened a few weeks ago."

"A few weeks?" Angie said high pitch. Then she looked at Dylan.

Laura huffed and crossed her arms, "A few bloody weeks?"

"I'm sorry…it wasn't on purpose. We just were enjoying…"

A wide smile spread across both their faces, they understood. "Ok ok you don't have to gloat. We get it you have been shagging for three weeks straight." Dylan chuckled again and I smiled looking down.

"I'm so happy for you guys." Angie bounced and hugged both of us. "Congratulations."

"You want a drink?" Dylan whispered into my ear. I nodded and he was off to the bar leaving me to girl talk.

"I didn't want to take away from your day. I mean were here because of you right."

Angie looked oddly at me, "Wait what?" shit!

I changed the subject, she didn't want to ruin whatever surprise Tyler had planned. "We're getting married." I said jumping up and down and hugging Angie again. She giggled the distraction seemed to have worked.

"Let me see that ring again." Angie grabbed my hand and Laura leaned in.

Angie whistled, "Sweet lord that's a serious engagement ring Bren." she breathed.

"Oh come on…it isn't that big a deal." I swallowed, the girls looking at me like I was crazy.

Laura laughed, "Hey Eric." she called out, "Come here and see my future wedding ring."

We all laughed and I was glad the focus from my huge diamond, double the size of Angie's was long forgotten. Little did they know, I had been given an even bigger ring from Stuart, but these girls didn't know where I had come from. Beverly Hills was another world. I liked this world and I loved my ring, and I loved Dylan. Three down two to go. I knew Tyler wouldn't care much for women's jewelry but Mark was here. He'd find out soon enough that I was getting married. It worried me a little but not enough to let it ruin my night. I didn't like hurting people.

The band took the stage and they were on fire tonight. Angie sat next to me. Looking up at her Tyler. She was a straight fan girl as they stared at each other. It was the cutest thing. I was happy I came out after all, her and Tyler looked like they were on cloud nine. The band sounded really good, even without Angie. She'd been working on her own music. Mark even said hello to both Dylan and myself, almost nice which was a relief. The best part he wasn't up there singing to me anymore. I was so thankful it wasn't awkward. Dylan was even nice to him. Maybe we were growing up?

Tyler grabbed the microphone, "This is a new one that a good friend of mine helped me write for my beautiful wife to be. Dylan…you're a stand up dude. I'm glad you moved here and congratulations to you and Brenda. Angie my darlin…this one is for you. She gleamed.

"This was his proposal song." she whispered to me, not taking her eyes off her man.

I looked at Dylan and smiled. Dylan raised his club soda in a cheers towards the stage and the band started playing, I cuddled closer to Dylan. I didn't know anything about this but maybe this was Tyler's surprise. He began to sing.

 _They said I was nothing but a troublemaker never up to no good_

 _You were the perfect all American girl wouldn't touch me even if you could_

 _But you was sneaking out your window every night riding shotgun in my car_

 _We go to the river and find us a spot and we probably went a little too far_

 _Just a little too far_

 _'Cause I was gonna be your forever_

 _You were gonna be my wife_

 _We didn't know any better_

 _Didn't have a clue about life_

 _But I was what you wanted you were what I needed_

 _And we could meet in between_

 _We were gonna be the greatest love story this town had ever seen_

 _So you went off to college and I got a job I was working that 9 to 5_

 _Dreaming of the days when you were in my arms I've never felt so alive_

 _I spent my days working, spent my nights drinking, howling at the moon_

 _Screaming for the days when you were coming back, no couldn't come to soon_

 _Couldn't come to soon_

 _When I was gonna be your forever_

 _You were gonna be my wife_

 _But you went off to find better_

 _And I was learning all about life_

 _But I was what you wanted and you were what I needed_

 _And we could meet in between_

 _We were gonna be the greatest love story this town had ever seen_

 _So you came back after a long four years_

 _Your college boyfriend didn't work out_

 _So we went out for a couple of drinks to find out who we are now_

 _Sure we changed but way deep down you had the same old feelings for me_

 _I went to the store and I bought you a ring and I got down on one knee_

 _Down on one knee_

 _And I said_

 _I wanna be your forever_

 _So baby will you be my wife_

 _Now that we know a little better_

 _We could have a real nice life_

 _'Cause I'm what you wanted and your what I need_

 _So let's meet in between_

 _We're gonna be the greatest love story this town has ever seen_

 _We're gonna be the greatest love story this world has ever seen_

 _So baby say yes to me_

We all clapped as Angie rushed the stage. Dylan's grip got a bit tighter around me. What a perfect song for them. On country night no less. It was perfect, I was sad I had missed the actual proposal show. At that moment I I kissed Dylan hard.

"I'm so proud of you, that was an amazing song." I whispered against his lips.

He smiled, "Thank you." he kissed me again. We were in a heated kiss when suddenly I heard Dylan's name. I looked toward the stage.

"Come on man…" Tyler smiled.

I looked at Dylan, he looked nervous, "What's going on?"

He smirked at me with a shrug and got up. Angie had returned to her seat. I turned to her, "Do you know whats going on?"

She lifted one shoulder and took a sip fro her cocktail. Oh my god she knew something. I watched Dylan join the band on the stage, even giving a side high five to Mark, what the fuck was going on?

Dylan stepped front and center, Mark handed him a guitar. Dylan moved the strap around him and stepped up to the microphone. "Bare with me guys, I wrote this song and learned a few notes on the guitar. Thankfully I have this awesome band to back me up. Brenda…I love you more than anything in the whole world, I can't wait to make you my wife. This one is for you baby."

I breathed out, ignoring the sweet goo goo eyes of my girlfriends around me. I watched stunned as Dylan, picked out the intro to the song on the guitar. Holy shit…I think my heart stopped. His voice smooth, deep and sexy. He sounded really good and my girl bits were in over drive.

 _I met you in the dark, you lit me up_

 _You made me feel as though I was enough_

 _We danced the night away, you drank too much_

 _I held your hair back when_

 _You were throwing up_

I covered my eyes and laughed, semi embarrassed. Oh my god.

 _Then you smiled over your shoulder_

 _For a minute, you_ _w_ _ere_ _stone-cold sober_

 _I pulled you closer to my chest_

 _And you asked me to stay over_

 _I said, I already told ya_

 _I think that you should get some rest_

He was talking about an instance when he first moved here, before we professed our feelings. I made dinner, drank 2 bottles of wine alone and threw up in front of Dylan. We even joked about it the next morning because I had apparently in my wine drunk I had asked him to stay the night many times, I flirted shamelessly with him and wanted him. He being a gentlemen thankfully declined and tucked me in and headed back to the hotel. That was a few nights after he arrived in London.

 _I knew I loved you then_

 _But you'd never know_

 _'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go_

 _I know I needed you_

 _But I never showed_

 _But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _Just say you won't let go_

Holy fuck me, this was the hottest thing I had ever seen from Dylan. Playing guitar, singing to me. I literally squirmed a little in my seat feeling the ache between my legs. We stared at each other as he continued. Strumming the guitar and looking like hot sex on a platter.

 _I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed_

 _I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head_

 _And I'll take the kids to school_

 _Wave them goodbye_

 _And I'll thank my lucky stars for that night_

 _When you looked over your shoulder_

 _For a minute, I forget that I'_ _m_ _older_

 _I wanna dance with you right now_

Now he was talking about our past. Sometimes when I looked at him, it felt like we were 16 all over again. Sometimes I forgot we were older too. It made my heart ache for him that he obviously felt the same too.

 _Oh, and you look as beautiful as ever_

 _And I swear that everyday you_ _get better_

 _You make me feel this way somehow_

 _I'm so in love with you_

 _And I hope you know_

 _Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold_

 _We've come so far my dear_

 _Look how we've grown_

 _And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _I wanna live with you_

 _Even when we're ghosts_

 _'Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most_

 _I'm gonna love you till_

 _My lungs give out_

 _I promise till death we part like in our vows_

 _So I wrote this song for you, now everybody knows_

 _'Cause it's just you and me till we're grey and old_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _Just say you won't let go_

 _Oh, just say you won't let go_

The whole bar including me stood up and applauded. That was the best song I have ever heard. I wiped my tears that were flowing freely down my cheeks. Dylan's intense stare looking into mine as he blushed and acted humble. Mark was clapping and patted Dylan on the back. When did he do this?

"Oh my god Brenda…that was…that was so amazin." Angie gushed.

"You got a keeper there Bren." Laura chimed in.

My attention was on Dylan as he made his way off stage. In the instant I rushed to him. He caught me easily and picked me up as he kissed me fiercely.

A sob came out as I kissed him eagerly back.

"Shhh…baby." he cooed as my feet hit the ground. His hands on my face.

"Dylan…that was…that was…" I was crying happy tears. He chuckled.

"You liked it then?" he looked down shyly before his eyes reached mine again.

"Liked it? I loved it…and I love you so much."

His head tilted to the side as he brushed my tear off my cheek, "I love you too Bren."

I hugged him tightly, cheers still rang throughout the pub.

"When did you do this?" I looked into his eyes, "You learned to play the guitar?" I was floored.

Dylan laughed a bit, "Well I don't know about that. Tyler helped me and I've been practicing for over a month. I was going to propose to you with this song but the moment was just better suited in Paris. I changed the lyrics a little and Mark helped me learn more chords and taught me a few tricks."

"Mark…helped you?" Holy shit…this was crazy.

Dylan put his arm around me and walked me toward the table, "He was around…when I was practicing at Tyler's. What can I say guys don't hold grudges like girls do." he joked.

I stared at him in disbelief. I felt sixteen again in that moment again. I thought back to that first day I met Dylan McKay. His intense sexy stare imploring mine. Our first date, seeing him fall apart in front of me showing me his sensitive little boy side. That kiss and the ones that followed in the years after. Dylan was the bad boy but misunderstood. I was a small mid west good girl from Minnesota, a virgin. We met and fell in love. An intense real love that knocked us both off our feet. One thing occurred to me in that moment. I was the good girl, that could bring out the heart of gold in this bad boy. We were both better people having known each other. He taught me how to relax and not take everything so seriously, and I taught him how to love. I stopped, Dylan's hand gripped mine. He looked at me wondering why I was stopping.

"Take me home Dylan."

The side of his mouth went up into a sexy smirk, "Lead the way." he replied.

Without even saying goodbye to our friends we left the pub and started the short walk home. He held my hand tightly.

"I can not believe you did that for me." I shook my head.

He laughed, "I'm glad you liked it. I worked pretty hard."

"That song…was something." I said softly looking straight ahead.

"I meant every word." He utterly.

I stopped and pulled his hand back as he faced me. I leaned in and kissed him softly.

"Even picking the kids up from school." I smiled.

He laughed, "You bet, I'm all in Bren. Marriage, kids, white picket fence, whatever you want." Warm feelings spread through my body quickly.

His loving stare looking back at me, "I think we should tell everyone back home." It was the first I had brought it up.

Dylan smiled, "Ok…whenever you want. Want to call them tomorrow?" His arms circled my waist tightly as he brought me in closer.

I took a deep breath, "No…I think we should go home for a visit. Tell them in person."

His eyes widened, he looked surprised. "You want to go to L.A.?" he asked me, a slight smile on his face.

I returned his smile, "I do, plan a little. Make sure mom and dad are there, maybe Iris and Erica, the gang. Tell them in person."

Dylan nodded not against it, "What made you change your mind?" he asked honestly.

I shrugged a little, "I miss Brandon. I miss my family. It would be awesome to see them, with you there, tell them this incredible news."

He kissed my forehead, "I think you just want to see Jim's face when he finds out." he laughed which was contagious.

"Maybe." I laughed joking.

He rolled his eyes and we continued to our apartment. When we got into the living room. I took off my jacket and stared at him settling on the couch. "I still cant believe you learned how to play guitar to sing that song to me." I sat next to him.

"That I did, I even have a guitar upstairs." Seriously?

"Will you play it again for me?"

He looked shy and nodded. I watched him get up and walk up the loft stairs disappearing. He was back a second later with a guitar in hand. He played the song again for me, his guitar playing was a little rusty, amateur without the band to back him but it was still wonderful. I cried again hearing the beautiful words he sang. We made love again. It was loving and soft and so passionate. Cuddling after as we talked about our trip to L.A. thinking my only break I had from rehearsal was in 2 weeks. It would be soon but we could do it. Dylan caressed my side as we laid there. We sat quiet taking in the night. Dylan admitted it wasn't a night that Tyler had planned for Angie, it was his plan so he could sing my song. It made sense that even a blow job couldn't keep him home that night. It made us laugh. In 2 weeks we would be heading back to Beverly Hills. Somewhere I hadn't been back in over 3 years, Dylan over a year now. I wasn't sure how the news would be received. I mean the last time the gang had saw Dylan he had married Toni. Now everyone knew we were living here and together again. I knew they would be shocked. I pushed the feeling aside. It was time to go home. It wouldn't be more that 4 or 5 days but it still scared me a little, being back there with Dylan was something that I thought was important. For everyone to see us in person. To celebrate our engagement with the people we love. Dylan seemed happy about it. I cuddled closer to him closing my eyes. I just hoped it was the right decision and everyone would be as happy as we were at this moment.

 _Sorry for the delay. Been busy with work and family stuff. So Brenda and Dylan are going back to LA…good idea? Bad idea? Let me know. Don't give up on me yet guys, the story isn't over yet. We still have 2 years left of their life in London. Please review. I'll be waiting!_


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

 _We are a circle_

 _where we roam_

 _near or far_

 _it is our home_

 _we are home_

 _Any place_

 _we come to be_

 _just remember_

 _you're with me_

 _where ever we are_

 _we are home_

 _There are times_

 _you look so lost_

 _stand with me_

 _and be a part_

 _of the home_

 _in my heart_

 _our home is_

 _of the heart_

 _Adryan Rotica_

DPOV

I tried to keep my smirk from my lips as I watched Brenda bounce her leg up and down during our flight. It was as if she was in a restless leg syndrome commercial and I knew if she saw how much I thought it was comical it would just piss her off. I couldn't help it though even though I knew why she was nervous, it had been a long time since she was home. I'm not sure why I wasn't, I guess it just felt right, different. I was also happy to be back with her. We were able to stay a whole 2 weeks not just 1 and we would be in sunny gorgeous LA for Christmas and New Years. Brenda's director was taking time off as well to visit New York and his family so it worked out pretty perfectly. Plus I hadn't sold my house so we still had a place to stay. To say I was surprised Brenda wanted to visit home is an understatement. I was shocked. She had been so against it, I just figured she wouldn't change her mind. Brenda was stubborn and when she made up her mind about something there was no talking her into it. We had spent the last two weeks trying to plan this right so everybody would be there. I had been the one to call Iris and Erica. After telling my mother I would fly both of them to LA from Hawaii first class that was an easy choice for them. Plus it was a hell of a lot cheaper to fly them to LA then it was to fly them out to London, plus with Erica being on Christmas vacation it was great timing. The Walsh's were harder. They lived in Hong Kong and hadn't planned on visiting but Brenda had not let up laying on the guilt that she hadn't been back to Beverly Hills in over 3 years and she wanted them to be there to spend Christmas as a family. After many phone calls they agreed to spend Christmas in LA. Other than that no one back home knew we were coming. It was exciting. We kind of knew a little about what was happening back home. Donna and David were back together it seemed. Kelly was dating some guy named Mark from the keg house but a studious type and Brandon and Tracy were pretending to not be crazy about each other, taking it slow were his words. Again the drama from home seemed juvenile and not in the least bit interesting but Brenda of course soaked it in. I think it had to do with the fact deep in her heart she missed the gang and being part of their everyday lives. I did too, Brenda was just so much more important than any of it.

I placed my hand gently on Brenda's knee, "Relax baby." I tried to soothe her.

She looked embarrassed and stopped bouncing her leg. "I'm sorry." she whispered "I'm being silly. Just nervous for some reason."

"Bren…it will be great you'll see." I reassured her.

She looked at me, an expression I didn't see often, insecurity. I reached my arm around her as we were taxiing in from our red eye. I kissed her long on the side of her temple. "You are the most beautiful, brave, kind hearted, talented, sexy." I whispered with a smirk, "Person I know. Please stop whatever weird thoughts are running through your head." I hugged her tighter with my arm, "Ok?"

She looked up at me her light eyes imploring mine and smiled. She nodded and leaned in and kissed me softly. "Ok." she whispered against my lips. She didn't have to tell me why she was nervous and I really wished she wouldn't be. Last time she was here in Beverly Hills, I was in an on and off again relationship with Kelly. Even though the last couple weeks Brenda was here we were back together, or at least sleeping together. I knew that's where that insecurity came from. It was the only time I saw it on her and it was always regarding Kelly. I cursed at myself that I ever made this sweet gorgeous girl ever think she was below anyone or anything other than amazing. I was such an idiot back then. The only thing I could do was make this trip memorable and show Brenda and everyone else in our group that I was deeply in love, getting married to my true love/high school sweetheart and I had never been happier.

We got our bags quite easily considering it was 3 days before Christmas and before too long I was waiting in the long line to rent a car. What can I say, nobody walks in LA and it was so much easier. I sighed frustrated and now it was my turn for Brenda to comfort me. Her hand went to my butt cheek rubbing softly not caring there were people in line behind us.

She stood on her tip toes and whispered in my ear, "I cant wait to be alone with you. In your old bed, like old times." I closed my eyes and instantly relaxed thinking about the last time we were there. Her distraction worked because after several minutes of daydreaming, stealing a couple kisses from Bren we were finally next as we approached the desk.

"How can I help you?" The young man said politely.

"I need to rent a car, do you have any convertibles?" I asked hopeful as Brenda chuckled beside me.

"Uh sure, we have a corvette…" he was busy typing in the system.

"Um no. Why so Steve can try to steal it?" I said quietly and Brenda laughed louder.

"Mustang?" the kid said with a smile.

I exhaled now Brandon would be stoked, "Foreign?"

His eyebrows pulled together as he took to his computer again, "Um we have a Porsche but it's a little older model."

I felt Brenda's head hit my shoulder and shake with laughter, I was dead serious. I was in LA and I had walked everywhere the last year. I was going to enjoy the warm weather and enjoy a happening car. "What year?" I'm pretty sure the people behind me were just as frustrated as I was without the help of vixen Brenda to calm them down.

"It's…a 1994, black convertible. The rate is $350 a day." he looked at me nervously, damn that's steep.

What the hell right…and only a couple years old. "We'll take it." I said with a smile.

"Dylan?" Brenda's hand rested on my arm, "$350 a day…maybe something more practical?" I eyed the young man at the desk, he stopped working wondering if I was going to get my way.

"Give me one sec." I said with a smirk and backed her a foot away from the desk, he leaned in a little to listen.

"It's fine." I said gently placing my hands on her upper arms.

"Dylan it's for two weeks, that's 5 grand." She said low, I leaned in and gave her a fiery kiss and I heard the rent-a-car dude chuckle. Yes man watch and learn.

"I got it." I reassured her and she huffed, not mad but I knew she thought it was a waste of money. "We're on vacation." if looks could kill. "I'll even let you drive it." her expression softened. "Please baby." yeah now I was whining. "Please."

She rolled her eyes with a sigh, "Fine." she gave in. My smile got huge as I kissed her deeply slipping my tongue into her mouth and kissing her inappropriately. A clear of a throat took me back to where I was and as we looked to the couple with two small children behind us, I was greeted by giggling children, a wife that looked like she hadn't been kissed like that in years and a very frustrated husband. After Brenda and I finished chuckling ourselves we finally paid the man and received the keys to my very own Porsche for the next two weeks.

"Welcome to LA." the young man said with a smile. Brenda and I looked at each other, our eyebrows lifting with our own matching grins, here goes nothing. Life was fucking good!

BPOV

Fucking Dylan. He was like a kid in a candy store or Steve in a strip club, same difference. Blowing down the 405, blasting music toward Beverly Hills. I couldn't help but smile as I looked at him but it terrified me too. He had moved away from here to get away from the painful tragedy and came to me. Now being back here, I didn't want him to want to stay. I was having a blast so far being back. The weather was simply amazing. Here it was mid 70's, clear blue skies and December but my work and home was in London now. I stuffed that feeling down as we pulled in front of Dylan's old house. His bungalow still looked good from the outside. The stone house stood just how I remembered. The greenery kept up, window shades drawn, the same but a little lonely.

"Well…looks like Brandon has kept the old girl in okay shape." he responded as the purr of the Porsche became quiet.

I looked at him, "Brandon has been watching your house?" I didn't know that.

"Well…not really watching it just took in my mail. Made sure it didn't burn down while I was gone. Actually he was taking in my mail until it came out we were living together and I finally had my mailing address forwarded to our new place." He opened up the drivers side door as I looked up to the house again, deja vu. We started unpacking the car and headed up the stairs to the big wide wooden door filled with gorgeous windows. Dylan unlocked the front door with his key and it swung open widely and he moved in setting our bags on the floor. I stood on the porch looking in. Nostalgia hitting me with a whack. Memories hitting me like the London air hits your face in winter. I stood stunned…frozen. Before I even realized what was happening I was picked up bridal style by Dylan and he was carrying me through the threshold. I let out a giggle my senses coming back to me, Dylan kicking the door closed.

"We aren't married yet." I laughed out as he turned me around in a circle once.

"I know but I couldn't help myself." I finally felt my feet hit the ground as he put me down. I took a deep breath taking it in. I hadn't been here in such a long time. I looked over at Dylan who was doing the same. The house was stuffy and closed in. Sheets covered the furniture to keep a years worth of dust off of it. "Surreal huh." Dylan finally spoke.

"Yeah…so many memories. So many amazing memories." I breathed. I looked over at Dylan with a small smile and noticed him look down and then it dawned on me. The last time he was here, he had just buried Toni. "Are you okay?" I moved towards him, wrapping my arm around his waist.

He looked down at me, nothing but love showing in his eyes as he nodded.

"Are you sure babe? We could stay at a hotel…I don't mind."

"No…I'm good." he uttered and nodded again. A sparkle in his eye now. He quickly moved both of his arms tightly around my waist and kissed me. A low groan leaving his throat. "Besides." he kissed me again softly, "We can't afford it, we just spend 5 grand on a rent-a-car." He laughed as he went in kissing me again. I playfully pushed him off with a laugh and I knew he really was okay after all. Dylan was a strong man, he may not know it. After all he had been through, the thing was Dylan was a lover and a survivor. He wore it proud and it was god awful sexy.

It didn't take long to get settled. We opened the blinds and windows letting the cool breeze through the home. We took off the sheets that covered the furniture and cleaned up a little. I sat on the futon, traveling catching up to me.

"You want to head to the mall?" Dylan joined me. He knew we had Christmas shopping to do and we didn't really have a plan now that we were back. My mom and dad weren't due into LA until tomorrow night. Iris and Erica tomorrow afternoon.

"Nah…maybe tomorrow." I pulled up my legs getting comfortable.

"What about Brandon…maybe we should give him a call or head over. We're going to have to meet up with him before our families come in tomorrow. Give him a heads up that he is going to have a house full for Christmas."

I agreed and headed into the shower to wash the flight off of me. I told Dylan we would head over to the house after I recouped a little. He said he would start unpacking as I did so. After my shower I headed into Dylan's bedroom. He was just finishing hanging my clothes into his closet as I looked at him. He stood only in a pair of jeans, bare chested working hard by organizing our things. I stood by the door to his bedroom with a small towel wrapped around me and watched him.

"You gonna stand there gawking at me?" he used my words on him, feeling my presence not turning around yet.

I chuckled, "Yeah…I think I will." I answered back. He turned around giving me the most beautiful smile, staring into my eyes. "If you gawk at me for awhile too." I dropped my towel to my feet. I watched his chest rise and fall, as he looked at me lustfully. His eyes slowly following down my neck, my shoulders, breasts, down my waist and then his eyes widened. I got waxed. It was almost 1997, it was about damn time.

"Bren." he whispered as he shook his head slowly.

"You like it?" I smirked giving him my bedroom eyes.

He huffed out speechless, still staring. He walked slowly towards me, stalking me like a lion stalking his prey. He licked his lips as his eyes fell on my center again getting closer to me. My stomach twirling at the anticipation. I had always trimmed and been neat down there but this was different, this was almost bare. I almost felt silly but when I had gone to the spa with Laura and Angie yesterday they swore by it. Telling me how much cleaner and easy it was. How much the boys loved it and how they refuse to go back now. By the look Dylan was giving me before he feasted on my neck almost animal like. He loved it too. Dylan kissed me everywhere, even falling to his knees to see close up. He parted my lips with his tongue and tasted me which almost had me buckling at the knees. His hands and lips caressing me like the wind. I'd have to thank the girls later. All the foreplay in the world could not heighten my senses more then when Dylan finally entered me, painfully slow. He kissed me hard yet ever so gently as we moved together. Being home had a million meanings at that moment. Cause at that moment it was years ago in this bed before I moved away. Finally coming together with Dylan the end of our freshman year after pining and pretending he didn't matter anymore. Through the friendship and love, I was home again and it felt breathtaking.

BRANDON'S POV

I took a deep breath as I climbed the steps to the front door. Freaking Tracy had me feeling nervous. I wanted to get her a christmas present but what was I going to get her that didn't give her the wrong idea. Donna had decided later tonight we would get together and pick names for a gift exchange thing she was going to put together. Her idea was to put everyone's name in a hat, have a $50 dollar limit and with the money we would save by not giving everyone gifts we would give to charity. It was a sweet idea just what if I picked her or even worse Kelly. I made my bed in this, months and months ago Kelly came to me wanting to give it another try with me but after getting out of my relationship with Susan I knew it would have been disastrous and irresponsible to jump back in with her. We were both on the rebound. Now here I was having feelings again for someone other than Kelly and I didn't want to screw it up. The one thing I really wasn't sure of was if I was completely over Kelly to begin with. Now it brought me here. I wanted to get away from my house, Steve, Valerie, who by the way had been pushing me to make things more official with Tracy. Then again of course she felt that way because she despised Kelly. I hadn't come here in such a long time. Just the silence, to think, it was majorly needed at this moment. I used the key to open the door and as soon as I walked in I heard noises, movements. Looking around I saw the sheets gone from the couches, the blinds opened and windows letting in the cool breeze of the California winter. Was Dylan back? Had I ignored my friends request to keep people out while he was gone?

"Hello?" I called out. I slowly walked toward the noise. Getting closer the sounds got louder, now I heard muffled voices. Was someone flipping living here? As I walked towards the kitchen table I spotted a baseball bat, leaning innocently against the dining hutch. I grabbed it and held it against my shoulder. If people were here in Dylan's house, I needed something to scare them off. I rounded the corner ready to shout when I saw something that made me want to tear my eyes out. My sister on top of Dylan slowly riding him like a thoroughbred. Now the noises making sense as heavy breathing and moans from both parties rang too loud in my ear. I closed my eyes startled and the bat hit the wooden floor with a bang. I quickly turned around

"Oh my god." I heard Brenda gasp. Sheets being stirred around and cursing.

"What are you doing here?" Dylan said embarrassed and annoyed.

I kept my back to them, "Me? Dude what the hell are you guys doing here?" I shouted.

Brenda laughed uncomfortably, "Give me a second Brandon." More movement, hopefully putting some freaking clothes on. Jesus this was my luck and so disturbing at this moment. I felt her hand on my shoulder so I figured it was safe to turn around. There stood my twin sister in a robe with a huge smile on her face. She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly. I looked past her shoulder as Dylan stood by the bed wearing boxers now. He smiled back as the shock of seeing them in such a compromising position quickly faded. My arms slowly came and embraced her back.

"God I missed you." she whispered through tears.

My hand rubbing sweetly down her back, "It's so good to see you…or maybe not this much of you." She laughed and we leaned away from each other. "What are you doing here?"

Brenda took a step back and shrugged one shoulder, "We wanted to surprise you guys." At this point Dylan slowly walked closer to me, standing next to Brenda and held out his hand.

I nodded with a smile and met his hand with mine giving him a firm shake, "What's happening B?" Dylan said cool and collected.

I laughed out loud and gave him a hug, patting his back with a slap. "What a sight for sore eyes man. It's hard to believe I'm looking at you."

"Yeah I know. It's been awhile huh." Dylan said with a smirk. It sure had been. Longer since I had seen my sister but still I hadn't realized how much I missed them until this moment. Dylan wrapped his arm tightly around Brenda as she leaned into him. They looked good together, older but still the same.

"Sorry to interrupt, you guys look like you're as good as ever."

"We are…thanks bro." Dylan looked sincerely happy.

"Sorry man, I hadn't been here in a long time, just needed to think." I really hadn't, here Dylan was probably thinking I came to his house all the time. "When did you guys get in?"

Dylan kissed her temple as Brenda's face lit up, "This morning, we're staying for Christmas and New Years. Look Brandon give me a few minutes to get dressed, there is something we have to tell you."

I smiled at my best friend and sister, "You mean you have a bigger surprise then being here after 3 and half years?" I joked.

The look the two gave each other was something that I hadn't felt or seen in way too long. It reminded me why I came here in the first place, Kelly and the mess with Tracy. I left the two to get decent as I walked into Dylan's living room. It wasn't a few minutes later as they both emerged hand and hand from the bedroom. I made myself at home and sat on the futon as Brenda and Dylan sat closely together on the coffee table facing me. Their hands tightly intertwined.

"Well…we were planning to call. I'm sorry for what you walked in on." Dylan looked down feeling nervous and uncomfortable, it was hilarious.

"Let's not talk about this again." I said wishing someone could permanently erase it from my brain.

"Deal." Brenda and Dylan said at the same time.

Then Brenda began, "So we wanted to spend Christmas with you. Mom and dad are coming too, and Iris and Erica."

"Wow that's awesome. You guys planned this whole thing? When do they come in?"

"Tomorrow night, Iris in the afternoon, but there is a reason we wanted to do this. And we both wanted everyone to be together." they looked at each other and smiled and my heart started beating a little bit faster. Oh shit Brenda was pregnant.

"Oh man." I whispered with a shake of my head as I looked at my crossed hands in my lap. My eyes finding Brenda's then Dylan's next.

Brenda chucked, "We didn't tell you yet."

I took a deep breath, "No it makes sense, You want me to know first so I can have your back when you tell our parents they are about to be grand parents. I get it. Oh man. Well we need a plan." I began to think of how the best way to break this news to my parents.

"Grandparents?" Dylan almost choked and then looked at Brenda with wide eyes. She rolled her eyes and patted his shoulder.

"No Brandon, I'm not pregnant." She looked at Dylan and sense of relief washing over him.

She held out her left hand to me, "We're getting married."

My eyes zeroed in on the big diamond on Brenda's hand. So didn't see that one coming. My eyes looked back and forth between them. They were cuddling closer together now smiling, looking really disgustingly happy, waiting for my reaction. I probably shouldn't have said the first thing that came to my head at that moment.

 _So what do you think. Brenda and Dylan first day back in BH and brandon knows. How do you think he is going to react? What do you think he blurts out? Let me know in your review. I miss you guys. This was gun to write. Lots of dialogue so I apologize if its choppy, I hope its not. Net up we go back to Dylan's point of view. I already started the next chapter. :) Show me some love y'all!_


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 35

 _Am I jealous?, I don_ _'_ _t know._

 _Maybe yes but partly no,_

 _Am I jealous?, I don_ _'_ _t think so,_

 _Feelings I want to let go._

 _I really don_ _'_ _t know why,_

 _Things are meant to be a lie,_

 _I just don'_ _t get it how,_

 _Things are made now._

 _A part of me is denying,_

 _The other part is confirming,_

 _Maybe yes, maybe no,_

 _Feelings I don_ _'_ _t know._

 _Mark Ipil_

 _DPOV_

"Well that rock is better than any trip around the world that's for sure." I looked down hearing Brandon's reaction. Ok I may have deserved that a little, it had been a long time since I've been back in LA and the year before Toni I know had it's effect on us as friends, but I had thought we moved past this.

"Brandon come on." I sighed. I looked at Brenda and she squeezed my hand encouragingly. She closed her eyes taking a deep breath and I can tell she was holding back from saying something she would regret.

Brandon sighed loudly, "God I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." he shook his head disappointed he brought that up. "I'm happy for you, I really am. I was just surprised. I don't know why I said that." He reached his hand covering both our hands. "You guys know how much I love you both. If you want to do this, you have my blessing." He smiled, "It's about friggin time you guys got this right marriage or not."

Brenda smiled and leaned across hugging her brother tightly. "Thank you. I want this. I'm so happy Bran." she whispered. I don't know if she meant for me to hear but I did. As Brandon leaned away from Bren he looked at me, a small smile spread across his face. He stood up and held out his hand. I stood up and met his hand with mine in a handshake. He pulled me into a brotherly hug. I smiled as we both gave each other a pat.

"Welcome to the family brother."

I nodded, feeling happy, I missed Brandon and he was my best friend. I was glad he was happy for us. It meant more than he probably knew.

"Well." both Brandon's hands came out and smacked his thighs, "The gang is coming over to the house. We're suppose to pick names for a secret santa thing. Why don't you guys come? See everyone…tell everyone the good news?"

"That sounds good." Brenda stood up with a smile on her face. "Give me 20 minutes, let me freshen up."

Brandon nodded and we both watched Brenda head into my bedroom and close the door.

"I'm sorry bro, I don't know why I said that. Things are complicated right now in the female department, been thinking about Kelly lately and this mess with Tracy." Brandon sat back down looking down at his intertwined hands. He definitely had girl troubles.

"Want to talk about it?" I joined him.

Brandon looked over at me and shrugged, "I guess since you and Bren are getting married it shouldn't be weird anymore to talk about her huh?"

I smirked and shook my head, "No it shouldn't be."

He proceeded to tell me about when they found out about Brenda and myself living together how he let Kelly down when she clearly wanted to start back up. It sounded like a smart move considering they had both just gotten out of relationships. He then proceeded to tell me about Tracy. He liked her, I could tell but he was nervous to move forward with her.

"What if it's a mistake? What if I'm suppose to be with Kelly?" He looked at me with honest eyes.

"Have you talked to Kelly about this?" I asked honestly.

He shook his head quickly, "No…we are just really getting back to being close friends and she's with Mark, which don't even get me started about him. He's a thorn in my side and a pain in my ass." He rubbed down his face with his hands.

"You know what B, everything will work out, I swear. The last person I want to sound like is my mother but seriously, everything will work out like it's suppose to be. If you want to go out with Tracy…go out with Tracy. If you want to tell Kelly you're in love with her, then tell her. Clearly you are." I gave him a smirk and he matched it quickly. "I mean look at Bren and me, things happen at the right times."

He took a deep breath and looked at me nodding, "You and Bren huh? I have to be honest with you Dylan, not that I'm not happy for you, I didn't think you would go down this road again. After Toni that is." he looked at me, into my eyes, searching for something.

I nodded, "I know…I wasn't sure either, but it's different with Bren this time."

Brandon looked to the floor before looking at me again, "You know you're my best friend, I love you like a brother, just tell me this decision is because you want to get married and not because you lost your first wife?"

"Brandon…" I began but he cut me off.

"Dylan…she's my sister and I have to ask."

I looked him straight in the eyes, "Bran…I love your sister more than anything in this entire world. She has been there for me as long as I can remember and there is nothing I want more in my future than your sister. I want to get married again and to be honest she should have been my first wife." He continued to stare at me for what seemed like a whole minute maybe two.

Finally a small smirk spread across his finest face, "You should use that line on my father." he laughed out loud, "I can't wait for him to hear this."

We both laughed and shook our heads at the thought. At that moment Brenda came out of the bedroom looking at us as a smile spread across her face, "What did I miss? What's so funny?" she set her hand on her hip.

Both Brandon and I got up and muttered nothing. "You had to be there." I commented after.

She looked at us curiously and gave me that famous sexy smirk that made my dick hard and my stomach flip. She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck and I kissed her hard. Brandon cleared his throat after a minute. We both turned our heads towards him shyly.

"Seriously you guys are going to make me endure this again? Like I didn't see enough to last me 5 life times?"

Brenda giggled and I couldn't help but chuckle, "I thought we said we were never going to talk about that again?" I joked.

Brandon rolled his eyes with a smile, "I wish I could unsee it." he laughed, "Let's go you little jockey." he said to Brenda.

I laughed out loud, cracked up actually. Brenda looked between us confused, not getting the reference. "Jockey?"

Brandon laughed, "Come on." he headed for the door. Brenda looked at me with outright confusion.

"I don't get it." she whispered.

I laughed again and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, "You know…Jockey…like a person that rides a horse in races?"

She continued to look at me until suddenly the confusion disappeared and utter embarrassment replaced the expression. "Oh my god." she covered her deep blush with her hands and groaned. I chuckled and kissed the side of her head. I couldn't stop the smile on my face. Brenda was a little Jockey, she was award winning. Sadly this was no surprise to me, her brother on the other hand probably could have lived 9 lives never knowing this fact. Poor bastard.

BPOV

Jesus…I was so embarrassed. I guess in the moment I was so happy to see Brandon I didn't really think about what he saw. UGH and now we were on our way to my old house. Where all of my old friends would be, not expecting to see me or Dylan. I couldn't help but feel nervous. I was so lost in my thoughts I hadn't realized the Porsche was now parked behind Brandon's car and Dylan was staring over at me.

"You ok?" he asked gently taking a piece of my hair and placing it behind my ear. His hand gently cupped my cheek after.

"I'm ok baby, just weird being back." I said quietly.

"I know…but good weird right?" his thumb traced across my cheek.

I nodded, "So far so good." I looked up to the house and saw Brandon standing there waiting for us. He pointed at his watch joking. Man I missed my brother. We got out of the car and made our way up the familiar driveway, and Brandon led us to the side kitchen door.

"Anyone home?" he called out taking off his lightweight jacket, only needing that much at night because it was so warm, we followed suit.

"Yeah Bran…in here." we heard Steve and Valerie call out. We followed my brother towards the living room.

"Tracy called." Valerie said in a tone I hadn't recognized. "Holy shit." she said out loud as our eyes met.

"Are you kidding me? Dylan! Brenda! how the hell are you?" Steve's boisterous happy voice sang. He came over scooping me up into a bear hug and my feet left the ground, "It's been forever." I almost couldn't breathe and finally I felt the floor.

I laughed, "Good to see you too Steve."

"Dylan bro…you've been so MIA, how long are you guys here?" he gave Dylan a manly hug. Steve's energy was positive and fun. It was truly good to see him.

"We are staying for Christmas and New Years. We leave the 3rd." I said with a smile, he was infectious.

"That's awesome." Steve clapped his hands together and looked at Brandon, "You knew about this and didn't say anything?"

Brandon's hands went into his pocket as he shook his head, "Nope I was as shocked to see them as you are." I blushed a deep red again, damn it he didn't even say anything. I gave Valerie a long hug, she looked good and happy to see us as well.

"Well come in come in, the others should he here any minute, everyone is going to freak out. I'll be right back." We made our way in deeper into the living room and sat down. Steve left for the kitchen I sat next to Dylan and Valerie.

"So Bren…how's Ethan?" Valerie asked with a smile. "He seeing anybody?" She gave me a smirk and a wink.

I laughed, "Nope…I think he may be waiting for the next Valerie look a like or maybe just waiting for your return." I joked.

"He was something." she bit the inside of her lip, "I should fly him out here for a little weekend treat."

"Oh god Valerie, leave the poor guy be. You will chew him up and leave him for dead." Dylan said with a chuckle. Valerie's mouth dropped.

"Who's Ethan?" Brandon was not in the know.

"Just one of Brenda and Dylan's handsome friends in London, he was very generous with my visit."

Brandon laughed knowing Valerie too well, "Oh I'm sure he was."

Valerie picked up the pillow from her left and chucked it at Brandon in which he caught no problem. We all laughed.

"Alright everyone…celebration time." Steve came back in holding a bottle of champagne and glasses.

"Hello…were here." we heard as the front door opened and Donna, David and Kelly appeared letting their selves in.

"Oh my god Brenda?" Donna squealed and I got up to greet her. I practically skipped to her and she embraced me in a friendly hug, "I can't believe I'm looking at you." she squeezed tighter before letting go. "Dylan!" she bounced before giving him a hug as well.

"Long time no see." David smiled and greeted both of us too.

"Hey Bren." Kelly's voice quiet. "Dylan." she looked at us back and forth, waiting to greet us appropriately.

"This should be good." Valerie uttered taking a sip of the champagne Steve had started to distribute. Kelly gave Valerie the look of death.

"Hey Kelly." I moved in quickly and hugged her tightly, "You look good." I whispered properly greeting my one time favorite friend. She smiled at me as I leaned away taking her in.

"Thanks…it's been a rough year and half, but I'm doing good."

"I'm so glad." I took a deep breath, trying to keep my smile and not let the awkwardness of this particular reunion be too obvious.

Kelly moved her attention to Dylan and my smile faded. "Hey." she said softly. "It's been a long time. You look good."

Dylan nodded his head with a tight smile, "Thanks you do too." I watched Dylan as his hands came out of his pockets nervously as he motioned her to come closer. She did and hugged him tightly, she whispered something to him I didn't hear. He nodded, "I am…thanks." he said softly.

"So…let me be the first to toast this amazing reunion." Steve broke the silence.

"Actually Steve…Bren and me have a little announcement before the toast if that's okay?" Dylan walked towards me, now having all eyes on us.

"Of course." Steve said as he took a seat and so did the rest of the gang.

Dylan wrapped his arm around me and I looked at Kelly who watched us, curiously. It made me a tad uncomfortable. Then I looked at Valerie who also was looking at Kelly, probably for the same reason I had been. She had a smirk on her face, the kind that was impossible to hide. She was enjoying this.

"So as you can see we are back for the holidays and the Walsh's and my mom and sister will be joining us in LA tomorrow night."

"A Walsh family christmas I love it." Steve said cheerfully. "Like old times."

"Yes…like old times but the real reason we came out like this with the family and everything is because Brenda and I…"

Valerie's smile widened and she was looking at my left hand, then back up at my eyes. She had seen it, I knew how observant she was. There was no way she would miss a diamond of this size on my finger, clearly I was right.

"We're getting married." Dylan said happily.

Gasps…Squeals, "Seriously? Brenda! Dylan! Congratulations!" Everyone said things at the same time.

All of our friends rushed us, Donna grabbed my hand checking out my ring gushing over it's size, Steve and David patted Dylan on the back congratulating him, everyone seemed genuinely happy for us.

"What's the matter Kel? Not happy for the soon to be newlyweds, you're not jealous are you?" I heard Valerie say to her.

Kelly huffed, "Shut up Val." she said through her teeth and made her way over. My eyes locked with Valerie's as she raised her glass of champagne at me before taking it to her lips. Things were bad between them. She was loving this. I wasn't.

"Your ring is gorgeous Brenda." Kelly commented as she held my hand up, I looked away from Valerie and noticed Kelly in front of me now.

"Thank you Kelly." I said sincerely.

"I'm happy for the both of you." She said almost robotic.

I looked at Dylan, he sighed hearing the fakeness in her voice too but smiled, "Thanks Kel."

"Alright alright…cheers to the soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Dylan McKay." Steve past around the remaining glasses of champagne to everyone and held up his glass. "Congratulations you two, to first loves, first sex and second chances." We laughed at Steve and held our glasses high.

"Cheers." everyone sang out clicking their glasses together in a toast. I brought my glass to my lips as my eyes locked with Kelly's. Was she pissed, jealous…what the fuck for? She leaned back taking her champagne back in one gulp, clearly feeling something. Here we go again.

The rest of the night went by without any drama. Kelly was quiet but I wasn't going to let her ruin my night, in which besides her weirdness was amazingly fun. We were added into the secret Santa Donna was putting together, even though we knew who we all had so it wasn't secret at all. I had gotten Steve, which could be fun. To make things super weird, Kelly had gotten Brandon, Brandon had gotten Tracy who had come in time for the drawing and Dylan…my sweet Dylan got no other than Kelly fucking Taylor. Clearly, my Beverly Hills luck was showing proud. Yeah it was good to be home…NOT.

The following day, us girls had made plans to go Christmas shopping, the boys were going as well on their own and Dylan had made plans to surf in the morning. We were planning on meeting at the After dark later in the evening to continue celebrating and for me to see the club that was now owned by both David and Valerie. Dylan was picking up his mom and Erica. We planned to meet up with Brandon to pick up my parents later as well before meeting at the club, it was a packed day. You could tell Valerie wouldn't have came with us if I wasn't there. It was myself, Donna, Kelly, Valerie and Tracy. Valerie and Tracy walking together as Donna walked with Kelly. I felt very in the middle of this group and I wasn't exactly sure why. We decided to get some lunch before going to the joke store I knew was in the mall. I had Steve for the gift exchange and I figured I could get him something fun from there. We ordered salads and I ate in silence sitting at a table with these four women that I'm pretty sure all didn't remotely like each other.

"So Bren…how did Dylan propose? I bet it was really romantic?" Donna dug at her chef salad.

I smiled and looked around the table, "He asked in Paris at sunrise, it _was_ romantic." I smiled.

Every single girl at the table smiled, love struck almost expect Kelly. She continued to fork her food, her head down.

"He took me for a romantic weekend in Paris and we ate, we danced all night and as we were walking across the Pont Alexandre III bridge, he proposed." I wasn't going to hold back my moment that all these ladies expect one wanted to hear.

"Oh Bren." Donna gushed.

"Bout fucking time." Valerie said as she sipped her mimosa. "When I was in London."

"You went to London?" Kelly said looking up quickly.

Valerie smiled, "Yeah I did…Brenda and Dylan are so happy. She has Dylan domesticated, I didn't even recognize him, he's writing music." the girls eyes met mine.

"Writing music?" Donna asked shocked.

"He's been writing yes." I didn't want to get into this.

Kelly's eyes met mine, she looked like she had been punched in the face. I was so confused at her behavior. I also knew Valerie wanted to hurt her at any cost and that was hint enough to know why Valerie was saying these things, she continued. "Anyway…they have an amazing apartment and fun…hot, musical friends. You guys have a good set up there." Valerie looked to her salad and took a bite.

"We do." I agreed with a nod. "You guys should come visit." I added. They all nodded politely without saying anything, I guess I didn't expect them to really come out.

"So Brenda are you guys getting married here in LA or London, have you set a date?" Tracy asked sweetly.

"We haven't set a date yet…this trip was our way of telling everyone and spreading the news. I'm in a play that opens next month, so we'll see. It will probably be next year. I think I want to get married in London. It's our home."

"Well that will be a good time to visit then." I looked at Kelly with wide eyes surprised she even spoke. "Let me ask you Brenda…you aren't worried that it may be too soon?" I stared at her until she continued, "I mean Dylan was married before and we know how that turned out, you don't think he's rushing with you? I mean he only got married a year ago?" Jesus here we go.

"Kel." Donna shook her head, disappointed in her no matter how close they were.

"You know Kelly, I wish I picked you for our gift exchange because I just thought of the perfect gift for you…a new personality." Valerie said rolling her eyes.

"What…it's a serious question." Kelly said defensive.

"You're right it is Kel, Dylan and I have only been back together for a year, I get it. It's really different this time with him. We've known each other for a long time and dated before, we've been close friends, it's not like we don't know each other. This time were more grown up, we've been living together, practically married anyway and it's been amazing. If Dylan is ready to get married again then thats not really your business is it? We love each other very much. I wish you could be happy for us." I said as honest as possible. I wasn't going to call Kelly out on her attitude but maybe it was time I did.

"Here here." Valerie said proud, of course she would like this. "I saw them, they are the real deal. I'm telling you, Dylan is another guy then we all know. He's different."

"I'm sure he is and I am happy for you Bren, I just worry it's a rebound from Toni. I mean did he even grieve…it's like he took off and went straight to London and bam you guys are back together."

"What is your problem Kelly?" I said with attitude.

"I don't have a problem Brenda, I'm being a friend, this is a serious concern."

"A concerned friend? You?" I almost laughed at that.

"Sounds like a jealous friend, what Kelly can't make up your mind again…hmm Brandon or Dylan?" Valerie's voice condescending.

"Wait Brandon?" Tracy looked at Kelly hurt.

"Oh my God…you guys haven't changed a bit." I reached into my wallet grabbing a twenty dollar bill. I got up and tossed it on the table, "Thanks for the walk down memory lane." I took off in hopes to at least get some gifts out of the way. I had my parents, Iris, Erica, Dylan, Brandon and Steve to get gifts for and I was over the drama.

"Nice going Kelly." I heard Valerie say but I didn't comment or pretend I even heard. As I walked away with tears brimming my eyes I thought about how much money it would cost to change our flights to leave back to London after Christmas instead. I vaguely heard sweet donna utter, Come on Bren…don't go. Fuck it.

A couple hours later I had finished my shopping. I got Steve a funny coffee table book, or bathroom book called F in exams and it was a hilariously funny book that explores some of the best wrong answers ever given on tests. I thought it fitting and very entertaining, I also got him a corvette keychain and set of pens for school that when you clicked the top to make the ball point come down it took the women's bathing suit off showing a naked girl. Thirty dollars and Steve was done. I had gotten my parents gifts, a spa massage certificate that my mom could use here in LA during her stay and a mini karaoke machine for my dad. I'm sure my mom was going to hurt me later, hopefully the massage relaxed her. I got Erica an adorable outfit and Iris a gorgeous turquoise bracelet. Brandon got a new watch, a techy little thing I know he'd enjoy. Dylan was the only one left on my list and his gift besides the engraving was done. Brandon had given me back Dylan's father's pocket watch, it had been left in Mexico to pay Dylan's bar and hotel bill but he had gotten it back. He had given it to Brandon and I was giving it back to its rightful owner. I had gotten a small charm to add to the one I had given to him from France and just had to pick it up tomorrow. The inscription was to read, In you, I've found, the love of my life and my closest friend. I couldn't believe I was done, maybe I was more determined because of the mess with the girls but when I walked into Dylan's house with all my bags, I was so happy to be there. I plopped on the couch and cried. All the pent up frustration from my lunch with the girls finally being freed. I felt so much older now, more mature, how come Kelly hadn't grown up in these past few years? Why did she feel she had some claim on Dylan? I don't think I'd ever understand her. I was sad that her reaction to us getting married wasn't a happy one and I was sad I wanted to come home to this. I heard Dylan use his key to open the front door. I wiped my eyes quickly hoping he didn't notice with the bags and sorts he was carrying but I was wrong. The bags hit the ground with a thud.

"Brenda…whats wrong?" He asked sitting next to me, pulling me into his chest.

"Nothing…it wasn't a good day with the girls."

He pulled out from me looking into my eyes, "What happened?"

I wiped under my nose, "Kelly…was being Kelly I guess."

His face looked angry all of a sudden, "What did she say to you?"

"Dylan it's not important. What time are we leaving to get Iris?"

"The hell it isn't important Bren, you're upset, what did she say?"

"It was nothing." I really didn't want to tell him because it wasn't important to me at all.

"Brenda…bullshit, I want to know." He was serious and I could tell he was getting pissed. So I told him what she had said at lunch. About rebounding and Toni, let's just say getting pissed wasn't the right wording he was livid. I talked him down since Dylan acted like he wanted to head straight over the beach apartment and tell her off. We didn't have time for that and I would talk to Kelly later at the after dark, this was between Kelly and I, not Dylan.

We picked up Iris and Erica and took them to their hotel. We also made reservations at the hotel restaurant for a late dinner so we could eat with my parents after picking them up from the airport. I had hoped telling our families would be easier and a more happy conversation than apparently it was for Kelly. This trip couldn't be a total bust could it? I didn't know anymore. Also unfortunately we had agreed to meet the gang for drinks at the After Dark later. I felt like this trip was heading into the disaster zone. At least I got a good couch make out from Dylan before he surprised me in the shower. At least we were still us in LA. That was a familiar that I enjoyed, everything else was a crappy familiar of jealousy and triangles. Was it January 3rd yet?

 _Next up dinner with the Walsh's and Iris. Brenda and Dylan share their news. Also a meet up at the after dark. Brenda has an interesting chat with Kelly. How do you think it will go? How do you think the parentals will handle the nuptials? Hit review let me know. Anyone surprised by Kelly's reaction? There is a little plot twist regarding that, I wont give details though. HEHE_


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

 _You've asked me to forgive you_

 _For you're sorry as can be_

 _And you never had intentions_

 _Of ever hurting me_

 _I've thought about it endlessly_

 _The way you made me feel_

 _So angry, sad and disappointed_

 _I just wished it wasn't real!_

 _But I've finally come to realize_

 _That you've been hurting too_

 _And there's alot of deep-down healing_

 _For both of us to do_

 _So I hope that you and I together_

 _Can make a brand new start_

 _I love you dearly - always will!_

 _And I forgive you with all my heart!_

I kissed her soft skin as I stood behind her as she got ready in my bathroom, I trailed my tongue against her neck as she leaned it to the side. She let out a soft moan and I smiled against her skin.

"Dylan…we don't have time for this." She said in a stern voice, I knew she was acting because she was turned on. I could practically sense the heat between her thighs.

I sighed against her ear, "I know…but I can't help it. You look amazing." I whispered with my eyes closed taking in her sweet scent.

She bend over slightly letting her ass push me away which made my dick harder, "Come on Dylan…I'm serious." Now there was a foot between us and I looked at her in the mirror as she fastened the back of her earring. "You ready? I told Brandon we would swing by and pick him up on the way to the hotel." She continued fussing with her hair.

"Yep." I said as I put my hands in my pockets the only way I wouldn't touch her again.

I admired her, she did look amazing. She was wearing something new she had gotten at the mall today. It was black and form fitting, short and strapless. I had commented on it earlier making a joke thinking she was dressing pretty sexy to have dinner with our family but she huffed and said it was more for the club after, and we wouldn't have time to come home to change. She didn't seem to like my joke, she looked fine but ever since she had been asking me if it was too too sexy. Maybe it was, I hadn't been able to keep my hands or my lips to myself since seeing her in it.

She walked out of the bathroom probably looking for her shoes, being barefoot. I knew Brenda was nervous. She was fine when we went to pick up Iris and Erica, then she got a little anxious when we were leaving to get her parents. She even left her engagement ring off on purpose to go to the airport. I had noticed right away and asked her, she had said she would wear it to dinner but that if she wore it to the airport they would notice. I thought it was silly but I didn't make a big deal about it. She stopped at the bathroom door, shoes on now and her purse fitted under her arm, "Let's go." she motioned her head.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" I noticed in an instant.

"I don't think so." She looked down at her dress before meeting my eyes.

I grabbed her left hand gently bring it up, "Your ring."

"Oh shit." She rushed into the bedroom.

"That's all I need is for you to tell Jim were getting married without a ring." I fussed with my hair looking in the mirror at myself. I straighten my tie and brushed down my suit jacket.

Brenda appeared in the doorway again, engagement ring in tow. "Like he would he care." she smiled and shook her head.

"You know what Bren." I moved closer to her, "Maybe not but when it comes to your father, anything helps and if I'm not anything else I could at least be traditional." I looked at the ceiling wrapping my arms around her small waist. "I should have called and asked for permission, for your hand."

Brenda laughed and leaned in kissing me softly after our eyes met, she leaned out and I went after her neck again, "Mmmm you aren't the asking for permission kind of guy Dylan." she sighed enjoying my assault. She pushed me gently, "Come on. You know there's always traffic no matter what time it is." She left the bathroom and after taking a deep breath I followed.

"Here goes nothing." I murmured. Now I was nervous, damn it.

Brenda was right there was freaking traffic but we arrived at the hotel restaurant just a few minutes late. Brandon followed us to the hostess.

"Nervous Bren?" he smirked and Brenda gave him a dirty look.

"Why should I be?" she acted dumb.

"Oh I don't know, maybe you and Dylan being only 22 years old are about to tell your parents your getting married? The same father mind you that broke you up." Brenda groaned and Brandon laughed.

"Thanks B…you're a big help." I sighed now feeling my heart beat faster.

"Why were you nervous or did you even tell mom and dad when you proposed to Kelly?" Oh Brenda…good one.

Brandon looked at her, "Ha ha…you got me." he sighed and rolled his eyes, Brenda won this round for sure. Poor Bren didn't know Brandon was having girl troubles. He kind of deserved it, the smart ass comments weren't hurtful but still I enjoyed their sibling banter.

We all followed the hostess to the table. Our families already sitting and smiling and talking.

Iris, Jim and Cindy stood up as we approached, "Oh sweetie you look beautiful." Cindy hugged Brenda hello.

"Thanks mom. Hi dad." Brenda turned to her father and hugged him.

"Sir." I held out my hand in which Jim met with a business like handshake.

"How you doing son?" Smiled Jim. Thank god. Going okay. I answered with a simple great and moved around the the table greeting my mother and sister with a hug and kiss on the cheek and Brandon and Brenda followed my lead before finally joining the table and sitting in our seats.

"Iris and I were just catching up, it's been way too long." Cindy smiled a friendly smile at my mother.

"It really has…it's so funny though no matter how much time goes by we pick up exactly where we left off." Cindy nodded.

"So Brandon…you seeing anyone?" Jim broke the mom love.

Brandon cleared his throat, "Really you're asking me about women dad?"

Jim shrugged, "Well…you know…it's hard to keep up with you sometimes, seems like you are always seeing someone." Brandon rolled his eyes behind his menu.

Brenda looked at me, I knew what she was thinking. Usually Brenda was the one being picked on somehow.

"How's London you two? Cold this time of year isn't it? You both should come to Maui this Spring, it's beautiful in the May." Iris changed the silent awkwardness.

Brenda smiled, "That would be awesome." she looked at me.

I nodded, "It would be." Brenda laying on the beach all week in a bikini, count me in. I leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Destination wedding?" I joked and Brenda smiled as I kissed her cheek.

"Just tell me when you're ready, it's paradise." Iris sang, "Right Erica my treehouse on top of a pineapple mountain?"

"Yeah…I guess." she sighed doing the teenager thing looking bored. I chuckled.

We carried on conversation for while. Weirdly Jim and Brandon argued back and forth, something about Jim being upset Brandon was thinking about stopping campus politics. Also Brandon had gotten into some kind of cheating trouble which was Steve's fault, that wasn't surprising. Anyway I guess he went up against the chancellor and everything, it was all a mistake fortunately but the tension between them was evident and sort of uncomfortable. The waiter came around and everyone at the table ordered a glass of wine but myself and Erica. Coke's would do for the two McKay kids. I noticed Brenda drank half her glass quickly, I rubbed her back softly knowing she was still feeling that anxiety. Dinner was good, everyone was in deep conversation, so far it was a pleasant night even with the weird Jim/Brandon issue. Brenda told everyone about her new play, even Jim was satisfied with my writing and traveling answer when he asked what I was doing with my time. I'm sure he figured I wasn't working a 9 to 5. As the plates were being cleared and the Walsh's were contemplating dessert I rubbed Brenda's bare leg under the table and she looked at me. She knew I was silently asking her when we were going to do this. Here dinner was done, Brenda was hiding her left hand as much as possible and I just honestly wanted to get it over with. I figured how much could Jim yell in public? I raised my eyebrows at her and gave her a nod. Brenda cleared her throat. She grabbed her wine glass with her right hand and took one last sip, "Dylan and I have an announcement to make." Every single person stopped their conversations and looked at us. I swallowed hard and looked at Brenda, she smiled a sweet smile and me, which I returned. Her eyes full of love and suddenly my nervousness didn't seem so daunting.

"We wanted to get you guys all together so we can share it with the most important people in our lives, our families." I smiled and made eye contact with my mom. Iris looked deep within and smiled wide, she knew, not sure how but she did.

"What is it honey?" Jim said nicely looking at us, he didn't look mad…yet.

Brenda took a deep breath and looked over at me again this time I wrapped my free arm around her shoulders and brought her closer to me, she looked out at our families again, "Dylan and I are engaged, were getting married!" I squeezed her into my side.

"What?" Jim and Cindy said at the same time. Jim a shocked expression, Cindy not surprised at all.

"I knew it!" Iris said happily. I had never heard the sound that came out of my mother and sister before, it was a half scream slash excited squeal. It was weird and it made me chuckle lightly. Iris and Erica hugged each other excitedly. Brenda brought her left hand out from under the table and held her hand out to Cindy, Jim and Iris. Iris practically bounced out of her seat and rushed us. She gushed over Brenda's ring, finally scooping both of us into her arms giving us a hug, "This is the best news I've heard in a long time." she whispered, "I love you both…congratulations."

Brenda's smile was huge as she hugged Iris again and whispered thank you. I knew my mother would approve, we had yet to hear any form of congrats from the ones I was nervous about, Jim and Cindy. Iris made it back to her seat and my eyes locked with Jim. He didn't look upset, but he did look surprised.

"Mom…Dad?" Brenda moved her left hand closer to her parents now.

Cindy took her hand inspecting, "Oh Brenda." she whispered, "It's gorgeous." she responded. Then she looked at me, tears in her eyes and slowly smiled at me.

"Wow." Jim laughed a bit almost uncomfortable, "I have to admit…I wasn't expecting that." his hand went to his tie as he loosened it a bit. Shit.

"We haven't set a date or anything." Brenda tired to pussy foot around nervously, "I know were young but…"

"Brenda…please let me finish." Jim said calmly. "I was just surprised."

"You aren't gonna yell? You're not mad?"

Jim shook his head, "No…it's yours and Dylan's decision, it's your life together not mine."

"It is?" Both me and Brenda spoke at the same time. We looked at each other shock written on both our faces.

Jim looked at Cindy and they smiled at each other. "Gosh am I that much of a tyrant?" Jim said almost hurt.

Brenda shrugged and laughed uncomfortably, "Um no dad you aren't it's just you haven't been the most supportive person when it came to my relationship with Dylan." Brenda was calm but straight forward. Sadly she was right on the money.

Jim nodded, "I know…and I'm sorry about that. The truth is…you guys are adults, you're living in London together, Brenda you've finished school. I think it's great that you two want to make this step together." Jim looked around the table then shrugged, "I have to admit when I got the call about this trip and heard how adamant you were about us coming out here, I kind of knew you guys had something important you wanted to share. I actually owe your mom $20." Jim huffed. Cindy sneakered.

"You bet on us sir?" I asked curious. This was surreal.

"Well yeah…truthfully, I kind of thought…I don't know maybe you were pregnant Brenda?"

Brenda's eyes widened and she looked at me, "Why does everyone think that?' she said low but everyone heard and smiled. I hadn't a clue. "No seriously?" she looked back at everyone. Brandon shoulders were shaking from laughing and Erica blushed. My mother looked annoyingly happy.

Jim looked at us long and hard, "I was around when you were younger…I just…never mind." he didn't want to say but we knew what he meant. He meant he saw us unable to keep our hands off each other when we were younger.

"Ew dad." Brenda commented with a shake of her head embarrassed. Iris, Cindy and Erica giggled. Yeah my mother giggled. She was very girly tonight.

Jim stumbled, "You know what I mean. You're older now and living together…" again he stopped.

Brenda reached out and set her hand on her fathers shoulder, "I get it dad." she said with humor now. It was pretty comical seeing Jim stumble around this particular topic.

Jim's hand went over Brenda's lovingly, "I'm happy for you sweetie. If you are ready and Dylan is ready." he looked at me, questioning his eyebrows lifting.

"Oh I am sir, I've never been more ready to spend the rest of my life with Bren. I'll take good care of her sir." I answered confident. I felt seventeen again, thanking Jim for letting Brenda come to Baja with me. It was weird how much I respected and feared this man all at the same time.

"I know you will son." Jim smiled at me, "Well then." Jim grabbed his wine glass and the whole table followed, "Cheers and congratulations." clink clink clink you heard around the table. I leaned in and took Brenda's lips to mine in sweet peck. We closed our eyes leaning my forehead against hers, I took that moment to whisper, "I love you Bren."

"I love you too." she whispered back kissing me again over and over. When we pulled ourselves away from each other we looked around the table at everyone smiling and staring at us. At that moment in time, I was so happy Brenda wanted to come home to LA to tell them. This feeling I had in my heart was overwhelming and I had finally felt accepted by the Walsh's. I would never forget it as long as I lived.

BPOV

Dinner was amazing, my parents and Iris and Erica were amazingly supportive…all in all it was a great night. My dad was the most shocking. I knew my mom would be happy or passive, I knew Iris would be literally over the moon. My dad I have to admit worried me. He always had a soft spot but at the same time was very hard on Dylan and even though I knew we were older that feeling of his disapproval hung in my heart. Maybe it was silly but I just wasn't sure how it was going to go. As we congregated outside of the restaurant saying our goodbyes, my father was the first to hug me.

"I'm so proud of you Brenda. You are really doing well for yourself." He squeezed me tightly before letting me go. A tear escaped my eye at that moment, an overwhelming warmth spreading through me. "Everything you wanted is coming true. You've been living in London, acting, touring the world, you finished school and now you have a future planned with Dylan. I'm pretty damn proud of you."

"Thanks dad. It means a lot to me to hear you say that, I'm lucky and I have never been happier." I said to him, "Dylan has been amazing to me. Things are good, different. I think he is even happy in London, which because of the lack of ocean is pretty awesome." Jim laughed.

My father looked over at Dylan, who was in conversation with my mom and Iris. "He's been okay after everything? I thought about him a lot after I heard about Antonia. Dylan has been through too much for someone his age. He's been good?"

I smiled at my dad, I knew what he was asking and I was proud to answer. "Dylan has been remarkable dad. He doesn't drink, he's been writing, helping out around the apartment. It's honestly better than I ever dreamed." I laughed, "I feel like he has it together more than myself at times. He is a good man dad, he is supportive and protective, he takes care of me, he's like you."

My father looked proudly back in Dylan's direction. He must have felt our stares because he looked over at us and gave us the most breathtaking smile. My father's attention went back to me. He cupped my cheek tendering and pressed his lips together, almost holding back tears. Pride and sadness on his face. I knew my dad well enough to know the sadness was because I was grown up and doing well. I wasn't his little girl anymore and after years and years of fighting and telling him I wasn't. I now proved it. My dad joined the rest of the group away from me as I watched him talk to Dylan. Shaking his hand that ended with a hug, my mother in happy tears gushing over him as well. My parents finally accepting Dylan as my guy, the man that they had feared would take me away was and they were happy about it. Accepting my love for him and him as a person in general. My heart swelled with pride and by the look on Dylan's face, he felt it too. All Dylan ever wanted was to be good enough in their eyes for me and finally he was. Shortly after our goodbyes we headed to the After Dark. At this point in time, I was so happy with how the night went with my parents. I didn't give 5 shits about Kelly and her judgmental bullshit. I was excited to let loose a little and celebrate this amazing night with my oldest friends, my brother and the great love of my life.

We made our way into the club, which was packed because of the time. Since dinner was so late we made it there a little after ten. Brandon had led the way to two tables that were in the middle of all the action raised above the dance floor, overlooking the bar. The club was pretty cool, I was proud of David and Valerie, the club looked really nice and I'd imagine was doing well by the looks of it. I followed up the few steps to the table and was greeted by Steve.

"Finally…I thought you Walsh's would never get here. Brenda…Dylan you remember Claire?"

Dylan and I nodded and said hello. Guess they were back on. I was happy for Steve, he had been dating Claire for a long time, he must be crazy about her.

"I heard congratulations are in order." Claire said loud over the music, "Brenda let me see this ring Donna has been talking about." she grabbed my hand inspecting.

Steve whistled, "Damn McKay…that must be close to 3 carats."

Dylan shifted nervously, "Something like that." he was always weird about money. He didn't have a problem spending it but it was obvious he didn't like talking about it.

"You can take the boy out of Beverly Hills but you can't take the Beverly hills out of the boy." Steve joked. I heard Dylan sigh.

"Don't listen to him Dylan…it's gorgeous. I'm happy for you guys."

"I was only kidding." Steve seemed hurt.

"We know you Steve." I joked which caused his eyes to light up as he smiled. "Thanks Claire. Where is everyone else?" I looked around.

"Donna, David and Kelly went to get some drinks…you guys want anything?" Steve offered.

"I got it Steve." Dylan looked to me, "What do you want Bren?" he asked.

I smiled a guilty smile and he rolled his eyes knowingly. I wanted to celebrate which meant I wanted whiskey and ginger ale. He knew that meant I was getting drunk tonight. "I'll be back." he called out over the music kissing me on the temple before making his way to the bar. At that moment I looked around. I watched him greet Donna, David and Kelly with hugs as he caught up with them at the bar. I watched Dylan's interaction with Kelly, he seemed aloof, Kelly seemed extra smiley which was a change for her this trip, it made me wonder if she was that way because I wasn't around. I was trying to be mature and calm but the word bitch flashed across my mind a handful of times. Claire and Brandon brought my mind away from staring asking me questions about London and my new play. Their timing was actually pretty good, because I was getting jealous and that was just absurd. By the time Dylan came back with a beer for Brandon, my drink and his club soda it was hard to be angry anymore as I felt kisses down my neck and Dylan's undivided attention back on me. I felt so stupid to let her make me feel insecure. Dylan was mine, he was in love with me, he asked me to marry him not Kelly. He had been nothing but faithful to me since we got back together. God I was lame. I had finished two cocktails while we all caught up and Dylan had pulled me on to the dance floor.

"You having a good time? You've been pretty quiet since we got here." Dylan looked into my eyes.

I smiled, "I'm great." I was great and I wasn't going to admit the thoughts I was having. They were indeed stupid. "Tonight was a good night." I kissed him hard on the lips.

"Yes…it was." he smiled back at me. "I'm so happy Bren…thank you for coming home and doing this. It's meant more to me than I had even imagined." Dylan admitted.

I tilted my head to the side and looked at him, "Of course, I'm glad we came back to tell everyone too." Dylan leaned in taking my lips to his again. Much more urgency and heat behind it. My hands went to his face his neck as I deepened the kiss. I moaned softly as we separated and he pulled me tightly against him. I laid my head against his chest as our bodies swayed to the music. Finally opening my eyes I caught Kelly staring at us, I stared back lifeless. Something had to be said. I was over this shit.

"How long do you want to stay?" Dylan whispered his lips pressed against my ear. Chills ran down my body, his voice needy with lust. I felt his lips kiss and suck along my neck and shoulder, it was obvious Dylan liked my naked neck and shoulders in this strapless dress.

I pulled away from him, looking into his eyes, "One more drink?" as much as I wanted Dylan to tease me on that dance floor I had to handle Kelly. He smirked and gave me a nod and went towards the bar. I turned to face Kelly again, she was still sadly staring at us. I calmly walked towards her.

"Hey Bren." Kelly said in a calm voice.

"You got a second Kel? Is there somewhere we can talk for a second?" my stare cold.

She visibly swallowed hard and nodded, she leaned over whispered something to David and Val and they both nodded. "Go ahead." Valerie said as she looked at me. Curious…excited even. Kelly motioned with her head and I followed her down the lane of tables over to a staircase. We quietly climbed them until we came to a door which Kelly opened stepping aside for me to enter. It was the office, and now everything made sense on what she had asked them. She closed the door behind her the music from downstairs was suddenly muffled. It was awkwardly quiet.

"Everything ok?" Kelly asked sweetly as she crossed her arms.

"No Kelly…everything isn't ok." She looked surprised by my tone, "What is your problem Kelly, what is your problem with Dylan and me?"

She shook her head a little, "I don't have a problem with you and Dylan Brenda." her tone now matched mine.

"Really? So are you normally a judgmental bitch when one of your friends tells you she is getting married? Or maybe it's because of the groom? Maybe you can't stand the fact Dylan came back to me, that we are happy again, maybe you can't stand the fact Dylan asked me to marry him and not you?"

Kelly bit her lip and shook her head. "I can't believe this." she whispered.

"What is it? You've been quiet and judgey since Dylan and I got here. Why cant you be happy for me…for us? Are you that selfish…" I was yelling.

"Hey!" Kelly yelled back and took a couple steps toward me interrupting my rant, "You have this so completely wrong Brenda." her eyes filled with tears but she kept her hard expression. "You are so wrong." her voice broke.

"Admit it Kelly…you hate that it's me. You're still in love with Dylan and you hate everything about this. Why was it ok for him to marry Toni and now because its me you're sulking?" a low sob broke from my throat, "Aren't you tired of this fighting and jealousy?" tears rolled down my cheeks. I loved Kelly, I did, even after all the shit we had been through. I didn't understand how two strong independent women could be so at odds for so long.

Kelly was openly crying now. She wasn't hiding the tears and either was I. "I am jealous of you Brenda…I have admitted it before and I'm admitting it now. But it's not the reason you think." She wiped her face quickly and took a deep breath and paused before she continued, "I'm not in love with Dylan. I think you two are amazing together. You look happy and when I was watching you dance down there, it was like you guys were in high school again. The same lovingly looks and kisses we all saw through out the time you were dating. I am happy for you…both of you."

I huffed surprised, "Then what the hell Kel?"

"I love Brandon." she blurted out, then looked down shyly. "I look at the two of you and it reminds me that two years ago, I could of had all of that." Kelly covered her face as she broke down and I walked toward her. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her as she broke down my arms sobbing.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to her feeling badly. "I'm so sorry Kel." I broke the hug and we looked at each other.

She shook her head, "Don't be sorry Bren. You had every right to confront me with this." She sighed and walked over to the couch on the opposite side of the wall and plopped down. "I messed everything up. When Brandon asked me to marry him, I choose me because I didn't want the same thing that happened to us to happen to Dylan and Brandon, that was my worst fear. We were so close Bren, and I messed it up. I couldn't do to them what I did to us."

I walked over and sat next to her. I reached for her hands and resting mine on top of hers. My ring catching the light from above, sparkling. Kelly laughed suddenly.

"That's a huge ass ring Brenda." she giggled again and I joined her. Breaking the seriousness of this whole conversation.

"God…I know." I said continuing to crack up, as I shook my head. Kelly leaned her head on my shoulder as the laughs died down, both of us catching our breath and sighing loudly.

"I'm so sorry Brenda. For letting my own issues make you feel this way, and for being." she air quoted with her fingers, "a judgmental bitch at lunch. I am truly happy for you." we looked at each other and she smiled a tight smile. "Please don't tell brandon what I told you."

I took a deep breath, "I wont." Kelly nodded and got up and I followed, "But." she turned around her eyes nervous, "I think you should."

"Bren…" she shook her head, "it's just…so complicated."

I smiled and walked toward her, I wrapped my arm around her and lead the way to the door. I reached for it and opened it. The music becoming louder, "It always is Kel…it always is but it doesn't mean we shouldn't be honest with ourselves and the people we love."

Kelly took a deep breath and nodded, "I'll think about it." she finally smiled wide. The first genuine smile I has seen from Kelly since I had been here, maybe even before that. I kept my arm around her as we walked down the stairs and back to our table. I told her about telling my parents tonight and how they took it, we laughed as we came to the table buddy buddy so to speak.

"There you guys are…what's so funny?" Donna smiled and both Kelly and I shook our heads reassuring Donna she hadn't missed anything.

"I thought we'd have to barge in there and bust up a cat fight…not that I would have rushed to break it up." Valerie said smugly.

I looked at the curious eyes of our friends then my eyes landed on Dylan's. He looked worried and concerned.

"Sorry to disappoint you Valerie, Bren and I just had some catching up to do." Kelly brought back her tough girl exterior and winked at me. We weren't fooling anyone, you could tell we had been crying.

I smiled at Dylan and walked up to him reaching my arm around his waist at his side. He kissed the top of my head, "Everything ok?" he whispered. "I got you that drink."

I looked up at Dylan, a million butterflies fluttered in the pit of my belly. I was so in love with him. His expression softened seeing the look. The one we knew by heart, his favorite one and he returned his. "Everything is perfect." I said back.

Valerie sighed loudly, "Whatever." she dragged out disappointed.

I chuckled and watched Valerie huff down the steps and head to the back of the bar. I watched Brandon and Kelly talk. Assuming Brandon was asking her the same thing Dylan asked me, if she was ok. She nodded and smiled, batting her eyes at him. My brother to me was an open book. He was clearly in love with her still. How could Kelly not see it?

"Come here." Dylan pulled me into him, planting a kiss on my nose. "So everything is good between you and Kelly?" he looked at me still a little concerned, I knew he didn't like when Kelly and I fought or made a thing about the past. I looked toward Kelly and Brandon again. Kelly blushed as Brandon wrapped his arm around her. He was being friendly and flirty as he kissed her temple quickly. It looked as though he was giving her a hard time as she smiled shyly, enjoying his attention.

"Yeah…it will be." My eyes locking with Dylan's again. Relief evident on his face. I leaned up and deeply kissed him as my arms wrapped tightly around his neck, trying to get closer to him. His mouth parted breathing into my mouth as I took the opportunity to slide my tongue against his. He pulled me tighter against him, getting lost in the kiss.

We smiled mid kiss, this had been a really good night. "Take me home Dylan." I whispered against his lips. His eyes looking deeply into mine. His hand clasped mine tightly and I was pulled quickly to the exit. Urgency in his rush to get me home. I looked back at our friends as I was being pulled to see their smiling faces.

"Bye guys." I yelled to them.

"Bye you crazy horn dogs." Steve yelled back, the group laughed and carried on in conversation.

Soon after we were in the Porsche heading to Dylan's house going way above the speed limit. Dylan having one hand on the steering wheel the other on my thigh, rubbing needy circles into my skin, groping me. Mine rubbing him through his suit pants, he was painfully hard. Yeah it was going to be that kind of night, with seconds and thirds to boot. I couldn't freaking wait! Either could Dylan apparently because as soon as he parked and we got out, I was literally thrown over his shoulders and carried like a cave woman inside the house. Clothes soon after thrown everywhere in the living room. We didn't make it to the bedroom, instead mail littered the floor from the kitchen table where Dylan laid me down and took me over and over again in a need to be inside me. We'd eventually make it to the bedroom for seconds, maybe thirds I didn't care as long as I was with this amazing man that finally felt all mine.

 _Sooooo there you go. Was it what you imagined? Some of you totally guessed it right. Please review. Next is Christmas at the Walsh house and a little twin bonding. I think LA will be maybe 2 more chapters, we'll see. I love writing about BD in London, but this trip is pretty fun to write and getting the gang back together is always fun. Thank you guys for reading and for your reviews, you are the best!_


	36. Chapter 36

_One of my faithful readers pointed out Dylan and Brenda, both having fall birthdays would have been 22 not 21 yrs old. I apologize and didn't think of the timeline well enough. I changed it in the chapter but wanted to bring it up unless some of you caught it too. Thanks for looking out. This is a nice long chapter…all for you, all Brenda's point of view. A little Rated M for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!_

Chapter 36

 _I carry your heart with me_ _(_ _I carry it in_

 _my heart) I am never without it (anywhere_

 _I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done_

 _by only me is your doing,_ _my darling)_

 _I fear_ _no fate_ _(for you are my fate, my sweet)_

 _I_ _want_ _no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)_

 _and it_ _'_ _s you are whatever a moon has always meant_

 _and whatever a sun will always sing is you_

 _Here is the deepest secret nobody knows_

 _(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud_

 _and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows_

 _higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)_

 _and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart_

 _I carry your heart_ _(_ _I carry it in my heart)_

 _E. E. Cummings_

I played with the bedspread on Brandon's bed. I had been thinking of how weird it seemed. Here I sat in my parents old room, now Brandon's and I couldn't help contemplating life and how odd it is sometimes. I had spend the morning thinking about what Kelly had said. Here I was going off on her and it wasn't about Dylan at all, it was about Brandon. I knew I promised Kelly I wouldn't say anything to Brandon and I was going to keep that promise. But now being here with my brother, I was thinking of a way to put it out there without actually telling him. Dylan had gone surfing this morning and he was going to meet Iris and Erica at the pit for a late breakfast. He of course invited me but I had told him to go spend time with his family and I was going to spend some time with my brother. He dropped me off on his way to the beach and here I was waiting for Brandon to finish getting ready so we could head to the grocery store to pick up some last minute stuff for Christmas Eve. We were going to exchange our gifts tonight, just the gang and tomorrow we would celebrate Christmas day as a whole. There were a lot of people coming here. I didn't want all the cooking to fall on my mother.

"Bren." Brandon called out from the bathroom, "Can you hand me a pair of socks and a white t-shirt from the top two drawers of my dresser?" he called out.

"Yeah Bran." I took myself out of my head and walked over to Brandon's dresser in search of what he asked for. I opened up the top drawer and grabbed a pair of paired up socks. I closed it and opened the second drawer opening it quickly as it revealed Brandon's t-shirt's. I lifted the first two shirts looking for a white one. Searching into the second folded stack I felt a box. I grabbed it taking it out of the drawer looking curiously at why Brandon had a black velvet ring box in his dresser. I looked toward the bathroom door, no sight of Brandon opening it. I looked back down and with my right hand grabbed the top pulling it open. There sat a beautiful round 2 1/2 carat solitaire diamond ring, set in a simple thick platinum setting. Oh my god this was Kelly's ring.

"Bren…did you find it?" Brandon called out as I nervously shut the top of the ring box.

"Yeah." I grabbed the revealed white t-shirt and closed the dresser drawer quickly. I held the ring box behind my back as I went towards the bathroom door and knocked, "Here Bran." he opened it a foot freshly showered in boxers, barefoot, shirtless obviously waiting for me to hand him the articles he asked for. I smiled an awkward smile at him and handed over the shirt and socks.

"Thanks…you ok Bren?" He looked at me curiously. How come I could act out any character the director had given me but I couldn't make my face lie for 3 seconds to my brother.

I nodded too quickly, "Yeah…I'm good." I gripped the box behind my back tighter.

He chuckled thinking I was a weirdo probably and nodded, "Okie dokie." he commented and shut the door.

I breathed out the breathe I didn't know I was holding and walked back over to the bed. As I sat down I opened the ring box again admiring the ring Brandon had picked out for Kelly. It was beautiful and looked expensive. I thought about Brandon a couple years ago, he's a college student but we both had pretty good credit. I thought about how Brandon probably had to finance the hell out of this ring to afford such a diamond. I was caught up in my thoughts and as I was looking at the ring and thinking about how maybe I can help this situation the bathroom door swung open and there he stood, dressed now staring at me.

I looked up at him, as I held the back box. He took a couple steps towards me his eyes glancing down at what I was holding. I raised my eyebrows at him being caught but not sorry I did. The whole point of this trip besides the engagement announcement was to see my friends and spend time with my twin brother. I hadn't been back here in so long and even though we kept in touch, it wasn't the same not seeing each other everyday.

"It's a beautiful ring." I commented my voice low not quite sure how he was going to react. He told me to look in that drawer it wasn't like I was snooping, still I felt a little guilty.

Brandon sighed, "Yeah I thought it was." his hands went into his pockets as as he looked to his feet.

"You still have it?" I looked at my brother trying to use our connection to figure out what was going through his head, which seemed to be working a hundred miles a minute.

"It looks that way yes." Geez I hated this logical smart ass short side of Brandon.

I smirked at him, "Why?"

Brandon playfully rolled his eyes and shook his head, "No reason Bren, I forgot it was even in there. We should get going, the later we wait the more crowded the store will be since its Christmas Eve."

"Should I wrap it up, you can give it to Kelly for Christmas instead of that bracelet you got for Tracy." I could play the smart ass too.

Brandon laughed, "Funny."

"Brandon…talk to me, why do you have this ring still? You could have sold it? Got your money back, paid it off. Are you still making payments on this?"

Brandon's smiled faded, jokes and smart ass comments aside. He bit his lip gently and shrugged.

"You have to talk to Kelly." I closed the top of the ring box and looked at my brother in the eyes trying to tell him I was sincere.

"Look Bren…I love you but this is not your concern. Last night after Dylan and you left I met up with Tracy, we told each other we loved each other and we decided to make things official. Kelly has Mark and I want to see where this is going to go with Tracy. I adore her Brenda."

"You adore who Brandon?" I saw it in his eyes, he wasn't in love with Tracy, I had seen them together. It was forced and I saw through this. It was nothing like when I saw the flirting and looks between him and Kelly last night.

Brandon sighed and came over close to me plopping on the bed next to me. "What do you want me to say Bren?" Brandon's walls were slowly crumbling I knew I was getting somewhere.

"I want you to be honest Brandon with me and yourself, it's just me here. We used to talk about everything. It's been over 2 years since you proposed to Kelly, why did you keep this ring?"

"I tried to return it." He took a deep breath, "Last year….I went back to the jeweler with it ready to get my money back, which at the time I could have used. As I tried to hand it over, I couldn't."

"Because you love her." I said what we both knew was the reason.

Brandon let out an uncomfortable laugh, "It's not that easy Brenda…things with Kelly and I have always been complicated. Not everyone has an easy reunion like you and Dylan."

I laughed at that, "You think Dylan and I had an easy reunion?"

"Didn't you?" he looked over at me, I knew I had to be honest with Brandon if I expected him to be honest with me.

"Brandon…Dylan and I are the definition of complicated. Nothing is easy about true love Brandon…nothing. We have struggled for years about us and our feelings. Forgiveness on both sides, it has been anything but easy. We had to go through a lot to get where we are now. We both have had loss and joy away from each other but when it all comes down to it we are stronger together, we deeply love each other and we always have. It took us a long time to figure things out."

"I asked her to marry me and she turned me down. I was ready to spend my life with her and because of some stupid triangle bullshit she choose herself. Whatever the reason, not wanting to ruin Dylan and I's relationship it still stung. I had been with Kelly for a while. I thought we had something. I never thought I would lose her."

I smiled finding so much similarities in our situations, with the same people, it was so fucked up but I wouldn't have changed anything if it meant where we were now was suppose to happen.

"What if you haven't lost yet Brandon? What if she feels the same?" I knew I couldn't tell him, Kelly would never forgive me and I wanted Kelly and I to get back to where we used to be now that the whole Brenda/Dylan/Kelly shit was over.

Brandon chuckled and shook his head, "Brenda…I appreciate you being here for me but…I have to move on. Kelly has moved on…"

"Brandon…she hasn't." Fuck it.

He looked at me curiously, "What are talking about?"

"Kelly is still in love with you Brandon. She just told me last night." Brandon stared at me for what seemed like forever, processing.

"We should get going." And just like that, Brandon's wall came back up. I looked down at the black velvet box before meeting my brothers eyes again. He sadly smiled at me and motioned toward the door. He turned and walked out of his bedroom, I heard his foot steps down the stairs. I swallowed hard getting up walking over to Brandon's dresser, I opened the second drawer that held his t-shirts and gently placed the ring right on top. I took a deep breath closing the dresser drawer sadly and went to catch up with Brandon.

Almost everything was done as far as food goes. I heard the chatter in the living room from the kitchen and it made me happy to hear everyone laughing and having a good time. I loved my friends in London, I loved living there, but I couldn't help the warm feeling in my heart by us being all back together, even if it was only for a couple weeks. I took a deep breath grabbing my glass of champagne and taking a small sip. I had spent the whole day with Brandon and he never brought up the ring or Kelly for the remainder of the day. I didn't bring it up either, I had to trust the fact maybe Brandon was processing the Kelly still loves you issue and I had to wait for him to come to me. Sometimes people have to figure stuff out on their own. I grabbed the two bowls of sides and brought them to the table in the dining room. We had a bunch of food spread out I had hoped everyone would enjoy it. My parents had spend the early hours of the evening of Christmas Eve with us, along with Iris and Erica. My parents had left planning to come over in the morning to open presents and start preparing for Christmas day, they had planned a romantic dinner just the two of them for tonight, which I thought was so cute. Iris and Erica were still here waiting to eat and they were planning to head over in the morning as well. All of us as a group decided we would wait till the families went home to do our gift exchange and then we would really celebrate. I called out that food was ready, and it wasn't even a minute before everyone rushed the dining room making their plates to eat wherever they were comfortable. We congregated in the living room for the most part eating, drinking wine or champagne and reminiscing on old times. I again was so happy with my decision to have Dylan and I come out. It had a rough start but that part had faded quickly and now it seemed no time had really passed at all. I watched Brandon's interaction with Tracy, you could tell she was very much in love with him. She looked at him with goo-goo eyes and laughed at everything he said. I looked at Brandon who made jokes and smiled at her, but there was something missing from his eyes. I knew what it was. He wanted to love her, you could tell…but how could he fall in love with her if he was in love with someone else? My attention went to Kelly, which had been on the opposite side of the room. She chatted with Donna and Steve, smiling and seemingly having a good time. Her smile was forced though and every so often I would catch her glance in the direction of Tracy and Brandon and the forced smile would fade. I knew I shouldn't care as much as I did, I shouldn't get involved but I couldn't help it. Dylan was sitting next to me as he leaned forward setting his empty plate on the coffee table. His arm wrapped around me, as his hand gripped my hip, I turned to look at him. He smiled a sweet closed mouth smile at me and leaned in kissing me softly on the lips.

"Dinner was good Bren." he commented sweetly.

"Yes Bren…everything is incredible." Brandon chimed in. The rest of the group voiced their praises and I smiled shyly at the attention.

Iris stood up and gathered some empty plates from the coffee table, "Iris you don't have to do that." I said out loud.

"I know sweetie, I'm just grabbing these, thanks for including us. We're going to take off but I will see you guys in the morning." I nodded at Iris as she took most of the dishes to the kitchen. We all said good bye to them and as the front door closed Steve spoke up.

"Alright let's do this." he excitedly got up and started passing out the gifts from under the tree.

I sat close to Dylan on the couch cuddling into his side. He kissed my head a dozen times as I watched Steve and Donna pass out everything. We all had our present on our laps now. I looked down at the card which read To Brenda love Valerie. I looked up and caught Valerie's eye as she winked at me.

"Alright lets do this." Steve was like a little kid as the sounds of wrapping paper engulfed the room.

I ripped the wrapping paper quickly and opened the clothing box. I moved the tissue paper aside and my mouth dropped at the sight.

"What's that Bren?" Dylan leaned over peering into the box. "Oh yeah, thats what I'm talking about." he said low and throaty.

I held up the sexiest lingerie I had ever seen, it was black lace, completely see through, it was a corset with crotch less panties and a garter belt with hose. I blushed not being able to help it because of the audience.

Valerie smiled wide, "A little something from me to you, a Christmas/engagement gift you both can enjoy."

Dylan took his finger raising the panties from the box with split crotch and tilted his head observing them almost confused by the look of them. He grabbed the other side holding the tiny things up then it finally dawned on him what was missing. His eyes got wide as he looked at me causing me to giggle, excitement on his face. "Thank you Valerie." he said proudly.

Valerie smiled wide, "You are very welcome…enjoy." I smiled rolling my eyes and everyone around us laughed.

"Haha Brenda…this is great." cried Steve as he admired the pens, key chain and book. He opened it and read a few lines and cracked up out loud.

Brandon opened his gift from Kelly and he looked down with a small smile. He looked up at her, they shared a long linger I don't think anyone noticed but I did. As they stared at each other Tracy bumped her leg with Brandon's bringing his attention to her, "Brandon it's beautiful." she commented holding out the bracelet for everyone to see. "Thank you." she said softly to him and she gently kissed his lips. Kelly looked down and swallowed hard.

"What did you get Brandon?" Tracy said with a smile.

Brandon eyes met Kelly's again, "My favorite cologne. Thanks Kel…I haven't wore this in forever." Brandon smelled it and Tracy leaned in taking a whiff also.

"Oooo that's really nice." she commented.

Kelly swallowed hard and smiled, "I remember how much you loved it." she said sweetly. Oh this gift meant more than anyone knew. By the looks of Brandon, it held some secret inside meaning and I was only guessing here but I had a feeling it was back when they were dating. It had a small sexual undertone too, because the looks between them were steamy and the shyness in them both reeked of sexual innuendo.

Kelly ripped open her gift and smiled, "Wow Dylan…thank you." she held up a gorgeous leather bound journal that I had helped Dylan wrap. Dylan was into his writing and expressing his feelings through his writing. When he found this journal he thought maybe Kelly could use one too. I had thought it was an excellent idea, especially knowing she was holding a lot inside at the moment. "I love it Dylan."

Dylan smiled at her, "You're welcome, I hope it brings you as much joy as the one Brenda got me last year. It's helped me get a lot of stuff out, deal with it in a healthy way." she nodded appreciative and thanked him again. The last round of gifts were opened and presented, the night had been successful. Everyone loved their gifts, enjoyed the food and what better company to be in then a bunch of old friends. The rest of the night carried on much the same. Drinking and laughing…this was a Christmas Eve we would never forget.

Dylan and I had agreed to stay the night. Brandon had brought down the air mattress into the living room for us. I had drank but I was only slightly feeling good and Dylan could have drove but when Brandon offered I thought why not? Dylan and I had spend last Christmas together on our own, even though I loved every minute of it, this one was different. We thought it would be fun to wake up with the people that lived here and celebrate Christmas morning. Kelly, Donna and David had gone home, while Steve, Valerie and Brandon went to their rooms for the night. Tracy was sleeping over, which made sense considering they were together. Still didn't feel right with me but what could I do? I cuddled into Dylan's shirtless body, resting my head on his chest as I looked up at the tree glistening in the dark. His hand came down and rubbed my side lovingly and I felt the rise and fall of his chest which made me relax. I brought my head up resting my chin on him and looked at his beautiful face. He glanced down at me a small smirk playing on his face. He lifted me so my face was in front of his as he kissed me deeply.

"Think we could be quiet enough down here to finish this Christmas Eve off right? I can't stop thinking about licking you in those panties." he whispered lustfully. Taking my lips again against his. I smiled mid kiss and then I went in kissing him again eagerly .

"Behave yourself Mr. McKay, our friends and my brother are right up those stairs." I joked as we began to make out as Dylan's hands started wondering. I broke the kiss after awhile with a sigh. "We can not make love on this air mattress, we might pop it." I joked.

Dylan laughed, "We can move to the floor?" he was being totally serious. His look was lustful as he raised one eyebrow questioning.

I contemplated that, they all had their doors closed upstairs, I mean we could be quiet, we would hear them coming giving us enough time to play it off. I smirked as sat up, moving my legs off the risen air mattress, taking the blankets to the floor, Dylan followed silently. As we laid down we started kissing again, exploring, warming each other up. The feeling of anticipation, longing and excitement of possibly getting caught making it hotter than it normally was. I felt Dylan's hand gently but quickly reach into my pajama pants and my legs opened giving him access. Dylan's tongue came into my mouth and mixed with mine in a heated wet kiss as his fingers played with my core, teasing me in small circles. My eyes closed and I breathed out as the sensation sent me in ecstasy. His lips fell to my neck as he got me off. I felt his index finger dip lower entering me slowly. A low moan leaving my throat. He smiled and covered my mouth with his to quiet me, kissing me deeply. My hand went to his face, down to his neck as I felt the way he hit the spot with ease. He pumped in and out of me gently and I was afraid I would come undone before the main event. He pulled out and I whimpered at the loss of contact. He smiled against my lips enjoying this as usual as he entered a second finger and I couldn't hide the noise that came out of my mouth and frankly at that moment I didn't care at all. My eyes were closed as I was close to climax but I was trying hard not to explode, I wanted to have sex with Dylan.

He chuckled bringing his lips to my ear, "Shhhh baby…let go." he whispered and my eyes opened looking into his, "It's ok…cum for me." His lips came back to my ear as he sped up his movements, licking my neck and sucking the place that brought chills down my body behind my ear. My breathing heavy as I felt him lift his head to look down at me, he kept his pace as he looked lustfully at me waiting for me to explode. My eyes looked at him and in that instant he curled his fingers up rubbing the spot some girls only heard existed and that was all it took as I felt my orgasm hit me with intensity. Warm tingles of fire spread throughout my body as I moaned loudly. Dylan's lips were on mine, kissing me deeply and roughly as I rode out my orgasm which seemed to last longer than normal. I jerked involuntarily coming down as my center became overly sensitive. I pulled my lips away from Dylan breathing heavy coming down from my high as he sensed the end and slowed his movements.

I laid with my eyes closed as a smile spread across my face. I felt Dylan kiss the side of my mouth, "God…I love you." I murmured and Dylan chuckled.

"I love you too." he said with pride in his voice. I opened my eyes as I saw him looking lovingly at me. He gently moved a piece of my hair from my face admiring me, lust gone just pure love, "You are so beautiful." he whispered and I smiled at him. I wasn't quiet ready for the main event but it didn't stop me from leaning up, taking charge and kissing him deeply as he laid flat on the floor, myself moving over him. We were kissing franticly again and I started to work my hand down the front of his pajama pants when we heard Tracy and Brandon arguing. We stopped, both our heads looking towards the dark and vacant stairs.

"Why do you have it still?" I heard Tracy yell clear as day.

"Will you lower your voice, everyone will hear you." Brandon said in a hush yet loud harsh voice.

"I don't care who hears me Brandon, why do you have your ex girlfriends engagement ring still in your drawer?"

I took a deep breath and looked at Dylan as I sat up and moved my hand through my hair. "Oh man." I whispered.

"What's that about Bren?" Dylan sat up too as we continued to hear Tracy and Brandon muffled argument downstairs. Muffled but you could still hear what they were saying.

"I found it today, Brandon still has Kelly's engagement ring in his t-shirt drawer. We talked about it a little today, it seems he is having trouble letting it go. Looks like Brandon's current girlfriend just found it." I looked at Dylan and he took a deep breath and nodded understanding now.

"He is still in love with kelly." Dylan whispered telling me something I already knew.

I looked up at the stairs and nodded, "I know" I whispered back. Dylan and I were kind of frozen here, we couldn't go anywhere, we didn't have a room to hide in and pretend not to listen. Then we heard bedroom doors from upstairs open and whispers and footsteps coming down the stairs quietly. Valerie and Steve spotted us as Dylan and I were now sitting up on the floor. Valerie looked sadly at us and then at Steve.

"Maybe we should go into the kitchen and give them some privacy." Steve was a good guy. It was obvious by their expressions they had heard everything just as we had, probably more since they had been closer. I nodded and got up helping Dylan off the floor, thankful we both still had our clothes on. We started up the steps to the entry way, "Why the hell are you guys on the floor?" Steve said curiously.

I looked at Steve as the blush spread across my face and Dylan chuckled behind me. "Ohhh I get it." Steve laughed quietly, "You guys haven't changed a bit." I gently smacked Steve and then Dylan as they both laughed as quietly as possible. As we got to the kitchen archway the master bedroom door swung open and Tracy came barreling down the stairs, in tears sobbing. We froze in the doorway unable to make a sneaky get away. We were still like statues.

"Tracy wait." Brandon came down in plaid pajama pants chasing after her.

"Leave me alone Brandon." she made it to the bottom but Brandon was not far behind as he reached for her spinning her around so she now faced him. They didn't know we were all huddled there and I know our sudden movements would bring that attention so we all stood still, practically holding our breaths. "You lied to me." Tracy said tearfully.

"I didn't lie Trace, I just didn't think it mattered." Brandon pleaded.

"Didn't matter?" Tracy raised her voice, "You didn't think telling your current girlfriend you almost married your old one didn't matter?"

Brandon pulled Tracy closer, "It was a long time ago." Brandon tried to explain.

"Yeah…two years ago, and you still have her ring. What are you waiting for her to come back to you?"

I swallowed hard and looked at Dylan. He looked back into my eyes guiltily. We shouldn't be seeing this and we knew the answer. Brandon was silent, that's not good.

"I cant believe this." Tracy said, "You're still in love with her." It wasn't directed in a question and Brandon stayed quiet. Tracy huffed pissed off and pulled her arms out of Brandon's hands and rushed the front door, grabbing the doorknob opening it angrily and leaving, slamming the door loudly as she left.

"Damn it." Brandon said as he grabbed his bed head in frustration. He turned towards the kitchen seeing us letting his hand fall to his side limply. "Have you guys been there the whole time?" he looked embarrassed. We relaxed and fanned out into the entry now that we didn't have to hunch together hiding. Nobody answered him.

"Are you okay Bran?" Dylan moved closer to him.

Brandon let his embarrassment fade away as he sighed and shook his head. "I'm so stupid. I messed up a good thing because I can't let go of the past." Brandon said at this point not caring he was admitting his feelings for Kelly in front of all of us.

"Maybe it's time to talk to Kelly about this, tell her how you feel?" Steve said nicely.

Brandon looked at Steve thinking. "Kelly knows how I feel, if she felt the same she would let me know. This is so messed up." Brandon turned on his heels and headed for the stairs.

"Brandon." I called out making him stop and look down at me from the stairs. "She doesn't know how you feel." I shook my head, telling him he was so wrong, Kelly thought she had blew it.

"Bren." he shook his head with tears in his eyes and my heart broke seeing them. "I know what I have to do. I'm returning the ring." he didn't make eye contact again as he jogged up the steps. We heard the bedroom door close loudly and all of us stood there, stunned at what we had just witnessed.

I had gotten up early to start in the kitchen and my mom was already over. Dylan was forced to get up as well, since we weren't able to have the air mattress out. He took off to the beach and he was going to pick Iris and Erica up on the way back. My mom and I listened to music as we prepped in the kitchen.

"Oh Brenda…turn it up I love this song."

I laughed and turned the dial up as Earth, Wind and Fire blared through the kitchen. I giggled as my mom sang, "Do you remember the 21st of September…Come on Brenda." I hadn't seen my mom let loose in a long time. I started singing with her forgetting about the onions for the stuffing I was chopping. I grabbed her hand as we circled each other, dancing to the music in the kitchen.

Valerie had entered and stood with her hands on her hips and a wide smile on her face, "What's going on in here?"

My mother moved towards her mouthing the words and she grabbed Valerie's hand pulling her to join us. Valerie laughed dancing around us as we sang at the top of our lungs. "Say that you remember…dancing in September." Valerie grabbed my hand twirling me around which caused both of us to laugh out loud. This was like when we were younger and it as wonderful. Valerie hit our hips together doing the bump, something we saw my mom and her sister, my late aunt do when we were little. Valerie grabbed my hips and she swayed her hips against mine. Dancing a lot more modern then we had just been. As Valerie and I innocently moved our hips practically freaking each other the song ended and my mom rushed the radio turning down the commercial it had switched to. Valerie and I smiled at each other, having a moment of reminiscing to the good old days, when we heard a slow clap coming from the kitchen doorway. There stood, Erica who was giggling, Iris with a cute smirk on her lips and Dylan in the middle lifting one eye brow absolutely amused.

"Well damn ladies over so soon, I was enjoying that." Dylan said entertained, and a little freakishly turned on.

"You wish Dylan…that's enough girl on girl action for you put it away." Valerie said openly, my smile was wide and so was my eyes as I looked at Iris then at Erica. Valerie had no filter what so ever.

"Come on Val my mom, future mother in law and sister are in the room." Dylan was embarrassed, he started it.

Valerie walked toward him and patted him on the shoulder, "It's fine Dylan, they all know you are a perve, see you guys later, got to stop by the club." Valerie left just like that. No shame, no apologies, I loved her.

"She has a point." Iris shook her head moving into the kitchen, "Did I ever tell you Cindy about how I always used to catch my son with Brenda here, even when I visited them in London?"

"Mom please…no." Dylan shook his head.

"Dylan…it's no big deal, you're an adult and your marrying her daughter."

Cindy laughed, "My husband has some stories as well." she went back to work like no big deal. Erica rushed the kitchen barstools and joined them.

Dylan looked at me, he sighed and closed his eyes, humiliated. I swayed my hips towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck and he opened them as I got close. He smelled like salt water and a bit like sweat. Not a bad smell actually it smelled all man and I liked it. I kissed his lips as I felt him relax into it and wrap his arms around my waist.

"I missed you." I whispered and he smiled forgetting the embarrassment he had underwent 3 seconds ago. He leaned in and kissed me again. "You taste like the ocean." I licked my lips. It was salty and familiar, it took me back when we were younger and he'd come pick me up after a day of surfing.

Erica cleared her throat and we looked over at our families as they stared at us. A smile on their faces. I had to admit I kind of forgot for a second they were there. Dylan blushed a bit, kissing my head, "I'm gonna go take a shower." it was obvious he wanted an escape.

"I'll be back later, I got an errand to run." we heard Brandon call out and the front door opened and shut. I looked at my mom and she shrugged and went back to prepping. I looked at Dylan a knowing glint in his eyes, we knew what he was doing, he was returning the ring.

A couple hours had passed and Brandon wasn't back yet. Dylan and I had gotten ready back at his house and now we were back at my old house. As the boys chatted in the living room I was in the kitchen with the girls.

A knock on the door got my attention, "I'll get it." I hopped up the steps and opened the door knowing it was one of our friends. As I opened the door widely Kelly smiled back at me.

"Merry Christmas Bren." she said nicely.

"Merry Christmas Kel." I answered back and motioned for her to come in. I took her coat and turned to hang it up on the hook. "Us girls are in the kitchen, Donna isn't here yet."

"I know…she went to meet David, she should be here soon."

I nodded nicely and turned thinking she would follow me in the kitchen, "Brenda?" I turned to look at her, "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Now that I looked at her, she did look upset. She looked like she had been crying. I nodded, "Yeah sure…lets go upstairs."

We went into Brandon's room and shut the door behind us and I waited for her to share what was the matter. "Is Brandon here?" she asked looking around as she crossed her arms.

I shook my head, "No he left a couple of hours ago, he isn't back yet."

"I saw Brandon earlier. Tracy came to my apartment today." My eyes widened. "She told me about last night." Kelly walked over to the bed and sat down.

"Wait wait wait…Tracy came to your apartment and told you what about last night?"

"She told me that her and Brandon broke up last night and then she told me why."

I took a deep breath and moved toward the bed sitting next to her. "She told you about the ring." I said matter of factly.

Kelly looked over at me, "You know already?"

I pursed my lips together and nodded slowly, "Yeah…I found it yesterday. I heard the fight between them."

Kelly got up and paced a second and then turned toward me, "After Tracy left I went to the pit to pick up the pies and ran into Steve. He actually was picking them up already but he told me Brandon was off returning the ring down in Westwood at some German jewelry store. So I rushed down there and I ran into him."

My heart skipped a beat, "Oh my god Kel…what happened?" I was kind of excited except Kelly didn't look over the moon with happiness she looked sad.

"I told him that Tracy had came to me and told me about the ring. I asked him what he was doing there and he told me he came to return it." tears filled her eyes.

"Kelly…what did you say?" my hand went to my heart.

"I told him that it was good…that he was returning it." a sob left her lungs as she caught her breath. "I told him that I came there to tell him that he should return it if thats what he wanted to do. I told him we shouldn't get back together that it was too much and he said we can't and agreed." my fingers came to my lips and I took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry Kelly." I rushed her and hugged her tightly, she cried in my arms. "Is that what you want?" I leaned out from her.

She shook her head, "No…but I think that's what he wants. I mean he was going to return the ring. It's causing issues between him and Tracy. He made his decision." she wiped under her eyes.

"Kelly…this sucks. I don't know what is wrong with my brother. He adores you, I know he does."

Kelly smiled softly, "I know Brandon loves me Bren…I just think he wants to move on. I've hurt him too much and I have to let him do that, as I left him in front of the jewelry store, he went back in and he did return the ring after that, its really over."

I frowned, what was Brandon thinking, he did love Kelly, he was in love with Kelly, why would he return it? "Are you going to be okay?" I asked sincerely.

Kelly nodded not very believable mind you, "I bought myself a present today, for Christmas, for someone I love. Maybe I paid too much for something that no one will ever see but." Kelly reached down the collar of her shirt and pulled out a chain of a necklace, "I didn't want anyone else to have it." I looked closer and there was Kelly and Brandon's ring on a chain around her neck. I felt like my heart fell in the pit of my belly.

"Oh Kelly." I breathed as tears spilled down my cheeks. "You didn't?" My heart hurt for both of them.

"I did." her head tilted to the side and tears that matched my own ran down her cheeks. I walked closer to her taking the ring on the chain looking at the beauty this now symbolized. "I just couldn't bare anyone else to have it. It's ours." she said softly.

We cried together, probably for different reasons. I was honored that Kelly told me this secret and unfortunately if that's what my bother wanted, I had to respect it, even if I didn't agree. We fixed our faces a little and decided we should probably join the rest of the gang and family. We made our way down the stairs, joined them in the living room. Kelly moved over and sat next to Steve and Claire. My eyes met Dylan's, his eyebrows bunched together as he looked at my face. He knew me better than anyone and knew something had happened. I smiled reassuring him and moved towards him, squeezing in between him and Valerie. He welcomed me with an arm around my shoulder and a kiss on my temple. As I looked around the room, at my family, at my friends all in their own conversations. I realized how lucky I was to have every one of them in my life. It might have been a long time since I've seen them all but sitting here now almost felt like I never left. Except having this gorgeous and sexy man all to myself, and of course an added sparkly ring on my left hand, it really did feel the same. I looked over at Dylan, thankful he was in my life. Thankful we found each other again and finally got it together. He looked at me, feeling my stare and gave me that famous half smirk I loved so much.

"Merry Christmas Bren."

I smiled, "Merry Christmas Dylan." I said back to him leaning in and softly kissing his lips. It wasn't heated or forceful, just a whisper of his lips against my own. I rested my head against his chest cuddling closer to him as his arm tightened around me. I looked over at Kelly, the silver chain of her necklace shining yet the ring hidden in her shirt. She looked over at me and smiled a sad smile. We both turned looking at Brandon, standing by the couch with Tracy in front of him, his arms wrapped securely around her from behind, obviously back together. His eyes on Kelly though, and hers on his. I watched as they stared at each other, love evident in their eyes. If Brandon only knew what Kelly had done. If he only knew she sat there with their ring around her neck. I had only hoped that someday…he'd find out.

 _So I know its very Brandon/Kelly heavy, I'm sorry. I know some of you will enjoy it and some of you wont but I will explain. I LOVED this storyline in season 7, like LOVED IT, I liked BK and I thought this was so romantic. I wanted Brenda to be apart of it. It's actually early to be doing it in comparison to the show. This is Christmas and this happened Valentines day when Tracy finds the ring, and through February Kelly deals with Tracy and having her own ring back, but for obvious reasons, Brenda and Dylan won't be in LA for Valentines day, I moved it up. Please tell me how you liked it. Hit review! I'm working on the last part of their LA visit now. I hope you enjoyed it!_


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

 _So long had I travelled the lonely road,_

 _Though, now and again, a wayfairing friend_

 _Walked shoulder to shoulder, and lightened the load,_

 _I often would think to myself as I strode,_

 _No comrade will journey with you to the end._

 _And it seemed to me, as the days went past,_

 _And I gossiped with cronies, or brooded alone,_

 _By wayside fires, that my fortune was cast_

 _To sojourn by other men's hearths to the last,_

 _And never to come to my own hearthstone._

 _The lonely road no longer I roam._

 _We met, and were one in the heart's desire._

 _Together we came, through the wintry gloam,_

 _To the little old house by the cross-ways, home;_

 _And crossed the threshold, and kindled the fire._

 _Wilfrid Wilson Gibson_

Brenda brought the chicken from the oven over to the dining room table now cleared and being set. She looked at me with a small smirk considering we had argued loudly on me finally clearing it off and getting rid of the junk mail that had littered it since we got back. I smirked back and rolled my eyes shaking my head knowing she had gotten her way, which was pretty normal. I wasn't really sure why I even tried to make excuses and give her a hard time. We had been back in Beverly Hills a little over a week and tomorrow was New Years eve. The gang had planned to celebrate it at the After Dark, David and Valerie had lined up some live performances, Nat also agreed to cater it so it should be a good time. I watched Brenda head into the kitchen as I set the last of the plates and silverware on the table. She had been pretty quiet since our fight, I had yelled at her though which I felt bad about. The only reasoning behind it I assumed was because I was so used to living alone my whole life, even after all this time living with Brenda, old habits die hard. She was such a neat freak and I wasn't. Sometimes the nagging got to me and I would react and then feel like shit after. I sighed knowing I had to fix it even if by clearing it off meant she won. She walked back in setting the salad on the table. She grabbed the back of the dining chair and looked at me, smirk gone from her pretty face.

"You still mad at me?" I stared into her eyes.

She stared back not answering right away, she shrugged, yeah that meant she was. There was a small smile she was holding back in there and I made my move towards her. She turned quickly away from me and I wrapped my arms around from behind stopping her. I squeezed her tightly burying my head in her neck.

"Dylan." she whined. "Let me get dinner on the table."

"No…not until you forgive me." she squirmed a little and I squeezed tighter. I hated when she gave me the silent treatment. She giggled as I sprayed little kisses against her neck tickling her. She turned into my arms and kissed me.

"You shit." she said with a smile, I returned my own smirk back.

"You pain in the ass." I leaned in kissing her again.

She smiled against my lips, "You love it." she whispered.

"Yeah…yeah." I leaned out holding a smirk and shaking my head finally letting her go.

She headed back into the kitchen. "I thought that's why you wanted to marry me, so I can nag the crap out of you for the rest of your life?" she joked.

"Huh I thought it was because I wanted sex whenever I wanted." I chuckled. She peered around the doorway.

"Like you didn't already?" She raised her eyebrows testing me.

"You're right…gimme back that ring." she laughed out loud.

"Hell no…you're stuck with me." She went back into the kitchen and I smiled at our banter.

"Set two more places babe." she called out.

I looked down at the table set for two with confusion, "Two more why?"

Just then the doorbell rang and Brenda came out holding a plate of roasted potatoes and vegetables setting it nonchalantly on the table. "Brandon and Kelly are coming over." she did not make eye contact with me.

"Bren…what are you doing?" I looked at her she still avoided eye contact with me.

She grabbed two plates from my hutch herself, "Get the door Dylan."

I sighed loudly, "Jesus." I said under my breath as I went towards the front door. I opened it to see a very awkward looking Brandon and Kelly on the front porch. "Hey guys, come in." I opened it it wider as Kelly stepped through first heading towards the dining table towards Brenda. Brandon stepped in and looked at me.

"What is this about?" He asked quietly.

"Fuck if I know bro…blame your sister."

A growl came from Brandon's throat and it made me laugh briefly as he stepped the rest of the way into the living room. As we made our way over to the dinner table, I saw Kelly talking to Brenda in a hushed voice. I assumed she was wondering what was happening too. Obviously Brandon and Kelly were just as surprised to be standing on that porch, then I was they were even coming. Funny how they got here at the same time.

"Can't I just have one of my best friends and my brother over for dinner?" She commented. Kelly pursed her lips together now seeing Brandon and myself in ears shot.

"I guess so." She took a deep breath with a smile playing on her lips.

We all sit down and started passing around the food making our plates.

"This looks good Bren." Brandon commented as he scooped some roasted baby potatoes onto his plate.

"Yeah…it does, I didn't know you cooked." Kelly chimed in towards Brenda.

She smiled and shrugged, "Bren is a regular Betty Crocker." I said trying to say anything to take away from the weirdness and tension this table had at the moment. Brenda looked at me chewing her food with her mouth closed and I gave her a small subtle shrug not knowing what the hell to say. Dinner was quiet and every so often Brenda would speak up and ask Kelly or Brandon some question that involved an answer. It was the freaking weirdest dinner I had ever been too. After awhile Brenda got up after we ate and starting clearing the table.

"You guys can go sit in the living room, Dylan and I got this, want me to make some coffee or maybe more wine?" she said towards Kelly and Brandon.

Kelly and Brandon looked at each other, a small smile crept on both their lips. They both looked at me and at that moment it was clear they knew what Brenda was up too. Brandon looked down and nodded, "Sure Bren…Kel wine?" he said calmly.

Kelly nodded quickly, "Yeah wine." she said it like she needed it and they both headed to the living room.

I sighed and looked at Brenda, giving her a disapproving look. She stuck her tongue out at me causing me to roll my eyes as I grabbed the dishes and followed her into the kitchen.

"Alright miss match maker, what are you up too?" I asked standing close to her at the sink.

"Kelly and Mark broke up." she stacked the dishes.

"So? Brandon to my knowledge is still very much with Tracy. Maybe you should have invited her over with Brandon and gotten to know his new girlfriend a little?"

Brenda looked at me, clearly not what she wanted to do or hear. "Sometimes people just need a little push."

"Cause that worked with us?" No one ever tried to get me and Bren back together, all the almosts were all us, at particular times with particular situations. "No one had to plan an awkward dinner to get us back together." I stated.

Brenda looked at me, a smirk playing on her lips, "Maybe they should have." she said proudly and went to open another bottle of wine. I peered into the living room peeking at Brandon and Kelly. They sat closely on the couch, talking. Maybe Brenda was right. They looked cozy. I leaned back into the kitchen and shook my head.

"We shouldn't be involved in this." I said out loud but more towards myself. Brenda looked over at me, the sound of cork being popped out of the bottle.

"You're not involved at all babe." she was being a smart ass. "But…maybe you should be, maybe you could talk some sense guy to guy into Brandon?"

I chuckled, "And why would I do that?" Brenda knew me better than that, she knew I didn't get involved in other peoples love lives.

She grabbed the tray of coffee cake she had been working on cutting, along with the wine and smiled, "Well…you were the one that broke them up." she said with a smirk as she batted her eyelashes at me.

My stare turned hard, I wasn't mad but that was a low blow. So not funny. "Brenda." I sighed shaking my head.

She walked by me with a smirk proud of herself and as Kelly and Brandon's attention turned towards us, I took that moment to spank her ass hard, the sound of hand to skin echoing louder than I anticipated through the thin material of her dress. She yelped surprised trying to hold onto the tray.

Kelly smiled, "Should we leave?" she joked.

Brenda shook her head and rolled her eyes with a smile. She set down the tray and chuckled not commenting and filling up the wine glasses to the top. I walked over and sat on the arm chair we had that faced Brandon and Kelly. I pulled Brenda to my lap and she cuddled closer to me holding her glass.

"What's this Bren?" Kelly bent over grabbing a box from the floor checking it out.

Brenda laughed, "It was Dylan and my Christmas gift from Erica."

"The couples game." Kelly read the top of the box. "How cute." She commented and lifted the top off the box.

"You guys want to play it?" Brenda looked at me, then at Brandon and Kelly.

"Oh Bren…I don't think so." Kelly said with a shy smile.

"Why? It will be fun, it's not like you guys didn't used to date, let's see how well we do?"

Kelly looked at Brandon, probably testing to see if he was comfortable with this. He looked lovingly back at her and smiled, his attention going back to us as he shrugged playfully, "Alright…sure that could be interesting." Brandon seemed into it.

Brenda picked up the tray moving it to the end table. She pulled out the coffee table a little and knelt on the ground. Kelly and Brandon smiled at each other and knelt down too. Brenda turned looking at me waiting for me to join. I shook my head with a roll of my eyes and smiled, finally joining the three of the on the floor. Brenda started passing out the answer sheets and setting up the game. There were questions, all the same for the girls, different ones for the guys. The object was to answer them for yourself, your partner had to try to write what they thought you would write. Every time the answer was right and the same, you'd get a point. I was sort of curious now. It was sort of like the newlywed game.

I read the first question to myself, Which one of your partners friends would look best in a bikini? Brenda snickered and I smiled and wrote my answer as she did the same.

"If Kelly was smart you would not put Brenda." Brandon joked as he wrote his answer. We all laughed. We continued to jot down our answers and how our partners would answer on the game cards.

"Alright…everyone done?" Kelly said with a smile.

"Yep." Brandon answered, their linger long. Now I kind of knew why Brenda planned this, it was obvious the feelings, I'm sure they knew it too.

"I'll start." Brenda grabbed her card, "Which one of your partners friends would look best in a bikini?" Brenda read and then looked at me. "Laura." she said to me with a smile.

I laughed and turned my card around showing the group, "Laura." I said proudly. Brenda knew I thought Laura had an nice body. We joked about it all the time, she agreed.

"Your old roommate Laura?" Brandon asked curiously as he lifted his eyebrows interested. Brenda smiled, "She's 5'9, 115 lbs and has d-cups. Figures right? Fortunately for me, London isn't known for its beach and warm weather."

"You got a picture?" Brandon commented and I laughed, Kelly hit him in the chest.

"My turn." Kelly said, "Donna." She turned her card around and Brandon smiled as he turned his around as well revealing Donna too. We laughed, this was fun.

Brenda read, "When your partner says, "Honey they're playing our song." which song is playing?" She turned her card around, "I wrote two." She said proudly and I smirked reading hers and turning around my own. Which read Always by Bon Jovi and Losing my Religion by REM. Brenda laughed out loud, "I thought I would trick you." she said laughing.

I shook my head, "I know you better than anyone Bren, plus it's true right?"

"Yep." she smiled. We had more than one song. One for both times we dated so to speak.

Kelly gave a knowing look at Brandon and turned her card around, "Babyface."

Brandon smiled back showing the same but he had written, Every time I close my eyes, Babyface. But that song wasn't 2 years old. Interesting.

Kelly spoke up, "Who was the first person that mentioned marriage, you or your partner?" I looked at Brandon as he blushed, turning his card around. His read himself, Kelly's read Brandon. Surprise surprise.

Brenda giggled as she turned hers around, "You're never gonna get this one." I read her card, it said Me (Palm Springs trip). I laughed and turned my over, it read Brenda, when we were in Palm Springs.

"What the hell?" Brenda pouted like she was losing.

"We're on the same team." She laughed, "Plus…I remember."

Brenda laughed as she leaned in kissing me softly.

"Palm Springs?" Brandon asked curiously.

"It was years ago, that trip you missed out on when Kelly here was suppose to drop Brenda off at my hotel and we ended up at David's grandparents house."

"Oh yeah." Kelly smiled remembering. "You were suppose to lose your virginity that weekend." Brenda threw a small couch pillow at her.

Kelly giggled, "What…you were."

"When Dylan and I were talking out back at David's grandparents house I…might of brought up if he ever imagined being married, having kids and grandkids."

Dylan smiled, "At that point I had to admit, the thought was pretty far from my mind considering this one hadn't even had sex with me yet." I joked and Brenda rolled her eyes playfully.

"Geez what were you guys, 16?" Brandon said surprised and me and Bren nodded.

"Well look…you're getting married now, that's pretty amazing." Kelly smiled as she looked between us.

"We certainly are." I looked at Brenda as she looked at me. We had a moment until Kelly spoke again, breaking the love stare.

"When was the last time you and your partner had sex? By the way…these answers don't leave this room yes?" Kelly asked holding her card against her chest.

"Definitely." Brandon murmured. Kelly turned her card around, "Last year." Kelly said disappointed. Brandon smiled sadly, his said last year too "Sad but true." he joked.

Brenda turned hers around, "This morning." She giggled. I flipped mine around, it read this morning. "Twice." I added.

"Shocking." Kelly shook her head. Brenda shook her shoulders proudly doing a little dance.

"What did you and your partner last argue about?" Brenda sighed. These were freaking too easy.

Brenda groaned, "Clearing off the table." she said with a pout.

"Right again…this isn't much of a game huh?" I turned my card around, "Cleaning the table off."

We looked at Kelly and Brandon a strange expression on their faces, Kelly turned her card around and pursed her lips together, One name appeared…Tracy. She didn't say it. Brandon leaned over and peeked at her card, he chuckled turning his card around, again…Tracy.

Brenda looked back and forth between them. She shook her head, "You guys should just do it and get it over with already." She said quietly but everyone heard.

"Brenda!" Kelly said embarrassed with wide eyes.

"What?" Brenda laughed, "I didn't say anything." she looked at me, "Right?"

I shook my head, "No comment."

Brandon and Kelly looked at each other…an awkward but meaningful look. I glanced at Brenda that had a small smile on her lips as she watched them.

Brenda cleared her throat breaking them up from their moment, "What is your partners favorite cuss word? 2 extra points if its in bedroom talk." Brenda squeezed her eyes shut embarrassed as she turned her card around. "Ugh." she grunted and hung her head. There in capital letters spelled FUCK and FUCK ME.

"Oh my lord." Kelly put her head down not wanting to know. Brandon looked to the ceiling as he sighed loudly with a smirk, clearly not wanting to know either.

I laughed out loud, turning my card around, "Do I get extra credit for putting more than two?" I joked. I wrote fuck also and in parentheses fuck me on the card but

I could have probably gotten a lot more x-rated and put a few more.

"No." All three of them said at exactly the same time. This was hilarious.

"So Kelly what's your favorite cuss word?" Brandon smiled. I don't think I had heard Kelly cuss much. She pursed her lips together to hide her smile.

"Bitch. What can I say…it usually involves a certain brunette." Kelly shrugged honestly.

Brenda gasped.

"Not you…weirdo…Valerie."

Brenda giggled, "Oh right." she nodded knowingly. "Brandon?" we waited for him to turn it around.

His read bitch, "No extra credit for us…it's been while." he said with a smile and Kelly turned bright red.

Kelly read the next question changing the subject, "If you were to pick a honeymoon destination, where would you choose? This one is hard." she turned her card around and it read Corsica.

"No way Kel…that's crazy." Brandon showed his card and it read Corsica. "That's freaky." he commented surprised.

"You guys never talked about it?" I asked curious.

Brandon and Kelly shook their head, "No. Never." they both said.

"Interesting." Brenda said with a nod. She looked at me, "We haven't discussed this either."

This should be interesting, I had no idea where Brenda would want to go on our honeymoon, we hadn't gotten that far. We hadn't talked anything wedding at all since I had proposed. So…I chose somewhere where I had never been. I waited patiently as Brenda turned her card around slowly. "Greece." she said out loud and looked at me hopeful.

"Holy shit." I said out loud, as I turned my card around. I had written Santorini, Greece.

"Shut the fuck up?" she smiled and raised her hand out for a high five. I met her hand in a clap and then grabbed it tackling her to the floor. She giggled as I attacked her with kisses.

"See favorite cuss word." I murmured to her and Brandon and Kelly laughed obviously hearing me. She pushed me gently, I knew we were being rude to our guests but at that moment I didn't care. I let up and leaned back up taking her hand with me pulling her to a sitting position.

"Guess you guys are going to Greece for your honeymoon." Brandon said amused.

Brenda nodded, "Maybe…guess you two are going to Corsica…which by the way, we could come meet you!" Brenda got excited.

Brandon cleared his throat, "Well…I guess you can never say never but…" he shrugged a little stating the obvious, they had no plans on marrying. DUH.

"I mean…you know." Brenda tried to back peddle. "I mean if you got married and went to Corsica we could go meet you…I mean for part of the time." Brenda looked between the them.

Brandon took a deep breath, "For a small part of the time." he commented surprisingly.

"A very small part of it." Kelly added. WOAH!

Brenda giggled and took a sip of her wine. We watched Brandon and Kelly try to act nonchalant. They both grabbed their wine glasses taking long sips. Either Brenda was a genius and she was a trouble maker…probably both.

We actually had a lot of fun playing the game, we did eventually get a couple wrong. Later when it was the guys time to answer their answers not their partners but all in all, Kelly and Brandon knew each other pretty damn well only missing 2. Almost as well as Bren and I had but of course we only missed 1. It was a tricky question too about what you would get rid of of your partners I answered nothing Brenda loves everything about me. Brenda wrote Dylan's ripped

Mexican woven hoodie. I was shocked, she giggled drunkenly from the wine and I was hurt. I loved that hoodie. I've had it for a long time. She claimed she loved it too but it was time for a new one. The one from high school was too small and ripped. Pssh whatever. We actually had clicked on a movie after the game and they continued to drink 3 bottles of wine. The titles were scrolling, Brenda looked at me with a sweet smile and glassy eyes. She was feeling no pain. She motioned her head toward the futon and there Brandon and Kelly were fast asleep their heads resting on each other. She brought her index finger to her lips, telling me to be quiet as she got off my lap. I took a deep breath and got up as I looked at them. I felt stupid for thinking it but they did look great together, I had silently hoped someday they would work it out. Brenda and I tip toed into my bedroom and got changed for bed.

"What do you think will happen with them?" Brenda slurred.

I chuckled, "I don't know Bren…like I said a while ago. I don't think we've heard the last about them. They definitely have unfinished business."

Brenda nodded and plopped roughly into the bed in her bra and underwear, she moved to her side away from me. I think taking off her clothes was too much work for her sloppy self at the moment. I chuckled getting in bed.

"Well…that should make for a pretty awkward wake up tomorrow morning." I said referring to the two out in my living room. "Let's hope Tracy hasn't been calling the house all night." I laid down and went to try to get some drunk sex from Brenda. She was louder when she was drunk and it was always fun and wild.

She moaned like she was listening but already passing out. "Bren?" I whispered kissing her back, then her neck, her cheek, her arm, "Bren?" I said louder, my hand gliding down her thigh. "Brenda?" I said even louder.

"Mmmm." she murmured, she was done. I chuckled and shook my head amused.

I lifted the covers over her half naked body and kissed her head. "Goodnight beautiful." I whispered. I wrapped my arm around her from behind and spooned her. I felt her relax into me. Closing my eyes, I pictured Brenda and myself in Greece and soon I was out like a light.

BPOV

"Baby." Dylan whispered in my ear and let out a leave me alone groan. "Come on…sleepy head. We have New Years brunch with our families." he continued.

"Uh Uh." I groaned again into my pillow.

"I made coffee." the smell of coffee hitting my nose like he put it in my face. It smelled heavenly but my head hurt to much to respond. I felt the bed dip up again, "Alright then I guess you don't want to see the lovebirds on our futon out there when I awkwardly wake them up." he said in a teasing tone. My eyes shot open remembering vaguely. I sat up fast…way too fast and my hand went to my head.

"Uh…They're still asleep?" I asked interested as I grabbed the coffee cup from him. I looked up at him a knowing sneaky smile on his face as he nodded. He handed me a small bottle of water and 2 Advil. I took it with fierce need. I slowly dragged myself out of bed and reached for my robe. I looked down at myself being in my bra and underwear still. "Did you take advantage of me last night?" I asked him with humor in my voice as I set down my coffee so I could wrap myself in my robe.

Dylan gave me a smirk, "I tried…no luck." he answered simply which made me laugh. He was serious, I could tell. We quietly made our way into the living room. I clutched my coffee mug like it was life. We stopped at the foot of the futon looking down. At some point in the night Brandon had laid down on the futon and Kelly was cuddled into his side. They looked adorable.

I cleared my throat loudly and Dylan chuckled beside me. Both of their eyes slowly opened taking them a minute to figure out where they were, Brandon cuddled Kelly into himself tighter. "There's coffee." Dylan said happily. He was enjoying this as much as me. Brandon and Kelly sat up quickly and looked at each other.

"Holy shit." Brandon murmured, "Shit." Kelly said at the same time.

Dylan and I started to laugh loudly, "Look Dylan…new cuss words for the game."

Brandon got up uncomfortably. Followed by Kelly. "I should go." she said quickly. I'm sorry this was freaking so entertaining. I knew we were leaving in a couple days but I would actually miss this shit.

"No coffee Kel?" Dylan said, his voice filled with humor but hiding it, not well mind you.

"Nah I'm good." she shook her head. 'I'll see you guys…um tonight….at the After Dark…yeah." Kelly was stuttering. She left so fast, I couldn't help but giggle as the door closed loudly. I looked at Brandon, not saying a word.

"Shut up….both of you." he walked around us and into the kitchen to grab some coffee.

I sat down proudly and curled my legs under myself as Dylan took a seat next to me. I sipped my coffee enjoying the taste. "I have to admit Bren…you're good." Dylan said taking a sip of his own.

Our eyes met and I raised one eyebrow, "I know." I said simply.

Brandon made his way in sipping his cup. He sat on the chair facing us ignoring our stares.

"Did you have a good time?" Dylan asked him. He was as bad as me. Pssh.

Brandon glared at him playfully. A smile broke from his face and he shrugged, "It was alright."

"Looked more than alright. I mean…can we update that answer about sex from last year to last night?" I know I was about to get into trouble.

He looked at me with a stone cold expression and shook his head, "I got to go…thanks for dinner you two trouble makers." He got up setting down his mug on the table and walked towards the front door, "I hate you both." he called out opening it.

"You love us." I called out back.

"Not that much." he said as he walked out the door.

"See you in Corsica brother." Dylan called out and I started cracking up uncontrollably, my head hiding into Dylan's shirt as I felt his chest heave with laughs of his own.

I hadn't heard the front door close, both Dylan and my head looked towards the front door to see Brandon with his lips pursed together in a hard line, fighting back a smile. He looked at us, his hand resting on the doorknob.

"You two deserve each other." he said as he shook his head and the door shut behind him.

I looked at Dylan a wide smile on my face, "Damn straight we do." I said and both of us started cracking up as we leaned our heads together. Fucking Brandon, it was going to be hard leaving him. This was too entertaining and I really really wanted to know what was going to happen between them.

Dylan and I walked into the After Dark hand and hand, looking around for the gang. I spotted Donna and David first they were dancing forehead to forehead.

"Hey Don…David, where is everyone?" I felt a little bad interrupting their loving dance.

"Hey Bren…Hey Dylan!" She smiled wide and let go of David. "Happy New Years!" she said excitedly.

I smiled, I would definitely miss my friends here. "Happy New Years." Dylan and I said at the same time.

"Oh Bren you look so gorgeous…that dress." Donna admired my new dress I had gotten a couple days earlier. I could always count on Donna to notice something new I had. I was happy she was studying fashion at CU. With her eye, I had a feeling she was going to successful.

I did a little twirl showing it off, "Thank you." I said with a smile. "Dylan bought it for me the other day."

Donna smiled, "Wow…look at you." she directed her comment to Dylan. He smiled shyly and looked down.

"Well…after dragging me to a dozen stores, I offered to buy it so we could go home." Donna laughed and Dylan and David nodded understanding.

"Been there man." he chimed in.

"Everyone is up there." She pointed to the back and I finally saw the gang chatting and drinking up at the top. I thanked her felt Dylan's hand on the small of my back as he led me in the direction of the group. We greeted everyone with hugs and a happy New Years. I noticed right away that Kelly looked miserable but as soon as I saw Brandon and Tracy talking and laughing together I knew why. Brandon and Kelly were gonna happen…I knew they would It was just gonna take longer that I had hoped.

"You want to dance Bren?" Dylan whispered in my ear. I looked at him, "They are playing our song." I smiled and nodded. Hearing the song playing caused Brandon and Kelly to look at us, remembering last night. They looked at each other shyly and I smirked as Dylan led me onto the dance floor so we could dance to Always by Bon Jovi.

Dylan looked at me as we danced, I raised my eye brows, "You gonna sing to me?"

He laughed shaking his head, instead he leaned his forehead against mine and pulled me closer so I tightened my hold around his neck as he swayed me slowly to the music.

"What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair. To touch your lips, to hold you near." Dylan whispered his nose against mine. That was it I was done for. I kissed him deeply and pretty soon Dylan and I were making out on the dance floor. I wasn't sure how long we were dancing for but it had been many songs, slow and fast and then Valerie came over with two glasses of champagne telling us it was 10 minutes till midnight, I hadn't known where the time had gone. Dylan and I sadly were in our own little world. I almost felt bad. Here we were leaving in a couple days and we had been lost in each other this whole night. I hadn't hung out with any of the gang since we got here. I pulled Dylan up the steps as the group was passing out the rest of the champagne.

"You two love birds finally coming up for air?" Brandon commented, his smart ass smile gleaming.

"Sorry." I said with a smile not having a good come back this time.

Dylan raised his glass of champagne, "Before it's midnight I just wanted to say something to all of you." he held his glass out and everyone turned giving Dylan their undivided attention, I listened intently by his side as I felt his hand touch the small of my back, "Coming home again was a little scary for us. Not only did we get the chance to tell our oldest friends and our families that we were getting married, we also hadn't been back here in a long time. I left Beverly Hills because being here was too hard and I needed to escape from the pain I had here. I'm lucky that I was able to reconnect with Bren and truly find happiness again. Something I hadn't felt in a very long time." I looked up at Dylan a small smile played at my lips. His hand gripped my waist he felt a little emotional too. "I want to thank you guys, for making this trip out here worth the nervousness. By being happy for us, even if some of you may think it's fast or we're young. It means the world to us that we have your support and we both love you all. Life takes you to unexpected places but love will always bring you home." I looked up at Dylan again as he smiled down at me, the meaning behind his quote so forth telling we had a home in each other, in LA and in London, "Brenda and I have talked and we've set a date for the wedding finally." I smiled as Donna bounced excitedly, "So we are both hoping with some planning and saving you guys can all join us June 20th 1998 in London to celebrate our love in our new home." I leaned my head back onto Dylan's chest as I raised my glass. I didn't know he was going to tell everyone now but I was glad he found this particular time to do so. This summer would have been too soon for planning and my play. London's weather was always unpredictable but after careful consideration, we thought the summer would give us the best luck for something outdoors. It was a year and half away which kind of sucked but it also gave everyone a shot of saving up and possibly making the trip out to us. I felt his kiss on the top of my head and I sighed. It was happening, Dylan and I had a timeline now.

"That's after gradation." Steve added with a smile, that was our thought too. "Congratulations you two, it's been awesome having you guys back in LA and that sounds like a hell of a grad present, we could all do a Europe trip together." He looked around at the group everyone nodding, thinking that would a great way to celebrate the end of college and our wedding.

"Agreed…if only you two were staying longer." Brandon said with sad smile.

I looked at Dylan as we looked at each other sadly. We had talked about setting a date before leaving, announcing it to everyone and we also talked about how hard it would be to leave as well. Our life was back in London, we knew that but it was nice to know we could come home anytime we wanted and feel the love from our friends.

"Congratulations." the gang held their flutes up and clinked them together.

"Seeing you guys so happy after such a terrible time Dylan has made me realize, things can get better." Kelly said with a smile, "I hope all of us can find love whether it be new or old." she chuckled then gave Brandon a side glance, in which he caught and returned. "And we all can be as happy as you two are someday." she finished.

"Here here." David chimed in.

I sipped my champagne and turned into Dylan's arms. Setting down our glasses, I looked into his eyes as the club started counting down. 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1….Happy New Year the club cheered! I smiled as Dylan forcefully kissed me, my arms folding around his neck tightly. His tongue sneaking into my mouth gliding against mine effortlessly. We allowed ourselves to get lost in this kiss. It was 1997, we were engaged, had set the date, told our family and our friends, enjoyed our time back in Beverly Hills. It had been an amazing ride so far. I could only look forward to this next year and half with anticipation, hope and happiness. I was lucky to be in love with my best friend, lucky to have been where I have been and lucky to be coming home again. Dylan rested his forehead against mine when we finally came up for air.

"Happy New Years Bren." he whispered lovingly.

My eyes opened as I looked deep inside his warm brown eyes, so full of love it made my heart stop beating, "Happy New Year Dylan." I whispered back. We embraced tightly, Dylan burrowing his face in my neck. In that moment we both realized being in each others arms was home no matter where we were.

 _I hope you liked Brenda and Dylan's trip back to LA. Next chapter they will be back in London, back to the grind with rehearsals and their London friends. Thanks for sticking with me, reading and reviewing. I love this story and I'm glad you guys do too._


	38. Chapter 38

_Chapter 38_

 _Before He Cheats_

 _We are friends_

 _I got your back_

 _You got mine,_

 _I'll help you out_

 _Anytime!_

 _To see you hurt_

 _To see you cry_

 _Makes me weep_

 _And wanna die_

 _And if you agree_

 _To never fight_

 _It wouldn't matter_

 _Who's wrong or right_

 _If a broken heart_

 _Needs a mend_

 _I'll be right there_

 _Till the end_

 _If your cheeks are wet_

 _From drops of tears_

 _Don't worry_

 _Let go of your fears_

 _Hand in hand_

 _Love is sent,_

 _We'll be friends_

 _Till the end!_

 _Angelica N. Brissett_

I flipped through the bridal magazine with impatience. I hadn't a clue what kind of wedding I wanted. Donna had shipped a package to me here in London shortly after we came home from our LA trip, it had a wedding planner three ring binder and endless bridal magazines. She was really the sweetest thing ever but it was making me stressed out. The boys were going to play pool and give us girls some girl time. Some best friend bonding.

"Oh this is so pretty." Laura gushed and turned around the magazine she was holding. It was a gorgeous dress, I wasn't sure it was me though.

"I think I'm looking for something lace." Angie flipped through a magazine she had in her lap. "See anything you like Bren?" Laura looked up from her magazine. She wasn't engaged yet but since Angie and I were, she was really into it.

"Isn't planning a wedding suppose to be really fun? And aren't I suppose to want everything perfect and turn all bridezilla? Is it weird I think I just want something small? Uh it's so stressful!" I tossed the magazine on the coffee table dramatically. I looked back and forth between Laura and Angie, I had just had a small little tantrum that was for sure. Laura laughed as she set down her magazine.

"Okay." Her hands went up, "I got an idea." She got up from the couch and walked into my kitchen. I heard her clinking glasses and shutting cupboards, I looked at Angie who had set down her magazine and grabbed her guitar.

"How did the meeting with the manager go Ang?" I asked remembering she had a meeting the day before.

She strummed softly, "It went ok." she shrugged.

"Only okay?" well that sucks.

Angie took a deep breath and sighed, "No it went really well, they had me pick about 4 songs for my EP. They want to start recording it next week."

I smiled, "Thats amazing Angie…I'm so proud of you. Why aren't you excited? Isn't this what you wanted?" I was confused, the news sounded great but by the look of Angie she wasn't jumping for joy.

"No…it totally is, I picked four songs, Fade into you, Wrong song, I Never needed you like I do right now, As the Crow flies." All great songs, so what was the problem. Angie sighed again, "They want me to write one more. Something upbeat, they said like Wrong song…You outta know like, when they heard me sing it that night at the bar, a scorned girl power song. It's just…I'm not in that place, I'm really having trouble with it." Now I understood.

Laura came in holding 3 shot glasses with her fingers and a bottle of Jameson under her arm. She set it down on the coffee table, we watched her pour three shots before she sat back down on the couch. "Angie…how hard is it to dig into how you were feeling months ago?" Laura said overhearing the conversation.

"That's easy for you to say Laura…Eric is the perfect boyfriend…he worships you and he has never cheated on you…I don't want to relive that. I'm happy right now, I'm getting married next year. I want to move on from that shit time."

Laura passed out the shots she poured, "Ok girls…relax…shot and then I'll tell you about Brian." She raised one eyebrow and held up her shot. I picked mine up now curious about Brian. I had lived with Laura, been friends with her for years now, she never told me about a Brian.

Angie smiled and lifted her shot, we clanked them together and I lifted the shot glass to my lips, taking the whiskey back like a champ. It burned my throat for a minute but I licked my lips really enjoying a good whiskey.

Laura set down her glass, "Ok So Brian was my secondary school boyfriend. We went out my second year until my fourth year. I was completely in love with him." Ok so this was Laura's high school boyfriend, I had lived in London long enough that I knew what the called stuff. So they started dating sophomore year up until senior year. Sounded familiar. "I went on holiday with my family and when I got back, he was acting odd. Being extra nice to me and buying me gifts, I let it go but I went to my a friends party and noticed he was dancing with Natasha Blake." Her eyes squinted tightly and she hissed her name. "She was this blonde slag…rubbish I tell ya." Angie and I giggled, "I cut in and danced with Brian, I noticed she kept looking at us, I asked Brian about it and he shrugged me off. So I went to get our drinks, being asked to bring blonde slag a wine cooler and when I went to find Brian I found him knob deep in that twat." She sighed remembering, "Come to find out they had been secretly seeing each other since my holiday and he had been shaggin us both." She poured three more shots.

My eyes widened, "Oh my God Laura…I'm so sorry that's terrible." And it was, I felt like I knew exactly what she went through but geez Dylan and Kelly had fooled around but they hadn't slept together and to my knowledge he wasn't seeing us both…not for long anyway.

"So…Eric may be my prince charming but I've been through wankers."

The three of us took another shot. Angie started playing an intro on her guitar, it sounded good.

"That's all I have." She looked at us sadly, "I thought about asking Dylan to help me." She laughed out loud, "What would he know about a scorned woman?"

I pursued my lips together and shook my head, "Absolutely nothing." I agreed, "Not that I haven't cheated on Dylan myself but boys handle stuff so differently." Laura nodded, knowing my past with Dylan. Angie stared at me seriously, by the look on her face, she had known of my latest tryst with Mark. I wasn't surprised Mark would tell Tyler who in which would tell Angie. I looked down feeling embarrassed.

"What if we helped you Ang?" Laura grabbed a yellow legal pad sitting on the coffee table I had gotten out in attempt to jot down wedding ideas. The pad was blank. "Ok…the girls our men cheated with. Mine was that blonde twat." She looked at me.

"Ummm…Dylan cheated on me with a blonde surfer girl named Sarah, my blonde best friend Kelly, some other slut he brought to Baja named Stacy, I picture her blonde though…he also slept with my childhood best friend Valerie…not blonde." I added.

"Tyler's tramp was blonde too, I think her name was Stacy too." Angie's opened her mouth and gave me a high five, not exactly sure why.

"Ok Blonde tramps." Laura wrote down on the pad. "What else?"

"I caught Tyler playing pool and grabbing some girl named Tiffany's ass while he made out with her, when he first moved here." Angie chimed in.

"Oh yeah…I remember that…he was showing her how to shoot a combo…and then Mark fucked her." Bitch I thought. I gasped, "Dylan met Valerie at a pool hall." I could actually picture that.

" Grrr." Angie growled.

"Shooting pool…combo…got it." Laura wrote with enthusiasm.

We thought silently. A full two minutes must have passed before Angie spoke.

"I vandalized Tyler's truck in Texas." her voice small and quiet.

"Shut the fuck up." I smiled. "How?"

She cleared her throat, rather embarrassed, "He screwed around with two different friends of mine, they weren't good friends more acquaintances but I caught him getting a rim job at a party senior year with Melissa…and then he fucked Crystal in her mini van the following night. So I…" she stopped.

"Angie!." Laura yelled with a laugh, "Tell us!."

"I keyed it…and took a baseball bat to the head lights and windows." she shrugged sweetly.

"Holy Fuck." I whispered, "If I did that to Dylan's Porsche I would have been dead." No doubt. I was shocked, here was Angie this sweet southern belle, who weighed a buck ten, who knew? "What did he do?"

Angie laughed, "He was so pissed." she continued to crack up. "But…he came crawling back knowing he had fucked up."

Laura stared at her, "You are an inspiration.' she whispered. She blinked and shook her head pouring another round of shots. "To the baddest bitch we know." she held up her shot glass. I smiled taking mine. "And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats." she clinked hers with ours.

"He didn't." Angie sighed, "But it wasn't until we came here that he did again. Maybe he knew he didn't have a car here." We all giggled. I felt a little drunk and then it came to me.

"That's it!" I yelled happily. The girls stared at me like I was nuts. "Ok play that rift again."

"Right now…he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blonde tramp and she is probably getting frisky." I sang in tune to her guitar. She smiled.

"Right now…he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey." Laura lifted her filled shot glass and took it back. I smiled.

"Right now…he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick showing her how to shoot a combo." Angie sang and I pretended to gag with my tongue out thinking about Mark.

"And he don't know…" she continued.

Angie got up and danced around playing her guitar, Laura and I feeling no pain joined her. She sang the chorus.

"I dug my key into the side of his

Pretty little souped up 4-wheel drive

Carved my name into his leather seats

I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights

Slashed a hole in all four tires

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats."

Holy shit this was good. Angie thought hard.

"Right now…she's probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania karaoke."

"Did that happen?" I asked with a laugh. She nodded.

"Right now…she's probably saying…I'm drunk" my voice prissy, "And he's a-thinking that he's gonna get lucky." Fucking Mark.

Laura lifted her hands up, "Right now…he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom Polo." She yelled as she sang. That was actually an inside joke with us about boys at the bars near school who try too hard. They would reek of Polo Cologne and then one day, we found out from Eric that they had Polo in the boys bathroom. We laughed and danced, we were having the best time.

"And he don't know." Angie's gorgeous voice sang loudly as it rang out in my apartment. We sang the chorus again with her.

I belted out, "I might have saved a little trouble for the next girl."

"Because the next time that he cheats…you know it won't be on me." Laura lifted her finger back and forth between me and Angie, considering we were both with our so called cheaters. Water under the bridge, the only thing Angie and I did was smile at each other and dance around to her rocking out on the guitar. I loved my girls, they were the best friends I could have ever asked for. She played the song again from the beginning, all of us singing.

 _DPOV_

We gathered outside my front door listening to the girls. I looked at Eric, Tyler and Mark with wide eyes.

"Are they talking about us?" Tyler mouth dropped.

"Pssh. Not me." I pulled my shirt proudly. Then they sang about a pool stick showing her a combo and I instantly thought about Valerie, Oh shit. "A combo?" I whispered.

Mark and Tyler looked at me, "You too?" they both whispered. I swallowed hard. We stared at the door. I reached in my pocket to pull out my keys. They were singing so loudly I doubt they would hear us. I stuck it in the lock turning it slowly. I pushed open the door, and all four of us guys stared at the scene in front of us. Angie played the shit out of her guitar dancing around while Laura was standing on top of my couch shaking her ass while Brenda sang dancing around with her eyes closed. Her face was flushed and I took in the whiskey on the coffee table. They were drunk, I chuckled quietly hearing them yell what seemed like the chorus.

We were enjoying the view when Brenda's eyes opened and she saw us. She cleared her throat loudly and all singing and the guitar stopped abruptly.

"You wrote a song about the time you killed my truck?" Tyler frowned hurt.

I pursued my lips together trying not to laugh. I silently thanked god Brenda never touched my Porsche. I might have killed her if she did that.

"Um…well…" Angie looked at Brenda then Laura, she squared her shoulders back proudly and lifted her chin a little, "Yeah…I did. Actually we all did."

Tyler stepped forward, "Why?"

"Carol…wanted a girl power song." she said shyly. He looked at her intensely.

"Wait…" Eric walked through the door, "You all wrote it? I never cheated on you." Eric directed the question towards Laura. I found it sort of comical these guys were that surprised. Then again besides the pool stick thing, I hadn't heard lyrics like you dumped me for my best friend, or you cheated on me the summer I went to Paris.

"Not you babe…Brian." Laura hopped off the couch.

Eric sighed, "Brian." he gritted his teeth. I guess he doesn't like Brian.

"Shania Karaoke?" Tyler whined, "Annng."

She smiled, "She did." she said innocently. I didn't get it.

"What about you?" I eyed Brenda, "Which part is yours?" she looked down shyly with a smile.

"Umm…blonde tramp getting frisky." I laughed out loud, I should have known. "Ummm the pool stick was Ang…but…I kind of inspired it. I blinked a few times, did she know?

She pointed at me, "Valerie." she pointed at Mark, "Slut from the pool hall." Mark crossed his arms and looked down ashamed. Shit she knew.

"My god we leave you girls alone for a couple hours and you write a man hatin song." Tyler shuffled over to the couch and plopped down. "Well…christ play it for us." he smiled. His embarrassment shedding, now his eyes showed proud of his girl. "I mean my poor Delilah did die for this song." Delilah? We looked at him, "My truck." he answered my silent question.

Mark laughed out loud, "I remember that story."

Brenda cleared her throat, "I have another one in there for you." she said with attitude and he shut up really quickly. I rolled my eyes. I was cool with Mark but fuck if I wanted to hear about their relationship. Fuck no.

Angie's song sounded good from what we heard from the hallway, I wanted to hear it too. Tyler said she was laying down tracks on her EP, which I had to ask what an EP was, it's like a mini album. I was very exited for her. Proud even, she was like another sister to me.

Laura looked at the girls and shrugged, "Shall we girls?" They smiled at her and we all joined Tyler on the couch as the girls stood before us.

The song began and I smiled at the girls, they were all feeling good by the looks of it and the half full bottle of whiskey on my table. The guys cracked up about bathroom polo and I only half way got the joke. I mean…they did have Polo cologne in the bathroom at the pub. I also thought it was hilarious when Brenda sang to Mark rudely about some girl acting drunk and him getting lucky. I couldn't help but feel a little superior that besides the pool stick, I didn't think this song was about me. Or at least directly.

After everyone went home, Brenda and I got ready for bed. I stared at her, she looked sexy in her silky nightgown she was wearing.

"Did Angie really do all that to Tyler's Ford F-250?" I asked curiously.

Brenda smiled and nodded, "Yep. Can you imagine?" she pulled the covers down and sat on her side of the bed.

"God no…you would never do that to my girl." My speedster that I had loved but put it in storage after Toni died.

Brenda sat quiet…too quiet, "Right?" I looked at her a hint of a smile behind her lips.

"I guess that depends." she laughed. "Now that the idea is in my head."

I grabbed her and pulled her to me roughly, "Stop…you're a bad girl." I whispered her lips against mine.

She smiled wider, "I dug my keys into the side of his pretty little black 1956 Porsche speedster…carved my name into his bucket seats." she sang and I laughed. "Maybe next time he'll think…before he cheats." she whispered and kissed me deeply.

"You wouldn't." I whispered back as I hovered over her. She raised her eyebrows at me, challenging me. I was so turned on, hmm maybe that's why Tyler forgave Angie, is that possible? Do we like the crazy ones? No…Brenda wouldn't ever do that, but this bad ass tough girl act, was sexy as fuck. Soon my boxers were on the ground with her blue lace panties, I left her sexy silky nightgown on but pulled it down under her breasts so I could play and see them. As I slipped into my Brenda, I thanked god my girl never took a Louisville slugger to my Porsche, god knows I had deserved it a few times. I was also happy that my cheating days were far behind me and that her recent cheater stories were of Mark. That night, we had sex roughly, it was full of passion and loud, which Brenda got when she had been drinking. What can I say…We were home again, we had great friends here…Life was good.

 _So a fun little chapter with Brenda and Dylan's London friends. I heard this song last week and I was jamming in the car and came up with the idea for this chapter. Hope you liked it. I'm still working on Little Fish. I haven't forgotten about it, but this one hadn't been updated in awhile and I missed my London lovers. Anyway hit review and show me some love._


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

 _trust in me_

 _cause i know the pain_

 _trust in me_

 _cause i know the cold nights_

 _trust in me_

 _cause i know the loneliness_

 _trust in me_

 _cause i know my heart_

 _trust in me_

 _cause i know my soul_

 _trust in me_

 _cause i know what i give_

 _trust in me_

 _cause i know who i am_

 _trust in me_

 _cause i know what i want_

 _trust in me_

 _cause i know i can trust you!_

 _T_ _erry_ _B_ _onam_

Rain…rain…rain. It had been raining in London for 4 days straight. No break…no LA sprinkle just thunder…lightening…and rain. I stared out the balcony window as it came down hard. I held my hot coffee against my chest and closed my eyes as I felt light kisses behind my ear and down my neck.

"Morning." Dylan's voice was sultry.

I smirked, turning my head to the side a bit. My lips softly taking his, "Morning handsome." He smiled closing his eyes pecking me softly again.

"You have to go out in that?" Dylan moved to my side and looked out into the rain. We had had the weekend off from rehearsal but Monday was the start of the week and rain or not it was on.

I sighed, "Yeah…10 o'clock call time." Dylan exhaled and shook his head.

"He's relentless." He mumbled. "Be careful." he kissed my temple and made his way into the kitchen to fetch what I assumed was his morning coffee.

Things had been peaceful on the home front. I had actually sat down with Dylan recently and started to plan our wedding. We hadn't made any huge decisions but we at least discussed what kind of wedding we wanted. It was early Spring now, my play was due to open in two weeks, it had come together very nicely since coming back from the holiday season and now finally opening night was almost here. Our wedding was practically a year away and I had so much to do still. I was brought out of my daze when the phone rang loudly.

"I got it babe." I called out, setting my coffee on the table and rushing over to the phone. "Hello."

"Brenda?" A whirl of words floated out of Iris's mouth but she was in hysterics, I couldn't understand her.

"Iris slow down…I can't understand you." My eyes met Dylan's as he rounded the corner from the kitchen clutching his mug like I had. His eyebrows pinned together, concerned.

"Erica…gone." I got that much out of Iris's feverishness cries.

"What about Erica? Iris?" my eyes not leaving Dylan's. He crossed the space between us in two seconds flat taking the phone away from me.

"Mom…where's Erica? What guy? Mom!" I wasn't getting much information from this post either. "What do you mean she's gone? Damn it Iris…take deep breath. Ok…now explain." Dylan didn't look at me as he listened, the silence as she explained felt like hours. I walked towards him, closer trying to read his face. Tears filled his eyes quickly. "Ok…call the police, I'll try to get a flight out as soon as I can." Dylan hit the off button looking down at the phone. He was silent.

"Baby? What happened?" I finally spoke, his eyes met mine and he swallowed hard.

"Erica is gone. Iris doesn't know where she went."

"What do you mean gone? Where the hell is she, she's sixteen years old."

"I don't know Brenda." he raised his voice at me, yelling practically.

I crossed the space between us placing my hands on his neck, "Hey." I whispered, his anger dissipating and he looked into my eyes. A tear rolled down his cheek and my heart broke. "Come here." I grabbed his hand tenderly and pulled him over to the couch. We sat down, resting my leg on it so I was facing him. I held his hand tightly, "What did she say?"

Dylan look a deep breath, "She said Erica has been dating this pro surfer, older by a few years. She had been happy and even though my mom wasn't thrilled with him being 19 she didn't make a huge deal about it until a couple days ago when she caught Erica stoned, smoking weed." Dylan shook his head. I rubbed my thumb on his hand absently. "Erica left pissed off at my mom and Iris has no idea where she is. I'm gonna call the airlines." Dylan got up quickly.

"Dylan…you'll never get a flight in this storm. I watched the news this morning, stuff is flooding, they said they hadn't seen a rain storm here in London like this since 1928."

Dylan gritted his teeth frustrated, "Brenda…I have to try…this is my sister. My mom doesn't know where to look, where surfers hang out, I fucking do."

I nodded silently, "Okay…I'll come with you." I got up just as quickly as he had.

"No baby…stay here…your play…just let me get there and if it comes down to it, you can come later. Don't throw away all your hard work until we know more." Dylan was right. Erica could have just had a little teenage tantrum and was shacking up with her boyfriend. In that time I could have thrown away the play by not being here. I nodded agreeing, I would give up my play for Erica if it was an emergency but he had a good point, we didn't know anything yet.

Dylan had been on the phone for an hour when I left for rehearsal. I was fucking soaking wet when I finally got to the theatre and grouchy. I hadn't seen Dylan like this ever. Then again I wasn't around when he had lost his sister the first time. I heard about it, knew him and Valerie had tracked them down in Mexico from Brandon but Dylan never talked about it besides the fact he was drinking again at that time and in a bad place after I moved here. I was worried about Erica, she was so young and I saw how boy crazy she was when she visited. I just hoped in my heart she wouldn't do anything stupid. I worried about Dylan too, he was strong but at the same time he was fragile. He had stayed sober through Toni's death but his sister meant everything to him. My mind was a million places, a familiar voice caught me off guard.

"Bren?" I looked up to see two green eyes staring back at me.

"Mark? What are you doing here?" Mark, myself and Dylan were in a better place now a days but he still was a touchy subject. Mark seemed okay with Dylan and myself, now that we were engaged but I saw the way he looked at me. If Mark was in love with me like he claimed, those feelings hadn't disappeared yet.

Mark smiled, his hands in his pockets, "I was about to ask you the same thing. My agent got me this job, saying they were in need of a guitar player. Anything to help pay the bills." he commented, "You in this play huh?" Great.

I nodded with a sigh, "Yeah." I answered simply, if Dylan wasn't in this mess with his sister at the moment I'm sure he would be thrilled at this new information. A play and touring again with Mark…thank you universe, what is with you?

"Cool." he looked at me, seeing my discomfort, "Is this okay? I don't want to make you uncomfortable…or Dylan for that matter." he said honestly. His face serious and honest. I instantly felt guilty.

I flicked my wrist at him, "Yeah…of course. We're adults, Dylan will be fine." I think I thought.

Mark breathed out relived, "Oh good…I need this gig. With Angie cutting her EP and Tyler playing on her tracks, I was nervous I would have to find a real job." he laughed and I joined in. I could picture Mark in a 9 to 5 as much as I could picture Dylan in one…meaning not at all.

"Alright everyone. Let's get started." I took my seat and Mark sat next to me as we gave our attention to Miles the director. "Thank you for tracking through this shite rain to get here. Opening night is in two weeks, Lenny is passing out the performance dates, with a list of rehearsals and meetings before we start touring in a month. I'd like to welcome our new guitar player Mark Maddox, he's amazing and I'm so grateful he was available to help us out these next 4 months." I smiled and looked at Mark who shyly waved to the group, then his eyes met mine as he subtly rolled them embarrassed of the attention. The group clapped to welcome him and I joined in pushing my shoulder to his playfully. "Alright let's get started, Brenda…the band…we will be rehearsing the singing areas of the play after rehearsal. We'll get Mark familiar with the rest of the band and go from there. It's gonna be a late night. Thanks again…let's get to it." Miles clapped a couple times and the cast began to move to set up to run the play through it's entirety.

Rehearsal had been long and exhausting. I thought it went well though. It seemed everyone was ready which was a great feeling considering we still had the next couple weeks to hammer it down even better. Most of the cast had gone home, and Mark and the rest of the band were setting up to go over the songs I perform in the play. Sylvia earns money for a little while playing in clubs in the play so those were the songs we were going over right now. Mark of course was phenomenal. He barely needed the rehearsal. He caught on with the songs and played like he had been with the band this whole time. As I was getting my things together and the band cleared out of the theater I reached in grabbing my pager seeing Dylan had paged me 7 times during rehearsal…all with 911 after. "Shit." I uttered.

Mark was at my side in an instant, us being the last people there, "Everything ok?" he asked concerned.

"Fuck." I whispered, "Not really…hey you don't have to wait for me, I'm gonna head to the office and use the phone. Dylan and I got some troubling news from Hawaii regarding his sister this morning and he paged me too many times to not see what's going on. I'll see you tomorrow." I barely looked at him grabbing my purse and hurrying down the steps to find a phone. Making my way into the office I picked up the phone and dialed home. After two rings a rushed Dylan picked up.

"Mom?" he answered.

"No…it's me…sorry rehearsal just got out. What's going on?"

"I'm leaving now. I'll call you when I get to Paris…I was able to get on the train tonight and I'll be able to fly out of Paris early tomorrow morning. I'll call you when I can."

Ugh…I hated he had to do this alone, "You're leaving now, can't you wait so I can say goodbye?" I didn't mean to be selfish but honestly I didn't know how long he was going to be gone.

"Brenda don't start with me. I have to go, I can't miss this train."

"Dylan…I love…" click…he was gone. I took deep breath exhaling as I looked down at the phone. He hung up on me.

"Dylan okay?" Mark was in the doorway, causally leaning against the doorframe like he had been there the whole time. I looked at him sadly.

"I don't know." I set the phone back on the hook.

"Come on…I'll walk you home." Mark said nicely. I nodded sadly with a million thoughts in my mind. I knew I couldn't take Dylan's short tone or mood too personally. He was worried about his sister and I understood that. Mark and I walked closely from the theater to my house. I had an umbrella and we hovered underneath it as I explained about the call this morning about Erica and Dylan's sudden need to leave town. He listened intently just being a friend and I was sort of grateful. When we got to my apartment building we stopped under the awning.

"You want to come up?" I don't know why I asked, probably because Mark had walked 10 minutes out of his way to walk me home and part of me didn't want to be alone. He smiled and looked out into the rain contemplating.

"Probably not a good idea." he looked back at me. I nodded knowing he was right. There wasn't anything between us and he had been nothing but a friend since Dylan had proposed but it probably wasn't the best idea.

I smiled, "Here take my umbrella…you can bring it back to rehearsal tomorrow." He reached for it. His hand coming over mine. I pulled mine away quickly.

"Thanks." he nodded taking it from me. "If you need anything Bren…you or Dylan…I'm just a phone call away." he said nicely.

Tears filled my eyes as I nodded, "Thanks."

"Hey…it will be okay. I'm sure he'll get out to Hawaii and find Erica and everything will be fine. You'll see." he smiled trying to reassure me. He leaned in holding onto the umbrella and wrapped one arm around my in a friendly hug. I closed my eyes praying that that was true. He pulled out first and wiped a tear from my wet cheek. His thumb grazed my cheek lovingly as he smiled at me. "Good night." he said quietly.

"Thanks again Mark…night." His linger holding a little longer, then he looked out into the rain again, debating, like he wanted to stay with me.

His eyes found mine again, "Get home…I'll be okay." I said knowing he was in a mind battle. He slowly nodded and just like that he hopped down the stairs into the rain and headed home.

I hadn't slept soundly in a week. That's how long Dylan had been gone. He did make it to Hawaii, it took him 2 days of trains and flights but he had called me to let me know he had made it there. He had planned to island hop after covering Maui visiting every hot surfing spot he knew existed on the islands. His calls were short when he checked in, not personal or loving, he didn't sound well, I was very very worried about him. The rain also had lasted a week here in London, the west end was holding up okay but other parts of the city were in bad shape. People were losing their homes and 4 people had drowned outside of the city. I didn't tell Dylan about it when we spoke, I didn't tell him about Mark either. Mark had been a perfect gentleman through this whole thing. Walking me home at night and being a friend I never knew I had in him. I knew Dylan wouldn't like it but it wasn't the time to tell him. Not with his sister still missing and him being away from me. Eric and Laura were backpacking through Europe both of them not having a play or anything at the moment. Tyler and Angie had been back to Texas twice recently, planning their wedding that was set for the fall in their home town. She was also recording her EP and she'd been busy. Ethan was doing Death of a Salesmen and touring Europe. That left Mark to talk to and lean on, a small part of me felt a little guilty but I trusted myself enough to know it was okay. One week, turned into two and soon it was opening night. Dylan was going to miss it, and sadly I hadn't talked to him at all in the past week and half. I felt like something was wrong.

I was in such a rush to get to the theatre, trying to get there early like I always did. I had been up all night talking to Iris, she hadn't heard from Dylan either. Last she knew Dylan had flown from Maui to Oahu to search the North Shore. Iris said Dylan was sure he would get some information there. The surfing community was small there and it was a well known place that surf enthusiasts made sure to venture to. It may be hard to get info being an outsider, he was far from a local but Dylan had a few friends down there still from his high school days and he was hoping they could give him something to go on. Iris also stated that newest bit of news was over a week ago. I didn't know why Dylan wasn't connecting with me. I mean a simple 5 minute this is what's happening, I love you, I miss you would have sufficed. I just kept telling myself that Dylan was dealing with something major and I shouldn't doubt his feelings or anything dramatic like that at this point. The phone ringing took me out of my head and I rushed it in hopes maybe Dylan was finally checking in.

"Hello?" I answered quickly.

"Bren? Hey!" It was Kelly.

"Hey Kel." I smiled a little set back but glad to hear her voice.

"You got a few minutes to chat?" She asked, her voice concerned now. Going early to the theater today wasn't going to happen it seemed.

"Sure…what's up? Everything okay?"

"Yeah I think so." I heard Kelly take a deep breath, "I guess I'll start with Brandon broke up with Tracy."

My eyes widened and a small smile broke from my face, "Seriously? When?"

"Last night. But I ran into Brandon at school and…" she paused.

"Oh my god Kelly…what I'm dying over here."

She giggled, "Last week we kissed." YES! my brain screamed, "And he said he couldn't stop thinking about me and we decided to spend more time together. We are going on a date tomorrow night."

I couldn't help the sequel that left my mouth, "Oh my god Kelly I'm so happy for you guys, I knew it! Dylan is going to flip."

Kelly was quiet, "Well…that's the other reason I was calling…Bren…is Dylan there, is he traveling?"

Shit…I didn't want to get into Erica or Iris, telling Mark was one thing but getting the whole gang back home involved and in the know without Dylan was a whole other thing. I wasn't sure if I should lie so I pussy footed, "Why do you ask?"

Kelly exhaled and the silence was killing me, what did she know, did she know where Dylan was? "Dylan sent me a telegram from New York."

What the ever loving FUCK? New York? I was speechless, my heart fluttered wildly. "Brenda…are you guys okay? Like as a couple?"

"Kelly…what did the telegram say?" My voice broke, ignoring that fucking comment.

"Um…it says…Hey Stranger…got an hour layover at LAX tomorrow Con West Air flight 457…Need to see you…important…tell no one…" she paused for a moment, "Love Dylan." She read it out loud. Air left my lungs I didn't know I was keeping in. I hadn't talked to Dylan in a week and a half, had no idea where my future fucking husband was, but he had time to send a fucking telegram to fucking Kelly. "Brenda?" I heard Kelly say over the phone. "Did I lose you?"

A sob left my throat, "I can't believe this." I whispered.

"Brenda." Kelly whispered feeling badly.

"No Thanks Kel…for telling me, I appreciate it."

"I wont go, if you don't want me too…I owe you that Bren after everything we've been through…I'm going on a date with Brandon, I love him, I've been wanting this for so long. Seeing it threw me off, I saw the two of you together, how happy and in love you guys are, what would he want with me?"

"No Kelly…you go…see what he wants." I knew what that fucking dick wanted. What he always wanted from Kelly.

"So Dylan…he isn't in London?"

I gently wiped the tears from my face with my free hand, "No…I thought he was in Hawaii. Dealing with a crisis over there, look Kel, I have to get going, it's opening night but thank you for telling me. Tell Brandon I said hi and have a good time on your date. Don't let Dylan's bullshit get in the way of what the two of you have again. I mean…unless you want it too." Fuck maybe she did. Maybe this was her way of asking permission? My heart broke in a tiny million pieces in that moment.

"Brenda…I love Brandon…I don't know what Dylan's deal is but that ship has sailed years ago. I love you." she said quietly.

"I love you too." I was opening crying now. Kelly knew something was going on with Dylan and I and sadly she knew more than I did at this point. I thought we were fine. I thought we were in love, I guess sadly…that's what I thought years ago too before he left me for my best friend.

"Bye Bren."

"Bye Kel."

I clicked off the phone staring down at it. My eyes closed tears falling like the rain outside. That son of a bitch. In that moment I threw the cordless phone as hard as I could at the mirror that hung by the front door. It shattered loudly falling in large chards to the floor. I picked up the picture of Dylan and I in Paris, me showing off my ring, the widest smiles I had ever seen from us, cheek to cheek. I felt myself collapse to the floor, hyperventilating with tears as I looked at it. After a moment I chucked that too. It hit the wall roughly with a bang, glass falling to the floor. My front door opened suddenly revealing two worried green eyes looking back at me.

 _Mark_.

 _Do you guys remember this storyline from the actual show? Dun Dun Duuuuunnnnnn. Hit review! Already started the next chapter for this. I'll post it if you show me some love. PS it's 1997, we 90's kids had pagers instead of cells. HA blast from the past huh lol_


	40. Chapter 40

_Here is the next chapter. We finally get to see into Mark's mind. I know most of you hate Mark and I don't want you too because I do not. I made a fanfic video to go along with this story, it's Brenda and Mark though. Check it out pretty please, it's on my youtube channel and most of my BD followers won't understand it if they haven't read this but sometimes putting some visuals to a story is fun. Below is the link, take out the spaces for it to work, between the . and the b and the - and the P. This chapter is very lyric heavy and I apologize for it. It's Mark he's lyric lol Also there is no poem to start this one out, it's not Dylan and Brenda poetic. Enjoy!_

youtu. be/IpZnz- P48YA

 _Chapter 40_

Mark's POV

I was a stupid mother fucker. Over the last two weeks, Brenda and I had spent every day together. I knew it was bad for me. I knew I needed to move on and honestly I had tried. I started dating a little, which got me fucking no where. I'd have a couple dates, find flaws and dump her. I'd have sex with a random girl, I pictured Brenda, no one was her and no one could take her place. Now I knew why I treated Brenda like shit over that year and half of dating, love sucked and it was scary as shit when it ended. I had even been friendly with Dylan, helped him with the guitar so he could sing a song to her. Something I used to do with her but no matter how hard that was, I didn't want to lose Brenda forever. I wanted her in my life. I knew she was deeply in love with him and there wasn't anything I could do. When my agent got me the job with This Town. I was just happy to get work. Things seemed to be moving musically for Angie and Tyler and I still had an apartment to pay for. I almost felt like I was selling out. I hadn't been writing my music or performing around town but when I saw Brenda was in the play on my first day, my opinion concerning it changed. I had never felt for anyone like I felt for her and the more I pushed myself to move on from her, the more in love with her I was. I had gotten to know Dylan more too, even with our rough start I respected him and I respected them as a couple, soon to be married couple. She was latching on to me because he was gone and I knew this. All of our friends were gone and for the first time since I had known Brenda she was alone. I was a stupid mother fucker because she wasn't mine and I still loved and lived for every moment she gave me, which had been only been friendship rom coming back from my tour. Something we never really had much as a couple. Brenda and I were all fire. I mean there were times when I thought my room would be set in flames when we were together. I had never had that heat with anyone in my entire life and I had been with and dated many girls in my life.

I headed over to Brenda's to see if she wanted to walk with me to the theater. The rain today had slowed but from the sound of the weather reports it wasn't going to last long. Being from San Francisco, this weather was hard to get used to no matter how long I had lived in London. As I walked down the hallway towards her apartment I heard glass shatter, it was loud and unnerving. My steps quickened and as I got to her door, I heard glass shatter again. My heart was beating wildly in my chest and this feeling of dread came over me. I reached for the door handle in hopes it was unlocked, and to my surprise it had been. I was not prepared for the scene in front of me. Her blue grey eyes stared into mine, I had never seen her like this. I had seen Brenda cry and yell when she had caught me with a girl but she was broken. Tears streamed down her face as she sat on the floor. My eyes left hers for a second and I took in the room. The mirror that hung by the front door now laid in pieces on the floor. I stepped over it hearing the crunch under my boot. I bend down and picked up a broken picture on the ground. Even with the broken glass over their faces you could see the picture of her and Dylan. Happy no not happy…ecstatic, blissful…elated. As I stared down at their joyous faces, showing the world who looked at it they were getting married an unrecognizable sob came from Brenda. She broke my heart as I walked closer to her. I sat besides her and gathered her broken self in my arms.

"What happened?" I whispered, my lips resting on the top of her head.

"Dylan…Kelly…again." she breathed through trying to get the words out. I knew the name Kelly, when Brenda and I started dating, in that first month when I fell in love with her before I started acting like a dumb fuck she told me about her past relationship. Dylan was her first love. They had dated seriously for years and she came to Europe with a girlfriend on a trip and she found out he had cheated on her with her best friend Kelly. Dylan had chose Kelly over Brenda, stuffing aside any history they had had together. I knew this and that's why when I first met Dylan, I made it my goal to show him Brenda had moved on from his ass, too bad that plan hadn't worked at all. I let her cry, if my heart was broken from losing Brenda before it was nothing like it was now. Seeing Brenda so upset over another man like this literally killed me. I held her close, comforted her. She was crying so hard I thought we'd both drown but I let her, as much as I hated to see her this way, I let her. After awhile Brenda sniffed she had been quiet in my arms. The hysterics from her sobs had died down and we sat there quiet as I rubbed absently down her arm. I knew we had to get going.

"We should go." Brenda whispered knowing that much too. Opening night was tonight and we were barely going to make our call time now. She leaned out from me, looking deep into my eyes. Her eyes brimmed with red. I reached up and moved a piece of her dark hair behind her ear and nodded.

"You want to talk about it?" I asked, not really knowing more than whatever she was crying over had to do with Dylan and Kelly again.

She shook her head, "No…I thought it was different this time but I guess I was wrong." She slowly pulled herself from the floor and reached out her hand to help me up. I took it tenderly and lifted myself to my feet. "We have a show to do." she said her voice pained.

As we walked to the theater she told me about the telegram. We walked closely under the umbrella, her smell in the rain strong and spell bounding.

"Bren." I took a deep breath and stopped. She turned to look at me, "Believe me the last thing I want to do is stick up for Dylan here but angel…just because he sent Kelly a telegram doesn't mean he's cheating on you or has any plans to cheat on you. Dylan wanting to meet an old friend at the airport doesn't mean anything."

Brenda rolled her pretty eyes at me, "Mark…you're handsome you are, but so blind." she smirked a little but sadness still evident behind those eyes. "Kelly isn't just an old friend. Dylan and Kelly have never been friends. If Dylan is reaching out to Kelly, out of all the people he could connect with on that fucking layover in Los Angeles, it's more than that. Trust me." she took a deep breath. "You don't know them together." she added quietly.

Holding on to the umbrella with one hand, my other went to her shoulder, "You're right…I don't. I don't know Dylan all that well and I sure as hell don't know this Kelly broad. I'm on your side Bren…I'm always on your side." She smiled at me and this time it reached her eyes. I moved my arm from her and set it gently around her shoulder. We walked the rest of the way in silence. Maybe she was right, what did I know?

The show had been magical. Brenda had received a long standing ovation. She poured so much emotion into Sylvia she almost had me in tears. She was phenomenal. I was so happy I got to be apart of it, to see her in her glory. Dylan…and all our friends missed out. It was outstanding. Brenda was a true actress. At the after party she drank her white wine, smiling and socializing with the cast and their friends and family. I watched her from afar in awe. She was a hell of a woman and Dylan was a stupid fucker for throwing her away. It was hard to believe it even to be true because I had never seen or met this Kelly but there was no way she had the shine, attraction, charisma, magnetism this girl had. She was a light in a world of dark. She was remarkable. It was late when we finally said our goodbyes to the cast and started our trek home in the pouring rain. Her laugh was electrifying when we ran the last block to her house. I couldn't help but smile. Brenda let out a wonderful giggle when we finally made it under the awning.

"So enough about me…how's your music coming?" I switched my guitar to my other shoulder and looked out into the rain. I took a deep breath.

"Truthfully, it's shit." my eyes found hers again. "I've written two songs in the last month. Angie's manager told me if I could get a few songs together and put together a show. She would have some industry people there but I just can't find the inspiration."

Brenda eyed me a smile on her lips, "I find that hard to believe. Come on."

I followed her into the lobby, my head screaming no Mark…this is a bad idea. She's sad, she isn't yours but my heart went with it. Like I said stupid mother fucker. We made it into her apartment still looking around at the damage she had caused.

"You got a broom?" I asked as I looked to her. She nodded slowly and went to fetch it. We cleaned up the glass quietly and Brenda had asked if I wanted a drink. I responded if she was having one. She looked at me like I was dumb for asking, of course she needed one. Her marriage or soon to be marriage was maybe ending. We sat silently on the couch chatting about the show when the lights went out. I heard Brenda cuss and soon after a few candles lit her living room. She sat next to me with a smile.

"Geez it's coming down out there."

"Yeah." I breathed. I grabbed my guitar, needing something with the silence and electricity sparking in the air. Funny since there wasn't any electricity in that moment. I strummed a soft melody and looked at her. That pull I felt with her thick in the air. I couldn't go there. I kept telling myself over and over again. I started the intro to a song Brenda had practically wrote herself what seemed like forever ago. I remember that night so fondly. She smiled warmly and started to sing it.

 _When you wake wanting me_

 _And you can't go back to sleep_

 _Change your mind_

 _When you're weak and all alone_

 _And you're reaching for the phone_

 _Change your mind_

 _Keep on going til you're gone_

 _Even when you when you think it's wrong_

 _When you look back in regret_

 _The moment that you left_

 _Change your mind_

 _Baby don't come back this time_

 _Don't wanna have to say goodbye_

 _All over again_

 _So if you think there's still a chance to make it right_

 _And I'm the only one you want tonight_

 _Change your mind_

 _In the early morning haze_

 _When my kiss is all you crave_

 _Let it go_

 _Cause I don't wanna do that dance_

 _The push and pull, the second chance_

 _I already know_

 _Yeah, I know_

 _You'll just promise me forever_

 _And then you'll take it back just like that_

 _Say you can't live without me, then you'll_

 _Change your mind_

 _Baby don't come back this time_

 _Don't wanna have to say goodbye_

 _All over again_

 _So if you think there's still a chance to make it right_

 _Change your mind_

I thought about that time and closed my eyes, "God Bren…I'm so sorry for the way I treated you. Hearing the words you wrote with me now…I can't believe I was so stupid. You were an amazing girlfriend. You're an amazing woman, I didn't deserve you." I added and she smiled.

"It was a long time ago. I know, love is scary. I get it." She looked down.

"Are you admitting you were in love with me?" I asked hopeful.

She laughed softly, "Mark…don't be an idiot, I stayed in London for you. I saw you flirt and play that rock star role better than anyone. The girls you slept with, kiss…I always came back because I didn't want to lose you. I loved you. I just couldn't admit it out loud because I knew you didn't feel the same." Brenda looked down and I scooted closer to her. My knee resting against hers as we faced each other on the couch.

I swallowed hard, "Only I did."

Brenda smirked and rolled her eyes, "So you say."

I started playing another song, "I wrote this recently. I missed you so much. After you and Dylan got engaged." The flinch I saw across her face when I mentioned his name, did not go unnoticed. "I knew I had lost you to him for good." I looked deeply in her eyes as I sang to her, like I used to.

 _It wasn't one big blow that brought our love down_

 _It was the hairline cracks that took it to the ground_

 _Just kept creepin' over time, Spreadin' like wildfire_

 _It wasn't one big blow that brought our love down_

 _Oh you didn't wanna see_

 _Didn't wanna believe_

 _The dream was gettin' colder_

 _Oh we begged the truth to bend_

 _It's easier to pretend_

 _Than to see it when you're sober_

 _You only wake up when it's over_

 _There was so much 'bout you I didn't realize_

 _There was so much 'bout me you couldn't recognize_

 _Cause you can only get a clear view, when it's fadin' in the rear view_

 _There was so much 'bout you I didn't realize_

 _Oh you didn't wanna see_

 _Didn't wanna believe_

 _The dream was gettin' colder_

 _Oh We begged the truth to bend_

 _It's easier to pretend_

 _Than to see it when you're sober_

 _You only wake up when it's over_

 _Oh We begged the truth to bend_

 _It's easier to pretend_

 _Than to see it when you're sober_

 _You only wake up when it's over_

 _S_ he smiled and looked down, "And now look where we are, we are apart and the man I have loved my whole life is probably fucking my best friend."

"Brenda…you don't know that." My hand went to her knee. My thumb grazing it lovingly. Her eyes on it. I closed my eyes trying to rein in my physical need to be with her. It wasn't the time, it wasn't the place. She wasn't mine.

"Sing me something else." she whispered. I sighed, all my songs were about her. Suddenly my new song sprang into my mind. I had to remind her. Remind her how much she loved Dylan, remind her she was here with me because he wasn't. Maybe I just needed to remind myself.

 _Would've thought you wrote down every word_

 _Goodbye spelled out like it had been rehearsed_

 _There ain't no point in trying to change your mind_

 _Seems like_

 _You've got it all figured out_

 _You're alright_

 _With the way this is going down_

 _Don't tell me we can still be friends_

 _Hanging on the weekend_

 _You're gonna be okay if I start seeing somebody new_

 _You hope that I do_

 _It won't be long_

 _Till I forget to call every time that I'm drinking_

 _And you ain't the love song_

 _I can't keep from singing_

 _I gotta be honest_

 _If y_ _ou really believe that's the truth_

 _You never loved me like I loved you_

 _By the way you're talking you would think_

 _You never had any real feelings for me_

 _And if you think I can look across the bar_

 _And see you_

 _In someone else's arms_

 _And_ _not need you_

 _Oh who do you think you are_

 _Trying to tell me we can still be friends_

 _Hanging on the weekend_

 _You're gonna be okay if I start seeing somebody new_

 _You hope that I do_

 _It won't be long_

 _Till I forget to call every time that I'm drinking_

 _And you ain't the love song_

 _I can't keep from singing_

 _I gotta be honest_

 _If y_ _ou really believe that's the truth_

 _You never loved me like I loved you_

 _You always told me_

 _You'd never leave me_

 _You said I was your one and only_

 _So what makes you think I wanna hear you say_

 _We can still be friends_

 _No I don't wanna be friends_

 _Stop telling me, stop telling me, woah_

 _That we can still be friends_

 _Hanging on the weekend_

 _You're gonna be okay if I start seeing somebody new_

 _You hope that I do_

 _It won't be long_

 _Till I forget to call every time that I'm drinking_

 _And you ain't the love song_

 _I can't keep from singing_

 _I gotta be honest_

 _If y_ _ou really believe that's the truth_

 _You never loved me like I loved you_

I looked deeply into her eyes, she had tears in them, "You never loved me like I loved you." I whispered finishing the song emotionally. Her lip quivered as tears flowed. In that moment my plan to make her remember where her heart was back fired. The force of her hands on my face made my guitar tumble to the ground. Her lips crashed with mine forcefully. My body responded, taking her face in my hands as my lips devoured hers. My tongue gliding effortlessly against hers. I breathed out into her hot mouth as our faces switched sides. The fire between us erupting in the dark living room. Our hands everywhere, groping, needing more, heat spreading through my body, tingles and flames surrounding us. My mind was in another place when I heard her moan, so sexy, so familiar becoming aware I was grasping her bare breast. I wasn't sure how her shirt became unbuttoned and her bra came off. Holy shit it was like an out of body experience and just now I had came back. She was on top of me, grinding her sweet heat against me, her chest exposed to me, woah! Flashbacks of being inside her, cumming with her, inside of her, fresh in the front of my mind as I aggressively kissed her back. Just as I was about to stop this, she gently pushed away from me getting up quickly. Her hand on her mouth, like she was surprised like she came back to real life too, holding her shirt closed covering up.

"Oh my god Mark…I'm so sorry. I can't do this."

I took a deep breath, "I know angel."

"You know?" she looked at me surprised.

I smiled and nodded getting up, "Brenda…if you weren't going to stop this I was. You're engaged…you love Dylan. You may be angry at him right now but you love him. Right?" If she told me no, it would take 3 seconds to carry her back to their fucking bedroom and bury myself in heaven.

She closed her eyes as tears fell from her eyes. "So much." she whispered. "But maybe it doesn't matter. I haven't talked to him and he's gone, maybe I shouldn't have stopped this." She was trying to talk herself into it.

"And you're here with me cause he isn't." I told her out loud. "Brenda…being with you like this is everything I dream about but…you aren't mine for the taking, you belong to him." She opened her mouth to protest, I knew Brenda well enough to know she was about to say she didn't "belong" to anyone, "Your heart is with him. All the fire in the world darlin can't take that away."

I rushed her taking her in my arms and planting a lingering kiss on her forehead. "I'm gonna go." I whispered against it. I felt her nod understanding. We both didn't want this to go down like this. My lips found her cheek now and I turned towards the door, packing up my guitar and trying not to look at her. If I did I may change my mind. She was vulnerable, it wouldn't take much to get her to sleep with me. I wasn't an asshole, I wasn't manipulative like people thought. I came back to Brenda every time because I loved her. It wasn't to play with her mind or have my cake and eat it too. I got scared ran and missed her. I saw her with idiots, played her our song, she came back every time because she knew that fire. There was a connection with us. She had my heart and maybe she always would, like Dylan always had hers. I reached for the door opening it but stopped before leaving. I turned around slowly taking in her beauty in the candle light. God I was stupid. I could be making love to her at this very moment, maybe Dylan was fucking Kelly maybe he wasn't, I could ruin them though for good once he found out we slept together. I probably would get my ass kicked but sex with Brenda was worth it. I took a deep breath and gave her my trademark smirk, the one I knew women melted for.

"If Dylan is as stupid as you seem to think he is, if you think he'd do that to you with your friend, he doesn't deserve you. You are a hell of a woman Brenda Walsh." I raised my eyebrows at her seductively with my smirk still in tact, "You know where I live angel." I flirted but then got serious, "I love you Bren."

"I know." she whispered, looking down at her engagement ring. Her eyes met mine again. I'd have to wait and see. I couldn't imagine Dylan being that stupid, but then again if he was, my gain, I'd spend my life cherishing her, making love to her, kissing her, trying to make up everything I had done to her. She'd have to find out though what was happening with Dylan. If Brenda and I ever got together again, sexually, for the long haul whichever, she'd have to be all mine, I wasn't going to share her. I didn't want it any other way. I winked at her slinging my guitar case over my shoulder and left before I changed my mind. My heart and head aching…along with my dick. I expected to feel better about doing the right thing, I expected to feel free maybe grown up…empowered. No…no I didn't feel better…I felt like a stupid mother fucker.

 _See don't hate Mark. I love him. lol Next up…we find out about Dylan…and some news that explains what the fuck happened in Beverly Hills with that telegram. Next up Dylan's point of view. Explain yourself mister! Has anyone seen this episode, season 7, The Long Goodbye? It's a good one. ;)_


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

 _so many things are said,_

 _so little of them done,_

 _yet trust me?_

 _so hard to do,_

 _please do not say that,_

 _it hurts more,_

 _than any truth could,_

 _you have ruined,_

 _my trust in people,_

 _my trust in friends,_

 _say what you mean,_

 _say it to my face,_

 _do not play those little games,_

 _because;_

 _one day you will,_

 _take it too far,_

 _and i will snap back,_

 _and trust ME,_

 _you will not get up._

 _By_ _Maya Robena_

 _ **Beverly Hills**_

 _Brandon grabbed the trash as Valerie spoke, "So…you gonna meet Kelly there?" there was a show at school, David, Donna, Steve, Claire all apart of it._

" _Hey Val…that would fall under the…mind your own business category that we discussed earlier." Valerie wasn't happy with Brandon ending things with Tracy and the possibility of a Brandon and Kelly reunion._

 _Brandon walked around the kitchen counter heading to the back door, trash in hand. "Well…she will probably be late anyway, the traffic from LAX could be really hectic." Brandon froze the back door open. He set the trash bag outside of the door, closing it and looked curiously at Valerie._

" _What exactly are you talking about?" Brandon's hand went into his pocket._

 _Valerie bit her lip, excitement in her eyes, "Kelly got a telegram last night…from Dylan…he wanted to see her."_

 _Brandon stared at her, old jealous feelings spreading over him. Then thoughts of his sister, happy from Christmas, New Years. Dylan's huge engagement ring on her finger. "And you're in possession of this information because…"_

 _Valerie smirked, "You're gonna hate me."_

 _Brandon nodded once, "Quite possibly."_

 _Valerie took a deep breath and looked at the ground before making eye contact with Brandon again, "I had a friend of mine from New York send it. It's fake."_

 _Brandon shook his head, "You have got to be kidding me." He smiled because Valerie never ceased to surprise him._

" _No…I'm sorry Brandon okay…it was the only way for you to see that Kelly is not over Dylan." Brandon exhaled and crossed his arms._

" _And you wonder why people think you're manipulative." Brandon's eyes hard now._

" _I just don't want you to throw away what you have with Tracy for somebody who doesn't really love you."_

" _Val." Brandon stood up straight. "Kelly going to the airport to pick up an old friend doesn't mean anything."_

" _You know Dylan is more than that." Valerie lifted her eyebrows._

" _He's engaged to Brenda. You saw them, it was like they were the only two people in this town. Kelly won't fall for it."_

" _Look…if it's so innocent then why isn't she telling you about it?" Valerie had a point. "Brandon I'm just trying to be your friend right now okay?" Brandon turned away from her again, disappointed but too many things floating around his head._

" _Alright look, there is only one way to find out." Valerie reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. She set it on the counter. "Here's the flight information."_

 _Brandon grabbed it and crumpled it up, "You know what…I don't spy on my friends. And I don't devise little loyalty tests either." he set down the crumpled sheet._

 _Valerie exhaled, "Okay fine. I just hope Kelly's worth your trust." And with that Valerie walked away leaving Brandon with his thoughts. He looked down at the paper. He was torn. He loved Kelly and he wanted to be with her. Dylan had always been a thorn in their relationship. He grabbed the paper and opened it up. He took a deep breath, maybe there was only one way to find out the truth, for himself anyway...it wasn't like Dylan was really coming, at least Brenda and Dylan would be fine._

 _Kelly waited as people started piling off of the plane. She watched person after person come off of the plane. She even thought she saw a tall thin man with sideburns making his way through the doors but he came into view and it wasn't Dylan at all. She had a bone to pick with Dylan. After talking to Brenda and hearing how upset she was, she wasn't going to let him do this to her again. She had come to far with her, made up and had gotten close again. Talking on the phone, writing emails, Brenda and Kelly, even though she lived in another country were finally close again. She wanted to get to the bottom of this. She exhaled frustrated not seeing him. She went up to the flight attendants asking, was there anyone left on the plane? They shook their head no. She would never understand Dylan McKay and his games. She shook her head now being late for the campus show and walked quickly towards the exist. Brandon made himself known hanging up the phone he had pretended to talk on as he watched her. She was all dressed up. She looked pissed even he hadn't shown up. Brandon's heart broke. She had actually came, and here he was suppose to meet her in a couple hours for their long awaited date. Knowing Kelly wasn't home he called her, left a message canceling their date and made his way home. The reality thick that maybe Valerie was right after all, maybe Kelly was still in love with Dylan._

 _DPOV_

She was gone. Erica was gone again. I had been beside myself with worry. I had followed every lead on every island only to come to the final news that Erica had followed that stoner douche to California. I spent three days getting drunk, then three days hating myself. I relapsed again. I hadn't talked to Bren because honestly the last time I had, she knew something was up and I didn't have the balls to tell her what I had done, I could practically see her concerned disappointed eyes just thinking about it. When I hit the North Shore, I had missed Erica by one fucking day. Surprisingly they had been open to tell me where they were off too. Seems they had sold some things, probably stolen shit and bought two airline tickets to California, where in California I didn't know. I had gotten a ticket back to the UK. I had stopped off in Los Angeles but honestly I didn't know if that was where she was heading, so it just happened to be where my layover was but I wasn't going to call Brandon just because I was here, I only wanted to get home to her. I missed Brenda…I was exhausted. Maybe once I got home, I could get ahold of Jonsey. I knew Valerie was still in contact with him considering she used him to track me down. I looked at my watch, it was early evening in London. I swallowed my pride, found my balls and called home. Brenda must have been worried sick about me. It rang and rang, my answering machine didn't even click on, that's odd. I walked over to the bar and ordered a coke, yeah my dumb ass was back on the wagon. I looked up at the international news report. Looks like they were talking about the UK.

"Hey miss…can you turn that up a second?" I asked the bartender. She nodded politely and turned up the volume.

The news caster went on and on about the biggest storm to hit London in 70 years. Most of London had no power, people were losing their homes, 7 people dead from accidental drownings. They were even evacuating some of the city. My heart stopped beating for a moment. I left my Brenda in that shit alone? On some fucking mission to find my sister, who by the way was acting like a spoiled little child. I could NOT get home fast enough. What was wrong with me…if anything happened to Brenda…I would never forgive myself. I hurried to the desk in hopes I could get a one way to Heathrow, trade in what I had purchased already. I didn't care what it would cost me. Cost me…it would!

The storm made it impossible to get to London direct. I got as far as Oxford, which was a little less than 2 hours from London. I grabbed a ticket on the tube and decided that was the only way to get home. It would be quick and so far the tube was still running. I wasn't sure how long it would so I bought my ticket and jumped on without calling home again. In 70 minutes I'd be home to my girl. I closed my eyes as I found a seat and thought about her, how much I had missed her, how much I loved her and how much I physically ached to see her, to touch her. I could only hope her play went really well, that is if it was running with the power outage and she was so busy she wouldn't be too mad at me for not checking in. Brenda was an amazingly forgiving person, I would worship her every inch when I got home, I would make it up to her.

 ** _Beverly Hills_**

 _Brandon sadly sat on his bed wondering how everything got so messed up. He had broken things off with Tracy, made plans with Kelly finally. It seemed like everything he wanted was within reach. After having a I told you so conversation with Valerie he could have lived without. Brandon made his way downstairs to answer the ringing doorbell. He opened it quickly to find a pissed off Kelly on the other side of it._

" _Well?" Kelly stared at him waiting for an explanation._

" _Couldn't have said it better myself." Brandon shook his head and stuck his hands in his pockets. He had news for Kelly, he was pissed off too._

 _Kelly exhaled not really getting that comment, "Can I come in?"_

 _Brandon stood to the side, lifting his hand for her to come in. Kelly walked past him and entered, making her way into the living room. She stepped down the couple steps to the living room, "So…I've been waiting at Yamashiro for the past hour but you probably have a good explanation on why you stood me up." Kelly looked at Brandon, hurt and anger in her eyes._

" _I didn't stand you up, I canceled, I called and left you a message."_

" _Well I didn't get that message." Kelly's hands went to her hips. "So…what is it? It must be pretty important that you would cancel a date you claim you have been waiting two years for."_

" _I saw you." Brandon was going to tell the truth._

" _You saw me? Wh….what does that mean?"_

" _I saw you." Brandon took the steps into the living room, "I saw you waiting at the airport for Dylan."_

" _Wait a minute how do you know about Dylan? Did you talk to Brenda?"_

" _Brenda?" Brandon asked surprised. "No." What the hell?_

" _Wait how do you know? Were you following me?" Kelly was in shock, what was going on here?_

" _It doesn't matter how I know. The issue is you and Dylan._

" _No." Kelly shook her head, "The issue is trust. What kind of relationship did you intend to build based on spying?"_

" _I didn't." Kelly's mouth dropped, "Not with a woman that is in love with another man."_

" _You think I'm still in love with Dylan? Brenda's Dylan? Your soon to be brother in law hopefully if he doesn't screw it up, Dylan?"_

" _Yeah…yeah I do…it didn't stop you before. With Brenda or with me."_

 _Kelly looked like she had been punched in the stomach._

" _I'm not in love with Dylan." she said softly._

" _Really? Then why did you go to meet him…alone…secretly…all dressed up?" Brandon swallowed hard._

 _Kelly closed her eyes and shook her head, "I dressed up for you…I didn't think I'd have time to go home and change before our date. I went to meet him because he is a friend and he asked me too. I went to meet him to find out why the hell he wasn't in London with Brenda." Kelly swallowed hard, "And for one other reason."_

 _Brandon took a step closer to her, "And what's that?"_

" _To tell him that I had finally chosen." Kelly reached down her dress and pulled the engagement ring from her chest, hanging on a shiny silver chain. She showed it to Brandon._

" _That's our ring…how did you get it?" He asked confused._

 _Tears filled Kelly's eyes, "I couldn't bare anyone else having it. So that day on Christmas Eve, I went to the jeweler, after you left I went back." Kelly closed her eyes and swallowed, feeling a little embarrassed._

" _And you bought it?" Brandon asked shocked. She nodded before opening her eyes. "Why?" he asked._

" _Because it's ours…whatever happens…it's our ring." They stared at each other. Brandon's heart fluttering a million miles a minute. He stood speechless, her eyes staring intently into his own. "Say something Brandon." Kelly's voice broke._

 _Brandon took one step closer to her, he leaned in, "I love you." he whispered before taking her lips to his._

 _Kelly closed her eyes, "I love you too." she whispered back against his lips, kissing him hungrily._

 _Kelly backed away realizing, "How did you know about the telegram? Did you talk to Bren? Was she okay, she didn't sound good when I talked to her."_

" _Wait a second…you talked to Brenda?"_

 _Kelly nodded, "Yeah when I got that telegram I called Brenda, I thought I owed it to her to tell her and I guess I wanted to be prepared for what the hell he might have wanted. I saw them around the holidays, I saw how connected they were, I was at a loss."_

 _Brandon closed his eyes moving to the couch, plopping down on it. "Oh my god Kel. The telegram wasn't real. It was fake. Dylan didn't send you a telegram." Kelly looked at him confused, "Valerie did."_

" _Valerie?" Confusion…then Kelly's mouth dropped, "You mean…she was testing me? That bitch!." Kelly moved quick towards the stairs. Kelly's palm had her name on it. Brandon was quicker as he moved in front of her._

" _I'll handle." Kelly tried to pull from his grasp, "We'll handle Valerie later. Come on." he reached for Kelly's hand and dragged her to the kitchen. He picked up the phone and dialed Brenda and Dylan's apartment. It rang and rang with no machine. "Damn it." He slammed it down. He picked it up again and dialed her pager. He entered the home number followed by 911 and it hit pound. "What exactly did Brenda say?" Brandon hoped Brenda would call him as he hung up._

" _She was heartbroken, she said she thought Dylan was in Hawaii dealing with a family issue, she was crying. Do you see what Valerie is capable of? Not only was she trying to split us up she created this mess with Brenda and Dylan. She can't just play with peoples lives Brandon." Brandon took Kelly into his arms._

" _Hey…hey I know. Brenda and Dylan will be fine. You know them, you saw them at Dylan's playing that game. They are on another level. They love each other. They're getting married."_

" _You didn't hear her Brandon, it was like she hadn't even spoke with him." Kelly thought hard, "I have $3500 in my savings account. I was saving it so I could go to London next summer, for the wedding. Go upstairs and pack a bag, we'll go by the beach apartment so I can grab a few things." Kelly pulled Brandon's hand. He pulled it back._

" _Where are we going?"_

" _We're going to London."_

 _Brandon laughed out loud, "London? We can't go to London Kelly."_

" _Brandon…this mess isn't something you can explain to someone over the phone. I was the reason for the fall of Brenda and Dylan the first time…I won't be to blame this time. Please Brandon. You either come with me or I'm going alone."_

 _Brandon took a deep breath. "Kelly let's just wait and see what happens okay? We will give it the night, see if Bren calls us and we'll explain that this whole telegram was a mistake."_

" _Yeah…Valerie's a mistake." Kelly shook her head._

 _Brandon smiled knowing she had a point, Valerie was something else. "If we can't get a hold of her, I will go with you to London to sort this out. Deal?"_

 _Kelly sighed, "Deal."_

DPOV

I had honestly been traveling for over 15 hours, closer to 20 probably. I was exhausted, I was grouchy, I was worried about Erica and I was desperate to see my girl. The elevator was out of order and the building was dark. No electricity, so I had to take the stairs which sucked. The only light was the generator florescent glow that lined the ground. I dragged my ass down the hallway to our apartment. I let out a long sigh looking at my front door. Thank you lord. I fished out my key and inserted into the lock. The sound as the door unlatched was lovely. Home sweet home. I pushed opened my door and took a look around. It was dark but there were candles burning, that lit up the room in a flickering orange glow. My heart stopped at the sight before me. Brenda lay on the couch, her head resting in his lap. He laid with his head resting back on the couch, his hand resting on her hip…too close to her ass. I dropped my duffle bag to the ground, it made a loud plop. Mark's head shot up and after a second it moved towards me.

"Dylan?" he whispered surprised at my presence.

"Get…out…of my house." my teeth gritted together.

Mark was set back he moved his hand on Brenda's hip, gently shaking her awake. The contact made me fume. "Get out of my house." I yelled, I was not in the mood for this shit. I had been gone a couple weeks, what the fuck happened when I was gone? This time Brenda woke and sat up, rubbing her eyes. She stood slowly staring at me. She didn't even look guilty. My eyes stared back at her. Our stares burning holes in ourselves until Mark's body stood up placing himself between us. My body radiating anger I was shaking.

His hands came out in a sign of peace, peace my ass. "I'll leave Dylan but not until you calm down." he said slow and controlled. "I know you two have some some things to talk about."

My face turned in fury, talk about what? I leave and what she's leaving me for this asshole? I stepped towards him. "What the fuck is going on here? I leave for two weeks and you're already making a move on my fiancé."

Brenda crossed her arms and moved towards me, "Where have you been?" She was angry, more angry then I had ever seen her.

"What do you mean where was I…you know where I was…I was in Hawaii trying to find my sister." I was angry too because it was 2 in the fucking morning, I had just spent 20 hours trying to get home and Mark and Brenda were together on my fucking couch. I looked into her eyes intently, "I'm gonna ask you once Bren…are you sleeping with Mark?"

She crossed her arms and smirked, "I don't know Dylan…are you sleeping with Kelly?"

What the fuck? Kelly? Is she serious? I felt like I was in an alternate universe. It was like the twilight zone. "What are you talking about?" I yelled loud…getting closer to her. Mark then got close to me, in between us, like some kind of fucking protector.

"Calm down." he seethed. Who the fuck did he think he was?

"It's ok Mark…you can go…thanks for staying with me…I'll see you tomorrow if the next performance doesn't get cancelled like today's." I stared at their interaction, it was different, I didn't like it. Her performance…see him tomorrow?

"Bren." he looked at her, then at me, "I don't feel comfortable leaving you with him this angry." Oh my God this guy had nerve and I was about to beat the shit out of him.

"Dylan…would never hurt me." she looked at me, anger fading and sadness flowed through over her face, "Not physically anyway." she said softly. I stood quiet. That was a low blow, was she really this angry that I hadn't checked in? Did she think that I had been with Kelly of all people automatically just because I hadn't called her often? I didn't understand, she was here when I got the call from Iris, she knew Erica was missing. I looked at Mark waiting for him to leave. Maybe if I kept my mouth shut he would go so I could get to the bottom of this.

Mark took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. He leaned in kissing her cheek softly, "I'll see you tomorrow." his eyes fixated on mine then. Almost warning me. Brenda nodded sadly and I watched Mark grab his guitar and leave quickly. As the front door closed behind him I looked at Brenda, hurt pulsing through my veins. We stood quiet for what seemed like hours.

I spoke first calmly, "Look Brenda…I'm tired…I'm confused and I really think I deserve an explanation for what I just walked in on? I thought we were doing fine…you're wearing my ring…we're planning a wedding? What was he doing here?"

Brenda spoke calmly also, "Mark was here because there isn't power. We were together when we found out our performance was canceled due to the storm. We fell asleep and frankly I didn't want to be alone in this apartment another night."

"Our performance? Mark is in the play? Since when?" my voice angry again.

"Since now…he's in the band."

I laughed smart ass laugh, "Of course he is." I shook my head rubbing down my face. I walked close to her, she stood her ground and stared right into my eyes, hard…cold.

"You would have known all of this if maybe you checked in once in awhile." she said harsh.

I threw my hands up, "Is this what this is a about, because I didn't call you every second. I was looking for Erica Bren…my little sister…remember her?

"Oh I remember Dylan." She crossed her arms, a hard smirk crossed her face, "So…Hawaii huh? You weren't in LA?" her eyes steely.

"I had a layover." What the hell did that have to do with anything?

Brenda shook her head, "I don't believe this." she breathed out.

"You never answered my question Bren…did you sleep with Mark?"

She looked me straight in the eye, "No…as a matter of fact I didn't. Did you sleep with Kelly?"

"What the hell is up with bringing up Kelly? I didn't even see Kelly!" I raised my voice again, I was tired and this shit was getting on my last nerve.

"Yeah because she probably didn't show up." She said quietly, almost like she didn't mean for me to hear. I was about to question it but Brenda swallowed hard and she shook her head sadly, "I don't believe you." she said quietly. I took a deep breath and moved towards her. This was ridiculous, I loved her, I had missed her. She tried to turn from me but I grabbed her upper arms gently. My knees bent so she had to look me in the eye.

"I'm sorry I didn't call. I've been thinking about you the whole time…I was ashamed. I drank again and I didn't have the balls to tell you I fucked up…I had to go and do this, I had to find Erica, please don't think that I didn't care…I did…I do." She tried to pull away again, I pulled her back, "Brenda…I love you, you know I do." I pleaded.

"I don't know anything anymore." after a moment of silence she spoke again, "I think it's best if you move out for a little while."

"What?" my hands dropped from her arms, "No." I shook my head.

"Dylan." She breathed calming a little.

"Brenda…no…this is my apartment too, this is OUR home. We're getting married." I thought for a moment, a sad realization came over me. "Is this about Mark? Is this what this is? You want him back?" for the first time since coming home, my voice broke and tears threatened to reveal themselves.

She shook her head, "No Dylan…that is not what this is about…this is about trust and I don't think there is much on either side right now." She looked at me sadly a tear running down her cheek. She turned and headed to our bedroom.

"Bren?" I reached for her but she was too far. "Brenda?" The bedroom door slammed shut and I shut my eyes tightly. What the fuck happened when I was gone? I walked sadly over the the balcony window. I watched the rain beat down on the dark west end. The tears I had been keeping at bay finally falling. What was I going to do with out my light? My Bren? The thought alone made me want to drink again really bad. I didn't think I'd survive losing my sister and the love of my life, truthfully I didn't really want to.

 _So there is a lot of confusion going on and a lot of mistrust. Valerie's fake telegram to help Brandon really blew up in everyone's face huh? Do you think Brandon and Kelly should come to London, do you think a phone call would set this mess straight? Let me know and thanks those of you that are faithful readers and reviewers. You are my favorite people ever!_


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

 _ **In Muted Tone**_

 _Gently, let us steep our love_

 _In the silence deep, as thus,_

 _Branches arching high above_

 _Twine their shadows over us._

 _Let us blend our souls as one,_

 _Hearts_ _'_ _and senses_ _'_ _ecstasies,_

 _Evergreen, in unison_

 _With the pines_ _' vague lethargies._

 _Dim your eyes and, heart at rest,_

 _Freed from all futile endeavor,_

 _Arms crossed on your slumbering breast,_

 _Banish vain desire forever._

 _Let us yield then, you and I,_

 _To the waftings, calm and sweet,_

 _As their breeze-blown lullaby_

 _Sways the gold grass at your feet._

 _And, when night begins to fall_

 _From the black oaks, darkening,_

 _In the nightingale_ _'_ _s soft call_

 _Our despair will, solemn, sing._

 _By Paul Verlaine_

Two days…I hadn't sat down to talk to Dylan in 2 days. He was still dealing with his missing sister. Messaging Iris often and even got in contact with Jonsey. He had really only sent Jonsey an email. I didn't know Jonsey but from the sounds of him he sounded flighty but good at what he did. I had hoped Jonsey would get in touch with Dylan at some point. The storm here had finally subsided but the theater had water damage that they were frantically trying to fix. We had yet to start performances but Miles seemed to be sure we would start up in a week or so and our production would only be 3 weeks behind schedule. He said by taking off a city on our tour we should be able to make it up. Dylan had slept the past two nights in the loft. I kept to myself mostly staying in the bedroom when I was home and he stayed in the loft for the most part. We'd cross paths a couple times a day in the apartment in passing but no words were spoken. Mark had come by yesterday to check on me. There wasn't any fights or arguing between him and Dylan but as Mark and I caught up about rehearsals and the play we heard Dylan slamming stuff in the loft. He didn't show his face though. What a shitty predicament Dylan and myself were in. Here were two people, who had known each other for so long. Had been through amazing and tough times together, had cared for each other so deeply and we couldn't even talk to one another. There was a lot of resentment inside. For the telegram and for his cold behavior. Obviously on his side as well, with Mark, my anger towards him, who knows he hadn't really told me.

I was getting dressed for the day when I heard movement in the living room. I had planned to venture out of the house to buy a new phone we so desperately needed. It had been a few days without one and it was becoming a pain to depend on my email for updates on the play, plus if Jonsey called it would be a hell of a lot faster then email. Brandon had also paged me 5 times in the last couple days. I had planned to call him back after getting the new phone which I had thrown and broke to see what he had wanted. I had three guesses, either he was calling to check in, maybe hearing about the weather, it seemed this storm had made international news, two to tell me about his date with Kelly, now knowing she didn't go meet Dylan I was assuming they had went out, or three he had found out about Dylan and Kelly's meeting, maybe he was lying and he was as upset as I was. Either guess could wait for me to get a new phone. I was in no rush to tell Brandon how fragile things were around here, to hear him heartbroken over Kelly Taylor again or maybe to hear how incredibly in love and happy they were considering my relationship with Dylan was in shambles. My brother could wait until this afternoon. I laced my combat boots up and made my way out to the kitchen. I stopped in the doorway seeing Dylan standing near the sink looking out into the city. He clutched his coffee mug, staring out deep in thought. I took a deep breath and approached the coffee maker. From my peripheral I saw him glance at me but he looked straight ahead again. Pouring myself a cup of coffee silence filled the kitchen that was almost deafening. I moved around adding cream and minding my business trying not to look at him. As I walked towards the kitchen doorway, I froze my back turned to him as he spoke.

"Are you really done with me Bren? Is this really it?" He spoke softly. "It's been two days of sleeping apart and giving you space. Maybe I _should_ move out for a little while? Go back to Beverly Hills…" silence.

I closed my eyes as trader tears rolled down my cheek. He would go back to the city which held a certain blonde.

I sniffed quickly, "If that's what you want." I replied trying to keep my voice normal. I turned slowly to see him do the same. His eyes burned into mine as we stared at one another.

"Is that what you want?" his voice sad.

"I don't know what I want Dylan." I sighed and set down my mug.

He took two steps forward towards the counter setting down his coffee too. His hands went directly into his pockets looking down before making eye contact with me. "Part of me thinks it's a good idea, a break, some distance but…" He took a deep breath, "Part of me doesn't want to. Like if I left it would be the end of us."

I simply shrugged, knowing that was probably true, you can't reconnect or work things out when two people are so far away from each other. "Brenda I don't know what I did to change things so much. I know I'm an asshole at times, I know I can be self centered, selfish and inconsiderate. I should have called you, I know that, but part of me thinks this has to do with something else. Here I am heartbroken and you're running around with your ex boyfriend. If you want to get back with Mark just fucking tell me. Just lay it out because it seems bluntly obvious that's where this is going." His voice got hard at the end, he was upset and he was angry, he was trying not to start a fight, put his tone told me more.

I thought about being second choice, I thought about Kelly being in love with my brother and how different it might be if she wasn't. I wouldn't lose him to Kelly again. I was better than that. "This Dylan…has little to do with Mark." my voice hard too.

He shook his head and smirked, "Yeah right…I have been nothing but fucking faithful to you. You're the one who hasn't changed…you're the one that's a cheater!" he yelled the last part.

"How fucking dare you!" I clenched my teeth.

"What is it Bren…you want me to leave, pine over you while you have permission to fuck around with Mark. I see you together, you guys are different. If I had to make a guess I think you probably have fucked him already."

I moved so quick I hardly felt my feet moving. My hand came up and slapped him as hard as I could. His face hung sideways from the force. He slowly turned towards me, hurt and anger in his eyes. "Fuck you." I whispered harshly.

"Fuck me…fuck you!" he yelled loudly. Tears brimmed my eyes as I turned quickly. I headed to our bedroom grabbing a bag from the closet. I forcibly started packing shit, clothes whatever I could find. He was at the doorway, watching me.

"Where are you going?" he said, his voice sad and irritated. "Let me guess…his name starts with an M…am I right?" He was condescending now.

I huffed and continued to frustratedly shove my shit in the bag. I wasn't going to say anything because I didn't know where I was going. Instead I grabbed my engagement ring off my left hand and threw it at him, "You can have your fucking ring back." it hit his chest and his hand went against his heart catching it against his shirt.

"Fine." he screamed.

"Fine. I screamed back. I zipped my bag up and walked quickly towards him, bumping his shoulder in passing. A beat…two beats.

"Brenda wait." he was rushing me, "Brenda." he called out loudly. He grabbed my bag from me, holding it away from me. "Tell me what I fucking did. Please tell me." he begged, pain deep within his voice.

I looked down, now openly crying. "I'm tired Dylan…I'm tired of being second choice."

He looked confused, "Second choice? You have never been second choice." he said loudly.

I laughed out loud, "I've been second choice since the moment I walked off that that plane from Paris. You left me for my best friend in which you claim to be soulmates with at some point, you married someone else. I have always been second choice."

He stood there shocked, he swallowed hard, "Brenda…no you haven't. You have always been the most important relationship I have ever had in my life. You were always in my heart, when I was dating other women, even on my fucking wedding day I thought about you. How you would react to the news, if you hated me, if you would even care. You consumed me, you've always held my heart. I'm so in love with you. Why can't you see that…understand that?"

"Then why did you want to meet her? Why did you send that fucking telegram…to her. Why didn't you have time to call me in that week but you had time to actually send a fucking telegram?" I sobbed out. I wanted to believe his words. I wanted to believe I was Dylan's true love like he was mine. That we had fallen for each other so wholly, so irrevocably that no amount of time or space or distance could deny it.

"What telegram? I didn't send anyone a telegram." He dropped my bag to the ground and took a step towards me. "What telegram Brenda?" his voice was pained, sad and confused. As I looked at him, his eyes were genuine, like he didn't know what I was talking about.

"Uh…" I jumbled over my thoughts, "The telegram you sent Kelly…to meet you at LAX on your layover." my voice broke.

The doorbell rang out. He looked at me so lost, like he was trying to understand all of this. Why I was so angry with him. I took a deep breath and moved towards the door. He grabbed my hand.

"What telegram Brenda? I didn't send Kelly a telegram."

"Hold on." I pulled back from his hand and reached for the door. As I opened it up, two pairs of blue eyes stared back at me. Brandon my twin brother and Kelly my best friend. The topic of the conversation we were arguing about stood in front of Dylan and my doorway. My face had to reflect confusion now too.

"Wh…what are you guys doing here…in London?" Holy shit!

Kelly and Brandon looked at each other then back at me, "We have been trying to call you for days Bren." Brandon said slightly irritated but more worried. I knew by their looks they could tell I had been crying.

I looked down remembering Brandon's many pages and having no working phone at the moment. "I was going to call you today. I got your 5 pages, our phone broke." I swallowed not wanting to say exactly how our phone broke.

"5 pages Bren? Try like 20." Brandon sighed.

"There was a storm…no power here until early this morning, the phone lines have been messed up too. I'm sorry I didn't call you back."

"Can we come in?" Kelly asked. I nodded and moved sideways. Both Kelly and Brandon moved into our living room, looking around. Holy shit my brother and Kelly were in London. "This is an awesome apartment Bren." Kelly said looking around.

"Thanks." I said quietly still so weirded out my brother would fly 8 plus hours internationally just because I hadn't called him back.

"Dylan?" Brandon noticed Dylan standing there, "You're back."

Dylan's face contorted in a weird confused expression, I knew what from, like how did Brandon know he had been gone. "Yeah…" he dragged out confirming the confusion with his voice to match his face. "Yeah…I got back a few days ago, from Hawaii."

Brandon and Kelly swallowed hard and looked between us. "So you guys are ok?" Kelly asked hopeful.

I looked down not answering, Dylan and I were so far from okay, our relationship didn't even know what okay was. Dylan didn't speak either. Our expressions obvious that we were not okay.

Kelly sighed, "I was afraid of this." she spoke towards Brandon more than Dylan and I.

"I think maybe you guys should sit down for a second." Brandon said.

I looked at Dylan, his eyes showing just as much confusion as mine. I moved toward the couch and Dylan followed. He sat so close to me our legs touched. He took a second to grab my hand and by reflex I pulled away. I looked up at Brandon and Kelly. Their eyes raising to meet mine, eyebrows raised, concerned. Seeing what I had just done. Maybe it was my lack of huge diamond missing from my left hand too.

Brandon swallowed hard. Silence filled the apartment as we waited for them to speak. This had to have been pretty fucking important that Kelly and Brandon would fly to another country to talk to us. I was also very aware the issues Dylan and I were having right now had to do with a certain blonde in my apartment and even though I loved Kelly and she was my friend. Part of my heart was scared at what I was about to hear. Were Kelly and Dylan going to be a thing? Was he lying? Did Brandon come to make sure I wouldn't freak the fuck out? That all seemed unlikely with the words Dylan had said 5 minutes before but I was at a loss. Finally someone broke the silence and it wasn't who I expected to speak first.

"Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?" Dylan stood. He looked down at me, still confused from our talk then to the couple in front of us.

DPOV

I had had enough. I was thoroughly taken back. I had no idea what I had done to make Brenda practically kick me out of our apartment. I had no clue what I had done to make her throw her ring at me. I had no idea why my phone was broken, why Mark and Brenda were suddenly BFF's and why fucking Kelly and Brandon were standing in front of me thousands of miles from home. Plus I never sent Kelly a telegram. I would never send Kelly a telegram. Who the fuck sends telegrams?

"Please someone fill me in?" My hands came out…waiting.

Kelly cleared her throat, "Well…" she took a deep breath. "I guess we're here to explain a really really big misunderstanding. See…I called Brenda to ask about the two of you after getting a telegram." What the fuck…the telegram again, she knew about it too. I was still lost. What fucking telegram?

I looked at Brenda she rang her hands together and looked down, "Okay…Brenda? Kelly? What telegram?"

Brenda stood, angry, "The fucking telegram you sent Kelly wanting to meet her…on your stupid layover in Los Angeles." she yelled.

I stared at her, what the ever loving fuck? I looked at Brandon and Kelly who in turn looked at each other. Guilt evident on their faces. Anger rose in me too, this was too much. "I never sent a telegram Brenda. I have no clue what the three of you are talking about." I yelled back.

Kelly groaned and rubbed her face.

"There was no telegram. Okay? It was a mistake." Brandon said calmly. He stepped forward towards us. "Valerie sent the telegram to try to come between Kelly and myself. It wasn't meant for you to even know about it…her words. The telegram was fake, a friend from hers sent it from New York. She didn't like the fact Kelly and I were dating again and she wanted me to think Kelly was still in love with Dylan. Kelly got the telegram thinking it was real and called Brenda concerned. That's how Valerie's stupid game got all the way to the UK." Brandon exhaled, saying that whole thing in one breath.

I stood stunned, what an elaborate crazy plan just to get Brandon to not date Kelly. Then I looked at Brenda who slowly lowered down to the couch. Her face went into her hands. I thought she was crying and was about to comfort her until I heard her laughing. Like cracking up laughing. I smiled and started laughing too finding the humor behind the whole thing, plus her laughter was contagious. Now it all made perfect fucking sense, why Brenda was so mad at me, why she kept referring to this stupid telegram, she thought I was meeting Kelly behind her back and with the lack of communication from me, it must have been heartbreaking to think about going through this again. Brenda looked up covering her mouth as she looked at me. A sparkle in her eye now, relief. She rose quickly and rushed me. I caught her easily as her lips crashed to mine. Her kiss was hungry as I tried to keep up with her. She settled into my neck hugging me as I lifted her off the ground, squeezing her against me.

"Oh my god I'm sorry. I'm so sorry baby." now her laughs were tears, I don't think Brenda knew what emotion to have. I mean the whole thing was kind of funny, royally fucked up and beyond ridiculous. Valerie was bat shit crazy, more so then I had even thought.

"Hey…shh…baby it's ok, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry for not calling." I kissed her face, her forehead anywhere I could reach as I set her down. She kissed me again. Her hands came to my face as her tongue seeked out mine.

She smiled against my lips. Keeping her head on my chest as we turned towards Brandon and Kelly. When I finally looked at them. They were smirking and holding hands, "And what do we have here Bren? A Taylor/Walsh reunion? Bout fucking time." I said with a smile.

Kelly blushed and looked down before looking at me, "Yeah." She shrugged cutely, "Brandon and me are back together."

"Congratulations."

"So you guys aren't mad?" Kelly said still looking guilty.

I huffed, "Now why would we be mad, Valerie's little stunt only almost ruined my relationship with Bren?" My voice sarcastic. I didn't even know how to deal with Valerie.

Brandon smiled, "Did it really though?" he looked between us not believing that would have done us in. He didn't know that Brenda had practically called off our wedding.

Brenda shook her head the reality thick now that I wasn't trying to secretly hook up with Kelly, "Kelly…please tell me you bitch slapped Valerie for this mess? I mean yes it did a number on us but she was purposely trying to split the two of you up. That's insane right?" she looked at me for confirmation. My eyebrows shot up as I nodded.

"Ya think?" I confirmed.

Kelly laughed and shook her head, "I didn't even justify it. I didn't give the satisfaction of letting her know her crap had affected us like she wanted. Let's just say my presence in the Walsh house is enough to drive her to want to slap herself." Brandon shook her head. "Plus this guy wouldn't let me."

"Come on Brandon…look at what she did? Not only did she go to extravagant things to cause issues with you two, she practically unknowingly broke off my engagement. I mean you have to be pissed?"

"You broke off your engagement?" Brandon said shocked. "Because of a stupid telegram?" He was making fun of his sister. Brenda pursed her lips together and looked at me. My arm squeezed her against my side.

Kelly swatted him in the chest playfully, "You broke off our date because of a stupid telegram."

"Well…you know." Brandon was embarrassed.

"We're twins." Both Brandon and Brenda said with a shrug at the same time. Kelly and I laughed at them. You can spilt up the twins for a few years in different countries but you can't take the twins out of them apparently.

"I can't believe you guys came all this way to straighten this out. How long can you stay?" Brenda asked hopeful.

Kelly and Brandon smiled, "Spring break…no classes for a week. We thought we'd see the sights a little." Brandon said with a smirk. "Reconnect."

The squeal that came out of Brenda was something I had only heard from teen girls in malls, when Luke Perry came out on stage. She bum rushed them, throwing her arms around their necks and hugging them. "This is great." she said excitedly. Brenda moved to the side, she kept her arm around Kelly as all three of them looked at me. "Come on." she urged me with her head to come in for a group hug.

"Bren." come on seriously?

"Dylan." there was the look, the do what I say look, it was a sexy pout thing she had down to a T. My head flopped down defeated as I shuffled begrudgingly towards them. Placing my arm around Brandon and Brenda as all four of us came in for a hug.

"Brenda and Dylan…Brandon and Kelly…all back together again. This my friends is an epic saga." Brenda said as we pulled out. Brenda and Kelly embraced on their own and jumped up and down like school girls and Brandon shook his head with a smirk. He was happy, he looked 30 times happier than when I saw him at Christmas. If we were girls…I think Brandon and I would have done our own fan girl jump. Everything seemed right in the world.

We got Kelly and Brandon set up in the guest room. Before all this drama with Erica we had finally decorated it. Making it a guest room and not a storage room. The loft was still the loft but this way when people came to visit they'd have a private actual bedroom. I hadn't stayed in it these last couple days because truthfully it was next to our bedroom and the pull to be with Brenda was too strong. It was something Brenda and I discussed when Angie was staying with us but hadn't gotten around to it. It seemed to come in handy now with our surprise guests and I was happy we had finished putting it together. We hung out and caught up for the most part. Brandon and Kelly explained how they found out about the telegram and how Brandon actually spied on Kelly at the airport. I was semi weirded out she actually came to meet the fake telegram Dylan but I didn't say anything. The simple fact Kelly had called Brenda had confirmed she was weirded out by it not intrigued, which was a relief. Kelly and Brandon were touchy feely and pretty great tougher. I was happy that it didn't even make me feel even a little weird to see it. It seemed right the four of us together hanging out. They also told us about the ring, how Kelly bought it back on Christmas eve, even I had to admit how romantic that was. I had silently wondered if eventually Kelly would once again be wearing it on her finger and not around her neck. I had yet to properly make up with my girl. But you better believe I had planned on it. Throughly and all night long. We had to entertain our guests first. Booooo. Brenda and Kelly made us a nice dinner and as we sat down I remembered something.

"What happened to our phone Bren?" I asked interested. I lifted my fork after swirling the spaghetti around it and brought it to my mouth. I might have moaned a little, I hadn't had a home cooked meal in weeks. I looked at Brenda she was bright red, embarrassment written across her face.

"Um." she swallowed her wine down forcibly. All sets of eyes on her. "I might have…um…threw it."

I set my fork down and clasped my hands together, "You threw it where exactly."

"Uh…at the mirror by the front door." She looked down. My eyes went quickly to the front door, which I could see from my seat at the dining room table. There was no mirror. I looked back at her with a smirk, she met my eyes. "It broke." she finished, "The mirror and the phone."

I chuckled, "Why?" I was almost afraid to ask but her goofy embarrassed face made me want to know.

She smiled, "When I got off the phone with Kelly, hearing about the telegram I chucked the phone at it. And if you were more observant you would have noticed, I chucked our picture from Paris too. I was pissed the fuck off." she said smile gone now as she looked at me. Sadness in her eyes. My head tilted sideways realizing just what I had put her through in not calling her to check in and her thinking I was meeting Kelly. I got up and kneeled beside her dining chair not caring we had a audience. My hand went to her cheek, gathering in her hair by her ear. My hand held her precious head.

"I would never do anything to ruin this Brenda. I love you and I'm sorry I gave you a reason to doubt me. I hope you know even if I was to meet Kelly at an airport in LA, it wouldn't be like that. It would include your brother at least. What we did to you both." I looked at Brandon as well, "was a long time ago and it was a mistake. This right here is how it should be." I referred to the 4 of us. "Please know, you're everything to me." My eyes burned into hers. I wasn't even a little embarrassed I confessed my heart in front of both Brandon and Kelly. I needed her to know that this wasn't senior year. I knew that the decisions I made all those years ago would affect us always and I would reassure her anytime she needed it.

Brenda nodded quickly and leaned in for a kiss. I hugged her tightly and whispered I love you again. She said it back quietly. As I held her close to me, I reached into my pocket and took out her discarded ring. Without speaking I took her hand and set it where it belonged…back on her finger. She smiled and kissed me. I spoke quietly against her mouth, "This is where it belongs, don't you dare take it off again." my voice strong yet quietly playful.

She kissed me slowly, her tongue gently massaging mine. "Never." she whispered and that made me smile. After an inappropriate amount of time our attention went to Brandon and Kelly who were smiling and watching in awe.

"Thank you guys. For coming out here and for explaining this." I said heartfelt. I'm sure Brenda and I would have made up. The telegram came out before they had even got there, but without the explanation Brenda might have not believed me, or maybe she would have but there would have been that worry in her heart of losing me to this situation again. I owed them a lot of gratitude.

"It was Kelly who insisted. I just wanted to come along for the ride." Brandon said understanding.

Kelly shyly shrugged, "I owed it to Brenda to straighten this out properly." she spoke truthfully.

"Well…thank you Kel." I added.

"You're so welcome, seeing the two of you make up was worth the trip." she smiled. I took my seat again and raised my soda, Kelly, Brandon and Brenda joined me with their wine.

"To friendship." I uttered.

"To family." Brenda added.

"To friendship and family." Brandon and Kelly joined in as we clinked out glasses together.

I'm pretty sure the love and sexual energy in our apartment was evident to everyone. As we settled on the couch watching a movie and just hanging out. I had to be alone with Brenda. It had been weeks since we were together and I had spent the last two nights without her. After saying goodnight to our guests we retreated to our bedroom. I watched as Brenda got ready for bed. She had a happy smirk the whole time. I assumed anticipating the making up we both knew was coming. As Brenda laid besides me I pulled her into me. Our foreheads touching.

"I'm really sorry for the things I said to you. About Mark and being disrespectful."

She nodded, worry in her eyes, "I get it, I thought the worst about you and Kel. And I know you might not believe this but Mark was a good friend to me. I was so mad at you that I probably would have slept with him, to get back at you…he stopped it." she admitted. I pulled back, ugh what the hell happened now?

"You mean…you were close?" I asked afraid of the answer.

"Not close…but I kissed him…well maybe threw myself at him was a better description." I sighed loudly as I moved to my back. I closed my eyes and my hand found my hair frustrated.

"I've never felt jealousy like I do when it comes to the two of you. I hate that you even had the opportunity to connect with someone else."

Brenda's hand came to my chest, she propped herself on her elbow and looked at me. Her loving intense stare brought my eyes to hers. "How do you think I felt, seeing you with my friend, hearing about you getting married. I think at the time I moved here, I embraced the connection with Mark because it wasn't you. Finally I felt like I could move on and not live with the heartbreak our break up did to me. I loved him but not like I love you. I loved him for being the best distraction I could have asked for." I looked at the ceiling again, her hand came to my face turning it to look at her, "It was a distraction…because if I allowed myself to miss you, to love you like I do now, I wouldn't survive Dylan. I'm sorry I kissed him. It felt right at the time but so wrong too. Lust can't replace the feelings I have for you."

I turned to face her, "I want to spend my life with you, I don't want to be worried about this play. I need you to promise me you are ready for this."

Brenda smirked, "I've been ready for this for a long time. You have nothing to worry about, you are it for me." she said genuinely and I believed her. I moved quickly taking her lips to mine. The urgency in my kiss was forceful. She responded the same. As my tongue moved against hers roughly, I thought about how much better I was as a person when I was with her. Even those two weeks running around trying to find Erica, I was a shell of the man I am now. Drinking again and being the same asshole I caught myself being over the years on and off. I liked who I was with her. I moved over her, my lips not leaving hers even for a moment. My hand came to her breast as I squeezed it gently enticing a soft moan from my girl. My dick strained hard against her center and I grinded it against her trying to find friction. As I kissed her throughly, Brenda and I froze at the noise coming from next door. Our heads slowly moving to the shared wall. The sound of breathing and the bed squeaking was loud. Brenda looked at me and shut her eyes, disgusted.

"Gross." she whispered and I chucked. I reached over and switched the clock radio on. The gentle sound of music filled the room, silencing the love making from next door. I continued my assault on her, kissing her neck, undressing her, taking my mouth to her breast. My mouth trailed down her navel, enjoying her, familiarizing myself with her figure again. I wanted every part of her to know how much I missed it. As I sat up, tearing my shirt over my head and dragging down my sweatpants. I looked down at her glistening heat. Calling me, so I answered. My tongue gently met her core and she pushed into my face. I lapped at her, missing the way she felt, she tasted, her warmth. I watched her, her flushed face, her eyes shut tightly, her mouth falling gently open letting a breathy soft moan out. She was the most beautiful thing. Her hand came to my head as she played with my hair, moving her fingers through it and every once in a while grasping it roughly. It only urged me on, as my tongue sped up and I knew she was close. I pulled away from her. Before she could miss a beat and pulled her bottom towards me. My hardness slipped into her easily. I moved out slowly, only to push back in. My head falling back as I felt the pleasure of her tightness surround me. I wanted to claim her as mine but I wanted to make love to her more. I dropped my body flush to hers. Trying to keep my weight on my elbows. I pushed into her and back out slowly. Cherishing her, making love to her, kissing her face, her lips, her neck. The love in my heart at that moment consumed me. As I moved with her, my forehead rested against hers. Our breaths hot on our faces.

"I love you Bren. I missed you so much." I breathed.

"I missed you too." she breathed back. She moaned too loud for my comfort and I covered my lips with hers. She moaned again against them, quieter this time. Our sweaty foreheads sticking together as I kept the slow deep thrusts.

I kissed her, passion seeping throughout the room, I was so close, I could think of nothing to make my mind wander to help myself last longer. I kept the slow push into her. The ache from my groin hitting me with pleasure. I groaned loudly in her ear as I spilled into her, her walls squeezed around me, milking my every drive. She moaned coming undone with me, her center meeting mine as I pushed into her deeply one last time. I froze as she did too, riding out the electric rush our orgasm had bestowed upon us. She shook softly against me. The most charged 30 seconds of my life. The warmth flow of her release evident as I lay inside her. I carefully rested more weight on her not being able to hold myself up any longer. Deep breaths filled the quiet room as soft melodies played out of our clock radio.

We opened our eyes looking deeply into each others souls. I kissed her softly. No words were needed as we came down from our high. As I softened inside her, I stared at her.

"You _are_ my soul mate Bren…no one else. I was meant for you and you were meant for me, I love you more than anything, I will always love you, you are mine." I whispered, remembering she knew about that stupid past life crap, I at one time grasped at and even with the slow love making, I claimed her with my words.

She smiled warmly needing to hear it. She closed her eyes happy. I stayed connected to her for a few more minutes before pulling out of her. I settled on my side and pulled her against me. I closed my eyes finding peace. The radio still on surrounding us with romantic soft tunes. For once in the past two weeks, I felt complete, my soul heavy and full. The last thing I remember before sleep consumed me, were the gentle warm kisses against my chest and the faint whisper, "I'm yours always. Always have been." My souls contentment consumed me and my dreams came easy once again.

 _So Brandon and Kelly made it to London, just in time it seems. Hope you liked it. Next up the 2 royal couples enjoy the sights, the week and try to show Brandon and Kelly exactly why they love their life there. Hit review, for those that read my other stories, I'm working on them as well._


	43. Chapter 43

_Freaking finally an update! Thank you guys for being patient with me. I want to let you know this is VERY lyric heavy and took on a mind of its own. It's long so hopefully that helped the delay a little. I started this chapter MONTHS ago it feels like. I can't wait to hear what your thoughts are. Enjoy!_

 **Chapter 44**

 _I can't promise you_

 _That dark clouds_

 _Will never hover_

 _Over our lives Or that the future_

 _Will bring us many rainbows ._

 _I can't promise you that_

 _Tomorrow will be perfect_

 _Or that our lives will be easy._

 _I can promise you my everlasting_

 _Devotion, my loyalty, my respect,_

 _And my unconditional love for a lifetime ._

 _I can promise you that_

 _I'll always be here for you,_

 _To listen and to hold your hand,_

 _And I'll do my best to make you happy,_

 _And make you feel loved._

 _I can promise you that_

 _I can see you through a crisis_

 _And pray with you,_

 _Dream with you,_

 _Build with you,_

 _And always cheer you on_

 _And encourage you._

 _I can promise you that_

 _I'll willingly be your protector,_

 _Your advisor, your counselor,_

 _Your friend, your family,_

 _Your everything._

 _I promise you_

I continued writing in my notebook, I slept well after making up with Brenda but here it was 3 in the morning and I was wide awake. It took everything I had in my being to not wake her up in the middle of the night to have my way with her again. She looked so sexy and beautiful but also she looked so completely content. I came into the living room in hopes being away from her would allow me to let her sleep. I thought about Mark and Brenda and I thought about our fight. Hearing about Valerie and what she did, it was all a lot to take in. The truth was I wanted to trust Brenda, she was going to be my wife. We were engaged…but with the couple of occurrences she and Mark had had, it was difficult too. I also knew that stuff would get back to normal with us. We had been through a lot together. With time and patience it would be okay. I sighed looking at my 2 sentences I had written. My mind was blank. Whoever said love issues were the best muse for writing, must be crazy. I looked up hearing footsteps after a bedroom door quietly closed. I for one moment hoped it was Brenda, maybe she could be my happy muse with a good old fashion couch make out but then I saw Brandon shuffle out into the living room. His hand came through his hair and then his eyes landed on me.

He smirked, "Well I know what my excuse for being up at this hour is but what's yours?"

He sat beside me and I smirked at him, "Yeah…the time change is rough. You'll get used to it right when you're about to head home." I chuckled and Brandon joined. "Kelly is able to sleep?" I asked, usually it did take a couple days to get right.

"Yeah…she must adjust better than me to this type of thing. I've been staring at the ceiling for the last 30 minutes. Maybe because it's my first time traveling internationally." Brandon smiled, I still couldn't believe he was here. "What cha doing bro?" he added as his eyes glanced down to my journal.

"Eh I couldn't sleep so I thought I would write a little, usually it calms me, gets the shit out so I can sleep a little easier, it's not helping unfortunately."

"Well…I'm open for business if you need to air some stuff out." I sighed, Brandon had always been a good friend. I talked to him about a lot of things in the past. Not so much about Brenda though.

I shrugged now that silence filled the open living room, "Come on man…you're my best friend…heck you'll be my brother come next summer."

I smiled at him, "I'm happy here Bran…I'm liking London, which is surreal and besides this Valerie business things with Bren have been good."

"So…what's the problem?" Brandon's caring eyes kept mine.

I exhaled, bit the inside of my lip and paused, "When Bren first moved here…this stuff is between us right?"

He gave me a look that made me chuckle, of course it was. I continued, "Brenda wasn't sitting around having the year I was having put it that way. She has friends out here, guy friends…" My eyes met his.

His head slowly nodded. "Don't get me wrong…Brenda's friends are great. A few of them have been great to me, and we are starting to really have a friendship. There is this one though, Mark."

Brandon laughed a little, "Ah Mark."

"You know him?" my eyes widened.

"God no…I've heard of him. When Brenda first moved here, she told me she was seeing someone named Mark. I got the impression he helped her adjust here a little…" Brandon paused I knew what he was thinking.

"Adjust yes…helped her move on from me is more like it." I finished his thought.

Brandon leaned on his knees and clasped his hands, "Dylan…Brenda didn't move on obviously, you're together, you're getting married…bro my sister has never been over you."

I nodded slowly, "I know. It's just you know how stuff, old stuff about Kelly and Me." Brandon swallowed hard, he was bothered but I continued, "Comes up and throws you…Brenda…all of us really into the past and insecurities."

Brandon nodded, "Yeah…"

"That's how this douche Mark is and let me say…it's like when stuff comes up with them, I lose it."

"Well…Dylan, you and Kelly did a number on Brenda back in high school, college even she was a basket case…then the three of us…"

"I know." I interrupted, I didn't want to talk about when I competed with Brandon for Kelly. It was not a memory I was fond of and I was embarrassed about it to be honest.

"Do you trust Brenda?" Brandon came out and asked.

"Of course..I..I think I do…but you don't know this guy Bran. It's like he has this thing with her, this connection and I can't stand it. When I was in Hawaii these past couple weeks, I know I wasn't the most open loving boyfriend, then this business with the telegram. What does Bren do…she turns to him." I moved my fingers through my hair and sighed, "Bran…living out here with your sister, it's amazing, there is no gang getting into our business, there is no past with Kelly…it's just us, in our own little world. Now even this world feels weird. Instead of Kelly, it's Mark. Why is it always something? I've never been in love with anyone like I love Bren. Not Kelly…not even Toni…not anyone. I was a mess when I came here, one week with Brenda…all my troubles disappeared. It's like she is my missing piece. I can't let this guy come between us. I just can't. I'm a selfish ass, I left and didn't even check in with her for two whole weeks, who does that?" I looked at my friend. I knew Brandon had issues with his relationship with Kelly when it came to me. Kelly and I no matter how much time had past, had those ghosts come up. I knew he would understand.

"Look Dylan…I can't speak for Brenda but I do know a little something about this. When I first got together with Kelly, you were a huge pain in my ass." I chucked and nodded. "There is always that small place, in here." Brandon pointed at his chest, "That knows she loved you at one time and I hate it." I swallowed hard, "I decided when Kel and I were going to give this another chance, after finding out about that telegram, that I couldn't be in this if I wasn't going to let it go. I care about her, I love her. I'm not going to let the past get in the way of my future with her. She is too important to me. I know Kelly loves me just like Brenda loves you. Whatever she had with Mark, doesn't hold a candle to what you have with her. I think that if you really want this to work out with Bren, you're going to have to be supportive and loving, and maybe think twice before disappearing again. After all you guys have been through, this is your time. You and Bren, here in London, don't let this guy from her past ruin your future. Remember, it's not about him, its about you and her." He repeated. Brandon yawned loudly, "Oh man…I'm sorry."

"Why don't you try to get some sleep." Brandon grasped my shoulder and nodded. He rose from the couch and looked down at me, "You good?"

I smiled a tight smile at him, "Yeah…thanks bro." I watched Brandon head back into the bedroom.

I took a deep breath and reached for my journal again. "You and me." I breathed out, my pen hit the paper and I didn't stop until I looked over the poem I had just wrote and smiled.

I made my way back into my bedroom. I looked down at Brenda, her eyes closed peacefully. Her chest rising and falling slowly. I leaned over and kissed her lips gently. I didn't mean to wake her but her eyes opened slowly and she gazed up at me.

"Hey." she whispered sleepily. "What are you doing up?" she rubbed her right eye slowly.

"Writing." I tossed the journal on the bed beside her.

She stretched and sat up a little, leaning back against her pillow. "Anything I can read?" she looked at me and I only saw love. Brenda loved me, I knew this. I was stupid to think she didn't.

"Sure." I moved next to her, so I was sitting beside her now. I picked up the journal and brought it to her lap as I wrapped my arm around her. Cuddling her against my chest. She reached for the journal and opened it, she began to read out loud.

 _I've got a young heart_

 _And it's wild and free_

 _I don't know where it starts_

 _But it ends with you and me_

 _It's a hard road_

 _As far as I can see_

 _I don't_ _know where I'm going_

 _But I'll get back to you and me_

 _'Cause we're two kids_

 _Trying to start a fight_

 _No matter where we go_

 _Yeah, we'll be alright_

 _All I'm asking for_

 _A bit of patience, please_

 _'Cause I know what's to come_

 _And it's coming for you and me_

 _Time's never been on our side_

 _So would you wait for me?_

 _I lead a selfish life_

 _'Cause that's what I need_

 _What do I have to do_

 _To make you believe?_

 _It's all for you and me_

 _From a distance_

 _I can hear you cry_

 _Well don't you worry darlin'_

 _Don't lose sleep tonight_

 _I can promise it_

 _I can guarantee_

 _At the end of the road_

 _I see you with me_

 _Time's never been on our side_

 _So would you wait for me?_

 _I lead a selfish life_

 _'Cause that's what I need_

 _What do I have to do_

 _To make you believe?_

 _It's all for you and me_

 _When I look down the line_

 _At the man I wanna be_

 _I've always known from the start_

 _That it ends with you and me_

Brenda breathed out. She looked over at me with tears in her eyes. "Dylan." she whispered, "It's beautiful."

I turned slightly in bed so I was closer to her, "We've been through so much together. You've dealt with me at my low points and my high points. You've made me a better person. I'm sorry I didn't call you when I was away."

"Dylan…we already talked about this."

"I know…but I was sitting out there thinking about you and Mark." Brenda looked down. My fingers went to her chin, I raised it so she was looking at me, "I don't care about him Bren. He doesn't love you like I do, and you don't love him like you love me either. I know I put you through hell. I know he's a good friend to you but I will not let my insecurity ruin what we have together. Not now…not ever." I took her hand and looked at my ring on her finger. She spread her hand and looked at it too. "I know we have a long road ahead of us. We're young and there are going be times when I screw up, and you will too but…" I exhaled, "The bottom line is it's about you and me. Our love and fighting through all of life's hurdles. Marriage is going to be hard work, but we'll get through it together."

Brenda smiled and closed her eyes. I leaned in and kissed her eyelid softly. I moved to her temple, her cheek, her jaw and then I stopped at her lips, "I love you." I whispered against them.

"I love you." she breathed out. Her hot breath in my mouth. I closed my lips around hers in a slow kiss. We both lowered ourselves and I pulled Brenda so her head was laying on my chest. "We're going to be alright Bren."

"Yeah…we are." she exhaled against my chest. Her lips kissing it softly. I closed my eyes and thought about my life ahead, with Brenda as my wife.

"Just you and me." I whispered against her head.

"You and me." she whispered back.

I woke up late the following day, Brenda was already out of bed. I groggily made my way into the kitchen. Kelly and Brenda were making breakfast as Brandon sipped coffee from the counter stool.

"Morning sleepy head." Brenda smiled, Brandon and Kelly looked towards me.

I grunted, tired, I hadn't gotten much sleep last night until after Brenda read my poem. "Morning."

Brenda was already pouring me coffee so I sat beside Brandon at the counter. She smiled a sweet smile at me and set it down in front of me. I took it to my lips and instantly felt a little better. "How did ya sleep?" I looked at Kelly, then Brandon.

Kelly laughed, "Like the dead, but I have no idea what time or day it is." I chuckled remembering how hard it is to get used to the time difference.

"You'll get used to it Kel." Brenda said nicely.

"When you leave." I added.

Brandon laughed taking a sip of coffee, my joke was funny the second time too.

Kelly grabbed a plate of eggs and a pitcher of orange juice. I watched Brenda grab pancakes, bacon and sausage. She walked by me and stopped in front of my face. Brandon got up at that point and followed Kelly to the dining table, Brenda leaned in and kissed me softly. Her hands full of plates. I smiled at her, she sure knew how to get me into a good mood in the morning. I watched her for a moment and then followed to join the others. As soon as I sat down, our new phone rang. We had thankfully went out and bought one after dinner the night before.

"I'll get it." Brenda said out loud already moving towards it. I watched her.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mark." She turned away from us and my eyes found Brandon's. He lifted his eyebrows playfully. He didn't have to speak, _be supportive_. I heard his voice without words.

"Who's Mark?" Kelly asked spooning some eggs onto Brandon's plate.

I cleared my throat and grabbed a sausage link. I stuck it in my mouth so I wouldn't say anything.

"One of Bren's friends." Brandon said to her for me.

"Shut up!" All three of us turned our attention to her, "Oh my god…one of Dylan's?" Huh? "Ok bye." she hung up quickly and ran over to the radio. She played with the tuner for a moment and Angie's voice came through the apartment, she turned towards me and smiled a wide smile.

I froze, "Is that?" I stood slowly, listening.

 _I_ _'_ _m inside out shot through the center_

 _Feel this scar of where you entered_

 _Took my life and turned it upside down_

 _I_ _'_ _m burned to ashes split down the middle_

 _If anyone asks it hurt just a little_

 _I died inside the day I let you go_

"It's your song." Brenda jumped excitedly and ran into my arms. She kissed me hard and I couldn't help but laugh. I lifted her off the ground, holding her tightly against me. "I'm so proud of you." she whispered against my open mouth. I set her down on her feet and went in for a hug. After a moment my eyes opened and I noticed Kelly and Brandon staring at us. I pulled away from her, but kept her close to me.

"That's Angie…she is a friend of Dylan and I, she went to RADA with me." Brenda said happily.

Kelly nodded, "She's really good. Um…your song?" Kelly looked at me.

I took a deep breath, "It's not a big deal." I said a little embarrassed. It was Angie on the radio not me, even though it felt damn good to hear our song.

Brenda gently smacked my stomach, "Dylan co-wrote this song. Angie has been putting some of Dylan's poetry to music. Half of her album has Dylan's co-write on it."

"Way to go man…that's awesome. When I saw you last night trying to write you said you were fooling around. I didn't know you were doing something with it." Brandon moved around the dining table and shook my hand.

"Dylan…that's so amazing. Congratulations." Kelly said nicely.

"Oh come on guys, it's exciting for Angie. I mean…she's on the freaking radio." Just then our phone rang again. This time I went to get it, thinking it was probably Mark again.

"Hello?"

"Dylan! Oh my god did you hear?" Angie said excited.

I laughed, "I heard Angie, congratulations."

"Tyler and I got back from Texas a couple days, can you believe it?" Angie was intoxicatingly excited.

Dylan smiled, "I know…it's unbelievable, I'm so proud of you…it's finally happening for you."

"Well…it's kind of happening for both of us."

My eyebrows pinched together confused, "What do you mean?"

"Publishing Dylan…they want to offer you a publishing deal. Well co-publishing anyway. You give up 50% of your shares to the publisher, you will own 100% of your songwriters share, 75% of your royalties. Dylan…it's a great deal."

I stood speechless, "Um…what do I have to do?" contracts scared me.

"Write…that's all…and get paid. If a singer likes your song, and if they record it. You will get a royalty check. It's that simple. Doesn't that sound awesome! You'll get paid for the work you already do Dylan. It's including the songs on my album, they want to give you the royalty check for it already, and a flat advance on 12 more songs. Dylan…they're going to give you over $50,000." Angie shrieked!

"Oh man…I don't know what to say, 12 songs?." I really didn't. Me…a working writer? Me? 12 songs…contracted? Ugh that was scary but honestly if I didn't deliver, it's not like I didn't have the money to give back.

"Say you'll meet Marshall Grant tomorrow with me at 1 o'clock…say you'll partner with me? Say yes Dylan!"

I laughed, "Ok…I'll meet with him. No harm in hearing the deal out." Angie shrieked again.

"Yes! Ok…1 o'clock…Kolbalt Music Group, you got a pen?"

I reached inside our desk drawer and grabbed a pen and paper, "Yeah…go ahead."

"1 Cousin Ln, London EC4R 3TE. I'll meet you out front at 12:45?"

"Sounds good Ang." I wrote down the address.

"I'm so excited! See you tomorrow."

"Bye Angie." the phone clicked and I turned towards 3 pairs of curious eyes.

"What was that about?" Brenda asked interested.

"Well…that was Angie…she said that Koblat Music Group wants to offer me a publishing deal. Payment for the songs already written on Angie's album and 12 more songs."

Brenda's eyes grew wide, she smiled widely, "Are you kidding me? Oh my god Dylan." she ran to me, jumping in my arms again. I squeezed her tightly. "I'm so proud of you. Dylan…this is huge." she whispered.

"Way to go man." Brandon smiled and moved in quickly. As Brenda and I separated, Brandon hugged me tightly. He patted me on the back a couple times and pulled away with a proud smile on his face. I was shocked.

"Dylan…that is great. You have always been so talented in your writing." Kelly chimed in. She moved swiftly and hugged me too. Kelly did know first hand, I had started writing when we were dating.

"This is amazing…we have to celebrate." Brenda leaned up and kissed my cheek. Hmmm…look at that…guess I now had a job. Woah. Now that was surreal.

BPOV

Hearing about the publishing deal was incredible. I mean, Dylan was working. He had purpose. I mean he always had purpose to me but I feel like this was a great thing for him. He was finding his footing here, maybe even a career. Publishing was perfect for Dylan. He wouldn't be in the spotlight. It would be totally behind the scenes which I know he would appreciate. Having my brother and Kelly here is pretty amazing. I never thought in a million years he would ever make the trip out here. Now as far as Valerie goes, I knew I had to deal with her. At least talk to her, scold her? I'm not sure but after finding out that it was all bullshit I cant explain the relief that came over me. The two weeks Dylan was MIA didn't mean anything anymore because the thought of losing Dylan to Kelly again, paralyzed me and thats not something I ever want to feel again. It was awful.

After taking Kelly and Brandon through the London sights, we decided to head to the pub to celebrate. I stood next to Kelly in my bathroom as we both fiddled with our hair. She had cut her hair short, when I was living here but it had grown out from the pictures I noticed. Now it sat below her ears to her neck. She looked grown up but still pretty. She pulled off the hair nicely better than I had. Mine was finally growing out from my lame brain idea to chop it all off before coming to London.

"Your hair is growing out, it looks cute. It suits you." I was honest.

"Ya think?" she looked at herself in the mirror, "I miss my long hair but it's finally growing. It's a hell of a lot easier though, who knows I may chop it again. I meant to tell you…yours is so long already, it looks amazing."

"Finally." I commented as I ran my fingers through it. I watched her pick up one of my lipsticks, reading the color off the bottom and taking the cap off. "Oh yeah that color would look great on you." I nodded towards it for her to go ahead.

She smiled and applied the warm brown nude color to her lips. "Told ya." I confirmed after seeing it on her.

"This is nice." she commented setting down the lipstick and looking back at me through the mirror, "Like old times." she finished.

I smiled back, "Yes…I still cant believe you're here." I giggled. "I guess Valerie isn't all bad, I mean her craziness brought you guys out here to FINALLY visit me." I joked.

"Bite your tongue. She is all bad." Kelly rolled her eyes.

I changed the subject, "So…you and Brandon? The ring…I mean…God Kel its honestly one of the most romantic things I have ever heard." I smiled. I loved that story.

Kelly smiled shyly, "I'm just glad Brandon and I are stronger than Valerie. I mean…she'll do anything to ruin my life, I mean what if Brandon would have believed her…what if I would have lost him?"

"Kel." I stopped her.

"No Bren…I mean…look what she did. Aren't you even a little mad?"

I swallowed hard and shrugged, "I guess I am…" I exhaled, "I guess I'm just so relieved it wasn't true."

Kelly looked down understanding, "But you guys are engaged, I'm sure it would have been fine." she said reassuring.

I looked at her and smirked, "Right…so that's why you and Brandon hopped a plane to another country to make sure."

"You guys seem good though…at least after the truth came out."

I turned towards Kelly, she did the same towards me, "We are…it's just taking some getting used to. We went out a long time ago, a lot has happened in the past few years. Things come up." I looked down and picked up my perfume.

I felt Kelly's eyes on me as I sprayed some on my wrist. "So…who's this Mark guy?"

My eyes met hers taken back, "Oh come on Brenda. I know Dylan. It was pretty obvious he's jealous. In another life…I had seen that side before." She looked down feeling bad bringing it up but I knew she had. I had been witness to Dylan punching John Sears and pushing him in the pool, it did indeed feel like another life ago.

I took a deep breath and looked towards the bedroom door, looking back at Kelly she stood waiting, "I dated Mark for a year and half…off and on. He didn't treat me all that well then but he came back into my life and things changed. Dylan isn't all that fond of him but I don't blame him, I've made a few mistakes, getting caught up in the past." I breathed out, "He's been a good friend to me. I had to learn to lose Dylan a few times. Mark helped me do that. Even though I love Dylan, there is a part of my heart that thanks Mark. I don't like hurting Dylan but I enjoy Marks company too sometimes."

Kelly looked down with a smirk, she rested her hand on her shoulder. "Dylan is no boyscott Bren…I think its nice you had a life out here before he came back. Dylan will have to support your friendship if he wants to be in your life."

"Come on ladies…are you guys done yet?" Brandon appeared in my doorway and smiled. I cleared my throat happy for the interruption. I didn't want to think about Mark anymore.

Kelly, Brandon, Dylan and myself walked to the pub nearby. We found a table near the front and made ourselves comfortable.

Kelly looked around, "This place is great." Brandon wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. I smiled, I hadn't seen them together together and they were so sweet.

"Yeah…we come here a lot." Dylan added wrapping his arm around me as well.

We ordered drinks, I a cocktail, Dylan a club soda, Kelly a white wine and Brandon a beer and people watched.

"Anyway you will dance with me?" Kelly smiled leaning into my brother. Dylan and I chuckled.

"God no woman…times change but not that much." Brandon being Brandon answered.

Kelly looked at us with a smile and a shrug, "It was worth a shot."

I winked at Kelly, "Get him drunk. It works."

Brandon laughed and nodded. He raised his eyebrows at her. "Well in that case." Kelly waved to the waiter and ordered shots. They were on vacation after all.

"Oh bloody hell Eric…we go on holiday and Brenda and Dylan find new friends."

"Laura!" I got up and hugged her tightly. "When did you guys get back?" I hugged Eric too. Dylan stood up and hugged Laura and shook Eric's hand.

"This morning. Jesus this town is a mess…we had perfect weather while on holiday." Laura smiled looking down at Brandon then Kelly. "Hello." she said sweetly.

"Laura…Eric…this is my brother…Brandon." I knew they would get a kick out of it since they knew I had a twin in the states. Brandon stood.

"The infamous Laura? It's so great to finally put a face with the name. I have heard so much about you."

Laura smiled brightly, she was so pretty, "Well…that's worrisome." she joked, "I'm sure it's only half true." Brandon laughed. "This is my boyfriend…Eric." Brandon moved his hand out and met Eric in a firm friendly handshake. He turned, "This is my girlfriend Kelly." Kelly raised to her feet and shook both their hands.

"Kelly?" Laura eyes got wide for a moment, she chuckled, "So…the Brit best friend meets the American Best friend." My thought exactly at that moment.

Kelly laughs, "Nice to meet you."

"Same." Laura says nicely. "I've heard so much about both of you. So surreal to finally meet."

"Now maybe _you_ shouldn't believe everything you hear." Kelly smiled, her head tilted back and forth, "It's probably more than half true."

Laura laughed out loud and looked at me, she knew damn well who Kelly was but she was way too nice and polite to let it show. Plus she knew Kelly and I had always tried to work out our differences. "Bren here always talks about her friends back home with pride. She is good people." Laura relaxed into Eric's embrace as he held her.

"That she is." Dylan smiled. it was weird for some of our London group to meet our Beverly Hills one. I think he felt it too.

"Pull up a couple chairs, you guys want to join us?" Brandon offered as he took his seat.

Laura looked at Eric and shrugged, "Tyler and Ang are meeting us…I wasn't sure you guys were coming. It's pretty cool that Angie's manager is coming out to see Mark." Laura and Eric grabbed a couple empty chairs and pulled them into the table. "We promised Ang we'd come out and show some support."

I looked at Laura taken back, "Mark's playing?" Dylan took a long sip of his club soda, visibly bothered from my peripheral. I noticed Brandon look to him too. I ignored it. "I just spoke with him today when he called to tell me about Angie being on the radio…he didn't mention anything." That's weird…did he not want to invite me?

"Yeah…he is playing alone…with the house band. Angie thinks he has a good shot with her. Also publishing…I hear congratulations are in order by the way." Laura looked at Dylan with a smile. Eric reached out and patted Dylan on the back.

Dylan looked down shyly, "Thanks."

"Well thats why we came…we wanted to show Kelly and Brandon some fun and to celebrate a little after getting the call from Angie." I explained. Laura and Eric smiled genuinely at Dylan. It seemed everyone was so happy hearing about his potential deal.

Angie and Tyler had made their way over now too. Adding more chairs to the table. I introduced them to Kelly and Brandon. Everyone was getting along and friendly. I was glad because I was a little nervous Brandon and Kelly may feel left out. Eric was actually getting along well with Brandon, talking about life at CU and Laura and Kelly were enjoying a conversation about clothes. Angie kept looking at me with a funny smile, I knew what she was thinking in her mind. _So this is the Kelly Dylan fell for_. "You're prettier." she whispered in my ear but Angie being a polite southern belle, didn't show Kelly that side.

Mark made his way over to the table. He stared at me shock on his face I was there. Then he went and introduced himself to my brother and Kelly. Brandon kept making eyes with me and Dylan. I wondered how much he knew and when Dylan had talked to him. It being pretty obvious he had indeed talked to him.

"Well…thanks for the invite Mark." I said sarcastic, I couldn't help but be a little hurt by it.

Mark smiled and shrugged as he stood before our now full table. "Nothing personal…just with Dylan back…I figured you guys were busy." He looked at me intensely, "I didn't want you to think you had to come."

I looked at Dylan who was watching our exchange, along with everyone else at the table. "We would have wanted to come Mark, it's a big deal for you. Right Dylan?" I looked to him for some back up.

Dylan hesitated for a second too long, "Right." he smiled an uncomfortable smile and sipped his drink. I stared at him, supporting my friendship my ass.

"Well…I better get back. Nice to meet you guys. Enjoy the show." Mark walked away without even a glance.

"Mark…wait up." I went to get up and I felt Dylan's hand on my leg. He looked at me. "I'll just be a second." I reassured him and like that I got up ignoring the looks of the table.

I caught up with Mark easily, "What was that about?"

"What do you mean?" he asked playing dumb.

"Why didn't you tell me about tonight? I would have wanted to be here." I said honestly.

"Maybe I didn't want you here." he said harshly.

My eyes widened a little with his honesty. "Oh." was all I could come up with.

He exhaled loudly, "Look Bren…I'm happy you and Dylan worked it out. Obviously by the uninteresting looking blonde seated next to your brother…Dylan and Kelly were not indeed fucking?"

I flinched and shook my head, "No." I exhaled.

"Figures." he said almost disappointed. I looked down sadly wondering what had happened in Mark's mind the past 2 days and why he wouldn't want us here? He never cared before? He watched me as my eyes met his again. He looked towards the table, it made me do the same. Kelly was watching us, Brandon and Dylan were talking, the rest of the group seemed to be in their own conversations. "Bren…it's not that I don't want you here like that. I've been just writing these past couple days and I didn't think you…or Dylan would want to hear my songs. This is important to me and I want to show Carol my range…but they might be hard for both of you to hear."

"I understand." great, I nodded. I took a deep breath, "Good luck." I said nicely.

He stared at me, his eyes sad. After a few beats he nodded and mumbled a thanks. I watched him head back stage and when he was out of sight I turned towards the table. This time Dylan was watching me. Our eyes met, I gave him a half smile as I walked back.

"Everything ok?" he asked as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I sat down.

I looked at him, I leaned in and kissed his lips softly, "Yes…I'm sorry about that." I spoke quietly, "I just asked him why he didn't invite us." I said honestly.

"And?" Dylan didn't look amused.

I looked at him and exhaled, "Apparently…he didn't think we'd enjoy his set."

Dylan groaned and shook his head. He smirked, "Well…at least he's honest…gotta give him that." He rolled his eyes and I took the moment to order shots and another whiskey. This was going to be interesting, and in front of Kelly and my brother to boot. YAAAY…NOT!

We turned our attention to the stage as Mark came out. I took in his appearance for the first time. He was wearing jeans, they hung low on his hips and a fitted black t-shirt. His hair was high in wild spikes that looked good on him. He wore black boots and a wallet chain, which was normal. He looked good to be honest and it made me wonder what style or look he was trying to go for with Carol, Angie's manager. He had an electric guitar strapped to his body that hung on his back and he came out with a sexy smirk and grabbed the microphone.

"My name is Mark Maddox." he said low and throaty. The girls in front of the stage started screaming. I smiled he looked like a rock star, and sinfully sexy.

Kelly leaned into me, "Holy shit Bren…tell me that is not THE Mark?" she whispered.

I looked at her a guilty smile spread across my face, "That's him."

Her mouth dropped and she chucked, "Oh god." she looked to the ceiling and continued laughing, her eyes met mine, "Yum." she smiled.

My eyes shut tightly as I pretended to whimper, "I know Kel…Oh I know." I said and I took a deep breath.

Mark cleared his throat, "This next song…I wrote last year." The girls woo'd again, he chuckled at them. "What can I say…I had some fiery inspiration." he smiled again and swung the guitar to his front. He started the song, I recognized it right away and began to blush. I grabbed my drink and took a long sip. FUCK…this was the first song he ever wrote me, we had JUST started dating, not even my friends knew then, put it this way they knew we were after they heard it.

 _Lay where you're laying_

 _Don't make a sound_

 _I know they're watching_

 _Watching_

 _All the commotion_

 _The kiddie like play_

 _It has people talking_

 _Talking_

 _You_

 _Your sex is on fire_

FUCK, I thought...fuck fuck fuck. I heard Dylan sigh.

 _The dark of the alley_

 _The breaking of day_

 _Head while I'm driving_

 _I'm driving_

Dylan cleared his throat. FUCK

 _Soft lips are open_

 _Them knuckles are pale_

 _Feels like you're dying_

 _You're dying_

 _You_

 _Your sex is on fire_

 _Consumed_

 _With what's to transpire_

 _Hot as a fever_

 _Rattle of bones_

 _I could just taste it_

 _Taste it_

He grabbed the mic like he was making love to it. He was performing. The girls were going crazy and so was the rest of the audience. Our table sat silent.

 _But it's not forever_

 _But it's just tonight_

 _Oh we're still the greatest_

 _The greatest_

 _The greatest_

 _You_

 _Your sex is on fire_

 _You_

 _Your sex is on fire_

 _Consumed_

 _With what's to transpire_

 _And you_

 _Your sex is on fire_

 _Consumed_

 _With what's to transpire_

His arm came up finishing the song and his eyes met mine for the first time since the song started. I licked my lips and looked at Dylan, nervous. He stared at me, I think he was in shock.

"He sounds really good tonight." Angie broke the silence. I nodded quickly and took another sip. I felt Kelly's eyes on me, but I continued to look straight towards the stage.

"Thank you." Mark smiled wide, "This next one, I wrote recently. Let's say my fiery inspiration, is inspiring someone else."

Dylan breathed out a laugh, "Unbelievable." he shook his head.

Mark's electric guitar started the song as a solo. It rang out beautifully.

 _Coming out of my cage_

 _And I've been doing just fine_

 _Gotta gotta be down_

 _Because I want it all_

 _It started out with a kiss_

 _How did it end up like this_

 _It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss_

 _Now I'm falling asleep_

 _And she's calling a cab_

 _While he's having a smoke_

 _And she's taking a drag_

 _Now they're going to bed_

 _And my stomach is sick_

 _And it's all in my head_

 _But she's touching his chest_

 _Now, he takes off her dress_

 _Now, let me go_

 _I just can't look its killing me_

 _And taking control_

 _Jealousy, turning saints into the sea_

 _Swimming through sick lullabies_

 _Choking on your alibis_

 _But it's just the price I pay_

 _Destiny is calling me_

 _Open up my eager eyes_

 _Cause I'm Mr Brightside_

WOW…I hadn't seen him so rock…it suited him.

 _I'm coming out of my cage_

 _And I've been doing just fine_

 _Gotta gotta be down_

 _Because I want it all_

 _It started out with a kiss_

 _How did it end up like this_

 _It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss_

 _Now I'm falling asleep_

 _And she's calling a cab_

 _While he's having a smoke_

 _And she's taking a drag_

 _Now they're going to bed_

 _And my stomach is sick_

 _And it's all in my head_

 _But she's touching his chest_

 _Now, he takes off her dress_

 _Now, let_ _me go_

 _'Cause I just can't look its killing me_

 _And taking control_

 _Jealousy, turning saints into the sea_

 _Swimming through sick lullabies_

 _Choking on your alibi_

 _But it's just the price I pay_

 _Destiny is calling me_

 _Open up my eager eyes_

 _'Cause I'm Mr Brightside_

 _I never_

 _I never_

 _I never_

 _I never_

Our whole tabled clapped. Angie and Tyler hooting and hollering. I looked at Brandon, he was clapping too. He raised his eyebrows at me impressed. I looked at Kelly, she smiled, YUM she mouthed. _Slow your roll Kel…hell no_. I gave her a playful dirty look that made her giggle.

"Well…at least we know why he didn't want us to come." Dylan said in my ear. I heard him chuckle and I looked at him. Relieved he wasn't upset. I smiled at him. He leaned in and kissed me.

"Thank you guys…HAHA you're great." Mark said to the audience. He set his guitar on the holder that was on stage and walked over with his microphone to the piano. "We're changing genres up here a little. Another song I wrote recently." he started playing the piano. "I'm sure some of you can relate." When he started this was different then anything I had ever heard from Mark. He was singing but rapping. He sounded amazing. Then I listened closely to the lyrics.

 _I miss you when I can't sleep_

 _Or right after coffee_

 _Or right when I can't eat_

 _I miss you in my front seat_

 _Still got sand in my sweaters_

 _From nights we don't remember_

 _Do you miss me like I miss you?_

 _Fucked around and got attached to you_

 _Friends can break your heart too,_

 _And I'm always tired but never of you_

 _If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit_

 _I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit_

 _I_ _pick up the phone but then I never mind that shit_

 _I got these feelings but you never mind that shit_

 _Oh oh, keep it on the low_

 _You're still in love with me but your friends don't know_

 _If you wanted me you would just say so_

 _And if I were you, I would never let me go_

 _I don't mean no harm_

 _I just miss you on my arm_

 _Wedding bells were just alarms_

 _Caution tape around my heart_

 _You ever wonder what we could have been?_

 _You said you wouldn't and you fucking did_

 _Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix_

 _Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed_

 _Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing_

 _Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance_

 _I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing_

 _But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings_

 _When love and trust are gone_

 _I guess this is moving on_

 _Everyone I do right does me wrong_

 _So every lonely night I sing this song_

 _I hate you, I love you_

 _I hate that I love you_

 _Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you_

 _I hate you, I love you_

 _I hate that I want you_

 _You want h_ _im, you need him_

 _And I'll never be him_

I looked down. Guilt flooded over me. This song was much more angry then I had heard him sing. I knew Mark…I knew his singing. It was amazing but knowing that this was about me and Dylan hurt my heart. I couldn't get upset. He had warned me, he hadn't wanted us to hear it. It didn't mean it still didn't effect me. I felt Dylan pull me closer to him and I cuddled into his embrace.

He continued to play the piano and began rapping again. I found myself leaning forward not believing my ears. I suddenly really truly realized why he didn't invite me and these were his true feelings.

 _And every single night_

 _I think of fucking someone else_

 _It doesn't make a difference and it doesn't fucking help_

 _It's like "Mark god damn, what the fuck?_

 _It's been a year already_

 _I could find somebody new_

 _but I'm just not ready_

 _Been the woman of my dreams since the day that you met me_

 _And there's a beautiful girl waiting for me at home_

 _But tell me why do I still feel alone?_

 _I guess the ones that you love and let close_

 _Are the same ones that will hurt you the most_

 _And yeah that's funny to me, yeah that's funny to me_

 _I thought you wanted to be, I thought you wanted to see_

 _What our kids would look like, is it you or is it me?_

 _And now that's gonna be a future that we never gonna see_

 _And yo, I hate to fucking say it but it's all because of you_

 _'Cos of everything you did and 'cos of everything you do_

 _Now you thinking you can call me like everything is cool_

 _But you're fucking someone else so why you fucking with me too?_

My fingers came to my mouth covering it. Tears filled my eyes. He was staring straight at me. His expression solum. He felt guilty but continued.

 _Then we break down and cry and say this is goodbye_

 _Said it a million times but we both know its a lie_

 _Its the circle of life, couldn't escape if you tried_

 _'Cos you live and you love and then you love and you die_

 _And I_ _…_

He began singing the I hate you I love you chorus again. A tear rolled down my face.

"That son of a bitch." I heard Dylan say. I didn't look at him and I got up quickly and ran to the bathroom. I didn't want to hear anymore. I leaned my hands on the sink in the empty bathroom. My eyes squeezed shut now allowing my tears to fall.

"Brenda…Bren…" I heard the girls call out before I looked up.

"Are you alright?" I heard Angie's accent as she touched my back rubbing it gently.

I stood up straight and nodded, looking who had made their way into the bathroom. Kelly, Laura, Angie stood next to each other. "I'm sorry Bren…I didn't know. I thought it was weird you didn't know about the show."

I stopped her, "I know…he warned me things might be hard to hear. Shit…it's really really hard to hear. When you guys were gone, we got so close. I thought finally we could be friends…I just feel so awful."

"Don't you dare allow yourself to feel guilty Brenda…after all he had put you through when you were together. I mean bloody hell…he was a complete prick to you." Laura spoke up.

"I know…I'm fine really I am." I shook my head and turned towards the mirror. I gently wiped the mascara runs I noticed. "Fuck…what am I going to say to Dylan. Why I ran in here?" I looked at Kelly. She was the only one that knew Dylan like I did.

"He'll be fine Bren…he looked more pissed off at Mark for hurting you. It's fine." she said reassuring. I nodded thankful.

We all walked out as Mark was playing a new song. I ushered the girls to go back to the guys. "Tell Dylan I'll be right there." I told Kelly, she nodded and went on her way. I hung back and leaned against the wall not ready to listen to the truth in Mark's songs in front of the group. Mark's eyes looked up from the piano and met mine. He gave me a one sided smile, apologetic and sincere. The piano sounded wonderful.

"I got one more song for you. Relationships are hard…and sometimes things don't end up the way you want. Sometimes you get angry…but then you realize, you aren't angry with them after all, you're more mad at yourself." He made eye contact with the rest of the audience and smiled, "I wrote this actually today. So you are the first I'm testing it out on. This song is dedicated to a special girl, a very good friend, she knows who she is. I'm sorry I hurt you." This time he was singing directly to me.

 _Somebody said you got a new friend_

 _Does_ _he love you better than I can?_

 _There's a big black sky over my town_

 _I know where you're at, I bet he's around_

 _And yeah, I know it's stupid_

 _But I just gotta see it for myself_

 _I'm in the corner, watching you kiss him_ _, oh oh oh_

 _I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh oh oh_

 _And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh_

 _I keep dancing on my own_

 _I'm just wanna dance all night_

His eyes intense and loving. I wiped my tears that had began to fall.

 _And I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line, yeah_

 _Stilettos and broken bottles_

 _I'm spinning arooooound in circles_

 _And I'm in the corner, watching you kiss him,_ _oh_

 _I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh_

 _And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh_

 _I keep dancing on my own_

 _And_ _oh_ _no_

He looked down playing the piano solo. This was truly a beautiful song. It may be my favorite that he has ever written. It was honest, raw and emotional. It made me cry…even if I hadn't known this song was about me, I would have felt the same. His eyes piercing mine.

 _So far away but still so near_

 _The lights come up, the music dies_

 _But you don't see me standing here_

 _I just came to say goodbye_

 _I'm in the corner, watching you kiss him_ _, oh_

 _And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh_

 _I keep dancing on my own_

 _And oh no_

 _Sit down in the corner, watching you kiss him,_ _oh no_

 _And I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh no_

 _And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh_

 _I keep dancing on my own_

 _So far away, but still so near_

 _The lights come up, the music dies_

 _But you don't see me standing_ _her_ _e._

WOW…his voice sounded amazing as he belted those last lines. He looked at me and quickly wiped a tear that I saw in an instant. The pub was on their feet. I clapped too. He smiled widely and looked out into the audience. He lifted his hands up, mouthing _thank you thank you_. He walked off the stage and out the back door. I made my way back to the table. I looked at Dylan, his eyes sad but worried. I smiled a sad smile at him. He tilted his head, motioning to come sit by him. I was about to move towards the table when Carol, Angie's manager came over.

"Wow…Angie you weren't kidding…he's great. Here…give him my card, I can't seem to track him down."

Angie took her card and nodded, "Oh Carol…this is Dylan McKay."

"Dylan." Carol smiled, "So nice to meet you. Man oh man you can write." she smiled warmly.

Dylan let go of her hand after greeting her, "Nice to meet you too."

"Oh Ang…have Mark come along to Kolbalt Music Group tomorrow. I know they would love to meet him too. Wouldn't it be awesome if you guys worked together? Angie sweetheart…Dylan…I'll see you guys tomorrow." Carol just like that walked away. Dylan and Angie looked a one another. FUCK!

Dylan took a deep breath and his eyes met mine. I knew what he was thinking at that moment. The excitement of his new job disappeared, Dylan was not thrilled at the prospect of working with Mark.

 _So there it was. The much awaited update. Sorry it took forever. It was a long one, so I hope that helps. What are you guys thinking? I know there is a lot of mixed feelings going on right now probably. Honestly I never mind the lyrics in my story cause I always listen to the song as I read it LOL It may help…just a thought. If any of the songs you do listen to while reading_ _Calum Scott - Dancing On My Own_ _is the one to listen to. It's so emotionally raw and AMAZING! Anyway…Hit review folks, I missed you! Check out the video that goes with this chapter_ youtu. be / vqU4s 7eZalw...take out the spaces.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

 _You're the thought that starts each morning_

 _The conclusion to each day_

 _You_ _'_ _re in all that i do_

 _And everything i say._

 _You're the smile on my face_

 _The twinkle in my eye_

 _The warmth inside my heart_

 _The fullness in my life_

 _You're the hand that's laced in mine_

 _And the coat upon my back_

 _My friend, my love_

 _You_ _'_ _re everything I lack._

 _You_ _'re the dimple in my cheek_

 _The ever-constant tingle in my soul_

 _The voice that makes me weak_

 _The one that makes me whole._

 _You_ _'_ _re all I've wanted_

 _You_ _'_ _re all I need_

 _You_ _'_ _re all I've dreamed of_

 _You_ _'_ _re all of this to me._

 _Summer Sandercox_

That mother fucker. Those are the only words that echoed in my head. I had to give Mark one thing. He was good. He was good at pulling at Brenda's heart strings, way better than I was and he was good at playing the victim. That mother fucker. I'm fucking trying…I'm trying to be supportive because even though I can't stand it its bluntly fucking obvious that Brenda cares about Mark. And I get it. I care about Kelly. I want her to be happy. But the huge difference is I don't want to be with Kelly and she doesn't want to be with me. We're friends with a past. Mark and Brenda care about each other on a different level and I know for a fact if I was to leave Brenda, maybe not right away but she would get back with him. And that scares the ever loving shit out of me.

First of all, the show. I get now why he didn't want us there. He was pulling out all the stops to impress Carol the manager and if I didn't feel the way I feel about Mark I would have told him he nailed it. His music was catchy and raw. He fucking plays the guitar like a pro, he sings better than half the guys we hear on the radio and he plays the fucking piano. I mean jesus christ he rapped for god sakes. His lyrics were haunting. Him talking about sex with her…talking about his jealousy, their kiss and then the last song was brilliant. The victim. When I saw Brenda race away in tears I knew it was hard for her to hear, it was hard for me to hear. He almost blamed her, for leading him on, for keeping him around but at arms length. I knew that's how Brenda was. She was nice. She wasn't going to not try to be friendly with him. When we broke up, I was screwing around with her best friend and she became my best fucking friend. That was Brenda, she was sweet and caring. She had a heart of gold, she wouldn't have had it any other way.

"You ok bro?" I came out of my trance as I felt Brandon touch my shoulder. I licked my lips and looked around the table, it being empty. I nodded quickly.

"Where is everyone?" I asked curious, I hadn't even noticed.

"Kelly and Brenda are getting drinks, the London posse is around, dancing it seems." I glanced to the dance floor to see Ang, Tyler, Laura and Eric slow dancing. I nodded.

"Are you okay?" Brandon repeated himself.

"Yeah." I shrugged, "Of course."

"I see what you mean." he said glancing at me, then looked towards where Kelly and Brenda stood at the bar. "About Mark that is."

I looked down and took a deep breath, "Yep. Lucky me huh? What should I do?" I asked him.

He shrugged, "Maybe nothing…maybe talk to Bren…up to you. I mean his songs don't change the fact that you have her Dylan. I mean all he is singing about is that fact."

"True." I agreed.

"I probably could have lived without knowing about her sex life a little but we can't win them all." He playfully shoved me with a chuckle and I rolled my eyes and smirked. "Mother fucker." I added.

Brandon laughed at me. "It will be fine. The guy has girls drooling all over him man…he'll move on eventually."

I looked across the bar just in time to see Mark surrounded by fan girls. He smiled politely at them, then I saw his eyes move towards Brenda. She was laughing with Kelly and taking shots not paying much attention to him. My eyes looked back towards him, yeah right…there were tons of girls who would easily go home with him tonight but he only had eyes for one girl…my girl.

By the time we left the bar, Kelly and Brenda were giggling and obviously feeling no pain. With all the Mark drama, I noticed Brenda drinking more than she normally did. At that moment I was envious she had an outlet to release the tension. Kelly was just a light weight it seemed and maybe enjoying her vacation a little more than she should.

Kelly giggled and let out a scream as Brandon scooped her up in his arms and kissed her hard. He seemed to be more happy than usual, probably from the 6 beers and 2 shots I had watched him enjoy. Brenda was ahead of me as she walked, she looked down thinking. I caught up with her and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She let out a quiet moan as I kissed her neck.

"That feels good." she whispered.

"Mmm." I groaned. "You ok?" I whispered as we walked slowly attached.

She turned in my arms and smiled, "I am now." she gleamed. I took that moment to stop and fully appreciate her. I leaned in taking her warms lips to mine. The kiss was sensual and slow. My tongue darted out tasting her upper lip and then mixed with her own. Our little make out sesion lasts a minute and then all 4 of us made our way back to the apartment. We all retired to the bedrooms it being after 2 am now. As I watched Brenda get ready for bed, I saw her somber expression. The one thing Brenda and I had had throughout our relationships was communication and sadly lately that hadn't been showing bright.

"You want to talk about tonight Bren?" I came out and asked.

She looked at me and sighed, "Not really…do you?"

I shrugged a little, "I don't have to…but its probably a good idea if we do." I was honest.

She sat on her side of the bed and exhaled. "I just feel bad. I don't like hurting people and I wish Mark wasn't so hung up on me." She looked into my eyes, "I care about Mark Dylan…I know you don't like it but the truth is Mark hurt me when we were dating but he helped me too. I didn't think you and me had any kind of future. I lived here, you lived in LA, you were dating Kelly…then Toni…you got married. He held me together and kept me from falling apart."

I looked down and swallowed hard. "I know." I said quietly.

"But here you are back in my life and hopefully for good." she smirked.

"Well that is the gist of marriage you know." I smiled joking. That made her laugh a little.

"I don't like hurting you either. I actually hate it." she said softly.

My lips came together and nodded, I did know this too. "Come here." I reached for her, she cuddled into my chest. I heard her sigh content as I kissed her head, my hands running slowly up and down her side. "I'm trying to be supportive Bren."

"I know." she said softly.

"I guess no matter how nice of guy I try to be there is the simple fact that he knows you like I do, well…not better than I do." I was being serious but she let out a chuckle, "But he knows things, you guys were in a relationship. He has been with you intimately, like I have, he loves you, and I understand it because I feel that way too. It's hard for me to know you were like that with another guy. Selfishly even when I was with other women, I liked knowing I was your first. I was your first love. Until you met Mark, no one had reached your heart like I had. I know that sounds fucked up." I exhaled not really believing I was telling her this stuff. I mean I liked the fact I was the most important relationship she had.

"It doesn't." she shook her head against me.

My eyes closed. She was too understanding for her own good. "You should be mad at me. I went out with your best friend, I slept with 2 of your friends Bren, I married someone else and now I'm having a hard time about a past boyfriend? God I'm a selfish prick."

Brenda raised her head to look at me, "You're not."

"I am though." I sat up angry with myself.

"Dylan…you're not." she pleaded getting on her knees.

"Stop making excuses for me Brenda." I yelled. "This all is because of me." Tears filled my eyes, I looked down trying to hide my tears, but then I heard her whimper. My eyes met hers, she was crying just looking at me. And I knew why, _SHE_ felt badly. God I should feel badly not her. She did nothing wrong. What did she do, try to move on from me? Jesus I was married, like I expected her to wait around for me or something even though I had vowed to be with someone else till death, ironic I know, do us part.

"Dylan please." her eyes begging for me to come back to bed. I was now standing and crying like an asshole. I looked at her. "Please come here." she whispered. My head fell down looking at my feet as I moved closer to her. Her hands came to my face, my eyes met hers. Tears streamed down her face. Why had I hurt this girl so much? "Baby." she whispered.

I took her into my arms and broke down. Now I was getting a taste of my own medicine and I was having a fucking tantrum about it. Maybe not to her but in my mind, I was. I hated everything about that guy. Just the simple fact she slept with him drove me insane. He knew her body, the way she felt against him, how her breasts filled your hands like perfection, the way she whimpered when you kissed behind her ear, the noises she made, the things she liked, how she smelled, how she tasted, he knew how she looked when she came undone. I fucking hated it. It wasn't fair of me. I had been with people too. She never brought it up. She never in the years I had known her EVER said… _my friend or friends know intimate details about you, and I can't stand it._ It wasn't fucking fair.

"I'm sorry." I whispered into her hair trying to relax. My hand coming to her head. I kissed it, my eyes squeezing shut trying to control my emotions since I was absolutely crying openly. It seemed I only lost my cool with this girl. I had before, jesus before I even knew her well. Our first date I balled like a baby about my father, I balled in her arms when my father died and she wasn't even my girlfriend. I hadn't done that with any other girl.

She leaned out and kissed me softly. She pressed her forehead against mine and I closed my eyes again.

"I deserve this." I uttered. "You should choose him over me. That's what I did to you. Karma at its fucking finest." I whispered. She pushed me away gently to look into my eyes.

"Stop…just stop." she got stern. "You're being ridiculous. Jesus Dylan…there is no comparison over the two of you. Dylan nothing's changed. You are still the most important guy in my world. I would never chose him over you. I love you…I have always loved you. Even when you didn't deserve it I loved you. Okay?"

I looked into her eyes deeply and nodded. She wiped her face emotionally exhausted with a smirk and shook her head.

"Me and you never do easy do we?" I chuckled taking the back of my hand and wiping my face. I shook my head, it was true. Things were always so intense with us. I wondered if they would always be. I sat down and Brenda lowered herself by me. Silence filled our bedroom as we took in the night.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" she asked softly.

"A little." I admitted.

"The contract is 12 songs?" she asked.

I nodded and looked at her.

"Why don't we write now?" she smiled a sweet smile at me.

"Together?"

She nodded, "It's been an emotional night…maybe we can bang out a couple so you are ahead of the game for your meeting?" Her smile widened. Her eyes bright blue from crying.

I thought about it, I had never written with Brenda before. I proceeded to grab my journal, and sat back against the headboard as she joined me. I opened it up and took a deep breath, "What should we write about?" I looked to her. My mind was mush at that moment from the emotional break down I freaking just had and I had liked this idea so much. I had kind of hoped she had something she wanted to say.

She pursed her lips together and thought, "We should write about us."

I smiled, "Okay. But where do we even start?"

"How about the beginning…young love." she smiled.

"Alright." I smiled wider and wrote "Young Love" as the title to our song.

I exhaled and smiled as I wrote…

 _"Your dad thought I was wrong for you…thinking back your mom did too." Brenda laughed._

 _"But two wrongs never felt so right."_ She added. I laughed and nodded writing it down. She continued, _"It was written in the stars, for two young and wild hearts…to sneak out into the night."_

"This is good." I wrote her lyrics down, smiling from ear to ear. I thought hard. And read out as I wrote. _"You'd climb in and take my hand._ The hook… _And you'd slide on over and we'd ride."_

"What about this for the chorus?" She took my notebook and wrote.

 _"Cause young love don't know nothing…When the radio plays you sing along."_

 _"When she's holding on."_ I added and sang the beat she was. She laughed out loud. I continued, _"You just can't get close enough, you swear it's sent from above."_

 _"It's real."_ She added.

 _"It's good."_ It was my turn.

 _"and it's young…love."_ we sang. Brenda giggled a lovely sound as I laughed. I gave her a sneaky look as I sang and wrote the next part.

 _"Remember that time you was supposed to be at your friend Kelly's and not with me, In Baja Cali, a hundred miles away."_ She laughed loudly.

 _"And that damned old border, made him shout."_ I laughed.

 _"Your old man cussed me out."_ We chuckled.

 _"And he swore that's the last I'd see your face."_ I looked into her eyes. More serious than before. She smiled at me. Yes but we snuck around anyway.

 _"But I'd pull into your neighbor's drive and cut the lights."_

 _"And you'd slide on over, on over and we'd ride."_ she sang as she cuddled into me, setting her head on my shoulder. We sang the chorus again.

 _"Cause young love don't know nothin'_

 _When the radio plays you sing along_

 _When she's holding on_

 _You just can't get close enough, you swear it's sent from above_

 _It's real, its good, and it's young…love."_

 _"There was really no way of knowing."_ She sang.

 _"But look at us baby, we're still going."_ I added.

"Alright Bren…back to the chorus."

 _"Cause young love don't know nothin'_

 _When the radio plays you sing along_

 _All damn night long_

 _You just can't get close enough, you swear,_

 _It's sent from above_

 _It's real, it's good_

 _And it's still….young love."_

 _"Young love." She sang._

 _"Oh…yeah…Young Love."_ I finished.

Brenda jumped excitedly in the bed. I laughed out loud and kissed her softly.

"We did it." she bounced again.

"Yeah we did."

"I can picture it…some guitar, maybe a little country twist." she lit up.

I nodded as I stared into her eyes. "Let's do another one." she gleamed.

"You're not tired?"

She shook her head, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

I laughed, "Okay." I turned the page in my journal. It was almost 4 in the morning, we didn't seem to mind. "Something more about us?" I thought.

We both sat silent for what seemed like forever. There was just so much to cover. I mean…we have a break up, we had a reunion, we had parent interference and other lovers.

"All of me." Brenda said out loud deep in thought. I looked at her waiting for more. "I'm thinking about everything, our life now. Starting over so to speak here in London."

She was going somewhere. "Okay…All of me…baby give me all of me. Wait. You know how here in London, we've been kind of locked away. From everyone…I mean, Brandon and Kelly coming to visit is out there but it's just us."

"Yeah." Brenda smiled, she knew my wheels were turning.

"Okay…um okay I got an idea for the chorus but what if we started out with." I looked at her, she was staring at me…waiting for me to continue, she looked fucking sexy as shit and it came to me. The words, the beat everything. That never happened. Usually I wrote poems and Angie or Tyler would try stuff out and make it into songs but I heard it. I heard the song.

 _"Your touch, your touch is everything now_

I feel so much, it's taking me down

Down, take me down."

God her smile was infectious. She nodded and started in.

 _"We stand so close, electricity_

 _All of you fits so perfectly with me, take me now."_ She winks and my eyebrows shoot up. Fucking perfect.

 _"Our love is an earthquake underneath my feet_

 _Your kiss is just a taste of everything I need."_ I nodded and continued with my previous idea for the chorus.

 _"So close the door, and through away the key_

 _Baby, give me all of you."_

Brenda added, _"And I will give you all of me_

 _All of me."_

"Holy shit Brenda…how is this so easy for us and why the hell haven't I did this with you before?"

Brenda laughed out loud and shrugged. "I don't know." She continued the next part.

 _"Let's run, let's run under the covers."_ She wiggled her eyebrows at me.

 _"You and me, runaway lovers._

 _Tell the world to stay away, stay away."_ Brenda giggled at my lines. It was so true. Everyone leave…Beverly Hills, Mark…Kelly…well not Kelly now but Kelly back then. So Brenda and I did what we apparently did best and wrote the rest.

 _"Our kiss is a taste that everything is right_

Your love is a fire burning up the night

So close the door and throw away the key

Baby, give me all of you

And I will give you all of me

All of me

All of me

All of me

All of me

All of me."

I looked at her, her eyes showing so much love I felt like I couldn't breath. I stared at her and sang the next part.

 _"Just one look and I can barely breathe_

 _I feel your blue eyes burning right through me_

 _So close the door and throw away the key_

 _Baby, give me all of you_

 _And I will give you all of me."_

Her hands came to my face roughly as she kissed me deeply. Her tongue glided against mine effortlessly.

"I want you." she breathed, her voice thick with passion and need.

I smiled against her lips and threw my journal down. She straddled me and continued her take down.

 _"Now pull your clothes…I know what you need…Baby, give me all of you."_ I whispered to her. She stared at me. I felt her chest breathing deeply against mine.

 _"And I will give you all of me…All of me."_ She whispered back.

Our lips met again in a passionate embrace as clothes flung around the room. Everything happening in a blur of gropes and kissing. I finally settled above her. She looked so beautiful, I was speechless. I pushed into her slowly, feeling the warmth of her love surround me. This was my home, Brenda was my home. All the bullshit and Mark meant absolutely nothing at this moment. I had all of Brenda…and she had all of me.

 _Ok so next up…the meeting. I highly doubt Mark is going to like Dylan's new songs. Especially when he tells them that they wrote them together. Since that was sort of Mark and Brenda's thing. EEK. Brenda spends some alone time with Brandon, they bond. More about the job and deal so to speak. Dylan and mark will have to learn to work together…this should be interesting. Plus Brenda goes back to work…and remember, Mark is in that play now. It's not ending yet folks lots to cover. Please please please review and tell me what you're thinking._


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

 _You Didn't love her_

 _You just didn't want to be alone._

 _Or Maybe,_

 _maybe she was just good for your ego._

 _Or, or maybe_

 _she made you feel better about your miserable life,_

 _but you didn't love her._

 _Because you don't destroy people you love._

 _Grey's Anatomy_

 _BPOV_

I rolled towards the middle of my bed. I reached for Dylan only to find an empty spot. Propping myself on my elbows I looked toward the clock, scared I had slept in and Dylan had left for his meeting already. Fortunately it was only 9 o'clock in the morning. I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair, it had been late night with Dylan breaking down about his insecurity and writing a couple songs. Then that led to incredible sex, it was after 5:30 in the morning when both of us finally settled in for the night. I took a deep breath trying to wake up a little, in the faint quiet of the morning I heard music. I looked towards my closed door. Grabbing my robe to cover my nude self I opened it gently as a guitar and harmonies filled the apartment. I walked out into the living room finding it empty. The guest bedroom door was still closed, so I assumed Brandon and Kelly were still asleep. I smiled recognizing the song playing upstairs in the loft. I went to join them, I knew by the voices it was definitely Dylan and Angie. I hit the top step and saw Tyler sitting at the portable piano, Angie with her guitar in her lap and Dylan sitting next to her. He had his journal opened on the coffee table as they sang young love.

I clapped with a smile when they stopped. Angie had stopped playing to tune her guitar. They all looked at me, smiles on their faces.

"That sounds great." I said happily. It was so much better with the added guitar. It had really come together…way better than Dylan and I singing a cappella. Of course Angie did indeed make it a country song, but how else would a song like that come out. Country music always told a story. And young love was a very specific story.

"You and Dylan wrote an awesome song. It reminds me of Tyler and me too." She smiled at him. "Except my daddy cussed him out over taking me down to Galveston. Do you remember that babe? Your truck broke down and he had to come pick me up."

Tyler laughed, "He was so ticked off."

I nodded, "Yeah…I forgot my ID at the border in Mexico. They called my dad."

"Young love." Tyler said with his accent thick. I noticed both of them since recently visited home and come back with their accents in full Texas beast mode.

I made my way over and sat in the small space next to Dylan. He smiled at me and kissed me softly.

"Good morning." he whispered into my mouth.

"Morning. Did you get any sleep what so ever?" I felt him kiss my temple as I reached for the journal that lay open.

"I did…but I was so amped up, I called Angie this morning and her and Tyler came over right away. I guess not only do we have a meeting with Grant Marshall, he has the music groups big wigs there and we have sort of an audition. So we came together to come up with a short set."

"Cool." I set the journal back down. It was super cool.

"Want to hear the song all the way through?" Angie smiled as she strummed her guitar. Turning

the tuning peg a fraction tighter. "Dylan wont sing today, even though he sounds great." she gave him a look in which Dylan just shook his head embarrassed. "Tyler is going to come along and sing Young Love. I emailed the lyrics of All of Me to Mark this morning. He said he'd sing that one as a duet with me. "

"Sounds awesome." Brenda smiled.

"Not sure about Don't Deserve You…maybe you can help, should it be a female or male vocal?" Angie looked at me for for input, I looked at Dylan. He looked down guiltily. "Is that new?" I asked only him. But Angie and Tyler looked down listening even though they knew by my tone, I hadn't a clue what she was talking about.

"Um…yeah…I wrote it last night…well this morning." Dylan spoke to his feet then his eyes met mine.

I smiled, "I thought you said you slept?" I laughed a little. "Well…play it." I pushed my shoulder into his playfully.

Angie smiled an looked at Tyler and gave him a nod. He started with a beautiful intro on the piano and Angie started to sing.

 _You're the first face that I see_

 _And the last thing I think about_

 _You're the reason that I'm alive_

 _You're what I can't live without_

 _You never give up_

 _When I'm falling apart_

 _Your arms are always open wide_

 _And you're quick to forgive_

 _When I make a mistake_

 _You love me in the blink of an eye_

 _I don't deserve your love_

 _But you give it to me anyway_

 _Can't get enough_

 _You're everything I need_

 _And when I walk away_

 _you take off running and come right after me_

 _It's what you do_

 _And I don't deserve you_

 _You're the light inside my eyes_

 _You give me a reason to keep trying_

 _You give me more than I could dream_

 _And you bring me to my knees_

 _Your heart is gold and how am I the one_

 _That you've chosen to love_

 _I still can't believe that you're right next to me_

 _After all that I've done_

 _I don't deserve your love_

 _But you give it to me anyway_

 _Can't get enough_

 _You're everything I need_

 _And when I walk away_

 _You take off running and come right after me_

 _It's what you do_

 _And I don't deserve you_

I wiped the tear from my eye. And looked at Dylan. He slowly moved his head towards me. He smiled a sad smile at me, taking his thumb and wiping a stray tear. I didn't care Tyler and Angie were there listening. My hand came to his face. I set my forehead against his and closed my eyes.

"You're so full of shit." I whispered. Dylan chuckled softly but kept close to me. "You're amazing and that was a beautiful song." I leaned out and looked into his eyes as they opened. "You're full of shit but still…it was beautiful."

Angie and Tyler laughed a little and shook their head. "So you like the female vocals?" she smiled at me.

I swallowed hard tearing my eyes away from Dylan's intense love stare for just a second to look around him at her. I nodded overwhelmed.

"So that's three songs to play today, not bad…only 9 left." Angie joked. "I'm sure Mark wont turn up empty handed. He needs this job. Even with the play he's doing, I know he's strugglin makin ends meet." She wasn't looking at anyone in particular as she set her guitar to her side. I looked at Dylan, worry in his face as his eyebrows pinched together. I rested my head on his shoulder and he took that moment to wrap his arm around me. He kissed my cheek gently, then his lips followed down my neck. I closed me eyes, knowing he was trying to calm himself. I could tell he was nervous at the prospect of Mark and possibly working together. The only thing I could do is reassure him, however I can that, by simply standing by him. He was my forever and he did deserve it. We both deserved some happiness after everything we had been through.

 _DPOV_

After Brenda and I made love last night. I tried to fall asleep. She lay peacefully next to me, I felt her warm body against mine. Her breathing steady and calm. My mind was in over drive. My karma break down still fresh in my mind. I had a terrible time letting people close to me. I had though, let down my walls for a few. Brenda being the first one. I knew I had made so many mistakes with her and she always forgave me. It's what she did. That's why I knew she loved me. She believed in me, she saw what most people didn't and frankly I didn't deserve her. I wrote that new one, in ten freaking minutes. it came pouring out of me, still high off our sex, still emotional from everything. It was 100% true, every word. Brenda might say I was full of shit but she knew deep down, it was true. I had put her through the ringer, and she still loved me. I tried to put Mark as far from my mind as possible. Tyler, Angie and myself had perfected the new songs I had. I was confident in them. If they didn't like what I had, it was okay. Different strokes for different folks, I would still get paid for the songs I had written for Angie's album. Plus they wanted to give me a publishing deal, so if they didn't much like the new ones, there was plenty of time to write more. Brenda wished me luck with a slow long kiss and a hug. Brandon had finally gotten out of bed shook my hand wishing me the best. Even Kelly in her severe hangover daze gave me a smile and thumbs up. Brenda had planned to bond a little with Brandon and Kelly was happy to oblige just wanting to lay in bed. She wasn't feeling that well from the shots and drinking at all. All three of us Ang, Tyler and myself took a cab to Kobalt Music Group. As we stood outside the double doors, I saw Angie reach down and grab Tyler's hand tightly. She looked at me with excited eyes and linked her arm with mine. We walked in to the lobby of the office and checked in. Mark was sitting there. Quiet and reserved. We said a polite hello to each other but mostly he chatted with Tyler.

Carol came out into view from a hallway that led from the back. She smiled warmly at us. "Welcome guys, I'm so happy you all could make it. Let's do this." she rubbed her hands together. Carol seemed nice but you could tell she was happy at the prospect of making some money on us.

We followed her into a small room. There were chairs set up in a circle. "Go ahead and set up. Warm up, tune up whatever you guys do. I'm going to let Marshall know you guys are here." she smiled again and left us to get situated.

Angie exhaled, taking out her guitar, "Fuck…I'm nervous." she said quietly.

"Don't be Ang…you already have a record out. You know they like what you have going on already." Mark began tuning his guitar.

"You good Dylan?" She looked at me curiously. I nodded quickly. My heart beating in my chest at these strangers hearing stuff so personal about me.

"How are we going to do this?" Mark asked looking between all of us.

"Well…Bren and Dylan wrote a couple new songs last night, Dylan has 3 new ones total. Tyler and I have one we wrote together while in Texas and a couple I wrote with Dylan. Are you playing some of the set you played at the pub or…?"

Mark stared at me. I knew why. Angie had said the wrong thing out loud, _Bren and Dylan wrote._ he huffed out a little and shook his head.

He snapped out of it quickly, "Nah…I got a few songs up my sleeve, some oldies but goodies, one new one." He added as he looked at me, a smirk falling on his lips. His hard stare said _you're a mother fucker_. But I just smirked and shook my head, he was just as much a mother fucker as me. I could only imagine what Mark's songs were going to be.

"Hey Ang remember Plenty Far to Fall?" Mark looked at her, he started a fast beat intro and Angie smiled wide.

"Hell yeah…I love that song. That's the one you wrote with Bren." Angie stopped catching herself and at looked at me, eyes wide. She bit her lip. "I'm sorry Dylan." she whispered.

"It's quite alright." I pretended I didn't care and looked to my journal, opening it up and situating myself.

Mark chuckled, "Thats the one, you'll sing it with me…Bren's parts?" he emphasized. I didn't look up.

Angie cleared her throat, "Ah…Sure." she said hesitantly.

Tyler interrupted, he seemed as uncomfortable as me. Torn between his respect for myself an Brenda but his long friendship with Mark. They were old friends with years of history between them. "I can feel my heart beating in my chest…what I would do for a shot of whiskey right now." he said quietly.

"That makes two of us." I spoke up. I looked at Tyler and Angie with a smile. They laughed knowing I didn't drink and they could only imagine.

"Welcome." Marshall Grant stood in the doorway. Carol appeared beside him with a smile.

"Marshall…I'd like you to meet Angie Rose…Tyler Travis…Mark Maddox and Dylan McKay." she pointed us out one after another.

I leaned into Angie, "Angie Rose?"

She softly giggled, "My new stage name." She rolled her eyes playfully. "Carol's idea."

We got up to shake hands with Marshall Grant as he was doing so with the other guys I whispered to her, "Well I like Angie Baker." she giggled.

The nice to meet yous flowed around the room as we took our seats. "So while we wait for Gloria and Andrew to join us, I thought we could chat a bit." Marshall had a think southern accent too. Weird considering we were in London. "I'll start…I was born in Chickasha, Oklahoma, small ass farm town." he chuckled, "I studied music my whole life and moved to Nashville right out college. I produced and wrote songs for a decade and half. I met a beautiful philly named Susanna and we opened up Kobalt Music Group. Out of all the jobs I had around Nashville, song writin was my favorite. So our kids moved here to London, about 15 years ago for theatre and Susanna and I had thought we'd bring a little of Nashville to the UK. We've been in business here for about 20 years. We have approximately 25 song writers contracted with us. We have sold over 17 million hits. People like The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Robbie Williams, Lily Allen, Eric Clapton…to name a few have gotten songs from our song writers."

I looked at Angie with wide excited eyes. She looked to the guys, smiles spread on their faces.

"Dylan McKay?" he looked at me. He was an older man, round center, he wore a cowboy hat and jeans. He had a beige blazer and white hair. He seemed friendly and had kind eyes. "Do you play instruments or sing?"

I shook my head, "Not really. I know basic chords and my voice isn't as good as these three. I write poetry, Angie here thought my poems were worth listening to and she has made some of them into songs."

"Oh I know that." he smiled, "Angie I've heard your demo and your new album is getting a lot of play here on the radio. London loves some country music. Girl I see you going places and I couldn't be happier your songs will have our name on them." Angie smiled and looked down embarrassed. "And the three of you used be in a band?" his eyes moved from Angie to Tyler and Mark. He spoke up.

"Yes…I met Tyler in college in San Francisco. I'm from northern California and Tyler here is from Texas…where he met Angie. These two couldn't be away from each other." He smiled at them, "So Tyler and I saved some cash, dropped out of college and moved here. To pursue music."

Marshall clapped his hands together and rubbed them together.

"Well…I'm sure glad you did. So Dylan…I think Angie here had mentioned the deal we have planned for you? The co-publishing deal is pretty common in publishing. You do give up 50% of your publishing shares but in turn you receive 100% of your writers share, 75% of your royalties. It's a little different than your average administrative deal. When you owe 100% but with the co-publishing deal, you work for us. We help get your songs out there, to potential artists. We do all the work. All you do is write…and cash in at the end of the day. I know you don't play. So you wont be auditioning for us today but that deal is open for you and ready. You will be contracted with us for a year. We can turn around and extend it after that period. In that year we expect 12 songs from you. We will be paying you for the songs already recorded through Angie. Carol is on our staff as a manager, so she is already contracted with us. Now you guys." he looked at Tyler and Mark, "I was hoping we could hear some things today. Maybe open up the same sort of deal that has been offered to Dylan. The thing is we already know what kind of song writer Dylan is. His songs are having success on the radio. So we are hoping you'll show us you have potential to do the same." Mark eyed me. Jealousy seeped from his veins. I wasn't a song writer. All I did was write poems. It wasn't my fault.

Mark cleared his throat, "Thank you sir for the opportunity, I hope you enjoy our little show." he said secure and confident.

Marshall clapped his hands again as I could only assume was Andrew and Gloria walked in. We all shook hands as they sat in the circle getting comfortable.

"So Dylan…Angie here says you wrote 3 more songs last night? Impressive son. And are these something you plan on recording yourself or could they be towards your 12 if you decide sign?"

"Towards the 12." I answered honestly.

He smiled liking that. "Well…let's it hear it."

First Angie and Tyler played Young Love. It was catchy and fun and as they sang I watched Marshall hitting his leg lightly moving with the music. All three of them clapped loudly when it was done. Mark bit his lip and shook his head. I don't think he liked the fact Brenda and I wrote that.

"That's wonderful." Gloria swooned. "It reminds me of my first boyfriend." she laughed.

I laughed politely and nodded, "Yeah…my girlfriend and I wrote it…it's about us. High school sweethearts." I said as my eyes glanced at Mark. He rolled his eyes and I gave myself a high five in my head.

Next Angie sang All of Me with Tyler on his acoustic, Mark on his electric guitar. He sang the guy parts. He didn't look thrilled but he sang good. Whatever he was feeling in his mind or heart he hid from the group. The group loved that one. Andrew gave me a wide smile, which he had stayed pretty quiet so I assumed that meant something. Next Angie sang Don't Deserve you. Mark that dick didn't seem to mind that one. He knew I didn't deserve Bren. Marshall and gang liked that one the most.

Tyler and Angie sang a duet that they had wrote in Texas. It was about a lost love, coming back and it was heartbreaking. It was an amazing song. They sang a few others. Ones I had heard before from the past shows. All around good stuff. Next it was Mark's turn. He had a piano, a guitar all around him.

"This first one I wrote with an old girlfriend. It was after a fight…and after the makeup." the group chuckled, Mark stared at me with a raise of one eyebrow. I crossed my arms ready as I stared back. This was the Plenty to Fall song he had asked Angie to sing.

He began with the guitar, an acoustic one. iIt was upbeat, fast and good. He bounced his leg and hit his boot against the floor getting into it. They both started it.

 _We could be wrong_

 _But there's somethin' about thinkin' about you_

 _That feels so right_

 _We should be movin' on_

 _We can worry about that tomorrow_

 _But not tonight_

 _Come a little closer, come a little closer_

 _Come on, honey, stay a little longer_

 _At least until the sun comes up again_

 _We got time for one last kiss before last call_

 _Darlin', we got plenty far to fall_

" _I know you're feelin' guilty."_ Angie sang alone

Mark winked at her, _"Not too guilty, not to take you home."_ he sang.

" _I, I, I, I know how much you want me."_ Angie belted.

Mark bounced his head to the side with the music and looked straight me while he sang his part, _"And I know you want me more than you let on."_

The both sang, _"Come a little closer, come a little closer_

 _Come a little closer, come a little closer_

 _Come on, honey, stay a little longer_

 _At least until the sun comes up again_

 _We got time for one last kiss before last call_

 _Darlin', we got plenty far to fall_

Mark started an amazing guitar solo. This song was a master piece. Honestly. I closed my eyes for a second. Mark and Brenda writing it together. I could picture her dancing around the bedroom in her bra and underwear, while Mark chased her around with his guitar. I had no idea if that actually happened but I could see it. I opened my eyes. Mark looking into mine. He swallowed hard and looked down at his guitar as he jammed out. He knew what I was thinking as he hide a faint smile. Both of them started the chorus again.

 _Come a little closer, come a little closer_

 _Come a little closer, come a little closer_

 _Come on, honey, stay a little longer_

 _At least until the sun comes up again_

 _We got time for one last kiss before last call_

 _Darlin', we got plenty far to fall_

 _Oh, come on, honey, stay a little longer_

 _At least until the sun comes up again_

 _We got time for one last kiss before last call_

 _Darlin', we got plenty far to fall."_

Marshall, Gloria and Andrew stood up and clapped. Mark smiled bowing his head. "Wow…oh wow. That was incredible. Who is this old girlfriend/girlfriend of both of you? Maybe she should be sitting in here, they're quiet the muse." Marshall joked.

Mark and my eyes met again and Angie cleared her throat. "Brenda is an actress." she says lightly. "She is very talented." Angie looks at me and smiles. Marshall sees this.

"I see that. You're a lucky guy." He says to me. I nod once. "And you Mark…who's your inspiration? She isn't going to come around and try to sue us for co-write rights is she?" he joked.

He shook his head, "Brenda wouldn't do that."

"Brenda?" he looked between us. "Same name? Brenda isn't that common. How interesting."

"It's the same girl sir." Mark added, I looked down and exhaled.

Marshall's eyes widened. "Holy shit." his voice thick with southern charm. "So…Mark your ex girlfriend…is now Dylan's current girlfriend?"

"Actually sir…she's my fiancé." Mark visibly flinched, "And we met in high school. At 16 years old. We dated for a couple years. She moved here to study at RADA."

"I see." Marshall looked between us. "And then she met you?"

Mark nodded. "Long story short sir, we dated, we broke up, he moved here, they got back together."

Marshall's clap made us all jump as he laughed out loud. "This is great! Well…you Mark and Dylan may not be from the south…but your story has a country song written all over it." he laughed out loud again. Mark, Tyler and Angie looked at each other then back at me. The big wigs were having a field day. All of us felt awkward as fuck.

After that died down, Mark played another song. His mood was visibly more somber than before. "I wrote this song for Bren…I guess a couple years ago. He started his acoustic guitar. As he mentioned Bren, Marshall smirked and looked at me. I took a deep breath, bracing myself. I didn't really like the fact Marshall seemed to like the fact there was some sort of competition between us. Mark started singing, it was more rock then the last one.

 _I'm so addicted to all the things you do_

 _When you're rollin' round with me in between the sheets_

 _Oh the sounds you make, with every breath you take_

 _It's unlike anything, when you're lovin' me_

 _Ooh girl, let's take it slow_

 _So as for you well, you know where to go_

 _I wanna take my love and hate ya 'til the end_

 _It's not like you to turn away_

 _From all the bullshit_ _you can't take_

 _It's not like me to walk away_

 _I'm so addicted to all the things you do_

 _When you're rollin' 'round with me in between the sheets_

 _Oh the sounds you make, with every breath you take_

 _It's unlike anything, when you're lovin' me, yeah_

 _And I know when it's gettin' rough_

 _All the times we spend tryin' to make this love_

 _Somethin' better than just makin' up again_

 _It's not like you to turn away_

 _All the bullshit_ _you can't take_

 _Just when I think I can walk away_

 _I'm so addicted to all the things you do_

 _When you're rollin' 'round with me in between the sheets_

 _Oh the sounds you make, with every breath you take_

 _It's unlike anything_

 _I'm so addicted to that thing_ _you do_

 _When you're rollin' 'round with me_

 _Oh all the sounds you make, with every breath you take_

 _It's unlike anything, when you're lovin' me_

 _When you're lovin' me_

 _How can I make it through all the things you do?_

 _There's just gotta be more to you and me_

FUCK THIS MOTHER FUCKER, I felt my fist clench. I stared at him. I'm sure the anger was radiating off me. No one seemed to notice, except Angie, Tyler and Mark.

 _I'm so addicted to all the things you do_

 _When you're rollin' 'round with me in between the sheets_

 _Oh all the sounds you make, with every breath you take_

 _I'm so addicted to you_

 _Addicted to you_

My eyes squinted at him. He stared back. His expression sure and cocky. Then after the stare down, the left side of his smile tweaked up in the slightest of smirks. I lost it. I got up hastily, his smirk in full force now.

"Everything okay Dylan?" Marshall looked at me and I snapped back to where I was.

I cleared my throat, "Uh…yeah…I'm sorry. Can you point me to the restroom?" I asked nicely. This prick wasn't going to ruin this for me.

"Oh sure…of course. Down the hall to the left, we'll take a short break." I nodded and went to find it. I splashed water on my face. Grabbing the paper towels roughly, drying my face. I turned towards the door opening and Mark stopped in the bathroom. He looked at me, before moving to the urinal. I glared at his back as he took a piss. He finished with a flush and moved to the sink to wash his hands. Silence filled that bathroom as I watched him.

He smirked a little looking at me in the mirror, "You didn't like my song?" he asked innocently.

I didn't say anything as I stared him down. "I'm sure you can relate to the lyrics anyway. I mean we both slept with the same girl…so I'm sure you know exactly what I mean about her sounds that is." he threw the paper towel into the trash and squared off. My fists clenched as I breathed out of my nose angrily.

"Oh come Dylan…I know you have something to say." he said cocky with attitude. When I didn't say anything he shrugged, "Suit yourself. It's funny because I changed the lyrics in that last song. One of the lines used to say…I'm addicted too…all the things you do… When you're going down on me in between the sheets…I thought it was more appropriate this way." I moved fast and grabbed his shirt as I banged him against the wall hard.

"You son of a bitch." I said through my teeth. He just smiled at me.

"What's the matter Dylan…you can't stand the fact that up until you came back practically I was the one fucking your girlfriend…singing to her, making love to her. You hate it." he seethed, He held on to my arm that went across his neck. I banged him harder against the wall again.

"Fuck you." I was trying not to stoop to his level. Fuck it was hard.

"You may have her Dylan…but I've had her too…all of her…I can't even count how many times she moaned out my name." I knew Mark wasn't a fighter, but he had no problem with the fact I was about to kick the shit out of him and had him up against the wall.

I pushed my arm into his throat, "You might of had her Mark…but I get her every night, sometimes twice my friend." I pushed harder and heard him choke a bit, "I was there first you mother fucker. Before you…before anyone…I'll be there last." I whispered harshly and banged him again harder than before.

"What the fuck are you guys doing?" Tyler appeared in the bathroom now. "Are you guys fucking crazy? Do you know how important this is? For me…for Angie? For fucking you Mark, you can't even pay your fucking bills."

I let him go then and backed away a couple steps. Tyler was right. Mark fixed his button down and glared at me.

"I know you guys don't get along…can't you pull your heads out of your asses for one fucking afternoon? Jesus. Stop acting like fucking children before I kick the shit out of both of you. This isn't a pissin match…put your dicks away and start acting like adults." Tyler was beyond annoyed and left with a slam of the bathroom door.

"He's right." I uttered, calming myself.

Mark walked the 2 steps closer to me, in my face, "I know he's right. Not all of us have millions of dollars sitting in the bank…from mommy and daddy." my fists clenched again, I didn't know if Mark knew my dad was dead. I didn't think he did at this point. "You know you're right too…you don't deserve her." he turned to walk past me.

"You don't either." I said back stopping him.

He laughed a little, a smart ass look on his face, "Maybe not…but at least I didn't stick my dick in her friends." he turned now, his back to me.

"No…you just stuck your dick in everything else while you were with her." I commented back. He stopped and turned around.

His eyes filled with rage, he pursed his lips together, one eyebrow raised slightly as he calmed, "At least I didn't marry someone else. Or offer a trip around the world to her brothers girlfriend. I should actually thank you for that…because when she found out about it…that was when we has sex for the first time. So thank you Dylan for giving me the best year and half of my life, and the sexiest most amazing girl I have ever had.…I owe ya." He smiled and winked at me and left the bathroom.

I breathed out heavily. My hand came out as I punched the tiled wall hard, it buckled as I felt my knuckles crack. I looked down at them start to bleed. My hands came down my face roughly, my eyes closed. I shook my head and took deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I washed my hand the best I could, wrapping it in paper towels to try to get it to stop bleeding. After counting to 10…I rejoined the group. The only person that looked at my wrapped hand was Angie. She didn't say anything as Mark finished his little set. The last song wasn't as annoying as the others. It was a slow ballad about wanting someone back. I barely listened as the words he said to me, the lyrics in his songs ran over and over in my head. Marshall offered all of us the same deal. He had contracts in manilla envelopes. He told us to take them home, read through them and get back to him with our decisions. After the meeting I left with my packet and didn't even say goodbye to Angie and Tyler. I spent the remainder of the afternoon, walking around London. Going over everything in my head. It was almost 7 o'clock at night now, I had been gone since noon. I started my trek back home. As I waited at the corner for the light to turn to cross the street I looked to my right. St. James Tavern. It didn't look crowded as music lulled out of the front doors. I took a deep breath and looked towards the street, willing myself to go home…to Brenda. Then I heard him…in my mind… _Maybe not…_ _but at least I didn't stick my dick in her friends. At least I didn't marry someone else. Or offer a trip around the world to her brothers girlfriend. I should actually thank you for that_ _…_ _because when she found out about it_ _…_ _that was when we had sex for the first time. So thank you Dylan for giving me the best year and half of my life, and the sexiest most amazing girl I have ever had._ _…_ _I owe ya._ I growled out loud and turned to my right, heading into the pub.

 _*Hides* oooooooh shit…how will these two work together? And now Dylan is at the bar? Oh shit! Next up…Brenda worries about where the hell Dylan is. Brenda and Brandon have their moment then, it didn't fit into this chapter. Seems like Mark is more bitter than ever…but does he have a small point? Dylan sure did fuck up things in regards to Brenda after she left for London.I meant she didn't really make him suffer much for them before taking him back? Let me know what your thinking pretty pretty please. If you would like to listen to the songs in this chapter, they are Don't Deserve You by Plumb...Young Love by Kip Moore (which there is a Brenda and Dylan video on my youtube page)...All of Me by Nashville...Plenty Far to Fall by Nashville...Addicted by Saving Abel. Have fun...happy listening and happy reading!_


	46. Chapter 46

_There is no poem at the beginning of this chapter but it's at the end ;) Enjoy!_

 **Chapter 46**

BPOV

I looked around the table spread. I made tacos…all the fixings…rice…beans…a full Mexican spread…Dylan's favorite. I had talked to Angie hours ago and she told me the meeting went well. So to celebrate I wanted to do something special for Dylan…but he wasn't even home. Honestly where the hell was he?

I sighed and looked at Brandon…then Kelly, "We should just eat." I sat down. The table was quiet as we all started making our tacos. I looked at my brother, his sympathetic eyes on mine. He knew I was upset.

"Mmmm." Kelly moaned appreciative, "God…these are good." I smiled at her. I watched Brandon take a bite.

He closed his eyes, "Seriously Bren…sooo good." he talked with his mouth full.

I took a deep breath, "Yeah…too bad Dylan is missing it." I said out loud.

Brandon's face was serious, "Does he do this a lot?" he asked honestly.

I shook my head, "No…never…I mean the Hawaii thing but no."

"I'm sure he's fine." Kelly smiled a sad smile at me. She was trying but it was't working.

We enjoyed Dylan's meal, dinner being pretty quiet. I had a feeling Kelly and Brandon didn't really know what to say and honestly either did I. By the time we had put the left overs away and sat down to watch a movie…it was after 11pm. Something was wrong, Dylan didn't stay out and not come home. Even though we had lived in London together for a while now, he didn't venture. He would have called. I looked at Brandon as the starting credits of the movie started.

I hit pause, "I'm worried…about Dylan. This isn't like him."

At that moment my phone rings and I hop up quickly to get it. Please be him.

"Dylan?" I say not even thinking.

"No…Bren…it's me" It's Angie.

"Have you seen Dylan?" I ask desperately.

Angie is quiet for a second, "He didn't come home? No I haven't seen him since the meeting."

"Shit." I whispered, "Ang…I'm worried."

"I know Bren…Tyler said." Angie exhaled, "Tyler said Dylan and Mark had an argument today. When Tyler walked into the bathroom. Dylan had Mark by his shirt up against the wall. He didn't hear what the fight was about but…Mark's here…he told us what happened."

I shook my head and closed my eyes, "Ang…I'll be there in a few. Mark is going to tell me exactly what he said to Dylan."

"Ok…see you soon."

"Don't let Mark leave. I want answers."

"I won't…bye." Angie hung up and I turned to face the curious eyes looking at me.

"I'm going to go look for him." I walked over to the coat hook grabbing my jacket.

Brandon got up, "I'll come with you."

"Me too." Kelly nodded also getting up.

"Someone has to stay behind." I said truthfully, "In case he comes back…then you can page me 911 and we'll know to come back." I said hoping that Kelly would stay back.

Brandon made the decision without be having to say it, "Kel…you stay…page Bren if he shows up." Brandon walks towards her, kissing her quickly.

"Be careful." she calls out as we leave the apartment togehter.

We walk quickly to the elevator and stand silent as we get to the lobby of my apartment building. As we walk into the chilly London air, Brandon speaks up, "Where do we even start?"

"Angie and Tyler's…Mark has some explaining to do."

Brandon looks at me, silently his mind is wandering. He nods but doesn't comment as we walk the few blocks to their place.

When I knock on Angie's door, she smiles at me as she lets Brandon and I in. I see Mark strumming his guitar on the a chair. He looks up at me, eyes widen and then smiles, like he is happy to see me.

"Hey Bren." he says nicely. "Brandon right?" he smiles at my brother.

Brandon nods, "Hey." he says nicely.

I'm not here for bullshitting. I walk up to him and straight out ask him, "What happened with Dylan today?"

"What?" he sets down his guitar and looks at me.

"What did you say to Dylan? Angie said Tyler said something happened in the bathroom…I want to know exactly what you told him." he looked down guiltily.

"Brandon…darlin…you want some coffee…tea…whiskey?" Angie smiled at him. Motioning for him to follow her in the kitchen.

Brandon chuckles, "Sure." he moves and follows her, Tyler joining them. I'm thankful for Angie giving Mark and I some privacy.

"I'm waiting." my hand goes to my hip as I stare at him. Fighting with Mark, I do well…fighting and fucking that's what we had. We were extremely good at this part. Which was usually how the fucking began. I shake my head, still waiting.

Mark exhales and gets up, "Look Bren…I lost it. I listened to the songs you wrote with him…and I got angry. So…it was time to play my songs and…"

"What did you play?" Shit I should have known.

"Plenty Far to fall…"he stood quiet, Ok so that one wasn't that bad. I actually loved that song, We wrote it in his bedroom. I laughed and ran around his bedroom in my bra and panties as he chased me around with his guitar, it was fun. But Dylan didn't know that. he wasn't there, that was ages ago.

"What else?" Mark sighed and looked down again. Great this was just great.

"Addicted." I squeezed my eyes shut and swore.

"You sang a song…about me giving you a blow job…in front of Dylan? At a meeting with song writers? Are you crazy?" I yelled.

"No." He stepped towards me, "I changed the words."

My hand went through my hair frustrated, "To what Mark, what did you change them too?"

"I'm so addicted to all the things you do…when you're rollin round with me in between the sheets." he said softly.

I groaned and looked at the ceiling. "Brenda…I'm sorry. Okay…I know…it was childish."

"Damn right it was childish Mark…Dylan is my fiancé…he's going to be my husband. You can't just say shit to him just because we had a realtionship." I pleaded. I looked at him. His face guilty, there was more. "What…please Mark…you say you care about me…please me honest with me."

"I told him what the original lyrics were. We had words in the bathroom and thats why he grabbed me. Told me fuck you."

I sat on the couch and exhaled, "No wonder he's gone."

"Gone? What are you talking about?"

Tears filled my eyes, "He didn't come home, not after the meeting, not even at this moment. What if he doesn't coming back?" I sobbed out and my face fell into my hands. I knew it was dumb to think this way, over dramatic but I couldn't help it.

"Brenda don't be ridiculous…I'm sure he is just somewhere cooling off." he sat beside me. He kept his distance but I felt his hand on my back as he comforted me.

"Did anything else happen?" I looked into his green eyes. He visibly swallowed, fuck there was more.

Mark got up and paced back and forth, "Look Brenda…I know it was fucked up. I know…just…it's not fair. Dylan has you…and he all of a sudden has a music career, he doesn't even play fucking music." Mark raised his voice. "I told him he didn't deserve you…and he told me I didn't either…then I said at least I didn't stick my dick in your friends." I watched him anger building slowly, "He gave it right back. He said No…that I had just stuck my dick in everything else when I was with you." he looked down, "It pissed me off so much that I told him, At least I hadn't married someone else…or offer a trip to your brothers girlfriend." I stared at him. Shocked. They straight had a pissing match…in the bathroom…at a profession meeting. Were they fucking insane? "Then…I told him thanks because that was the first time we had sex after you heard about it." I rushed him angrily, my hand came back so far and it moved across his face with a loud slap.

"God! You dick!" I screamed. "You threw everything in his face."

"Brenda." he tried to come to me but I backed away.

"Brandon!" I called out. Brandon was there in an instant. I wasn't stupid I knew they heard us. Angie's apartment was the size of a shoe box. "Come on."

Brandon eyed Mark then followed me out. I didn't want to hear anymore.

Brandon walked quickly trying to keep up with me, "Where we going Bren?" he said curiously

"Bars…we're checking all the bars in the area from the Music group to home."

17 pubs…we searched 17 pubs with no sign of Dylan. As we made our way back to the apartment we stood at the light waiting to cross. I looked to the right and heard music.

"Brandon." I whispered and began walking up to St. James Tavern. "He's here." I whispered.

Brandon looked at me funny, "How do you know?"

I walked to the front door looking back at my brother, "I just do." I opened up the door with force and looked around. There at the bar was Dylan. Head down, his right hand resting around a glass of scotch, his journal laying beside it.

My head tilted to the side as I watched him. Even his back looked miserable. I looked at Brandon, I held up my hand letting him know to give me a minute. He nodded and walked towards an empty booth. I slowly walked up to Dylan and sat beside him.

"How many of those have you had?" I asked calmly. He didn't even look at me.

"None." Dylan stared at the glass. "I'm torturing myself with this one. At least for the last 5 hours."

"Dylan." I breathed out. He looked over at me, tears in his eyes.

"Why do you love me Bren? I've done so many awful things to you. Why do you love me?"

I sighed, "I just do." I shurgged, "I always have…I can't help it."

He looked at the full glass of scotch again. I spoke up again, "I know what Mark said to you today…what he did…with the comments and the songs." he looked at me.

"Who told you?"

"Mark."

Dylan sighed letting go of the glass and pushing it towards the inner part of the bar. "He's right. Everything he said was right."

I reached out putting my hand on his arm, "No…everything isn't right. Dylan I did not even have sex with Mark the first time when you offered Kelly a trip around the world. He wasn't even honest. He was trying to hit you as hard as he could and make himself feel better. Mark and I had been seeing each other for a while before that Kelly drama. it might have been closer to around the time you were hooking up with Val." Dylan sighed annoyed, I wasn't helping, "What I'm trying to say is he's full of shit. He's jealous…of your success you're having with song writing and losing me to you." he looked at me.

"You know why I love you. Because you are the first man that ever made me feel like a woman, that made me feel special, loved and needed. You gave me self confidence by telling me I was pretty, just one lustful sexy look made me feel things I have never felt before. Then…I got to know you. You were sweet and charming, smart and fun, romantic and so handsome." Dylan smiled a little, "I felt so lucky you even wanted me." he turned on his bar stool towards me. "I felt lucky that I got to love you, that you picked me out of any of the hundreds of girls what wanted you." Dylan pressed his lips against mine strongly.

His arms embraced me tightly and I closed my eyes, "You're wrong…I was the lucky one. That someone like you would even give someone like me a chance." he whispered to me. He leaned out and gently cupped my face with both his hands, "I fell in love with you…the first moment I laid eyes on you. You made it so easy. That a tough loner boy like me could fall head over heels in love the very moment his eyes met hers."

I smiled covering my hand on his. "It doesn't matter what happened in the past Dylan. It doesn't matter what kind relationships we've had with other people. What matters is how we are now, in the present and the future."

Dylan kisses me again. It's a sweet soft open mouth kiss that leaves me wanting more. He reaches for his journal and pushes it towards me. "When I was thinking about all the reason why you should hate me…the only thing that I kept thinking about was how much I love you. You gave me some of the reasons why you love me, here are some of mine…you make it easy." he whispered the last part.

I looked at him as I opened the journal to the last page he had written on. I read to myself.

 _Like a rainy Sunday morning makes me wanna stay in bed, twisted up all day long_

 _You're my inspiration girl, you take me places, put the words right into these songs_

 _Stealin' kisses undercover babe_

 _I see forever when I see your face_

 _And I swear God made you for me_

 _You make it easy_

 _Lovin' up on you_

 _Make it easy_

 _With every little thing you do_

 _You're my sunshine in the darkest days_

 _My better half, my saving grace_

 _You make me who I wanna be_

 _You make it easy_

 _You took on my rough around the edges_

 _Never let it ruffle up your feathers, angel_

 _Yeah I'm down for life, you got me wrapped around your finger_

 _And I like it just in case you can't tell_

 _You make it easy_

 _Lovin' up on you_

 _Make it easy_

 _With every little thing you do_

 _You're my sunshine in the darkest days_

 _My better half, my saving grace_

 _You make me who I wanna be_

 _You make it easy_

 _Stealin' kisses undercover babe_

 _I see forever when I see your face_

 _And I swear God made you for me_

 _You make it easy_

 _Lovin' up on you_

 _Make it easy_

 _With every little thing you do_

 _You're my sunshine in the darkest days_

 _My better half, my saving grace_

 _You make me who I wanna be_

 _You make it easy_

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. "Dylan." I whispered. "You're so beautiful" maybe it was silly but he was.

He shook his head, leaning his forehead against mine. He didn't say anything and that told me everything I needed to know. Like magic, Allison Krauss played loudly through the jukebox. I grabbed his hands and he was leading me in the middle of the dive bar. I couldn't even tell you how many people were in there. My arms tightly around his neck, his around my waist, we swayed back and forth slowly, our foreheads touching, eyes closed.

 _It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart_

 _Without saying a word you can light up the dark_

 _Try as I may I could never explain what I hear when you don't say a thing_

"I'll see you guys back at the apartment." I heard Brandon say quietly, a kiss to my temple and a pat on Dylan's back. I knew he was leaving us to make up. I just swayed in silence slowly, close to the man I loved as the rest of the song played out, making the life around us…disappear.

 _The smile on your face lets me know that you need me_

 _There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me_

 _A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall_

 _Now you say it best when you say nothing at all_

 _All day long I can hear people talking out loud_

 _but when you hold me near you drown out the crowd_

 _Old Mister Webster could never define_

 _what's being said between your heart and mine_

 _The smile on your face lets me know that you need me_

 _There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me_

 _A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall_

 _Now you say it best when you say nothing at all_

 _The smile on your face lets me know that you need me_

 _There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me_

 _A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall_

 _Now you say it best when you say nothing at all_

 _Allison Krause_

 _I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'm sure some of you are very happy with Brenda finding out about what Mark said…also with that slap! Wink wink. I like Mark…he's fun to write and god I wish I could write a sex scene with him in it LOL But yeah can't go there. Brenda and Dylan are getting married. He isn't going anywhere but he wont be such an ass anymore. At least I don't think EEK! Please review. Thanks for being patient with this one._


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